vykers labs
heres my story ive been making
Chapter 1 "hey.....HEY!!! Mikey!!!" "yeah...what?" "come look at this new formule i made!" "yeah yeah ok.." *mikey walks over to louie* "ok look at this" *louie is about to poor the formule on a fuzzle* *BAM!!! a intern comes flying through the door* "aghghhh!!!" *louie drops the formule on mikey* "ahhhhhhhhhhh louie you fool" aginisenly screams mikey *mikey runs into the bathroom* "GOD DAMIT!!!!....WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT!!!!* yells louie *louie points at the shocked intern* "muahmwomemomema" murmers the intern "oh fer crine out loud!" *louie rips out the stiches on the intern* "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH........" screams the intern *blood drops from the interns lips* "oh get over it you baby..." "eh...ah......hm.....MUDUKONS!!!!!!!!!!!!" the crazed intern screams out so should i keep on going??? |
i like your stlye of writing and the story. it sounds good so far, continue please.
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thank you the next one will be here soon :)
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your welcome GD!
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CHAPTER 2
"oh no oh no oh no MIKEY GET OUT HERE!" panicly says louie *mikey stumbles out* "ehhhhhhhg" moans mikey "OH MY GOD YOU HAVE BIG BLUE PUSS BALLS ON YOUR SKIN!!!" screams louie *mikey passes out* "oh fer F*&%'s sake!" *uhhhh sir hurry up follow me.." mumbles the intern *they both run out of the room* *the mudukons run into the office* "heeeeeey look at that vyker on the floor....i bet him and his buddies have been testing on these fuzzles!" "no please...spare me!" pleads mikey *the mud points the spooce bow and mikey,s head* SPCHOO "ok lets free these fuzzles and get that other vyker!" yells a mudukon should i still continue? |
woy, these vykers can be from muchs oddesy. i mean that they are so much like the real vykers, it's great! and i think it's great looking in the industralists view. keep going please!
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THANKS MUDLING il keep going then ;)
CHAPTER 3 *mudukons run out through the main door with fuzzles close behind them* "oh god were do we hide!!!"says louie "hmmmmmm let me think"says the intern "I DONT PAY YOU TO THINK!!!"screams louie *the mudukons spot them* "hey i gotta clear shot.."whispers a mudukon "well.....take him out!" SPCHOO *A spooce shot go,s right through the interns head and blood sprays on louie* *louie drops on the floor with the intern and pretends to be dead* "COOOOOOOOOOL two in one shot!"yells a mudukon "ok lets get his body and take his body to the head gluckon and show him we mean buisness!" "cool!" "yeah!" |
wow, this story is good! keep going, you realy have made the characters exactly as they are supposed to be, good job!
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thank you
chapter 4 *the mudukons drag the body into the big cheeses office* "heres your most trusted vyker.....dead" says a mudukon "hehehehehe....hes not dead.....chump" laughs the gluckon "WHA!!!" crys a mudukon *the vyker got up and cut his leg with his sawbone then retreated behind the gluckons desk* "hehehehehehe....GET EM!!!!!" yells the gluckon *just then a group of sligs came shammering through the door* "hehehehe now we got ya you trouble making mudukons!" "eeeeeeeeeeeh"*the mudukon looks behind the sligs*"bo kay" "HUH....why are you so calm....." BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM to be continued |
chapter 5
*the sligs turned around in schock* "oh my.." BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM *the snoozer blew a enother line of sligs away* ''WHATS CONTOLLING THIS THING" BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM *there was only one slig left* *a mudukon walked up to the slig pulled of its mask and spat on its face* "com on..kill me!"ordered the slig "heh we dont take orders...GET HIM BOYS" *a whole bunch of tomahawkers started beating the slig* "hehehehehe....huh...HEY GUYS THE VYKER AND THE GLUCKON ARE GON!!!" *the snoozi the group of mudarchers and the tmahawkers ran out of the room looking for them* |
Cool story The Big Cheese! Please continue.
