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Kesiah 07-29-2002 12:06 AM

The Quest for the....Can opener?
 
Abe and Munch in: The quest for the can opener!

Prologue:
*Shortly after the end of Munch’s Oddysee*

Munch hopped towards the waters edge, the last can of Gabbiar in his hands. Abe watched him go, then turned away to watch one of the fights that were developing around the rescued eggs.
*The little guy needs some time alone. * He mused, as Alf arrived with tea for the returned Muds.
The transfer of the eggs to a safer resting area continued silently, but was abruptly broken by Munch’s
piercing yell.
“ABE!!!”
The Gabbit hopped frantically back towards the surprised Muds and turned to face Abe.
“I need a can opener!” He said.
Abe blinked.
“What for Munch?”
Munch held up the precious can.
“To open this!”
Abe scratched his butt while he thought. Then he turned to the other Muds.
“Any of you guys got a can opener?”
The general round of shrugs and “No”s answers the Gabbit‘s question.
“I need a can opener Abe!” He said desperately.
Abe looked down into Munch’s huge eyes.
“Okay,” he sighed, “We’ll go look for one.”
Munch grinned, “Let’s get going.”
------------------------------

Will Abe and Munch manage to find a can opener for the Gabbiar? Will the storyline pick up more?
Lets hope so.

Please, comments are welcome.

thebomb372 07-29-2002 12:15 AM

i like how its started write more

salty pretzils 07-29-2002 06:33 AM

LOL I like it! Keep it coming please!


*picks up little flag with "will he ever find the can opener" on it and waves it *:D :fuzemb:

oddling 07-30-2002 05:07 PM

This is hilarious! "ABE!!!" "What?" "I need a can opener!" that is good!!! Wright more! "I need a can opener!" BWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LMAO!!!

Oddling l:c l

mitsur 07-30-2002 10:03 PM

Can I borrow it after them?I need to open beans to make my laughs funnier. ;)

Kesiah 07-31-2002 11:19 PM

Chapter 1: Awake the Raisin
 
Whahay! Keep the comments coming! This is a long chapter, so grab some tea on me!
-----------------------------------

Abe mooched back to Alf’s in the morning, he and Munch would be leaving today, and he wanted to have a nice calming cup of tea first.
“Hey Alfie.” He said as he entered.
Alf took one look at his expression, then pushed a cup of chamomile tea in Abe’s hand.
“Aren’t you supposed to be leavin’ with Munch?” Alf said.
“Well, yeah, but.....” Abe began, but was interrupted by Munch bouncing through the door.
“Come on Abe! Let’s go already, we haven’t got all day!” Munch said, and stood glaring up at the Mudokon until he got up. Abe gave a half-hearted wave to Alf, before the two of them left, leaving Alf to finish the tea.

Some time later........

“Abe, where are we going?” Munch asked, trying to keep up with Abe’s longer legs.
Abe glanced down at him, “To see the Raisin,” was his only answer.
Munch stopped in surprise, then had to hop quickly in order to keep up.
“Why! We can find the can opener ourselves.” He gasped at Abe. Attempting to glare at someone while hopping frantically didn’t work that well, as Munch was discovering.
“He might know somewhere where we can get one easily.” Abe replied. He sped up a little, think that the sooner this was over, the sooner he could get back. Abe knew that finding a can opener was important, but it really didn’t sound like good material for a game.....
“We’ll be there soon.” He said to Munch.
-----------------------------

Abe was aware of a constant muttering at the back of his mind. It had been going on for some time now.
It was Munch. If he listened carefully, he could just make out the words...
“mphf......stupid Muds....damn long legs......@&#% Abe with his #@*&%^ legs!”
Abe flinched and stopped, waiting for Munch to catch up. The Gabbit looked exhausted.
“You wanna take a break?” He asked.
Munch merely glared, then flopped down.
-----------------------------

“Look! It’s the Raisin’s Cave! That didn’t take that long, hey Munch?” Abe called back to the distant figure of his friend.
Munch hopped determinedly past the Mudokon into the cave, leaving Abe to follow.

The inside of the cave was dark and moist. The echoing sounds of water dropping merged with the ever present chanting and spiritual music. The over-powering feeling of awe and greatness caused Abe to walk quietly, head bowed, to stand before the dominating bulk of the Almighty Raisin. Munch hopped up beside him. Several moments passed before either of them realized that the Raisin was obviously asleep.
“Now what?” Munch asked, still annoyed at Abe for running ahead of him.
“I don’t know.” Abe said. He walked over to one of the chanting Mudokon forms and shook him gently.
“Hey, wake up.” He hissed in his ear.
Nothing.
Abe frowned and shook him harder, then poked him in the arm. “Get up!” He called, “We need your help!”
Nope.
Annoyed, Abe shoved against the Mudokon, hoping to shift him. Instead, the Mud toppled sideways and smashed into pieces on the ground.
There was a moment of shocked silence, then Abe began screaming, followed shortly by Munch. They wasted some time running around and screaming hysterically before they managed to move up to words.
“Abe! You killed him!!” Munch yelled, backing away from the homicidal Mud.
“I didn’t mean it! I’m sorry!” Abe sobbed, and began trying to piece the Mudokon back together. It didn’t work to well.
Munch hopped backward, and stumbled over a fragment of Mudokon hand. He yelped, then noticed something.
“Abe, are Muds normally made of stone?”
Abe looked up, “No. Why do’ya ask that?” he said.
Munch picked up the piece of hand and hopped over to the rest of the Mudokon.
“Cause this guy is.”
Abe looked at the Mudokon head that he held in his hand.
“Hey, you’re right!” He dropped the stone head, then walked over to the other chanting figure. “This one is a statue too.”
Munch hopped around the area before asking, “So where is that chanting coming from?”
A few more minutes of examination revealed a hidden tape player, providing the constant background music and chanting.
“So, the Raisin’s been faking this all along?” Abe said, sounding shocked.
“And he hasn’t even woken up!” Munch said in disgust.
It was true. Through the screams, the search of the cave and the breaking of statues, the Raisin had slept on.
Abe glared up at him. “That’s it! I’m gonna wake him up and demand some answers!”
-------------------------------

How will Abe wake the not-so Almighty Raisin? Will the Raisin give them a straight answer? What stupid jokes will I drag out next? Tune in for the next semi-exciting chapter!
Comments, criticism, praise, abuse, hero worship and death threats are welcome. ;)

oddling 08-01-2002 01:46 AM

Hmmmm...... I choose hero worship.*bows down*................ I LOVE YOU!!!!!! This is the best damned fan fic I ever read! It kics the crap out of mine! Keep 'em comin Kesiah! *grabs bib and fork* I'm ready for another helping of idiotic laughter now!

Oddling l:c l

salty pretzils 08-01-2002 01:24 PM

Yay! Free tea!
Hmmm *chooses praise*
This is veeeeeery good! In fact it's so good this is the only one I've ever replied to!:D :)
Purleeeeeease continue! I need laughes I'm addicted to laughter...need more...need more laughter...

