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-   -   If Someone Offered You A Billion Dollars... (http://www.oddworldforums.net/showthread.php?t=5194)

Black Waltz 0 05-24-2002 08:54 AM

If Someone Offered You A Billion Dollars...
 
If someone offered you a billion dollars if you'd do something stupid, insane or downright suicidal, what would you do?

Jacob 05-24-2002 10:07 AM

Absolutly ANYTHING(!) Prefarrably to do with my best friend ;)

Sl'askia 05-24-2002 10:38 AM

Would depend on what this 'stupid thing' is...I mean...you can't enjoy 1 billion smackaroos if yer dead ya know...

Edit: WHOOT! This is my 2000th post!

paramiteabe 05-24-2002 10:40 AM

Same here but if I had a billion dollors right now I would buy Howaii, build my own Amusement park which will have the worlds largest rollor coaster 600 ft, and buy 17 mansions and use them at different times of the year and keep the remaining money for myself in a safe deposite box somewhere on an island in the Atlantic buried so nobody will ever find it.:fuzblink:

Gluk Schmuck 05-24-2002 11:50 AM

I would decide on a case-to-case basis. Tell me what I would have to do to be awarded the $1bn and I will tell you weather or not I will accept the challenge.

Teal 05-24-2002 11:57 AM

:

Originally posted by paramiteabe
Same here but if I had a billion dollors right now I would buy Hawaii ... and keep the remaining money for myself in a safe deposite box somewhere on an island in the Atlantic buried so nobody will ever find it.:fuzblink:
You think you'd have any money LEFT after trying to buy Hawaii? ;)

I'd, uh... pay of my debts, that'd be good to start with...

Sydney 05-24-2002 12:29 PM

Congrats Dragadon. :)

paramiteabe, why buy Hawaii when you could buy an equally sufficient island at 1/50th of the price?

Anyway, I'd buy a piece of Antarctica on which I'd build a palace. There I'll scheme up a plan to conquer the world. Once I have acheived world domination, I'll develop a cure for death (to be used on your's truly), afterwhich I'll spread my wrathful tentacles to the farthest reaches of the universe!

Does 1 billion dollars go that far these days?

As for what I'd do to get the money, I'd draw the line at anything more extreme than amputating my pinky.

pinkgoth2 05-24-2002 12:38 PM

Hmm. I'd do pretty much for it, though yes, it does depend on what. Of non-lethal things I wouldn't do, for one: Cryogenizing myself for a hundred years. Why? Because I don't know whether the billion dollars will be worth anything after that... nor will I know what to do with them in a world I don't know (= the future)! That being just one example.

What'd I do with the money? *suddenly gets an evil grin on her face* I'd make @440 work as my personal songwriters! *chuckles* Well, something along those lines. Or buy London's Camden. Or just buy a house there and spend the rest on things I need so I don't have to work. Camden. Oo. Noko. Oooo. ... okay, getting carried away, don't mind me, I'm gone...


- TyA

dark_xinos 05-24-2002 07:00 PM

I would use the mone y for my own needs. But donate a chunk to fonds helping thretond spiecies. Pandas, wolves etc.

And invite you all to a barbeque!

Gluk Schmuck 05-24-2002 07:23 PM

:

Originally posted by dark_xinos
I would use the mone y for my own needs. But donate a chunk to fonds helping thretond spiecies. Pandas, wolves etc.

And invite you all to a barbeque!

Are these two things related at all?

*strong Australian accent*
Thraw anatha paanda, on tha baarbi!

munchman 05-24-2002 07:33 PM

i would do almost any thing, their are some stuff i would never do not even for all the money in the world

Jacob 05-24-2002 07:57 PM

Like what?

Danny 05-24-2002 09:22 PM

:

Originally posted by Sydney
Anyway, I'd buy a piece of Antarctica on which I'd build a palace. There I'll scheme up a plan to conquer the world. Once I have acheived world domination, I'll develop a cure for death (to be used on your's truly), afterwhich I'll spread my wrathful tentacles to the farthest reaches of the universe!
Hey Syd, you, umm, need a lackey at all? I can toady with the best of them (if the price is right ;))...

Jacob 05-24-2002 11:00 PM

:

Anyway, I'd buy a piece of Antarctica on which I'd build a palace. There I'll scheme up a plan to conquer the world. Once I have acheived world domination, I'll develop a cure for death (to be used on your's truly), afterwhich I'll spread my wrathful tentacles to the farthest reaches of the universe!
Ugh...puh-leez. You would have one Hell of a time trying to gain control of the world with me at the pinnacle of Evilness...MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA...and with my horde of bitchess and cute, strong lads. And gays...cant 4get them. Yes...i can see it now...you all tentacleness and stuff and me. Dressed in black, with a black leather jacket on a mountain top. Surrounded by my leather clad vixens that would be capable of tearing you to shreds with their vicious tongues.

