Funniest thing happen to you?
 

Walking into a wall because of day dreaming....

Stepping into dog shit....

Peter swearing at the teacher....

(My name is Matthew) Some-one with a wrong number called my house and is like,"Yo Sean! Sup Dog!"
I said, "Sorry, you have the wrong number."
Then he relpied, "Quit ****ing around Sean! You pulled that on me yesterday! Anyway, I just got back from Britany's! Owwwwwww! Let me tell ya... that girl's got...."
"Ummm..........I think you might be thinking I'm someone else. You have the wrong number."
"Shut-up man! Quit playing around!"
Anyway, this went on forever-this guy thinking I'm Sean and finally I said, "Listen, I'm not Sean, so leave me alone, okay!!!"
He actually got really embaressed and appologized to me then hung up abruptly. That was a wierd experience that makes everybody I know laugh! :lol:


-oddguy :fuzcool:

I fell off a giant lizard at the mall.

I had two bees in my shirt. At once.

For some reason, whenever I'm making fun of a teacher they always end up right behind me. Listening. Always.

A hamster went up my pants.



My friends have also had some weird experiences...

My friend Matt was de-pantsed in the hallway three times in just five minutes.

Graydon was sitting behind me in English class, and trying really hard to pull my chair towards him. He was really straining, and ended up...passing gas. Very loudly.



There are countless other strange experiences I've...um...experienced. But I can't remember them, so leave me alone.

Okay, my last story wasn't so funny, but I just remembered this one!

My sister was in kickboxing class, and her and the instructor were mongolian wrestling. In order to win, you have to pin the person on the ground; back flat and both arms and legs pinned. Anyway, the instructor was having a rough time pinning my sister. He had her on the ground with her back flat and her arms pinned, but he couldn't pin her legs because they were tucked into her chest. He was trying to pry them apart and pin them whilst holding her arms down mind you, so he was kind of trying to loosen them by burrowing his head between them and pinning them with his knees. Okay, the instructor is allready making a fool of himself in front of all his students, but he wasn't prepared for what was coming next. Anyway, while wrestling, both my sister and the instuctor were breathing hard and groaning.......then the instructor screams, "Open up your legs allready, women!" Well, the timeing couldn't have been more perfect, because right as he said this, my Dad walked into the studio to pick us up and drive us home! :lol: Yeah, mr. instructor guy had a hard time explaining what happened!:D

*Giggles*


Well, this one is about my old work... basically we always recognise regular customers... there was always this one guy that came in, he'd order the same thing all the time and always had this big book with him (always holding it). Anyway the first time I came I across him I realised this: when he comes to the till, he lays this big fat book across the counter very visibly, and in big bold text the title read 'ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS.'

He did this every week. I thought it was just me, but I realised almost everyone who worked there noticed too. So much for being anonymous!

Whenever I'm doing something I shouldn't be doing, or doing something completely stupid at School, a teacher always ends up next to me. I don't realise this of course, and I continue on with what I'm doing for as long as I want to, or a Teacher interupts...

The runnings total is, if I recall correctly 33 occurences. I'll have to ask Andrew tomorrow to make sure what the real total is, though I'm pretty sure it was in the lower thirties.

Alcar...

I made a Fat person believe i loved him...that was hilarious...

I have also insulted people...

That's not funny as much as it is cruel! :crying:

It's funny...he said -

"I thought you loved me? You said you loved me..."

and i was, like -

"You know how shallow, superficial and spiteful i am...how could you think i could love a overweight, disillusioned thing like you?"

That's so mean! (But also funny!):lol: Did you feel bad after you did this? And, did he try to sit on you as a way of killing you?

Well... The only thing I can remember is the time when my best friend, mooned at a police patrol car. It was a real blast, I laughed so hard that I almost choked to my own spit. The fun didn't last for long, though, when we both got a fine.
But it was worth it...