Seriosly,this is the best one I've read! Keep 'em coming!

mitsur 08-01-2002 11:32 PM

*tries to hold in laughter*AAAAAAHAHAHAHGAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH*CHOKE*AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA:lol::lol:

Kesiah 08-02-2002 01:19 AM

:D!
 
Thanks for the comments guys. But I need a question answered before I post the next part:
Is it 'Ratz' for more than one and 'Rat' for singular, or is it just 'Ratz' for all the time?
helpful example!: One rat, two ratz. or one ratz, lots of ratz!
Thanks for any help.

thebomb372 08-02-2002 01:23 AM

ratz
 
it does not matter they both sound good

Kesiah 08-03-2002 01:42 AM

Chapter 2: Ratz, Ratz, Ratz....
 
Yeah! Let's try and keep this fic alive! As always, comments are more than welcome, and they make me want to write more, so don't be afriad to write me with anything that's on your mind!
Anyway here's the next dosage for you guys. :fuzcool:
----------------------------------------

Munch watched as Abe turned and ran from the cave. *Great. * He thought, *Abe’s flipped out. May as
well try to wake the stupid Raisin myself. * And so he began the tedious task of finding something to hit
the Raisin with until he woke up.
------------------------------

Abe ran back the way he and Munch had come. *I’m sure it was here somewhere. * He thought. *There! *
It has to be made clear, that for some reason unknown to most rational thinking beings, a small group of Glukkons and native Mudokons took it upon themselves to wander around the countryside and factories and install vending machines in strange and inconceivable places, but strangely, they received no
moolah
for their troubles. The Glukkons were consequently locked away for their own good, and the Mudokons disappeared into the wild.
Abe was now standing before one such vendo, marked ‘Expresso’. He took a moment to smile
evilly, just in case someone was watching, then proceeded to collect as many cans as he could carry, then headed back to the cave.
------------------------------

By the time Munch had broken his third stick from hitting the Raisin, Abe had returned. Munch frowned at the cans of Expresso, “Abe, this is no time to go through with the dare, you can do it later.”
Abe ignored him and stared up at the Raisin. “Did you manage to wake him?”
Munch rolled his eyes, “I’m getting there, but I’ve run out of sticks.”
Abe tried out his evil smile again.
“I’ve got a plan to wake him up and keep him that way.”
-----------------------------

“Are you sure this is a good idea Abe?” Munch called up. The Mudokon was now a small figure, clinging halfway up the huge form of the snoring Raisin. Abe sighed, suspended by his arms and level with one of the Raisin’s lower eyes. The climb had begun easily, but as he worked his way upwards, the Raisin’s sides had become steadily more difficult to navigate. Slowly, Abe found another toehold and heaved himself up another body length. Only a little further to go, and he would be on top of the Raisin, then he could finish what he had started. The makeshift bag holding the Expresso cans bumped against Abe’s back, a constant reminder of what might come next.
Munch bounced nervously up and down. “Come on Abe, what’s taking you so long?” He muttered to himself. Finally, the vague form of the Mudokon reached the top of the Raisin’s…..head?
Abe paused for a moment to catch his breath, then leaned forward slightly and sighted along the Raisin’s face. He reached back into his bag and withdrew a single can. Taking careful aim, Abe dropped the Expresso can right in the Raisin’s snoring mouth.
*Ok. Not much more time. * Abe thought, so he quickly began dropping all the cans he had down into the Raisin’s mouth. Then, still holding the last can, he unsealed it and chugged the contents. Immediately Abe felt a burst of caffeine affect his system, and he used the high to catapult himself down the side of the Raisin and return to Munch.
“How long do you think it will take to get to him?” Munch asked. Abe jigged on the spot, resisting the urge to run around wildly.
“Dunno. Soon I guess.” He answered.
Almost on cue, the Raisin’s eyes snapped open, staring down at the mismatched pair.
“Stitch-lips! What the @*&#% did you do to me!!”
Abe jumped in surprise, the Raisin no longer sounded like the all knowing and powerful being that he had seemed before, now he sounded like he was awake for the first time in his life.
“I, uh, well..” Abe stammered.
“Get on with it!” The Raisin snapped.
Hurriedly, Abe explained about the can, the statues, the Expresso, and can openers. The Raisin glared down at him until he stammered himself into silence.
“So you woke me up out of a decent sleep with some stupid quest for a can opener! After you broke my impressive statues, wreaked my music and forced me to drink nine cans of that stupid caffeine stuff! Why should I?!” The Raisin bellowed.
“Well, if you tell us how to get a can opener, we’ll leave you alone.” Munch said.
Abe gulped as the Raisin seemed to become even angrier then before. His rage was actually turning his skin purple! *We might have to start calling him ‘The Prune’…* he thought. But strangely, the Raisin seemed to calm down, returning to his normal shade.
“All right.” The Raisin said. “I’ll tell you how to get a can opener for your stupid can, but it won’t be easy!”
“It’s never easy…” Abe muttered, getting an elbow from Munch.
The Raisin cleared his throat, and waited for the right dramatic length before speaking.
“You will have to undertake a most dangerous journey. It will be difficult and will take you to the very limits of your endurance and courage! Yea, it shall take every inch of perseverance that you posses! You may gain new abilities, learn the secrets of the Odd and even…..”
“Can we get a move on here! What do we have to do?” Munch yelled, impatient with the delay.
The Raisin glared down at them, “Fine! Go to the base for one of the Glukkon products, Glukies, or something like that. They should have a can opener there. Now get the @&%#* out of my cave!!”
Munch opened his mouth to say more, but Abe, seeing what damage this could cause, wisely grabbed him and bolted.
“hmph....young people today.....in my day we had respect for our betters! Maybe I should send that Shaman after them.....that oughta teach them....plus it’ll get him out of my way.....” The Raisin muttered. He then became aware of being watched, nearby several of the Ratz, his helpers and gatherers of information were glaring at him.
“What?!” The Raisin said, “What are you looking at?”
One of the Ratz hopped away into a dark corner, then returned with a can opener, which it dropped in front of the Raisin.
“So.....I suppose I could have given this can opener to the gadget-top, but where’s the fun in that? It’s much more interesting to have them running around looking for something, then me just giving it
to them! What else can I do for fun?!”
---------------------------------

How will Abe and Munch fare on their quest? Will they ever find a can opener? Will the Raisin be able
to get back to sleep? I dunno, you got me beat.
To the next chapter and beyond!

:fuzgrin:

Red 08-03-2002 07:04 AM

LOL! :lol This is great!

Go munch! Go Abe! Go Kesiah!

