I went to a Funeral
 

Last week I went to a funeral of a family friend. It was the first time I have been to one in about 10 or 15 years and I hated it. It was awful. Everyone was crying and sad. What you expect at a funeral. But I didn’t like it. There was even a really nice speech from one of the daughters but that still didn’t shake the fact that it was really sad. I know you have to mourn but why play a slow song by Elvis? Even that was sad.

When I die I want to have a party. I want people to enjoy themselves and celebrate the life that I lived not mourn my life. If people cry while they are having fun then so be it, but I don’t want people feeling sorry for me. I haven’t figured out the mechanics yet but I want to make my death a positive, not a negative.

How many times have you been to a Funeral Service? Was it sad for you or was it boring? How would you have your funeral? Would you want something traditional or do you want something different like I want to?

I've never been to a funeral, but my parents went to my grandad's funeral a few years ago without me because I was at school camp. I didn't even know he died untill I got back, so I wasn't only sad that he'd died so unexpectedly, but angry because the news was hidden from me. I was one of the last to know.
At my funeral, I'd want it to be in all white, instead of traditional black. Black represents darkness, darkness represents unknown, and people most often associate death with the unknown. Because, who can really know what happens after we die? But white (to me) represents new life, new beginning, a new journey. For me, death is not the end, but a new beginning. Death is change.
I'd want my body to be buried, and whatever my last words will be, carved onto the gravestone.
...Yeah.
Sorry about the long post, I seem to have slight OCD.

I've been to lots of funerals, I guess. Three grandparents and several older relatives that I only really went to to placate my parents.

Ummm... I don't really have much to say about funerals. Jewish funerals all follow pretty much the same pattern so there's not much to compare. A couple of prayers, a eulogy then you go put the coffin in the grave. Shovelling the dirt on the coffin is the worst part, but it's a pretty strong tradition that everyone should help out - Judaism has strong respect for dead bodies and burying someone as quickly as possible. In addition, burying someone is considered the most honorable good deed because it's the only one that you can't expect repayment.

As for funny funeral stories, I suppose I could mention my sister cracking up laughing at my grandmother's funeral because right opposite her there was a very conservative rabbi with a big beard and black hat and coat sitting next to my mum's boss who happens to be also be a professional punk rocker.
http://www.ajn.com.au/ajn/uploads/im...r-for-page.jpg

I've only been to one funeral, which was my great uncle's. They're terrible, and they make you feel depressed.

They're so bad i've never been to one!

I enjoy depression... Therefore, I like funerals. I also like the Max Payne 2 theme cause it's depressing. You might as well listen to it if you haven't heared it before and it will make you think I'm crazy. Which I AM!

I could have gone to a fair few in my life, but I never have because I can't be doing with it.

I went to my grandpas last year, those people played the bangpipes (or whatever they are called) and I couldnt stop myself from howling. Why do they play really sad music?! Its not fair.

At my funeral, I want a ventriloquist to make it sound like I'm saying stuff to the people as they walk by, like 'Let me out, you sons of bitches!', or 'What the **** am I doing in here? And where's Judith!?'

Then I want someone to spike all the drinks with pure alcohol so everyone is falling-down drunk as they lower the coffin down.

And maybe even hire someone to play a distant nephew, and have them look into the casket and say, 'That's not my uncle!'

Maybe even spray paint my coffin with graffiti and cover it with all kinds of offensive things.

Then, finally, make sure my funeral is scheduled right before and/or next to a wedding to throw off how people should feel. Happy because it's the joining of two people? Or depressed because someone died?

EDIT:

One final thing I'd like done.

Hire a professional skydiver to guide my body into the casket at terminal velocity so that it impales itself onto the massive metal spike inside it. Then it bursts into flame, incinerating my body.

Shortly after, the keg of gunpowder beneath it explodes, destroying everything within twenty feet.

The charred remains are then lowered into the resulting crater.

Also, I've never been to a funeral, unless watching your dog being putdown counts. That depressed me for a week, because I kept trying to think about what my dog's last thoughts had been, and it made me sad because it kept coming back to my dog wondering why it was getting so sleepy and why everything was going dark and why the Masters looked sad.

....That would be an awesome funeral. I would so go to your funeral, whether I was invited or not.

I'm having my body stuffed and put in a cupboard at work.

I hate funerals, they always make me cry. Honestly, As if my life isnt sad enough!

This is why you will never truly be loved by anyone with half a brain. You went to an event that signifies the end of an individual and all you could think about is how this affects you and that you don't need this shit, your life is sad enough.


You suck.


And Fortesque is an annoying little hipster.

Nice :rolleyes:


I've been to one. I practically gatecrashed it, no one expected me to turn up (myself included), due it it being a weekday and I was supposed to be at university. It's a long story...

The whole thing, however was incredibly awkward, which is another long family-related story that even I don't know. As a souvenir I caught a virulent stomach illness and was sick for a week when I went back to uni.


At my funeral, the only specific thing I've thought of is that they must play That's Death at some point during the proceedings, whether it is deemed appropriate or not. It is an essential part of my send-off, more so than the casket.

I've also been to a fair few, my family members have a habit of either dying too young or too old. No inbetweens. As for the funeral itself, I find them rather contradictory, as we sit through being told that they now have eternal life in heaven, but yet we ball our eyes out anyway.

