Something damn seriously.
(I'm not sure whether this is the right place to show that thread.)
The last months I tried to resolve a special problem of mine by myself but I had to notice that I really need some help at last. 'Cause it is gonna be pretty serious. I truly feel under par to tell you that but I'm afraid, I need to. When I was about 9 years old, there was a boy who was after me, too often. He was "in love with me", as he often said to me, but the only thing he truly wanted was not me but my body. He hunted me like a prey, got me, and did things to me. The weird thing is, I really can't remember anymore, what exactly I had to experience then. It's as if somebody cut important scenes out of a movie. That is what it's like when I try to remember. But, at least, there are pictures about the environments, what it felt like, the weather, the lights, and some sounds too. Once I read about those guys who have experienced war and couldn't remember either because psychology seems to "self-defense" itself then. The reason was that those happenings was just too terrible. But their bodies still know. So I do. There are weird, mysterious things, like, that I hate to lie on my back because I kind of feel helpless then. And I hate when peoples touch me even they wanna give me only a simple hug sometimes. Whatever, the last weeks I energetically tried to get that lost story of mine. I went to every places I could remember, waiting for coming answers. But nothing happpened. Also, I often thought about tell the police about this. Well... but what can I do at last? The boy has moved to somewhere I don't know and I can't even remember the experiences to tell. And the only person who could know the full story is him. But... I guess, he'd never tell it to me or anyone he knows. Man, I need some help now... |
Well, I don't know how old the fellow-who-'hunted'-you was, but I guess you both were relatively young back then. You shouldn't take it too seriously. No offence here, it must be a bad memory, this is just my opinion.
Memories are not always the things you recall when you think of them. I, for instance, have been perfectly sure for 10 years that I know one of my classmate's name from 1st grade, until I found out that I was wrong. It comes as a small shock, I guess... First you're sure about something, and then, you have to admit that you were fooling yourself. ...Not a great example, but whatever. These fears you you explained might be the result of the thing I told above. You can't remember clearly what happened, so you started to fear the worst. You might have imagined what could have happened, and you cut yourself off from things which are related to that image. Like, when people touch you, as you said... Personally, that's a bit like me when I was younger, but you have to get over it. That simple. Maybe there's somebody else who might know something about all this. Your relatives, for example. They might remember something strange from that time. I hope I have been some help. Just don't get yourself all worked up becuase of this. |
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I guess I can offer a little explanation, what with studying psychology.
Repression is one of the mind's natural defences. Basically your mind is hiding away the memories of what happened to protect you. Sigmund Freud (the first realy psychologist, who had a lot of good ideas and a lot of crazy ideas) would have said your mind is hiding the memories to protect your from psychological harm. Being treated in that way as a child probably wouldn't do you any good, and though you would probably be able to cope with that memories now they're still repressed. At the same time I think your mind has learnt to associate experiences like lying on your back and being touched, with experiences of fear or pain. So when you lie on your back your mind thinks "Oh no! When this happened before I got afraid, so I don't want to do it now!" I guess most of that if fairly obvious, but both things are treatable. I know it can be tough, and I don't know if I would have the courage to do it myself, but you could talk to your doctor about it. Then you might be able to get help for the main problem. It doesn't mean you're crazy or anything, it's something that could happen to anyone. Whatever you decide to do I wish you all the best. I'm praying for you. |
Wow, that is interesting to know. I don't know that much about psychology.
Thank you! :) |
Yeah, I have to agree with Splat. I suggest trying to get someone to help you recover from fearing of remembering. Or fear of not being able to remember at all. I guess all you could do is tell someone about your problem that can help you, and maybe something will happen. Very much like Splat, I wish the best for you, that you won't have to go through this kind of fear any more longer. I really do.
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I also agree with the last two posts. And what Plat said about your mind repressing those memories is a very good definition.
I'd definitely try to get some professional help with this, like a doctor or a counselor. But I hope this problem of yours can get better! |
Wow, I'm sorry you had to go through that. That sounds like a repressed memory for sure. I'd seek the help of a psychologist.
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That's terrible. I really feel for you. I think getting some therapy would be good right now. While you're still relatively young. I hope you make a good recovery from this.
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*Squishes*
[I agree with all that's been said.] - Rexy |
A psychologist would definitely help. It'd be a good idea to seek help from one so this won't affect your life in the future. I'm truly sorry that you had to experience such a thing, and I hope that you recover from it as quickly as possible.
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Were you scared of him or did you just think he was a total moron?
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Are pointless questions your forte?
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Thanks to all for your kind words! :) You're very nice.
Actually, I already go to a psychologist since one and a half year- but I got a bit impatient. That's why I wondered about your thoughts about it. :) :
Beeing a kid means you're jumpy and you can get scared easily anyway, I think. |
Nope problem, Stranger's Maid. I just hope that we were all of some help.
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Sure, I hope so!
I'm just stuck (even I try really hard to remember). :) |
It should come to you someday. Just give it time, and be patient :).
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Darn, I didn't notice that thread before...
Stranger's Maid, I only can agree with all those guys. Don't get desperate because you can't remember anymore. When the time is come, you'll surely do. But it seems to need a little more. So never let yourself down! :) |
Thanks, Creepy Doc. ;) You're nice.
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