Hi I am new! (Don't tell me why)
 

Hell-o!
I am new (DUUUUUUH)
And my name is GimmeCoffee!(DUUUUUUUUUUH!)
I just discovered that becouse it stands next to this strange post!
I love Oddworld (DUUUUUUUUUUHUUUUUUUHUUUUUH)
and......................... jezus christ what can I say more?
Ohjeah!
I'm from holland!!!!!!!!
But the audience don't seem to care a bit!
So I'l will just say hello again:
hello................:fuzconf:

Hi, welcome here
I think you like using Duuuuuuh
:D

No I don't (DDUUUUUUUUUH)
sorry I was just telling things that sound toooooooo logical....
Okay I will stop it then!
:fuzcool:

Hey, I'm dutch too! Welcome to the forums!

AAAAAAAAAAH THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!
Hey by the way if you are dutch you know the computermagazine "Compukids" richt?
THOSE BASTARDS THINK ABE IS MUNCH!!!!
Stoooooooooooooooooooooooopid!:fuzmad: :fuzmad: :fuzmad:

that's often...
some people dunno the game and write stupidities about.
pathetic

Why don't glukkons make meat out of those imbicils!
You could call it Bastard-Burger!

hahahaha
yeah or send them to vykkers labs!
and leave them there to be torturated!

welcome to the forums if your poll is anything to go by u will fit right in :D

Welcome to the forums, GimmeCoffee!:)

I bet you'll have a great time here at Oddworld Forums.

PS: You have a really cool sense of humor!:) :fuzcool:

Thanks Mac-Janitor-Dude!
But do they coffee at this place:fuzblink: ?
only tea richt?
:crying: :crying: :crying: :dead: Can't survive with out a capochino!

You can ask Alf to do an "alf rehab and coffee"
:)

personally I can't survive without coffee too
:D

c\_/ hmmmmmmm

hello and welcome to the forums, oh yeah and coffee rules :fuzcool:

(Its such a shame GC is new and i am prohibated from making any snide/sarcastic remarks.)

Might as well be supportive: Yes...why dont they...damn those bastards...damn them all. I TOTALLY AGREE WIV YOU GC!!

*Shudders*

Ah, welcome Gimme Coffee I hope you enjoy your time here.:) :D :fuzcool: :fuzgrin: :fuzwink:

Hi Gimme Coffee welcome to the forums and stay odd. It is so much fun here. So see ya around the forums buddy! Oh yea coffee is the bomb especially coffee from Howaii. That is some good stuff. Imported is the best kind I might add. You ever have coffee from Spain? They have good coffee. But I want to try some more from other places too. Well talk to ya later!

Paramiteabe:fuzblink: :fuzcool: :D :smokin:

Paramitebabe? Is there great goffee in Hawai!?
The have a verry great coffee in hawai!... No that is not a verry great song.
RICHT FRANK SINATRA?

WHERES COFFEEE???!!!!
 

Hi gimmecoffee I'm Oddling.(jumps up and down franticaly with cup of coffee in hands)Don't mind me,It's just that I got coffee and I'm not supposed to.(Grabs trampoline and jumps still with coffee in hands,then jumps too high and coffee spills on new carpet.)NOOOOOOO!!!!!!My coffee!!!Moms gonna be home in 10 minutes!!!!And it's all over da new carpet I'm doomed!!!!I know,I'll spill coffee all over da carpet so it'll look like the whole carpet is da color of da coffee stain!!!(Goes to store and buys 80 bags of coffee singing "They got an afful lot a coffee in Brazil!!!")There all done.(Just then mom steps in door and realizes carpet is wet)Mom:Why is the carpet wet?Me:Uhhhh I put a special cleaner on it so it'll last longer?(Crosses fingers and hope she falls for it)Mom:Why is the carpet coffee colored then?Me:Uhhhh It's just the cleaner seeping in?Mom:And why does it smell like coffee?Me:Errrr it's coffee sented?Mom:Where did you get coffee sented carpet cleaner?Me:Uhhhh internet?Mom:Okay thanks for cleaning the carpet.(Walks up stairs to kitchen and sees 80 empty coffee bags when I realized in horrid dispare I just got foster parents)As you can see I'm an idiot who likes to be funny.Welcome to da forums and COFFEE ROCKS!!!!

Oddling

LOVE THE STORY!
You must write a book about it!
Now my story.

I was at work, (hangin for the tv with piles of COFFEE!)
But a Jehoseva-Whitnes with strange goat-likelegs and two horns on his head jumped in my roomand grabbed my cup of coffee!
I WAS PRITTY MAD:fuzmad: :fuzmad: :fuzmad: :fuzmad:
HE DRUNK IT ALL UP!
I SAID GO TO BLOODY HELL YOU BLOODY JEHOSEVA-ASSHOLE!
And I grabbed my sofa and smahed it to his ugly bloody thing that SUPPOSED to be a face, BUT IT WAS SOOO UGLY!!!
And he was death Jan!
Ah woman screeamed YOU KILLED MY SOCK!
I said that was not a sock, but a demonic Jehoseva-Whitnes.
The moman said OOOOOH THANK YOU! YOUR MY HERO!
And then we had a great time in bed.