Rex Tirano 08-03-2002 09:10 AM

LOL hahahahahahahahahhahahaha :lol: What happns next?
:

“Can we get a move on here! What do we have to do?” Munch yelled, impatient with the delay.
The Raisin glared down at them, “Fine! Go to the base for one of the Glukkon
products, Glukies, or something like that. They should have a can opener there. Now
get the @&%#* out of my cave!!”
Thats gotta be one of my fave parts! lol

Kesiah 08-06-2002 03:10 AM

Chapter 3: of Sacred Animals and Food
 
Hey! New Chapter, enjoy it! And please write me more!
-------------------------------------

Abe and Munch had been walking for several hours since they had spoken, well....abused, argued with and annoyed, the Raisin. The journey was becoming rapidly boring, with nothing much to do, and nothing to run away screaming from. The only annoyance was the persistence of the Shaman, who had appeared near the Raisin’s cave, and was proving to be a great annoyance.
“So...uh....You guys ready to take on all the Glukkons and fight your way in and grab the...can opener?”
The Shaman asked. Abe looked at Munch, who shrugged.
“I don’t know.” Abe said. “Will you help us get inside?”
The Shaman hastily waved his arms.
“Oh, no! I’ve taken.....a vow, yeah! A vow! Exactly!” He said.
Munch frowned, “What kind of vow?” He asked. The Shaman looked momentarily frantic.
“Um....Well....” Suddenly he had an idea, “A vow of non-violence! I have taken a vow not to do anything violent to anyone, which means that I can’t actually help you when you have to get the can opener.”
Abe sighed, he should have known that it wouldn’t be that easy.
-------------------------------

Several hours later.........

“So I said to Bigface, ‘You gotta give this Abe guy a chance! He’s the one destined to save the Mudokon race!’ I said, and that’s why you got your special hand tattoos Abe, all because of little old me. Now I don’t want to sound conceited or anything, but I think you guys own me a lot. I mean if I hadn’t helped you, then you would have never managed to get into Vykker’s Labs! But anyway, Did you know that if it wasn’t for me...............” The Shaman droned on, and on, and on....
“Does he ever shut up?” Munch hissed. Abe rolled his eyes and tried moving faster to keep away from the Shaman’s voice, it didn’t work.
“Next lake we come to, I’m dropping him in it!” Munch said, as the Shaman continued his litany of how he was so perfect, and Oddworld itself wouldn’t be the same without him.
“But it would be quieter.” Abe muttered. “The Glukkons will hear us a mile off with this guy!”
The continued to walk in silence, except for the constant noise of the Shaman, and Abe noticed the sky darkening.
“We’d better find somewhere to sleep.” He said. Munch nodded, and a quick search turned up a suitable clearing with a small river winding it’s way through it.
Surprisingly, the Shaman stopped talking, throughout the day he had surprised Abe with his apparent ability to talk constantly without having to stop for food, water or to breath. Abe quickly took advantage of the blessed silence.
“Munch and I are going to find us some dinner, how about you stay here and get a fire ready?” He said quickly.
The Shaman grinned, “I knew you understood how important I am!” He said.
Abe smiled and yanked Munch out of the clearing.
“Thank the Odd.” Munch whispered, “I thought we’d never get away!”
Abe looked relieved too, “Let’s get something to eat, then we’ll keep going. I want to get as far away from him as possible before he realizes we’ve gone.” He said.
Munch nodded, and the two quickly set off.
---------------------------------

Abe burped. They’d managed to find a lone Paramite, and the meal had been quite good. Now the pair were looking for someplace out of sight, where they could get some sleep.
“Hey Abe, what’s that?” Munch asked. Abe looked over where the Gabbit was pointing, through a gap in the trees, he could just make out the shape of a fence and some animals moving around inside.
“Let’s get closer.” Abe suggested. Munch nodded, and followed the Mudokon over to the fenced area.
By the light of the moons in the sky, the pair could see a large building, surrounded by many fenced areas, each of which contained a range of creatures from Mudos. Paramites, Scrabs, Elums, Meeps, even Fleeches, were housed in variously sized pens and areas. Nearby, a strange building that seemed to be made of glass was filled with plants of every kind.
“What do you think this place is for?” Abe whispered.
Munch shrugged, “Maybe we should have a look inside?” He said. Abe nodded, and began to lead the way, sneaking loudly. Munch rolled his eyes and followed, it never ceased to amaze him as to how the Mudokons could sneak so loudly, and yet not be heard.
The building loomed above them as they approached, dark and menacing, or it would have been, if it wasn’t for the sleeping Slig. It was wearing a garishly bright uniform that, even in the moonlight, could be seen as surgical pink and orange.
Abe looked confused, the Slig was armed with a stick, but otherwise it did not seem to be expecting any
attack. Motioning for Munch to stay there, Abe stepped over the prone Slig, and entered the building.
The inside was dimly lit, but Abe could make out an elaborate set up of meat saws, he could guess the purpose of the mini-factory now.
Munch was surprised at how quickly Abe returned. “What did you find?” He asked.
Abe looked annoyed. “It’s a meat factory.” He said, after leading Munch out of the Slig’s hearing.
Munch shrugged. “So?”
“We’ve got to get the animals out of here!” Abe hissed, “We can’t let the Glukkons slaughter them!”
“Who cares?” Munch asked.
“I do!”
“Fine! You rescue the animals, I’m going to find this can opener!”
Abe scowled. Then he had an idea. Reaching down quickly, he grabbed Munch, and ran over to the Elum pen. Munch, of course, started yelling, so Abe grabbed his mouth.
“Shut up.” He said, and dropped him.
Munch started to argue, but Abe ran off, only to return with a short length of rope and some cloth.
Garish pink and orange cloth. Grabbing Munch, he shaped the cloth around his body, and tied him to the side of one of the Elums. Then he ran off again.
“Stupid Abe! I hate you!” Munch screamed after him, bound into a bright pouch on the side of an Elum.
Abe ran over to the other pens, and began throwing open the gates that kept the animals inside. Then he realized what this meant.
Scrabs and Paramites started to run towards him, Fleeches chased after them, and Meeps panicked and hopped away.
Screaming, Abe raced back to Munch and the Elum, and leapt onto it’s back. The Elum was already panicky, and it took off when it felt Abe on it’s back.
“AHHHHHHHHHH!!” Munch and Abe yelled as the Elum ran onwards.
------------------------------------

Some time later………

The Elum had finally calmed down enough for Abe to control it. Munch had not been helpful, because his constant screaming kept frightening the Elum back into a run. Abe had finally realized this, and had threatened to gag the Gabbit unless he be quiet.
“Well, at least we lost the Shaman.” Abe said. Munch glared up at him.
“Why the @&$% did you have to go and let all those things out?!” He snapped.
“Well…they were sacred animals, and they were gonna be chopped up.” Abe muttered.
“So? Now they are free to run around and eat us!”
Abe looked around quickly. “There’s somewhere that we can spend the night, let’s get some sleep.” He suggested. Munch looked a little annoyed, but he was tired, so he agreed.
Soon the odd pair were sound asleep around a small camp fire.
-----------------------------------

Morning....

“Morning Guys!!”
Abe groaned. His whole body ached, up until now, he hadn’t thought that is was possible for your feathers to ache.
“Hey, come on! We’ve got to get going!”
Munch opened his eyes. The obnoxiously loud voice apparently belonged to the Shaman. Munch cursed under his breath, it seemed as though they hadn’t lost him at all.
“Hey did you guys get lost last night? You didn’t come back so I thought I’d better use my superior shamanistic senses in order to locate you, seeing as I’m so nice and all, and I found you here! And that’s really lucky, ‘cause we have to get going soon and keep looking for your can opener, and I noticed some pretty weird things going on last night.............”
Abe sighed as they prepared to leave. It was going to be another one of those days......
----------------------------------

Will Munch and Abe ever ditch the Shaman? How much more of his talk will they have to endure before
they find their mysterious destination? Hmmmm, I’ll get back to you on that one.

oddling 08-07-2002 03:36 AM

Damn this is funny! Wright some more!!!I need more! this is the damned funniest fan fic I ever read, keep it up!!! Oh and thanks for replying to my fan fic, I really appreciate it!

