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-   -   Oddworld Alf's Oddysee - The my first fan fic (http://www.oddworldforums.net/showthread.php?t=12565)

Destiny Royal 07-27-2005 10:43 AM

Oddworld Alf's Oddysee - The my first fan fic
 
I draw a new fan fic here...
Alf Land - Is the mudokon in Abe's Exoddus at Good Ending...He's making tea....
Introduction
Glukkons are return...They are planning in order to reconstruct they building that Abe it has destroyed...Abe listen the notice and it is decided to start a new adventure with Alf...It still did not know the news, and therefore decided of talking with him...In a short chat Alf Accept the proposal of Abe and together starting the adventure...


I hope that there is like the introduction...Excuse for my english,but i am italian ^^

big bro boogie 07-27-2005 01:36 PM

:

Alf Land - Is the mudokon in Abe's Exoddus at Good Ending...He's making tea....
We all know Alf! HE IS TEH FAMEZ0RS LOL ^_^.
He even has an account on OWF, but he left us to find more exotic teas. Too bad. *sniff*

But anywayz, even though your English is totally mangled, I like the Intro.
Keep up.:D

Abe16 07-27-2005 02:21 PM

Same here. I like the sound of this. Please finish. :)

odd chick 07-27-2005 08:29 PM

Yeah, it sounds very interesting...I'd like to see more of this soon. ;)

Dancing Steef 07-28-2005 09:36 AM

I agree a VERY good start if you ask me and... well interessting;)

Destiny Royal 07-29-2005 07:03 AM

Thanks,i'll will to read my first chapter today

Destiny Royal 07-29-2005 10:17 AM

Chapter One
Do you know Feeco depot??It's in Abe's Exoddus,when abe it has made outside the three generates them..But Abe had still not destroyed it and therefore, the glukkon they found this brewery and, with varnish, decorations and vary, constructed a brewery called Brewery Kennels, but they had to still decide who must be the owners and of that it leave of mudokon had to take in order to savour the taste more better... Therefore made a species of "election" of all the glukkon and Rex won...
Rex is not positive(obvious if not that it was bad transaction? lolz)...He have a big cigarette,a clothes about with thousands distinguished...(Nearly like general Dirprik) an eye of glass and red...Nearly like a devil...
And the part of mudokon when created a new product is again the meat...For make all product...For example the ice-cream(ice-cream at meat please,lolz)with an appropriated machine for maked it...
Returning to Abe,it was leaving with Alf when a mudokon was leaving with Alf when that it was running, stopped it and it was lost heart to earth...
Abe talk :
"What's Happened"
"The Brewery..Terrible..."
"They have created one brewery???"
Alf it takes part
"With calm, you come to our house and it explains to us all"
And Alf make some tea for Abe,The Mudokon and at him...
"Then,what's happened???"
The mudokon,with a brought voice said :
"The glukkons they had taken to me, and they had carried to me in a new brewery called Brewery Kennels, I put fear and I did not know that they were planning...Therefore i listen and I saw that it had been planned with our meat and to make some of all the products...."
"It's very terrible...Alf,what we make?"
Alf : "I don't know..."
Abe : "....Allucinated..."
Alf : "IDEA!"
Abe : "What??"
Alf : "Let's go to return to mosaic lines..The sacred mudokon will help to us...."
Abe : "But it's not dangerous???"
Alf : "No,the repture farms is destroyed,and the sligs are not present in stockyard"
Abe : "Yeah but one will not never know if there are still..."
Alf : "And that ce it imports some?We can always exceed them, those are idiot..."
Abe : "You have reason,i have start with you tomorrow,now it's late"
Alf : "Yeah,good night Abe"
Abe : "Good Night"
*End of the chapter one*

odd chick 07-29-2005 07:30 PM

Hey, I see that you've worked on your story some more. ;) I found parts of it to be kinda hard to read at times, but I understood what was going on for the most part, so it's ok. ;) I like how you described Rex's features and personality-that was good as well. :) Keep working at it-the concept is pretty interesting. :)

Destiny Royal 07-30-2005 09:30 AM

Chapter Two tomorrow...I wait comments :)