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thanks i will :)
"were is he?" wailed a mudukon "hmmmmm i have a fealing he will find us before we find him" said themudukon cheif "well thats reasurring"moanned a mudukon *the snoozer went offline* "huh....cheif the snoozer went offline...." "OH NO.......abe!" *the mudukons start running to the are were abe last was* "were is he....weres ABE!!!!!" yelled a group of mudukons "oh my god....look sir....blood marks" groaned a mudukon "*sigh*...well lets follow it" said the cheif what a twist eh :P |
CHAPTER 7
*the mudukons arive were the bloodstains end* "eeeeeeeh....cheif" "yes what is it?" "well....take a look up there" *they see the vyker that escaped about to start testing on abe* "we gotta get there quickly!"yelled the cheif "NOT SO FAST!" yelled a mysterious face behind a shadow "boys.....GET EM!!!" screamed the voice "AHG...i know that voice....General Dripik!" "hehehehe its true...his is my new barracks...and you little worms are gonna be the first deaths!" said General Dripik "HELP HELP" yelled abe "ok we split up tomahawkers get abe the rest stay here and fight!" "YEAH!!!"chanted the mudukons |
there is an edit button, ya know?
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That's a great story! Keep it up!
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CHAPTER 8
*the tomahawkers run up to get abe when* "not so fast..." whispers the vyker "heh..what are ya gonna do huh....get outta our way" yelled a tomahawker *the vyker pulls out his sawbones* "uh oh" .....::::meanwhile::::..... "GET EM GET EM!!!"yelled the general *a couple big bro sligs come walking out* "oh oh were in trouble..." |
Cool, this story must have the most short chapters I have ever seen...
Dude, if you write a story, write it as a story... your writing this like an RPG. Do us all a favor and go learn some more about writing before you attempt anything like this again... reading this hurts my eye's >_> |
well no one else has complained :P
and its like a new style <_<.....>_> the next one will be in soon its gonna be a big chapter |
Good job so far. When is the next chapter coming?
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about 2 days its gonna have a great fight a death and a twist DUN DUN DUUUUUN
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That sounds good, can't wait 'til it's out.
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Very nice! I wonder whats to become of Abe and the other muds!
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ok here it is....
CHAPTER 9 "and if you think thats all i got....." *the sawbones vyker puts on armour* "THINK AGAIN..." "we dont care for your stupid armour or your pathetic sawbones cause were MUDUKONS....GO BEAT HIM UP!" "YEAH!!...YEAH!!.."yell the mudukons "hehehehe pathetic" smirks the vyker *the vyker cuts of the charging mudukons head* "NOOOOOOOOOO!" yells abe *the vyker takes 3 more slashes and more of abes brothers fall to the ground* "i got to.....i got to.." whispers abe "EAAHHHHHHHHHHHH" *enother of abes brothers fall* " I HAVE TO!!!" *abe starts chanting* "egh..i cant!" "abe....do...do..it..for....us..." *the mudukon gasp and falls* "i will....I WILL!!!!" *Abe chants up a posses ball and posses the vyker* "this is for you...."whispers abe *the vyker starts walking down till he reaches the big bro slig* "THIS IS FOR MY BROTHERS!!!!!!!" *abe slices up the big bro till it dies* *the mudukons look in shock* *the vyker turs around* "dont worry guys its me.....abe" *but thats not what the mudukons were staring at,the other big bro slig had made it up to abe* "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO" yell the mudukons "he he he its allreadey to late!" mutters the big bro slig *the big bro slig picks up abe and throws him into a meat grinder* "there go,s your little freind" says the big bro slig "HEHEHEHE...youll get a promotion for this" laughs the gluckon "yeah..and now im not possesed" says the vyker "...abe...we need you" says a mudukon TO BE CONTINUED! |
I can't make out what the hell your saying. Use word, and get a grammar and spell checker. And if Abe dies, his possessed host dies too.... The only people who are giving you good feedback, are either idiots, noobs, or they're just trying their best to be friendly. Seriously...
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yeah but how do you know abe is dead!?
look i dont care if you dont like it or you do i just like writing and this is a place were i can put it. |
i think The big cheeses writing is good and no one should insult other people's abilities. at least he can write and no one is perfect.
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thankyou mudling
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Exactly, i like the writing! Please write more, I'm dying!
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lol the next chapter will be in,in a little while
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I can't wait!
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