Oddling l:c l

Kesiah 08-08-2002 02:45 AM

Chapter 4: Will that be have here or take away?
 
Thanks oddling! Here is the next chapter, which I think rates a little funnier than the last, but you'll have to tell me. As for those people who didn't reply........ *sniff* :crying:
I might take drastic measures next time!
-------------------------------

Chapter 4: Will that be have here or take away?

Munch hopped onwards. He and Abe had been walking almost constantly since that morning, but the Shaman was riding Elum, having whined and complained until they gave it to him. Munch was beginning to wish that Abe had grabbed two Elums, or
failing that, something intimately horrible would happen to the Shaman.
Abe spent a lot of the time scouting ahead, he was feeling a little apprehensive with the signs of Glukkons being in the area. One of the more obvious signs was just ahead, in the form of a large clearing, apparently a check-point for Glukkon transports
going through the area. Standing roughly near the center of the clearing, where it would be noticed more easily, was a huge bill board, advertising a place called ‘McGlukies’.
“That sounds like where the Raisin told us to go.” Abe said, looking up at it.
“Actually, that’s one of the smaller versions of it. The Raisin actually meant the main company.” The Shaman informed them.
“Figures.” Munch muttered.
“Shouldn’t they have a can opener there anyway?” Abe asked.
The Shaman decided to ignore that. “McGlukies is one of the biggest fast food companies on Oddworld. They make most of their money by killing the native animals and enslaving Mudokons to work in their companies! They are moving their slaughter houses further and further into the wild areas of Mudos, and eventually nowhere will be safe! Abe, you’ve just gotta rescue the Mudokons here and shut down McGlukies! Or you’ll never be safe again!” He declared.
Munch looked up at Abe. *He can’t honestly believe this guy!* He thought.
Abe looked at his feet, then at the Shaman. “Ok. I’ll do it.” He said with a sigh.
Munch practically screamed. “There is no way I am going to help you in this Abe!”
He snapped. “I’m going to get my can opener and go home!”
Abe looked down at his, well, sort of friend. “Come on Munch. We’ll go to this McGlukies thing, and I’ll try and get you a can opener. Won’t you just help me this once?” He pleaded.
Munch rolled his eyes. “Fine. But just once.”
--------------------------

The Shaman had explained the setup of McGlukies to the duo at the edge of the clearing.
“This is only a small branch, so don’t expect it to have many Mudokons inside. You might find a can opener there, but I can’t make any guarantees. Basically, just
go in and do your thing Abe, and I’ll wait for you here. I’d love to help you, but the vow and all, so sorry!” He had said.
Now, before them was...........McGlukies.
Actually it wasn’t much to look at. It looked as though someone had built it from bits of scraps that no one else had really wanted. The main difference, was the two huge golden Glukkon heads, set side by side and grinning out at the world.
“This place is weird.” Munch said. Abe agreed.
“Let’s just get this over with.” He said.
The double doors hissed open at they approached, Abe quickly walked through, and Munch had to dive forward to avoid the closing doors. The interior of the building consisted of a large display showing all kinds of food, with bright pictures beside
them, and a large bench, behind which stood a Mudokon, wearing a pink and orange outfit like the Slig had been.
The Mudokon looked up as they approached.
“Hi. How are you.” He said.
Abe shrugged. “Um. We’re here to rescue you?” He said.
The Mudokon didn’t seem to hear. He just stood there, waiting for them to do something. Abe looked around desperately for something to get it’s attention.
Something on the board caught his eye.
“What’s a Scrab Burger?” He asked Munch. Munch opened his mouth, but it was the Mudokon who answered.
“It’s a delicious slice of roasted Scrab, covered with our special hot sauce, with some freshly chopped Spooce on a bun.” He droned. Abe noticed that, while the Mud’s mouth was moving, his eyes were glazed and had a distant look.
Munch had noticed something else on the board.
“What’s the Native Burger?” He asked, dreading the answer.
The Mudokon blinked slowly, then said, “It’s a fillet of Paramite, with a thin slice of Fleech with Slurg sauce and freshly diced Spooce on a bun.”
Munch considered this. “So, why’s it called a native burger then?” He asked.
The Mudokon didn’t reply.
“I’m sick of this.” Abe muttered. He drew back a large hand, lined up the Mud’s head, then slapped the Mudokon clean to the ground.
“Was that necessary?” Munch asked.
“No, but it made me feel better.” Abe said. The Mudokon pulled himself up and blinked at Abe.
“Did you want that in the combo or not?” He asked. Abe looked shocked. He’d given it all he had, and the Mud remained the same! That left one option.
“Munch, you better go outside.” He said.
Munch hesitated, but Abe looked serious, so he hopped out the sliding doors.
Silence.
Then a noise tore through the air. The sounds ran through the normal ranges, then continued onwards, building on the effect of the noise until it was over powering.
Gradually, the sound stopped, and the quiet returned.
Munch managed to cue the doors open, then leapt aside as a ball of green gas flowed out, wilting small trees along the way and causing the death of several birds.
Inside, Abe was dragging the now unconscious Mudokon towards the door.
“I think I gave him too much, but I had to be certain.” He panted.
“Are you sure you didn’t kill him?” Munch coughed, the smell alone was awful.
Together they dragged the Mud out onto the grass.
“Think he’ll be ok?” Munch asked. Abe shrugged.
“Well, he stinks.” Munch scowled. “I’m gonna try and get him up. You can see if there are any more inside.”
Abe nodded, then ran inside the building. He found a few more Mudokons out in the back of the store, also unconscious from the gas. He dragged them outside too.
“I tell ya, if anyone lights a match near that place, there won’t be anything left except a hole in the ground!” Munch said. “How are we going to wake them up?”
Abe started slapping a couple of the Mudokons, and Munch quickly caught on.
Eventually they had all of the rescued Muds awake, and they seemed back to normal.
“Hey! It’s that Abe guy!”
“Wow! He really came and.......what’s that smell?”
“It’s me! I stink! Abe, You @&$#!!”
Munch quickly pointed out that he had had nothing to do with the smell, then settled back to watch the Mudokons beat up Abe.
-----------------------

Afternoon......

The Mudokons were feeling a lot better now. They had gotten out of their old work clothes and had had a bath. Abe had then led them back to the Shaman, and they had set up camp for the night.
The Mudokons were now talking about where they had been forced to work, while they all ate some Scrab ribs.
“And they make you act really boring all the time, and you get beaten if you don’t, so that’s why I didn’t do anything when Abe talked to me. Those burgers never tasted as
good as these ribs! Anyway, the Glukkons had the idea for this place, and they got all the meat from the animals that live around here. We had some Sligs guarding us, but they ran away when Abe farted............”
Munch hopped a short distance away from the fire. *I can’t believe we went to all this trouble, and still no can opener.* He thought. *Maybe I should leave on my own, I can do fine without Abe......* He looked up as Abe walked over and sat down.
“What do you want?” Munch snapped. Abe was surprised, and hurt, but he held out his hand. Munch looked down. Lying on Abe’s palm, was a can opener.
-----------------------

Has Munch finally found what he has been searching for? Is this the last chapter of
what could be a very short story? I’m going to leave you waiting! HAHAHAHAHA!!!
Please give me some feed back! I need some feed back! I demand some feed back!!!