*sigh*

One of my friends and I were going to the movies. When we got in there, we saw some guys who we hated from school. The place was pretty full but most were at the front but me, my friend and our enemies were at the back. Halfway through the movie, my friend stood up and mooned them. I laughed so hard that spilt popcorn all over the floor. We were chucked out though for "causing a nuisance". That was so damn funny. :D

(1) - Yes, but that was because i called it off too early and i probably could have gotten more drinks out of him...still, his face was hilarious...

(2) - No, he threatened me with something...i didn't quite comprehend it though, the flab underneathe his chin hindered his speech so all i got was "Blag-Blah-Blarg-Blaahhhgggrrrr"

A few years ago I was over at a friends condo that was overlooking a golf course. We were sitting on the patio sippin a couple of cold ones when we observed a bunch of kids playing around the pathway which led up to a small lake on the 4th fairway. No one was on the course at the time and the kids were just skipping stones and having a good time. Then a security guard pulls up in his golf cart and starts to tell the kids to leave. Well the kids didn't make it easy on the guard so he started to chase them. That's when the brake must have come off of the cart which was parked at the end of the path that faced the water on a fairly steep slope. Were watching this guy chase these kids around while his golfcart slowly rolls off the edge of the path down into the lake. by the time it stopped all you could see was the white canopy top sticking out of the water. Man that guard was really pissed off and the kids were really giving him a hard time....me an my buddy were falling about the place laughing our A** off ! They had to call the gounds keeper to come and pull that thing out with a truck......:fuzgrin: ..guess you had to be there...but was really funny:D

The first one happens to my friend Garry all the time.
The second one also happens a lot, but it's more embarrasing when the hamster relives itself while still inside your clothes!

As for me...

Failing ever time I try to show off at anything.

Making people realy angry/upset at me without trying. (Not as much fun as it sounds!)

My face goes red evertime I answer a question a teacher asks correctly.

man thats funny.

I once got a detention for shouting out "YOU STUPID BERK!" at the top of my lungs to a friend.

I end up late to School 15 minutes every day. I guess my homeroom class expects me to turn up late now... What's funnier is the daily battle of avoiding teachers putting you on detention for being late.

Alcar...

Whats the funniest thing that ever happened to me you ask? well it just happened about 2 minutes ago... I had just poured my guts out for the thread "Puss died" I just mayed it perfect the design, the text EVERYTHING! and then what should happen on my old crappy computer... IT FROZE!!!!! and I had to restart the computer! Now thats not funny to me but I'm sure your all laughing your little heads off!! :rant: I know why don't I just jump out the window?!?! Then everything will be just fine and dandy for everyone!!!!

What a poor soul! :crying: Can't you guys see paramud's cry for help?! He clearly has a problem. I see him make fun of himself all the time, so it's easy for others to do the same. I saw a pic request thread where paramud showed a pic of himself and said, "I'm not fat...I'm big boned." Someone else responded, "Big boned, yes.....Fat, no! :lol:" Characteristics like this eventually lead to suicide unless a life dramatic life change takes place.
Don't make fun of yourself Paramud.....we like you!:fuzgrin:

-oddguy:fuzcool:

Hmmmm... Spending lunch with friends at school there was this yoghurt tub on the ground. My mate looked at me and asked "is this yours?" I said no. Obviously trying to be cool he stepped on it thinking it was empty (who throws away a full yoghurt) and there happened to be a hole in it. The yoghurt spurted all way up his pants.

At the Royal Adelaide Show (like an annual theme park that comes to town) we all bought rubber masks. Exiting the stall I walked straight into a telephone pole as soon as i put the mask on. And fell flat on my back. Everyone laughed (max 500 people) and I could only laugh as I walked off coz at least they didn't know who i was.