Still, I'd want everyone at my funeral to ball their eyes out at such a great loss to humanity.

However, I mostly look forward to the wake. Coming from a predominantly Irish background has it's perks, and the wakes are always drunken. Depressing, or not.

Alcar...

I doubt that will ever happen.

Funerals are always going to be sad.

God, I hate funerals, I dont really like dead people, even though It was a grandparent (nan). Just creeped me out. Brrr.

I've been to several funerals in the past few years.

One was for a kid in my class who died of leukemia. That was a major fucking bummer. My whole class went... I actually don't remember much of the service, but I was crying and I didn't even know the kid. It was just kind of tragic.

Another funeral was for my friend's father who was stabbed to death one afternoon last summer. Some kid wanted his cell phone and he wouldn't give it to him. Then his sons found him outside bleeding. So there's another tragedy. The funeral followed suit.

I also went to a wake, which I guess doesn't really count, but it was fucked up as well. This kid was dismantling his grandpa's gun and shot his 12 year-old sister in the head. That was more shocking than anything else though.


So yeah. Lots of death!

Let`s face it going to a funeral IS about you.
Everyones grieving possess is different , whether one goes out of love, respect,
family or professional obligation , in the end it`s still about the individual.
The deceased dose`n give a shit, their dead, nothing your going to do for them.

Grief is a basically self centered emotion,always has been, you don`t really grieve for what is lost, you grieve for you for loosing it .

Let`s hear it for the Irish for putting the FUN in FUNeral

Do you know someone who DOSE like dead people?
If so would advise to avoid them, a lot. Unless they happen to be
undertakers, which is OK, but still creepy. :D

I go to funerals every chance I get. Not because I'm Gothic, but because I can get out of school that way. Last funeral I went to was...my Uncle's last year. I didn't hang around inside for too long (too much crying); I went outside and played make-believe with all the other 15 year-olds :p

I just don't get sad at funerals (unless they're for my pets, then I go crazy with grief). I'm not really capable of human sympathy, but I'll cry for days over a sick pet story. I won't cry for a family death such as an uncle or grandparent, but I'll feel awful about a 1 day-old baby gerbil death forever.

My funeral....I want it to be unusual. I definitely want to be cremated in my beloved furisode kimono, and I think I want the song "Gone with the Sin" (HIM), "Hello" (Evanescence) or "Feel so Free" (Ivy) to be played at my funeral.
Like Wolfpac, I want people to be happy at my funeral, not just stand around and mourn. I want people to remember that I'm in the Summerlands and enjoying my eternal happiness, and that the time I had on this mortal coil was great and should be celebrated instead of crying over my loss. Wear the most gaudy and phosphorescent clothes you can find at the Goodwill, we're havin' nachos!
Always remember: "funeral" is an anagram for "real fun".

I hope the afterlife is like Grim Fandango

I may become an organ doner assuming stem cell therapy doesn't fall through until then. Any remaining bits of me I'd like to have cremated. I'd like the ashes to be split into thirds. One third I'd like to be dumped into Lake Ontario. The next third into the wind high up in the Andes, and the remaining third into the soil of a vegetable garden, or at least a bag of fertilizer. So yeah, something nice and sickingly sentimental.

I don't really care much about the ceremony. I believe the funeral should be for the people who loved me and however they would like to expell their grief. I'm gone forever, what do I care what happens there? However, I'd like Adagio Assai by Ravel or Clair de Lune by Debussy to be played by a live orchestra at my funeral. Those pieces convey rememberance and letting go to me. Go Impressionism.

Of course, from here and until the time to start pitting this together, my plans will probably change.

Yeah, a friend of mine wants to be, whats it called....Uh one of those people who cut up the dead. She says it would be interesting to see what death does to organs. Yuck!

I beleive you mean a 'coroner'.

That actually seems like an interesting job. However, since I don't think I have the stomach for it, it will be out of my reach.

Yeah, thats it. Couldnt remember the name....She so into dead stuff, its not funny. Her room is covered in pics of insides and other nasties. Anyways, my ma and pa went off today, cause ma's sis died of cancer. We couldnt go. :(

Maybe the terminology is different in other countries, but that's actually a Forensic Pathologist. The coroner is the judge who hears evidence about how a person died, decides on the cause of death and whether any legal proceedings are warranted.

Ugg, who would want to cut open dead people? I would faint. I get woozy just from cutting my finger.

Well thank you. :p

Ah, look what CSI has done to me. My terminology is Hollywood-influenced. Curse you Jerry Bruckheimer!

I've been to funerals for family before they are pretty sad but I'm sure it would be even worse if somebody closer to me dies like immediate family, I'm an ass I have a hard time feeling sad for people who die that I don't know I say dying is a part of living and we shouldn't spend all of our time feeling sad rather just remembering and moving on.

I've been to one service/funeral for my grandpa, and then one service for a teacher. Going to my grandpa's was terrible- I left school halfway through on a wednesday (Valentine's Day last year, at that) to go and see him before he died. It was horribly cold, a 45 minutes car ride from his church to his hometown cemetary. Having to stay at his house with my grandma and my parents was the worst part. It wouldn't of been so bad if it weren't for the constant rotation of relatives coming in and out, which just refreshed the sensation over and over again.

It'd be nice to be able to avoid funerals and arrangements and services and all other things related. But then you look inconsiderate and apathetic. So there's no real way to win.