The unknown zone
This is a fan fic I made a few days ago. The unknown zone:
My name is Qued, I'm a slig and I work in "Chop industries". Once, Abe, the terrorist mastermind got through our defense forces and tried to posses me. I ran to turn on the alarm, but then I remembered that I can't reach it. After several seconds, Abe shot the possesion thingie at me, and a big bro slig came and jumped above me, it was Fod, my partner. Abe possesed him and tried to shoot me with the blitz packer, I ran away to the elevator, and for my luck, there were 3 sligs: Commander Xez, Slig #7882 & Slig #7883. They ran to Abe, but he wasn't there. Xez said: "He can be anywhere. 7882, search there, and 7883, sear..." Suddenly an alarm was heard, and the location of Abe was marked on my LCD map. We ran to the marked location and saw some dead sligs, we heard some sounds above us. We got there trough the elevator, and no one was there, we understood that we were wrong, and we came to the floor below. Abe was holding the ceiling, Xez aimed at Abe, but the gun was too heavy, and Xez couldn't shoot Abe. Abe escaped from "Chop industries" with all of our mudokon workers. I got back to my guarding position and saw that Fod didn't exploded, but he was hardly breathing. I asked him: "Are you ok?", He didn't answer, he just looked at all the blood on the walls. Few days after this, Fod was already cured. Me, Fod & Xez started a secret operation to kill Abe. To be continued... |
I liked it! I like how it shows that sligs are not just killing machines and they can actually protect each other (hence the part where Fod jumps over Qued and is possessed instead of Qued). It shows sligs in a different perspective.
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I don't know how I made it up, but here's the continue:
Sage, the factory manager, got really angry about Abe. He sent me, Xez, Fod, KSF #05 & KSF #06 to go to the desert and set there 20 tons of explosives (the desert was near the mudokon village). In case you don't know, KSF means Killing Slig Forces , they are the most toughest sligs in our army, and if we'll do something wrong, they will kill us. We flied to the desert with my jetcopter, when KSF #05 said: "Here it is. Code 550456.", but I didn't understood him. Then he said: "Land here, you moron!", I landed and we were setting the explosives. I tought: "Now is our only chance to get to the mudokon village.", I told it to Fod & Xez, and Xez said: "We can't do that while the KSFs are here, we have to think about a plan.". After 2 hours. We are still setting the explosives, then KSF #06 said: "I wanna go to the bathroom...". But there was no toilet in the desert, but there was a small pond. He went to piss there. When he entered the water, water was hitting he's pants, and they now useless. KSF #05 went to help him, and the same thing happend. They were yelling: "MOOOOOMMMMMMMMMYYYYYYY!!!", and we were laughing at them. Now we have a chance to get to the mudokon village. To be continued... |
wahhaa:p
i like it , i like it very much!! |
Ha ha ha! I like it too. Although there were a few grammer errors, they were very minor. Sligs and short-circuiting pants! Now THAT was really funny!! :D
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I know, I do have grammar errors (you can see that by my location), but try to ignore them. Another thing: you don't know why I named it "The unknown zone", but you'll know it soon. Tim, I guess you don't care about my errors coz you are also not a "English master", but I promise, you'll like this part even better:
We went to the mudokon village, when we saw a huge scrab herd. Between the scrabs, I saw a scrab I already seen before... it was Mouv, the scrab who was in 'THE BIG CAGE', and we almost chop'd'em. I had no idea how did he escaped, I said: "isn't it Mouv?!", Fod said: "Nah, I don't think so... who's Mouv?". Xez looked a little closer, and said: "Yes it is, I was at the choping room when Sage wanted to chop'em.". Mouv heard him, looked at us, howled a bit, and all the herd ran after us. We tried to escape at to jetcopter, where KSF #5 & #6 were still yelling: "MOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMYYYYY!!!". I entered the jetcopter, turned on some switches, but the jetcopter didn't flew. We ran s'more till we got to the mudokon village, the scrabs broke everything... well, at least until the mudarchers & tomahawkers came. They shot the scrabs, and the scrabs ran away back to the desert. The muds looked at us and took us to the village king, Bun. As his name, he was really fat, and really stupid, he asked us: "have you done that?", Xez tought a bit, and answered: "nope.". Bun said: "Ok, you can go.", we went outside of the mudokon village. One of the mudarchers shot me in the butt, I got angry and aimed my gun to the mudarchers and asked: "Who did it?". One stupid mudokon waved the hand and said: "Me! me! me!". I shot him in the face, at least he will shut up forever. KSF #5 & #6 disconnected off the pants, and got really mad about us. They turned on the explosives and crawled to Chop industries. We decided to get back later to the mud village. Now it's 1:34 AM, and we're still walking in the desert. at 3:00 AM, I could see Chop industries, then I tought that KSF #5 & #6 already told to Sage that we laughed at them. I opened my LCD rule book in my watch, and I saw: -------------------------------- Rule 1998275B - Trashing in the offices area Punishment: Jail for 2 years Rule 4773282Y - Saying bad words about Sage, Ord, Hardstick or Breakfast. Punishment: Jail for 6 years + 5 rubber bullets in the back Rule 7784212H - Laughing at Killing Slig Forces Punishment: Death <- previous page - next page -> -------------------------------- I told to Fod & Xez: "Maybe we shouldn't go back." Fod asked: "Why?" "Look at this", I said and showed him my LCD rule book. To be continued... This is a long one, isn't it?! |
I thought the part where one of the mudarchers shot him in the butt was funny! And I don't care about the grammer errors-I just notice little things like that :p. You should see some of my friends' grammer errors and how they spell-and they're Americans! Your errors are almost nonexistant compared to some of theirs! :D
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Oddude, if you don't mind I'm going to put all of this in the thread on 'Joe & Gramps' Forums, as you never replied to it :fuzsad:
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as I never replied to what?