THE BLOODY END!

:

LOVE THE STORY! You must write a book about it! Now my story. I was at work, (hangin for the tv with piles of COFFEE!) But a Jehoseva-Whitnes with strange goat-likelegs and two horns on his head jumped in my roomand grabbed my cup of coffee! I WAS PRITTY MAD HE DRUNK IT ALL UP! I SAID GO TO BLOODY HELL YOU BLOODY JEHOSEVA-ASSHOLE! And I grabbed my sofa and smahed it to his ugly bloody thing that SUPPOSED to be a face, BUT IT WAS SOOO UGLY!!! And he was death Jan! Ah woman screeamed YOU KILLED MY SOCK! I said that was not a sock, but a demonic Jehoseva-Whitnes. The moman said OOOOOH THANK YOU! YOUR MY HERO! And then we had a great time in bed. THE BLOODY END!

This is were Gluk Shmuck walks in and says...ahem:

"Whats wrong with Jehova's witness'!? Have you got a problem with that religion?

Well it was not a jehova-whitnes.
It was a JEHOSSA-whitnes!
My mistake:fuzsad:

Why in the world would I say that? Jehova's Witnesses are annoying bastards. No offence to anyone but I dislike the promotion of religion. Yeach!

Yeah, you tell'em, Tom! I don't hate every Jehovah's witness. Only the dirty old-lady-stalkers in the park in front of our house. I should teach Fanny to attack them... ;) Well at least bark at them or something, so they'll be scared of her and wouldn't come near me. I hate nothing more than religious fanatics, who try to force others in believing as well. :fuzmad:

Hey...im a Jehova's witness!! You got a problem?

I do have a problem. I've had a total of four Jehova's Witnesses visit my house on two seperate occasions and they're annoying. Try to assimilate me, will they? Ha! I laugh in the face of religious promotion!

Ive never had that prob unfortunatly...i want to meet one, great one and pat one on the head before saying:

"Yes...Yes, i'm sorry...but where's the part where Jesus comes and says 'Hi' to people. What? No Jesus? Oh...oh thats a shame...i was about to join aswell. *Sighs* Bye now. "

Heh no wonder hes so annoying.Opps take dat back.But you guys are right,I hate people dat try ta nag you inta converting ta dere religion.Sure it's okay ta be religious but not bug people ta join them!If it was up ta me I would make a law bout dat and anyone who nags people like dat'll get dere head blown off by my friend Sal the slig.They should all be shot to da moon with air tanks dat'll last 'em 10 minutes and then they'll die of suffication!:devil: Any way I'm having a great time at da orfanage waitin for my new foster parents Mr. and Mrs. Gluk.(Puts hands in pockets and sways back in forth)

Oddling

Oddling, I say this as truthfuly as I can, you have a very colorful life;)

GimmeCoffe, um hi there. You seems like a very, um, colorful person. I think you and Oddling could get along.

Yaaaayyyyy!!!!I got forum friend!!!So what do ya think gimmecoffee?I just put you on my buddy list and your my first one!!We're both kinda odd in a strange way and odd in a cool way.So ya wanna be friends? :D

Oddling

[thinking] Doo dee doo... Lookin' around the forums for good posts... Hmm, most disgusting thing I've ever seen... things you'll never hear members of OF say... why music sucks... Hey, one of those "Hi, I'm new" type posts... [/thinking]

*clicks topic*

[thinking] Oh sweet Jesus, another stinking new person. They're coming in drones... Every where. Well, at least these topics are a good place to ring up posts. Just say "Welcome to the forums. Have fun." and you get another post, plus, you seem polite. I'll reply... [/thinking]

*clicks reply*

Welcome to the forums, GimmeCoffee. Have fun.

*clicks submit reply*

Afcourse we could be friends oddling!
by the way Melvin:squeeking paramite...
Ive stoled yo wallet and buyed me some coffee for the money yo have in the wallet....

