Fireworks are for pussies. It better blow up!
Whats with Wisconsin and the U.S. in general with overly harsh fire"works" laws? You actually need to buy a 2 dollar permit to possess class C fireworks for the 4th and Labor Day period. Its ridiculous. And to top it off, most little kids will never have the joy of getting the hardcore stuff. I mean the old skool, shake the old dishwasher and crack the johns FIRECRACKERS. Now, the stuff that you have to go out and actively look for is even safer than the things that my grandpa and dad had fun with. Carp annihilating, ear-drum rupturing implements of good friendly violent fun have been replaced with pansy shit like sparklers, snakes, and smoke bombs. One last thing. Smoke "bomb?" Sheeyit, smoke bombs don't even make noise much less blow up.
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At least people there can do it with permission. In the county that I live in, it's completely unallowed to my knowledge. Of course, that doesn't stop anyone though, so meh.
Humph, I loves me some sparklers anyway. |
Why? Why people are done with them they chuck 'em on the grass. Then you walk by, and you're not wearing shoes because its 90 degrees out and 10 at night. Blam, big fat burn or 2 right on your feet.
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Ah, you see in England we're intelligent and put the used sparklers in a bucket of sand. Thus preventing anyone stupid enough to not wear shoes outside from getting burned.
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Sparklers are mildly entertaining when lit in mass, at least.
Now anyways, good ol' fireworks. Where I live, they're not allowed within city limits. This has never been a problem, however, as my family and I always journey to my grandparents house on the 4th. They're still illegal there, but it's more of a small town place, and I don't recall ever hearing of any busts. The point of fireworks, though, is to use them in stupid and/or unintended matters. Such as the time I emptied a saturn missle battery, stacked all the rockets in a log cabin fashion, and started a fire in the middle. T'was a damn good time. Any rockets that ignited flew off in random directions, bringing back danger to the long lost past time of playing with explosives. |
Most fireworks are legal in the UK. Even if kids aren't allowed to get them nothing is done about children running around with fireworks. Then they go and put them through old peoples letterboxes and attack firefighters with them. So even though we have good sparkler disposal systems (sand and water, learn you yanks, learn!) our laws leave a lot to be desired in the protection of the public.
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See, sparklers are just too much work for too little payoff. And I agree with Majic, fireworks rules are made to be broken.
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Am gonna need a licence to take a dump weighing more than 20 grams soon enough... |
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