Oddworld Dougs oddysee
 

hey im writing a fan story about about a mudoken mercenary who works for the magog cartel . heres the first passage below tell me what you think of it .

Dougs Oddysee

Doug was a Mercernary he had been practically every where killed practically one a every speceies . His left eye was white and scarred from s a passed mision and his left arm was mechanical however this was as h was born with no arm . He was extremley aggressive for a mudoken due to his past . He became a Mercenary after he ran away from rupture farms being a child escape was easy except for his arm . in the desert he was ambushed by some sligs which he killed and took ther weapons the glukkon who was in charge of the sligs offered him a job and and as payment his arm was built .
his arm had a built on smg but had fingers to grab hold.he had industrial body armour , wood camo pants and industrial combat boots. he had several guns about him like a bolt action sniper rifle which used to belong to a gabbit hunter and a pistol with a external clip which was custom built for him by his employer.

so what do think so far?????:fuzconf:

We have a place for Fan fictions ;)

*moves