Ridding oneself of an internet stalker
 

My college/university has a forum for the incoming freshman and any current students that want to talk to them. There's this one guy that lives in my city who keeps PMing me all the time, claiming he hasn't talked to me in a long time (long time = a day in his world), and now he's saying creepy things on AIM. This guy definitely seems to be stalker material, but a simple blocking him on AIM won't do much. We'll still be going to the same small-ish school next year, so I need to find more permanent solutions.

After doing some googling, I expanded upon the idea of mentioning that I'm dusting my Richard Simmons posters. For those of you who don't know who that is, clickyclicky: www.richardsimmons.com

From now on, I'm going to relate as much of our conversations to Richard Simmons as possible. There's no way he'll be interested in talking (and who knows what else he might be interested in...) so often after I convince him that I have some sort of sick obsession with Richard. I fight creepy with creepy!

Any further suggestions or personal stalker stories would be appreciated.

Restraining Order: Bribe one of your friends testitify in court that he abused you or throw that stalking thing at the judge if it is serious enough.

Ha, I would use the weapon against him and go hardcore creepy. you like showing up at his apt a fake cut marks over your arm with the name of the stalker and you just holding a knife saying something weird like "I'll never tell!" And the smell, make sure there is a horrible putrid smell about the place. That should do the trick. That ought to do the trick. :)

Don't tell him you're into drugs in an attempt to scare him off. Loss of control for you = gain of control for him. CREEPSTER!

Ooh! Pretend to be deeply religious! And attemp to 'convert' him. Baptist Christian is a particularly intimidating denomination, as I have found in recent studies.

:)

Most simple solution is to get a friend to pull him into a dark alley and tell him on very threatning tone to leave you the F alone. That usualy works ^_^.

Haha, while I'd like to be blatantly honest to him, I'd feel too mean. And I can only be mean to people who I love but piss me off or people I just plain hate. I can't help but feel sorry for him... but I'm definitely going to take away any desire he has to talk to/be around me.

I like the religious idea, but I think he seems like the type of person to be the quiet, conservative-ish Christian type. Perhaps I'll go somewhere in the completely opposite direction and try to convert him. Well done, Kimon.

The fake cut marks idea deserves honorable mention though; it made me smile. :)

Just start by blocking him, squilly. :p

If he mentions something about it in a PM, just make something up and say you don't have the time to get on AIM anymore.

But we're going to the same school. Eckerd is small, Lukey. He'll be able to find me and I think he might be going into the same major as I am. That's why I want to make him want to stay faaaar away from me.

No, you shouldn't water it down with lies or anything. You should just face the situation and confront him with your thoughts. If he is a stalker, then he could quite possibly be defeated. If he comes back for more, the request the aid of supporting people around you.

You guys aren't fun.

"From now on, I'm going to relate as much of our conversations to Richard Simmons as possible"

That is rather amusing.

Aw, i'm glad you're taking this could-be-dangerous scenario with a pinch of salt. More people should do such things.

No, no.. I'm sure it's not a dangerous situation. I think he's just a clingy individual with an innocent kind of creepiness. More than likely, he's merely desperate for a friend in college. I just don't want to be that person.

I'm not too worried... but getting rid of him permanently would be nice.

So you'd like someone to... take care of him? In an Al Pacino kind of way? Hmm? Because Al Pacino takes care of woodland creatures in his spare time.

With the two stalker people I've had, the only way to rid of them is to be blatanly honest. If you lie they'll find out eventually(unless it's the funny arm cutty thing).

Tell me, how much do you actually know about this person? I'm not trying to criticize you, but in my experience with creepy individuals who try and be close to you and you don't want them to actually turn out to be pretty cool people once you get to know them.

If that doesn't work, then just do something that no one expects but is also weird. Not like the cutting thing or being honest, just do something random. Like make him feel like something very odd is going on, mismatch words or even make up a few of your own. In other words, become the weirdo of the class temporarily. If you do it right, he won't be able to make sense of it and thus drop the hopes of becoming close to you and back away. He may be reluctant to or come back, but just keep the engine going until you feel comfortable.

I suggest pretending to be a muslim. The bonus for that is even if it doesn't actually turn him off, you don't have to worry about him perving at you when you're wearing a hijab.

Or invite him to a pagan ritual where you indulge in a giant orgy under the stars on the vernal equinox. In a pentagram.

That.

You better not have any crazy, satanic orgies, Ambi!

The muslim thing is awesome though. If you could pull it off. She does the cutest impression of a muslim, folks. For reals.

One word: chainsaw