:

Hey Syd, you, umm, need a lackey at all? I can toady with the best of them (if the price is right )...
And you'd be tortured...you'd be trapped in a small cell with Munchman Abe and Pinky preaching to you. One telling you how good God is and how evolution was a test of our faith. And the other saying how Abe and Munch are based on real Aliens that Lorne met through a vision and that all of us should have Abe Tattoo's and stuff...yes, i believe my evil power has just entered into your viciousest nightmares...*Growls lowly and strokes one of his female bitches beside him* MUAHAHAHAHAAAAA

Sydney 05-24-2002 11:26 PM

:

Originally posted by Jacob
Ugh...puh-leez. You would have one Hell of a time trying to gain control of the world with me at the pinnacle of Evilness...
Bwahahaha! I will crush you like an ant! *crushes a passing ant*
:

Originally posted by Danny
Hey Syd, you, umm, need a lackey at all? I can toady with the best of them
Hah! Do you really expect me to believe I'd last more than 24 hours with you as a lackey? The first martini I consume while under your assistance would be a cocktail of death! The throne is tempting, isn't it?

Doug 05-25-2002 12:01 AM

:

Originally posted by Sydney
Hah! Do you really expect me to believe I'd last more than 24 hours with you as a lackey? The first martini I consume while under your assistance would be a cocktail of death! The throne is tempting, isn't it?
See, Danny? Sydney knows the story of MacBeth. Shakespeare ain't all bad.

munchman 05-25-2002 12:27 AM

:

Originally posted by Jacob
Like what?
like feel pain the rest of my life, not be able to see or hear,
and stuff like that

Gluk Schmuck 05-25-2002 06:33 AM

:

Originally posted by Danny
Hey Syd, you, umm, need a lackey at all? I can toady with the best of them (if the price is right ;))...
Look, he's already regretting his abdication from the role of Prince RPG.

pinkgoth2 05-25-2002 06:48 AM

:

Originally posted by Doug
See, Danny? Sydney knows the story of MacBeth. Shakespeare ain't all bad.
*cracks up and excuses herself for a moment to gasp for air*

*wipes her eyes* That was hilarious, Doug.
Thank you.

*laughing still, staggering away from the topic*


- TyA
For Danny, so he can get ticked (yes, I randomly feel like it): "I have no spur to prick the sides of my intent, but only vaulting ambition, which o'erleaps itself, and falls on th'other [side]."

Jacob 05-25-2002 10:26 AM

Just imagine Earth like Hell though. With Dukes of the East and West and South. The leader in the North. Hmmmm...that would be interesting. (Ugh...how sad do i sound.)

Danny 05-25-2002 08:42 PM

:

Originally posted by Sydney
Hah! Do you really expect me to believe I'd last more than 24 hours with you as a lackey? The first martini I consume while under your assistance would be a cocktail of death! The throne is tempting, isn't it?
You will regret rejecting my services, my friend... You have just made your first grave mistake...

*sidles over to Chris* You know a good lackey when you see one, don't you?

PinkHaired Mudokon CWR 05-25-2002 08:45 PM

Depends on what it is.

Silversnow 05-26-2002 12:14 AM

*looks around* How come everyone gives out their planes? That's kinda stupid, ya know. It's sooo James Bond and his army of lovers... Wait, army of lovers is a music group, right? Oh, to &%¤¤ with that. Don't think you can defeat me. I've already begun my victorious trail against world, no, space, no, everything domination! Mwuahahahahaa! And no, I wont tell ya how.

About the money:
Hmm... Depends on whatever I had to do. I've done some things in my life (i remember one thing. It tasted like soap in my mouth all the remaining day...). But I wont kill myself or throw myself to close-to-a-certain-death.

What I would do:
Err... I would... Do you think I would give out my plans?! I'm too intelligent to do that! You on the other hand, couldn't trick me into giving it out when you any time now could die because your small brain forgot to keep you breathing. Not even under torture. Hm? What are you doing with that thing? *gulps* Oh no, take that away... I wont give it out. Lay that down now, buddy.... heheh, nice joke, now put it away.... ..... ..... buddy?.... .... .... .... AARGH! *takes a really hastened retreat, all the time calling for my mother*

Wil 05-26-2002 08:16 AM

:

Anyway, I'd buy a piece of Antarctica on which I'd build a palace. There I'll scheme up a plan to conquer the world. Once I have acheived world domination, I'll develop a cure for death (to be used on your's truly), afterwhich I'll spread my wrathful tentacles to the farthest reaches of the universe!
A cure for death?

"Hello, Mrs Hargreeves, not again, surely? Okay, take two of these a day, and try not to get run over by any more buses. Carol! Next patient, please!"