I just realised that for some reason, sections of the text have been cut from the chapters, I'm going to go back and fix them, so don't be surprised if the previous chapters change a little.

thebomb372 08-08-2002 03:11 AM

that was funny do it again do it again

thebomb372 08-08-2002 03:23 AM

if its not finished put big bros in the story

molluck2 08-09-2002 01:55 PM

WoW!!
that rocks, write more, more, more...

Jacob 08-09-2002 03:14 PM

Kewl story Kesiah, keep writing. I especially like the 'McGlukies' branch. Heh.

thebomb372 08-10-2002 12:44 AM

ya the mcglukies part was very funny

Kesiah 08-10-2002 12:45 AM

I'm not insane! I just get these headaches......
 
wahay!!!
Thanks for the feedback and tips, I think Big Bro's might be able to be arranged.
Hey! I'm a Gabbiwog! *hops over to Munch* Daddy!!!
Munch: No.....Just..no.
*looks at can* Mom?

thebomb372 08-10-2002 12:48 AM

make them mean very hard to fight well im a intern work

Kesiah 08-11-2002 12:09 AM

Chapter 5: The Search continues
 
The can opener shone dully in the light from the fire, but to Munch it was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.
“Take it.” Abe said, holding it out to Munch.
Munch reached over and reverently picked up the thing he had been searching for.
“Abe....I don’t know how to say this, but thank you. You, you don’t know how much this means to me.” Munch said, trying hard not to look emotional.
Abe looked embarrassed, “Oh...it was nothing, I mean, we found it together right?” He said.
A collective sigh was heard from behind the pair. Turning around, they saw the group of rescued Mudokons and the Shaman watching them.
“Don’t mind us guys,” The Shaman said. “We just thought that you two looked like really great buds. We won’t intrude, honest.”
Munch scowled at them, then turned his attention back to his prized can opener. It was a lot bigger than he had imagined, and it was a different shape, what with the power cord and everything............
Power cord.
Oh no.
“ABE! I’m gonna kill you!”
-----------------------

It was several hours before Munch could be persuaded to calm down and let Abe climb down from the tree.
“An electric can opener! You got me a stinking electric can opener!!” He kept screaming and attempting to beat Abe to death with a stick.
“I didn’t know Munch! Honest!” Abe kept saying, trying to avoid Munch’s flailing arms and stick.
Eventually the Mudokons stopped laughing long enough to grab a hold of Munch so that Abe could speak to him properly.
“Look! I have an idea of how to get the can opener working! How about we try it!” Abe said hurriedly.
Munch considered this, the four Mudokons sitting on top of him, and his broken stick.
“Ok.” He said grudgingly.
-------------------------

“AHHHHHHHHH!!!”
Screams rang out through the forest. Birds whir away from the sudden noise, and Paramites scatter.
“AHHHHHHHHH!!!”
Mudokons run from the noise, climbing up trees and covering their ears, or diving behind bushes and trying to block the sound.
“AHHHH!! Stop! OWWWW!!”
Now the clearing, where Abe and Munch now stand alone. Or more correctly, Abe is standing yanking at the can opener, which is jammed on Munch’s head port.
“I almost got it Munch! Just one more time!” Abe panted. He got a firmer grip on the can opener and pulled as hard as possible.
“AHHHHHHHHH!!!” Munch screamed. “Stop it!! Get it off me!”
*It seemed like a straight forward idea.* Abe thought. *The can opener needs electricity, and Munch’s head port has power in it somewhere.......*
But the results were far from what Abe had been hoping for. Instead of a working can opener that Munch could use, they had a screaming Gabbit with a can opener wedged on his head. *Stupid can opener!* Abe thought as he yanked harder.
Munch screamed again. *Abe’s gonna rip my brains out!* He thought desperately *What a way to go!*
But there was something the two had forgotten. Munch was now very, very angry, for obvious reasons.
And when Munch gets angry enough, you see some interesting results.
Munch was very close to that point now.
Abe was also angry with the can opener. Despite all his attempts, it remained firmly wedged to Munch’s
head port. Abe took a deep breath, then grabbed a hold of the can opener and pulled as hard as possible.
This was the last straw for Munch.
ZAAAAAPPPP!!!!
Munch blinked the blue-white after effects of the electricity away. Abe was lying a good few metres away, groaning and holding his head. There was a mangled metallic heap on the ground, Munch
presumed it was the can opener, seeing as it wasn’t on his head any more.
“Ow.” Abe groaned. Munch must of been really mad to zap him that hard. He quickly looked around and found the Gabbit. *He hasn’t picked up a weapon yet. I suppose that’s a good sign.*
“Munch, I really didn’t mean it, honest.” Abe said, trying to calm Munch down. “I’ll tell you what, I’ll go and try to find you another can opener, one that doesn’t need power? Would that be ok?”
Munch was breathing deeply. He hopped a little way off, and Abe heard the sound of a vendo machine.
Then Munch returned, holding........a can of Zap!
“Come on Munch! Calm down! How about I leave right now?” Abe said. there was nothing for it.
“Hellllpp!!” He yelled, running away from the berserk Gabbit.
The Mudokons, hearing Abe’s frantic yells quickly returned to the area and were able to restrain Munch before Abe was too badly injured. But still the Gabbit wouldn’t relax. Eventually, Abe was forced to tie Munch up.
“It’s for your own good. When we can trust you enough not to try and kill me, then we’ll let you out. Ok?” He told Munch. Munch merely glared at him
“Ok. Let’s go.” Abe said.
-----------------------

Poor Munch! Will Abe untie Munch before the beginning of the next chapter? Will they ever find a can opener that they can use? Well, I’ll let you in on a little secret, the answer is........Opps! Out of room!!

thebomb372 08-11-2002 01:37 AM

i dont think it was as funny as the last part

Silversnow 08-11-2002 09:05 AM

Re: Chapter 5: The Search continues
 
:

Originally posted by Kesiah

It was several hours before Munch could be persuaded to calm down and let Abe climb down from the tree.

*laughs to death*
This story is actually better than what I thought!

salty pretzils 08-11-2002 03:19 PM

LOL! Keep writing please! This is the funniest fan-fic I ever read!
Go kesiah! Go Kesiah! Go KESIAH!

Kesiah 08-19-2002 12:01 AM

Chapter 6: To the City.
 
