Conspiration in oddworld
As my first fanfic (first of equals fanfic) didn´t went so well, i have decided to make a new one.
Enjoy it! It is an order! After the end of MO, Abe and Munch had landed on the place where gabbit eggs hatch, and they poured the eggs in the lake in the place, and they hatced, and new baby gabbits began to swim. Munch stayed with the gabbits with the mudarchers but Abe and the mudukon eggs were teleported by Bigface, after he also had greeted Munch to a place where some kind of "Great Wiseman" would help him. Here begins the story. They were in a room that looked like a normal office on Earth. Strange creatures walked or crawled around. The Wiseman could not be seen, because he talked over a phone. The Wiseman said: "Abe, you have destroyed Rupture Farms and Soulstorm brewery, and a lot of other things, but you still haven´t killed Lady Margaret and all the glukkons." Abe answered: "But Lady Margaret is dying, and i can´t just kill all the glukkons on so short time". The Wiseman said again: "Oh yes you can, if you have enough mudukon, you can make an attack on Nolybab and defeat the glukkons. Now i have no more time speaking with you, go away, and do what i have said to you!" Abe: "Okay". The Wiseman: "Shut up!" Then Bigface came and teleported Abe to the Raisin. |
:)I could use some improvement, you don't describe the place they are in and script is off putting for most.
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Hmmmm.... sounds good so far keep it up!:bow:
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A hearty lawl to you, primus. I thought the title at first was 'Constipation in Oddworld'.
I have no critques, lest Zozo think less of me again. God only knows I need to patch up my image for my attitude these last few weeks. |
Nice Story!
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Thank you. I have made some changes to my first post.
When Abe and Bigface had left, a chronicler came to the Wiseman and asked him, why he was helping Abe. The Wiseman answered: "Because i need Abe to kill the glukkons and stop them from ruling Oddworld. If i can do this, then khanzumers like me, can rule Oddworld without any glukkons in our way. Or why do you think that i ordered so much gabbit fishing, or let the last can of gabbiar be on an auction? It was made, because the glukkons only think about getting rich, not about their future health, and if all the gabbits had gone, a lots of glukkons, inclusive the glukkon queen would have died. I have already defeated the vykkers, now it is time for the glukkons, and on the same time, i also defeat the mudukons. How ironical, i am the leader of the mudukons, the glukkons and the vykkers, and i am against them all, but i am also leader of the khanzumers, the only race, that i am a leader of, that i support. Croniclers would also be accepted." The cronicler: "Oh, so it on that way, thats interesting ha ha ha!" |
Neeeeeeeds....Grammar improvement and descriptionz. And I still have no idea where this is set in, describe the house or whatever plz.
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HMMM...Nice!
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