funny jokes
 

hey guy's any of you got some wicked joke's I have a funny one

why coulden't the pirate play cards


because he was sitting on the deck LOL

Q. Why wasn't that joke funny?

A. Because it wasn't.

what do you mean it's not funny

but here's another one

why can't cats use a computer

because they keep chasing the mouse

Well, you are only 12 and these jokes are very childish. Why don't you post these jokes on a forum with other young children? I'm sure they'll enjoy them a lot more than we do.
To me, these jokes aren't even remotely funny and I don't think others will find them particularly amusing either.

well can you gimme some if not I will find some other young users on this forum

but I know one that is quite stupid and adult like

news flash a helicopter has crashed in ireland in a graveyard over 3'000 body's were found

WOW! These are hillarious...
...
...
Q. What do you call this thread?
A. A joke.

EDIT - My joke was so bad I deleted it.

ok that is stupid

sorry got rid of it thought it might be offensive to others

and soulstice why did you change you'r avatar you other one is better

Um.......because Desperate Housewives is my favourite show.

oh right sorry don't watch stuff like that I just love little britain

anyway on with the topic what do you think of that picture I said about

Ergh....I can't stand Little Britain.

my mum hates it aswell I go around the house doing impresions of andy
got any jokes my brain is empty

Desperate Housewives? Little Britain? Psht... Seinfeld for me!

joke:
Yo mama so old, someone asked her to act her age and she died.

I have some very funny jokes, but most of them are extremely offensive. I don't really know any funny mild-mannered jokes.

Post them anyway. Death to the under 13's!

Yeah post them. We don't have enough offensive jokes around here.

You guys are cool with racist jokes and stuff?

Actually, I have a sex joke that I thought was funny. But just for censcorship, I'll use italicized words in place of harsh language. (For the lil 'uns).

Ok, so a kid heard about female organs at his school and when he came home he asked his dad, "Daddy, what's a female organ look like?" His dad replied, "Well son, before sex it looks like a beautiful red flower blooming on a bright spring day." So the kid thought about that and said, "Well, what does it look like after sex?" So the father strokes his beard for a minute, thinking about how to describe it to his son. Finally he looks up and says, "Well, have you ever seen a bulldog eat mayonnaise?"

End of joke.

i've got plenty of rude jokes, i only say them becuase they are funny. are we aloud to say blond jokes? if not, don't read ahead. the joke is lame, but it's a start.
a bunch of blonds and a brunette or swinging on a rope, they see that the rope is about to break due to the load it is carrying. the brunette asks the blonds to jump off but they are silent, so the brunette sighs and annousence that she will jump off. the blonds all clap and fall off.
end of joke.

I don't get it.

This one is my all-time favourite joke:

Q: What does a mathematician do when he's constipated?
A: He works it out with a pencil.


I learnt that one from a rabbi...

That was even funnier than the joke! :goof:

Well, i really hate pedophile-jokes. They aren't funny, they are just sick.

Anyway, here's a blonde-joke. Maybe some of you might think it's dirty, but oh well...

Q: How do you brake a blondes nose?

Q: Stick a penis under a glass-table.

I did a thread exactly like this.

Q: How can you keep a blonde busy forever?

A: Put her in a circular room, and tell her there's a vibrator in the corner.



Q: A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are fed up with life. So they decide to commit suicide together. They all jump off a high building, at the same time. The blonde weighs 65 kg, the brunette weighs 60, and the redhead weighs 70. If you look at weight, and gravity, who will be splattered last?




Come on, you're not THAT bad at math, right?








A: The blonde, she has to ask the way...



Q: So, if a crocodile and a hare would have a contest who's in bed first, who would win?

A: The hare, it only needs to brush 2 teeth.

ok this is getting out of hand I tell some of these to my friends in school tomorow

heres one it's a picture with a man in a hospital bed with glasses looking shocked and a nurse it holding his testicles in her hand and the doctor says I thought I said to slowly slip off his specticles

*points to stupid shit thread with mean glance*

well have you got any jokes

I don't know how jokey this is, but I wanted to say.

Q. What did the five fingers say to face? :p

I have a joke it kind of sux though but here it is any way.

Get a jar filled with beer a jar filled with smoke a jar filled with sperm and a jar filled with soil. Put a worm in eahc of the jars. In the mornign you will see the one in the jar with smoke. Dead. The worm in the Beer.Dead. The one in the Semen. Dead. The one in the soild . ALIVE. Lesson learned is that Drinking, smokingAnd sex kills Worms. Yes i know it isn't that great.

If they ALL jump off the building at the SAME TIME then the blonde jumped with the others, therefore she would've landed at the same time as anyone else. Gravity doesn't care if you don't know which way is up or down. :nonono:

Chinese Proverbs:

Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.
Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
Crowded elevator smell different to midget and children.

Ummm... it wasn't a pedophile joke. I said I'd censor the language so as to not offend the children.

Hehe, Dino that last one was good.