Finally! Here's the next part of the story, sorry it took so long, hope you like it! And feel free to browse the markets while we are there!
----------------------

With a thud, Munch hit the ground. The Mudokons who had been carrying him stood glaring at Abe.
“We’ve been walking for hours!” One of the Mudokons complained loudly. “And we’re really tired!”
Abe looked around at the Muds. “But we’ve gotta keep going and try to get Munch a can opener! I can’t carry him and keep an eye on whats happening!” He said.
“Then we’ll just stay here until we feel like moving.” Another Mud said.
Abe stared in the direction they had been headed. The Shaman had given a vague indication that a can opener lay in that direction, so that’s where Abe had started leading his troop. That had been almost a day ago. The Shaman had left on the pretense that the Raisin had summoned him, but he would return if they needed his help. The other Mudokons had been carrying Munch since then, but there was such a long way to go!
“Can’t we keep going and stop at night?” Abe pleaded. But the Muds had already started a fire and were looking for food. He sighed, then knelt down beside Munch.
“If I untie you, will you promise not to go berserk?” He asked the prone Gabbit. Munch nodded, so Abe undid the bounds and gag. Much quickly levered himself up, then glared up at Abe.
“How are we going to find a can opener now?” He asked.
Abe thought for a while. Then a surprisingly simple solution occurred to him.
“I can open a portal to the nearest location which has a can opener that we can use.” He told Munch.
The Gabbit looked skeptical.
“Can you do that?” He asked. Abe nodded and tried to look confident.
“We’d better leave the others here, we shouldn’t be long.” He said. *Anyway, I don’t think I could get them to move if I tried.* Abe thought.
Leading Munch to a clearing away from the other Mudokons, Abe summoned all the spooce he possessed, releasing a small amount in order to summon some birds to his location. As soon as the Birds arrived in the clearing, Abe began using the rest of his spooce to open the portal, chanting to assist his concentration.
All this was lost on Munch, who only saw the arrival of the birds and Abe begin chanting. *C’mon Abe! Hurry up! I need that can opener!* He thought.
Meanwhile, Abe was trying to focus the portal on the location of a can opener. It was proving to be much more difficult then he imagined. Finally, he had it.
With a humming sound, the portal opened. Munch didn’t notice how tired Abe looked, but instead raced to leap through the portal.
Abe saw Munch jump through and disappear. With a sigh, he followed, leaving the portal to close behind him.
------------------------

Somewhere, towards the center of Mudos....

Downtown was bustling with movement. Mudokon slaves moved through the crowds, buying items for their masters, sligs inspecting weapons on offer and lowly Glukkon Puds going about their business.
It was to the sounds of the street vendors calling out their wares and the babble of the crowds that Abe and Munch arrived. There, in a small off-shoot of an alleyway, hidden from view, a portal opened and the pair catapulted out. Abe recovered first and looked cautiously around the corner into the throng of beings.
“Uh oh.” He murmured, this was far from what he’d expected to find. They must be very far from home indeed.
“Abe, where are we?” Munch asked softly. There were so many Glukkons here, *Some of them are bound to need lung replacements.* He thought, it wasn’t a very comforting idea.
Abe looked around at the crowd, then pulled his head back into the alleyway before he was seen. *I’ve never seen so many people in my life!* He thought, *What am I going to do!*
“I think we’re in a city.” He told Munch.
“Abe! Do you know what these Glukkons will do when they see us!” Munch gulped, “We’ve got to get out of here!”
“But what about your can opener?” Abe asked.
Munch looked indecisive, “Do you have an idea?” He asked.
Abe smiled. Carefully, he peered around the corner again. A well-dressed Mudokon was approaching a nearby stall, followed closely by another Mudokon carrying a bag, this one appeared to be a slave. Abe waved an arm to get their attention, then withdrew into the ally. To his surprise the well-dressed Mud actually followed him, that had been the idea, but it seemed to be working!
The Mudokon seemed to ignore him, and spoke generally to the wall.
“Here’s the money. You’ll get the goods, right?” He murmured, then he motioned to the slave to drop the bag at Abe’s feet.
This was surprising to both Abe and Munch, obviously the Mudokon was expecting someone else. Abe decided to make things simpler by hefting a piece of scrap metal, and hitting the Mudokons over the heads.
“Now what?” Munch asked. Abe knelt down and removed the suit the Mudokon was wearing, leaving his loincloth.
“I’m gonna wear this so that no one notices me.” Abe answered. The collar of the suit could be bent upwards, so that his stitched lips were less noticeable.
“Wonderful.” Munch said sarcastically, “So they won’t notice you, but what about me, I can’t pass for a Mud!”
Abe motioned for the Gabbit to be quiet, lest they be found. Then he inspected the bag.
“Munch! Look at this!” Abe hissed. Munch hopped over to the Mud and looked down into the open bag. Inside were stacks of Moolah!
“Whats it all for?” Munch asked. Abe shrugged.
“I don’t know. But it could be useful.”
Then, before Munch could react, he reached down and swept the Gabbit into the bag.
“Hey!” Munch yelped, but Abe quickly zipped the bag almost shut, leaving enough room for Munch to breath.
“Shhhh. This way the Glukkons won’t see you.” He whispered. Then he strolled out into the busy crowd.
-----------------------------------

Will Abe be able to find a can opener in the town? Will Munch be able to stay in the bag any longer?
What will happen to the Mudokons in the alleyway? Who knows?

thebomb372 08-20-2002 01:48 AM

oddling delete some pms

Kesiah 08-21-2002 02:09 AM

Some stuff...
 
Please don't double post, thebomb372.
Why would there be a can opener in the bag? That would be too easy.

Anyway, for those who are interested, Abe and Munch are not actually in a city, they just think that because they haven't seen that many different creatures in the same place. It's more like a small town.

Also, I would appreciate some creative feedback from people who are reading this, if you would like to, send me a PM, answering these few basic questions, and any other things you might like to include.

1/ What do you like about the story?

2/ What do you think needs improving?

3/ What would you like to see happening later?

I'd be very pleased if just a few of you would take the time to answer this, thanks.

Kesiah 08-25-2002 12:32 AM

Chapter 7: Abe does Vegas?
 
Awwww....... Only Oddling replied to my questions, and no one replied in the topic. *sniff* :fuzsad: Wahhhhhh!! :crying:
Well, I wrote the next chapter anyway, I hope you like it. And maybe I'll get some replies! :fuzgrin:
-------------------------------------------------

The marketplace was packed with stalls, the owners yelling their wares out to the crowd. Abe was almost deaf by the time he reached the edge of the square, as Mudokons, Sligs and the odd Glukkon attempted to scream out their offers directly into his ears.
* Finally! I’m out of that crowd.* Abe thought. *Now to see if I can find a can opener.*
The side street that Abe had turned into contained some small-time shops, none of which contained a can opener. But the most interesting area of the side-street, was a large neon sign positioned over a doorway. The sign proclaimed the place to be called: ‘The Lucky Gluk’.
“Psst. Munch. What do you think this place is?” Abe whispered to Munch, who was still in the bag.
Munch squirmed around in the bag, trying to see the sign.
“No idea.” He whispered back. “Shouldn’t we be looking for that can opener?”
Abe ignored him and pushed open the door.
----------------------------------