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i dont care about the grammer errors bechause i make some big ones myself:)
i like this second chapter!!:p!! |
Hey! When are you going to put up another chapter? I like this story because it's really funny!! :)
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Right about.... NOW:
Fod & Xez looked a little, and said: "You're right, we shouldn't go back there.". We lived 2 days in the desert. In the 2nd night we heard a big BOOOOMMMM!!!!!!!, we understood, KSF #5 & #6 turned on the explosives, but we didn't worry, because the explosion didn't got us. We woke up tomorrow morning, and saw a black gas flying all over the place and killing a lot of wildlife creatures. Suddenly my radio in my computer-watch turned on, and we heard Ord, Chop industries incoming & outgoing manager, says: "Everyone! Go quickly to THE ****IN' PLAT CITY AIRPORT!!!!!!!" We understood, they're moving, I said to Fod & Xez: "We have to think of a plan, how to get outta here.". Xez tought a little, and said: "We should get in to one of the planes.". About a few hours we tought of a plan, till we had one. At the night before moving, we came to the airport and ran to a big hole in the ground, we falled for about 2 seconds, we built a quick elevator and moved up till we could see the guards, I took Fod's drill gun (it's a gun shooting drills), and shot the guards. One of them died, but the other one was still alive. I tried to shoot him, but the gun was broken. The guard shot Fod, and died. Fod falled on the floor of the elevator, he said: "You... you...... YOU BROKE MY GUN!!!". He got up and came with us. We came in one of the cargo planes, and accidently all three of us falled in a box. We decided to stay there till the moving. At the morning, all the planes flew away to 'The unknown zone'. We landed and ran away from there. Sage, Ord, Hardstick, Breakfast & the industrials built 4 new factories in 'The unknown zone': Chop industries 2 Boom factory The weaponry Greeter line And this what was in my LCD computer-watch: -------------------------------- Chop industries Status: CLOSED Manager: NONE Chop industries 2 Status: starter Manager: Sage Boom factory Status: starter Manager: Ord The weaponry Status: starter Manager: Hardstick Greeter line Status: starter Manager: Breakfast -------------------------------- Now we're ready for a new life. To be continued... |
That chapter was fantastic!! (as usual hahaha!) :) Keep 'em comin' Oddude! ;)
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I still have to think of it, but I can say only one thing:
There would be some creatures from the thread "Creature creation". |
Well, this chapter would be perfect, or as I say, 'purfect':
New creatures of this chapter: Gamet, We lived in a forest about a month. At the last day of the month we saw a creature coming down from the sky. It was a Gamet, he came right to us, and asked in scary voice: "What are you doing here???". We were totally afraid, but finally I answered: "Nothing.". Fod said me quietlly: "Smart move, wiseguy.". The Gamet said: "C'mon, I know what you doing here, just say it.". Xez said: "If you're so smart, then tell us exactly what we're doin' here.". The Gamet got mad and kicked Xez away, I think he flew about 200 meters. He brought us to his castle in the sky, and putted us in a cage. He said: "If you wont do everything I want, I'll kill you!!!". We had no choice, he was a god!!! So we did everything he wanted, till the day came when he told us to stop and said: "That's it, you did enough, and now I'm sending you to freedom!!!". Fod asked: "Where is it???". "Where's what???", the Gamet asked Fod. Fod got angry and shouted: "Where is the ****ing freedom???". The Gamet didn't answer, and gave us time to go. Of course we went out, but we couldn't find a way down. The Gamet understood, did some motions with he's hands, and a jetcopter appeared, we came to the jetcopter and flew away to the forest. Sage sent KSF #5 & #6 to kill us. They knew exactly where we are, they came to the forest and got closer to us each second. Finally, they saw us and tried to shoot us, Fod took he's second drill gun and shot KSF #6. KSF #6 is no more, but KSF #5 kept running after us, he took he's gun and started to shoot us. To be continued... |
The Gamet was really interesting in that chapter! He has a lot of power and he shouldn't be angered! :D Keep 'em coming! ;)
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