You're in for a disappointment, I don't have a wallet... :|

Whooooo hooooo yah I got a friend from anuther galaxy(WOOOOOOOOW)and I spelled another like that cause you did too.(jumps up and down with gun in hands)Hey my foster parents Mr. and Mrs.Gluk came!They let me work at thier toy factory and hang out with the sligs!!!!They set me on a patrol area and taught me how ta shoot a Scrab!!!And they even pay me $0.09 an hour!!!(Would have put a cent sign but keyboard dosn't have one)any way you wouldn't believe how much $$$$ you can find under the head Glukkon lounge sofa cushions!!!!And they even got cappacino machines!!!!!:D ( jumps up and down with gun and cappacino and accidently shoots nearby slig)Opps.Oh well.( raids sligs pants and finds wallet with 5 dollars in it)Yaaaay!!!!With this much money I can buy 2 cappacinos!!!!!(Goes to machine and pushes button for coffee but Soulstorm Brew comes out,dosn't notice it,and drinks it in one gulp)Wow thats some strong coffee!!!!!I need more!!!More I say!!!!!!( buys another one)Woopee!!!i love this stuff!!!Hey wait a second(Notices coffee is not greenish and realizes I did a baaaaad thing)AHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Oddling

Mhhhhhhhhhhhh......okay........:fuzconf:
Long story..........,...,.........
And the wallet Ive stolen was from dragadon.............
Webmaster-robbing....................

Welcome to the land of nod.......
 

Ummmmmm hello GimeeCoffee, welcome to the forums and ummmmm drink coffee!! Wowee you REALLY like coffee ja??

-Tea ;)

YOU KNOW WHAT I WANT?

Alf's rehab, coffee and CAPPUCHINO!!!!

Whayhey! Glad to have you on board, Gimmiecoffee (nice name).
I am , as you might have guessed, the resident
salty pretzils addict/zombie/evil person.

:D :D :fuzgrin:
:fuzsmile: :fuzsad: :fuzemb:
Anywayz, I like coffee too.:D

Hey I have another story bout coffee!!!!!I just got back from Alf's Rehab and tea due to that inncident with da capuccino machine,when I went to da coffee shop ta uuuuhh.......get some coffee!When all of a sudden it blows up!!!!And it hurt too cause i was right next to da counter!!!!I went flying across the parking lot and hit a windshield.*crack*I didn't know if dat was my neck or da poor cars windshield dat cracked like dat but it hurt."You blew up my pop-tart!!!!!!!!"Screamed a Mudokon."No the coffee store just blew up and blew me across da parking lot and i hit dis windshield!!!!"I said"Oh you poor thing!!!!Come on over for some cookies."so i went over to da Mudokons house for some cookies."I guess you want some coffee then since you were at the coffee shop."Said the Mudokon and got me some coffee.Before i could take sip she grabbed it out of my hands and said"Oh look at you poor thing!!You need to go to the hospital!!!!!"She threw da cup of coffee over her shoulder and took me to da hospital."Hmmmmm.Here take this mop," "Yah," "Go down to da cafiteria," "Yah." "And move it back and forth like dis."Said da doctor."Okay...hey wait a sec!!!!!"He jumped out da window and started screaming crazily.Then a real doctor came in and told me he tied him up and pretended ta be da doctor but he was a quack.He said I broke my neck and should just lie down and play video games fer a couple of days.After all dat I asked a nurse if she could bring me a cup of coffee.She seemed nice and was kinda pretty.I took a sip and realized something wa horribly wrong."AAAAAAHHHHH!!!!It's decaf!!!!!!!!"I shouted."Sorry thats all we have."Said the nurse."So how long do I have to stay here then?"I asked."For a broken Slig neck?Errrrrrrrr abotu 2 years." "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Two years without caffine!!!!!!!!!!!
So do ya like it?It's kinda stupid but we're all stupid on the inside.

Oddling

Poor thing.. No caffeine?
HOW HORRIBLE!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

Now my story

I was walking as usual (Actualy not as usual becouse I normally drive with my mercedes benz)
And I was thinking: coffwee gi bedwi....
Yes I was drunk becouse one big jerk puttet 1000000000000 litres alcohol in my bags o coffee!
So I was so drunk as a skunk and hitted a Palmtree!
I was thinking wait a god forgotten minute!
PALMTREES DON"T GROW IN HOLLAND!

So I said to a guy I never had knownd THERE IS GROWING A F*CKIN FREAKIN PALMTREE HERE!!!

The dude said:....THATS a boabob tree......
THAT EXPLAINS IT ALL YOU FREAKING BASTARD!
The dude said: Why do you yell at me?....
I said:.........Well....YOU HAVE A BIG NOSE!
And I slammed his head into 11200940385938485854346596874 pieces..... or were it 3936658654766767565476767667 pieces?
Anyway he was dead becouse his head was in 11200940385938485854346596874 or in 3936658654766767565476767667 pieces...

And all the girls runned to me and were saying: ooooooow GimmeCoffee! Your so sexy!

DA ENDING OF DA END OF THIS SILLY STORY THAT ENDS...

Ermmmmm... very nice..heh heh heh..(Backs away trying not to make eye contact..) j/k

I'm too dumb/lazy/stupid/addicted to salty pretzils to make a story...


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Urgghhh... need more pretzils..