Inside was teeming with Glukkons. Abe could see huge tables surrounded by Glukkons, apparently enthralled by the movement of a small ball on a spinning wheel. The air was thick with cigar smoke, and Abe had to fight down the urge to cough openly. He hoped Munch was doing the same.
There was a bar at the far end of the large room. Sligs were packed around it, some of them smoking LungBuster cigarettes. Abe also noted the long stage set near the bar, tables and chairs set around it, most of them designed for Glukkons, but a few were obviously for other races.
To his surprise, Abe could also see some Mudokons mixing with the Glukkons and Sligs, but others were carrying drinks and foods to various people.
Abe edged over to the bar. It felt strange that the Sligs took no notice of him, most of them not even looking in his direction.
“What’ll it be?” The Mud behind the bar asked.
Abe looked frantic for a moment. “Um, what do you have?”
The Mud sighed. “Look. How about I just get you some Soul Storm Brew? That’s what all the other Muds drink.” He said, and promptly filled a glass with Brew and plonked it in front of Abe.
“You’d better hurry if you want a seat. The show starts soon, and Queenie’s the best singer we’ve had in ages.” The Mudokon told Abe after he paid with some Moolah from the bag.
Abe looked around and found a seat near the stage. The Mud had been right, many of the Sligs and Glukkons were leaving the tables and bar and taking seats near the stage. Abe put Munch and the bag on the chair next to him and waited, sipping his Brew.
He didn’t have to wait long. The lights were dimmed, and a spotlight was shone on the curtains at the back of the stage.
The noise in the room died down, and an air of silent anticipation filled the room.
The curtains parted slightly, and a long metal leg slid out of the gap. Abe started at it. Then the gap was thrust wider and out stepped………
*I’m going to be sick.* Abe thought.
It was, well, a Slig. The metal legs were longer and shaped differently, and it was wearing a long sequined dress. But it was a Slig. The normal face and eye cover plate was also different, the false lashes attached were one of the main differences, and it was wearing make-up.
It was a cross-dressing Slig.
Queenie. Abe realized.
Slowly, Queenie moved down the stage, motioning suggestively to several Sligs and Glukkons in the audience. Then ‘she’ began singing.

“Vell, I gave you some Moolah, back in ’23,
But I ain’t seen nothin’ of you since,
Vhy don’t you do me right,
Like some other Gluk vould.”

The Slig had worked her way down the stage while singing, and was now entering the audience. Abe gulped as she swayed over to his table and sat on the edge near him.

“Ve used to be so good together,
But it’s like ve fell apart.
Vhy don’t you do me right,
Like some other Gluk vould.”

Queenie leaned over to Abe and winked. “Hello, big boy.”
*A Slig is winking at me!* Abe thought fanatically, *What do I do?!*
Queenie seemed to interpret Abe’s silence as some sort of invitation. She leaned over and took a deep drink from Abe’s Brew, then smiled suggestively.
“I’ll see you later, yes?” She said, and moved away from his table.
It was at this point in time that Abe realized that almost every Slig, as well as some Glukkons and Mudokons, were glaring at him in a not-very-nice way. Almost hostile. Abe suddenly realized that it was because of Queenie’s attention to him. They were jealous. He thought about this as Queenie made her way around the audience, singing and occasionally talking to people, but never for as long as she had with Abe.
“Psst! Abe! What was that awful noise?” Munch hissed from his bag. Abe shook himself back to reality.
“It was a Slig. It was singing.” Abe muttered. “Then......it winked at me.”
“Oh boy, Abe. That is not good. What happened then?” Munch whispered.
“It said it would see me later. What does that mean?” Abe asked.
Munch considered this for a few moments. “Well.....I don’t know......maybe it’s a trap? Anyway, this is not getting us a can opener!”
“I’m working on the can opener! Just be quiet for now, people are starting to stare.” Abe snapped. He shoved Munch and the bag to the side, and looked up to see most of the audience and Queenie staring at him. Abe attempted a smile and laughed nervously.
“I......need some more Brew.” He said, then got up quickly and headed towards the bar.
The Bartender looked up as Abe approached.
"Yeah, yeah. I know. ‘More Brew, more Brew’. Muds are all the same when they get some Brew, good for business though.” He said, passing Abe the glass. Abe held out the Moolah he had bought with him, but the Mud didn’t take it.
“Queenie paid it for ya. Seems like you found her soft spot.” The Mud said.
Abe gulped and hurriedly returned to the table and put down his glass. He sighed and looked over at the now empty stage, the empty chairs, the empty spot where Munch and the bag had stood...........
The empty spot where Munch and the bag had stood!!
Abe jumped up. “My bag! It’s gone!!” He yelled.
-----------------------------------

This just keeps getting worse and worse! Now Abe has to find Munch and the Moolah, so that he can find Munch a can opener, so that Munch can use the can opener to open his can and get to the Gabbit eggs! Abe also has to deal with Queenie, a very confused Slig, and the natural hazards of the town, try not to get discovered by the Glukkons, and get back to his Mudokons buddies before they wake up and wander off! Is this possible?! Well of course it is!

Majic 08-25-2002 05:02 AM

Heh, I like this:) Keep it up!

Silversnow 08-25-2002 10:22 AM

Hey, that's great! Some completely unseen problems! Wouldn't be much fun without them, eh? I'm curious, write more!

oddling 08-26-2002 12:15 AM

OH MY ODD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! *laughs too hard and too much to put on one post cause that would be spam* Wow Kesiah, that's so friggen funny! Hey wait a sec.... Queeny? Uh oh, I thought we put Aunt Queeny in the assylum? She must of escaped again. See people? This why I'm so nuts, cause I'm related to this dim wit!

Oddling l:c l

Kesiah 09-19-2002 11:37 PM

Chapter 8: Lost, one Gabbit, if found contact Abe.
 
Hahahahahahah!!! Just when you thought it was gone for good, here it is again, back like an annoying zit on your face!!!
*cough* Anyway, here's the next chapter.
------------------------------------

“My bag! It’s gone!” Abe yelled. This sudden outburst attracted the attention of several Sligs and Glukkons nearby. One of the Sligs shrugged.
“So?” He said, and returned to his drink. Abe gaped at them. Obviously the bag had been stolen, meaning that someone must of taken it while he was getting his drink.
Abe’s thoughts were interrupted by a Mudokon approaching the table. He was wearing a suit, but had the look of a slave about him.
“Message for you, sir. From Miss Queenie.” The Mud murmured, he placed a folded piece of paper in front of Abe, then scurried off. Abe picked up the paper and read the message.

Please meet me in my dressing room. I have important information for you.
-Queenie

*That Slig wants me to go to her room! What does she think I am, crazy?!* Abe thought. *But then, she might know what happened to Munch.* He sighed, finished his Brew, then turned towards the large door bearing the sign ‘Stars only: Keep out.’.
Abe smiled hopefully at the Slig bouncer and showed him the letter.
“Ok.” The Slig said. “You can go in.”
----------------------------
Munch had blocked his ears after he realized that a Slig was singing. The notion of the Slig also putting the moves on Abe was very scary. He didn’t want to hear the poor guy’s tortured screams.
*Abe my friend, I pity you.* He thought.
The Moolah he was lying on wasn’t a very comfortable bed, but Munch hadn’t gotten much sleep lately, so when the bag was lifted up and Abe began swinging it while he walked, Munch couldn’t help but fall asleep.
----------------------------
It wasn’t all that difficult for Abe to find Queenie’s dressing room. The huge golden star framing a large image of Queenie’s face was the first give away, that and the too familiar voice emanating from the room.