You have to be there...

right you like me yep right thats what you want me to think!
but then some other time after a celebration with me and all you oh you accedentaly forget your wallats in your other pants but who has his wallat.. ME!!! and i'm left paying for all the
food! :flames: :mad: :rant: :fuzmad:

I saw a conservative man in a suit slip up into the air and landed on his butt. On a banana peel. It was a cartoon turned into real life. He got up so quick and walking of quickly with his briefcase as if nothing had happened.

wait a sec, how could i get a DT for that? its none of my teachers business.

my friend asked me to ask this girl if she would go out with him

Hey Jacob if you are serious about that than I have lost all respect for you. As a person who is very adamant about tolerance and peoples rights that kind of behavior does nothing but hinder your cause. I hope you made that up.

Knowing Jacob, he probably didn't make it up. He has this thing against fat people and wants them to suffer.....look at the text in his sig and you'll see what I mean.

-oddguy:fuzcool:

That disgusts me.

My mother is somewhat overweight, so I have compassion to others with the same problem. It's not my mums fault either. She had four kids and she hasn't lost the weight since....even though she is on a diet and does eat very healthy.

-oddguy:fuzcool:

In 5th grade, computer lab. my friend Troy saw an ad for a game that he liked he clicked on it and was sent to a porno site, you know one of those wierd sites where... well you know any ways he tried to close it but more kept poping up so he eventually ran out yelling "I didn't mean to! I didn't mean to!" so I asked him what happened he told me I said "what type of site?" since he didn't say it was a porno he said I don't know I don't want to know

I'm actually very tolerant. I don't have anything against fat people, just fat people without confidence...its annoying. It's like "God, why don't you stop dressing so badly, get a shave and smile!! You may be fat, but it doesn't mean you have to be depressing all the time...!!". Although Dan deserved it, he had money and bought me shtuffs...

I like fat people who are jolly all the time! They're so fun!:D

Anyway....The sad thing is, most overweight people are, as you said Jacob, "without confidence" because society treats them as if they are lesser people because they have a problem. Face it, we all have problems whether we carry them on the outside or not.

-oddguy:fuzcool: yeah baby!

Being fat is my worst fear. No joke.

Shoot, this thread went through a bit of a disaster, I should have emphasised in the post the funniest thing not the best insults!

Fat people I rate pretty much the same as thin, they're no different apart from their physicality.

I feel for people with no confidence though.

Being fat, poor, a loser, paralysed and mentally disabled are my worse fears...

I dislike people with low confidence in general, especially when they try to make friends...its just like "Errr no...hush now"

I don't care what a person looks like. I don't base them off their physique, either. When I look at someone, I look at them emotionally - in the sense that I judge people on who they are.

People with low confidence however, I really don't tolerate that well. I'm more of a person to position myself with people who are confident, and are able to do things unhindered.

But, I've found that everyone has a fear. Like Josh :p

Alcar...

We're genetically programmed to go for attractive people. If you're attracted to someone you're not attracted to their emotionness...

On the first point i made it does bring up questions such as -

How the Hell do Townies breed!?

I do the same thing. That's the way it should be, but it's hard to find people like that these days. Like Jacob said, society is genetically programmed to go for attractive people.

I don't know why some people don't like you, Alcar. The more I get to know you, the more I find myself saying, "Hey, Alcar's cool!":D

-oddguy:fuzcool:

I used to be pretty fat. Not like, obese or anything, just past the point of being chubby.

I am 6'1 and weighed about 210 pounds. I am a broad shouldered guy and all...but I had a large gut and a fat ass. It was disgusting.

Then I stopped smoking marijuana, and stopped taking my paxil. This combined with the occasional cocaine/crack bender and lifting weights has left me with muscular arms and pecs, and a much lighter body. I now weigh 170. Unfortunately, because I am somewhat of an alcoholic, I have a small gut.

Luckily, it is so small that I can get away with not wearing a shirt and have a girls not become revolted.


Now, if I could only get a tan..

That may be true, and to me, people still appear attractive. But who is to say that what I find attractive is different to what you find attractive?

I'd much prefer a kind hearted person over some person without a 'heart'. Seriously, who really wants to be around people that constantly criticise you, and others?

Basically, I do find people attractive. From the picture you posted of yourself, I could easily see you were quite attractive. But your attitude, well, that's something else.

Alcar...