“He’s the sveetest little Mud that you have
ever seen.
Vith skin of blue and
Moolah too……”

*She’s singing about me?!* Abe thought. *I can’t go in! Who knows what will happen! But I’ve got to find Munch.* Finding himself resolute, Abe reached up and knocked bravely on Queenie’s door.
------------------------------
Munch awoke when the bag was dropped heavily on a hard surface.
“OW! Abe, watch it!!” He yelled, forgetting for a moment the dangers in a Glukkon heard them. A sudden silence outside the bag made Munch stop. He heard someone move away from the bag, then a hurried, whispered conversation. Suddenly he realized one of the sounds he had been hearing all the time, the mechanical whirr and thud of Slig pants.
*Uh, oh.* Munch thought, *What happened to Abe? He’s probably dead, if Sligs have got the bag.*
“What are you?” A Slig voice questioned. Munch gulped, what was he going to do?
“I’m…..” Munch began, but he was cut off by one of the Sligs tearing open the bag.
“Whoa! Look at this!” It called to it’s friend.
Munch stared up at the two enormous, large, gigantic, huge, did I mention big?, Big Bro Sligs.
“Uh oh.” Much thought as they stared down at him.
--------------------------------

*Snores. Wakes up*
huh? What? Oh yeah. That was riveting wasn’t it? Munch is the captive of two really Big Bro Sligs, Abe is going to meet some loony, cross-dressing Slig, and we still haven’t found a stinking Can Opener!!!
Hopefully the next chapter will be much better. See you then!

oddling 09-20-2002 12:05 AM

I told Aunt Queenie not to buy that salt lick! I said thats for SCRABS, not for Sligs! But no, she bought the damned salt lick! *sigh* And she's getting after Abe too!*grabs Abe away* Leave my Mud alone!*Smooches Abe* don't worry! I've come to save you!*swings away on a vine wearing a leopard skin toga and shouting like Tarzan*

Oddling l:c l

Kesiah 09-29-2002 12:15 AM

Chapter 9: Separation anxiety
 
*gasp* Replies....need......replies.........
*passes out*
-----------------------

Munch stared up at the two really, really big Big Bro Sligs.
"Hi?" He said hopefully.
The Big Bro's stared at him, then one of them reached down and grabbed his leg.
"Hey! Let go! Help!!!!!" Munch yelled frantically. It didn't occur to him that this would probably just bring more Sligs running. But, to Munch's great surprise, the Big Bro mearly dropped him on the ground. Surprised, Munch flipped himself onto his leg and looked at the two Big Bros. The were totally ignoring him, concentrating their interest on the bag he had been hiding in.
"Look at da, da, Moolah." One said. The other, who was slightly larger, started pulling out huge handfuls of Moolah and gloating over them.
"Preetty..." It slurred. The first Big Bro seemed to be thinking, Munch was fascinated, he could actually see his tentacles moving in time with the thoughts. After several minutes, the Big Bro seemed to reach a decision, and it turned out to be a relatively simple one, as far as Big Bro's go. It grabbed it's gun, and hit the other Big Bro with it. Of course, this meant an all-out battle, the Big Bro's hitting, punching, and eventually shooting each other, with Munch hiding behind a barrel, having confiscated the bag of Moolah.
The fight reached a peck when one of the Big Bros did some serious damage to the other, and Munch realized it was probably not a good idea to hang around.
*I'm outta here!* He thought, making a break for the nearest exit while the Big Bros fought. *Well, I have the Moolah, now I just have to find Abe.*
--------------------------------------

"Come in." Queenie called, knowing full well who knocked on her door. Turning, she saw the strange blue Mudokon she had flirted with in the bar.
"Vhy......hello." She said, fluttering her eyelashes.
Abe gulped frantically, "Hi.......I got your letter...." He said.
Queenie smiled seductively. "Vell, I need to talk to you, privately." She said softly.
"Vhat...I mean, what about?" Abe asked.
Queenie motioned to him to close the door. "Just let me slip into something a little more comfortable....." She said when Abe had closed the door.
Abe's eyes widened as Queenie slid behind a dressing screen. *What does she mean? What's this Slig want with me?*
He looked around nervously at the room. Posters of Queenie were attached to the walls, a large mirror dominated another wall, pots of various creams and liquids decorating an elaborate dresser underneath the mirror. There were clothes, heeled shoes and....false eyelashes? all over the place.
Abe spun around at the sudden movement behind him, standing there was......Queenie? Was it her? She looked just like a normal Slig, pants, gun and all. "Huh?" Abe said.
Queenie looked at him. "Well, what else do you think would be comfortable?" She moved over to a chair, motioning for Abe to sit in another one.
"Brew?" She asked.
"Um...No! No....um, thanks..." Abe stuttered.
Queenie sighed. "Look, I knov vho you are, Abe. No need to look shocked, the average Slig vouldn't notice at first, but I got a good, long, look. I'm going to help you. I sav who sviped you Moolah, and I can tell you vere they are. But I vant you to do something for me...."
Abe stared at her. "What?"
Queenie smiled.
------------------------------------

Meanwhile........

*Abe had better be in a lot of trouble!* Munch thought. *Or else I'm gonna throw him into a meat grinder!!*
The continuos running, hiding and dashing from hiding place to hiding place was beginning to get to Munch. Gabbits were not intended to hop everywhere, especially for long periods of time, and Munch was beginning to regret this whole can opener idea.
He had managed to learn some helpful information. By bribing some Sligs with Moolah, he had not only convinced them he was not a Gabbit, but was able to find out the Abe had apparently been captured by the Glukkon head of McGlukkies. Munch could only guess how that had happened, and what they intended to do to him.
*What I need is a short cut to the head McGlukkies branch.....* Munch thought. *Like a cargo ship, but where can I find one of those?*
With a sigh, Munch hissed at a passing Slig, calling him into the alleyway. Grabbing a fistful of Moolah, he shoved it at the Slig and said:
"I'm not a Gabbit. You have not seen me. Now, can you tell me how to get to the head McGlukkies branch in the area?"
The Slig stared at the Moolah, did a quick equation concerning weapons and their values, and smiled.
"Keep going straight until you see a Soulstorm Brew vending machine, then go left and keep going, You can't miss it." He said.
Munch nodded and set off.
-----------------------------------

Well, Munch and Abe are now looking for each other, but not getting very far, no can openers have been seen yet, and this whole thing seems to be a waste of time! Oh well, I'm over it. :)

sO fReAkIn oDd 09-29-2002 12:55 AM

GREAT STORY!!!! THIS IS ONE OF THE FUNNIEST THINGS I HAVE EVER READ!!!!! MAGNIFICENT JOB!!!! KEEP ON WRITIN'!!!!!

oddling 10-01-2002 12:30 AM

lmao!!!!!*quickly catches her @$$ and returns to computer* Hehe, thats good Kes! Keep up the good work, it's hilarious! *eats donut and gets jelly all over chanserv for booting Kes off oddchat tonight*

Oddling l:c l