:

Anyway, I'd buy a piece of Antarctica on which I'd build a palace. There I'll scheme up a plan to conquer the world. Once I have acheived world domination, I'll develop a cure for death (to be used on your's truly), afterwhich I'll spread my wrathful tentacles to the farthest reaches of the universe!
And I thought my plan to take control of my local Polo factory and fill in all the holes was fiendishly mischievious.

As for what I'd do for a billion pounds... what? Dollars? Oh, okay, for a billion dollars, I'd get a gun, point it at the person with the briefcase and say threatening things. I might even shoot him or her for a bit, but I'd make sure to phone for an ambulance/herse after scuttling away with the money, sniggering.

What I'd do with it? Buy out Encyclopaedia Britannica and rename it The Oddworld Encyclopedia, obviously.

Whistling kettle 05-26-2002 08:40 AM

H
 
It would depend on what that stupid thing is...............

Teal 05-26-2002 12:35 PM

:

Originally posted by Max the Mug
And I thought my plan to take control of my local Polo factory and fill in all the holes was fiendishly mischievious.
Hehe, reminds me of an old April Fool joke Nestle did one year back, saying how a new EU directive didn't permit them to sell foodstuffs with holes in, and so they were selling "hole filling kits"...
(a sidenote on the "advert" read how macaroni manufacturers were rather annoyed...)

Danny 05-26-2002 06:57 PM

*sets up a small sign, and stands, leaning against it*

:

Freelance Lackey for Hire

Reasonable Rates

Perfect for any first-time Evil Genius who needs a few toadying slimeballs around to give his HQ that authentic touch

Apply here

*looks around impatiently, waiting*

Gluk Schmuck 05-26-2002 07:01 PM

I was going to be Danny's lackey when he took over the forums but I guess I'll have to be the lackey of a more competant evil genius...

*puts up similar sign to Dan's but with a more eye-catching design*

Jacob 05-26-2002 07:30 PM

*Walks upto both signs and spraypaints the words 'Be your own evilness' over the words and then runs away...laughing evily...like this "BWAHAHAHAHAAAA" *

MojoMan220 05-26-2002 11:42 PM

Hmmmmmm... I would miss an episode of the Simpsons... J/K, I'm not that stupid!

oddling 05-27-2002 02:31 PM

Depends on what they told me ta do.Eating 8 Burger King cheeseburgers and riding Talon 5 times yes(Talon is a relly cool rollercoaster at Dorney Park for those who don't live in PA)Bungy jumping off a bridge with sharp rocks at the bottom yes,bungy jumping off a bridge without a bungy cord no.Life threatining stuff like that I won't do.(Holds pinky at corner of mouth like Dr.Evil in Austin Powers)And why would we wan't billions if we could have...(screen focuses closer on face and music plays)millions?Okay enough Austin Powers stuff I want to take over the world but not evily.No Lackeys no guns,just coaxing and a few sad puppy faces at the government and a duplicating ray so I can turn a billion into a trillion and give it to da presidents and kings and whatever so they'll give me there country or whatever they have.When I'm done I'll find a cure for everything,rename Earth Coruscant,make a deal with aliens so they'll give us star cruisers,so we can go to Oddworld and live in peice and crap like dat.Until now it's just a dream.

Gluk Schmuck 05-27-2002 04:47 PM

:

Originally posted by oddling
1. No Lackeys no guns

2. so I can turn a billion into a trillion and give it to da presidents and kings and whatever so they'll give me there country or whatever they have.

1. Aww and I have my own guns...

2. I know what the Prime Minister of the UK, Tony Blair'll give you! Steel and porn! Or is that what he'll accept from you... Yeah. He'll give you anything you want if you give him Romanian steel and British porn.

Danny 05-27-2002 07:01 PM

Huh! If nobody knows a good lackey when they see it, I guess I'll just have to make my OWN World Takeover Plans...

*rushes off to call a meeting of the Axis of D*

Gluk Schmuck 05-27-2002 07:32 PM

:

Originally posted by Danny
Huh! If nobody knows a good lackey when they see it, I guess I'll just have to make my OWN World Takeover Plans...
I thought you were going to take over the forums first... You resigned from RPG moddom. You must be an incompetant evil genious.

Melvin:squeeking paramite 05-27-2002 07:39 PM

It really matters what the crazy thing is... Give some examples...

:

Originally posted by Gluk Schmuck
I was going to be Danny's lackey when he took over the forums but I guess I'll have to be the lackey of a more competant evil genius...
You? Oh, come on, I've been Dan's lackey the whole time, even when he doesn't have power... I even have lackeys, and you know how pathetic I am... Good ol' Scott and Morgan... :P

:

Orignally posted by Danny, soon to be the ruler of all (who will crush stinky old Tom)
*rushes off to call a meeting of the Axis of D*
Ooh, fun.

oddling 05-27-2002 11:30 PM

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Gluk Schmuk
:

He'll give you anything you want if you give him Romanian steel and British porn. [/B]
And i have both!Thats one place down,I'm taking over da world.One Scrab Cake at a time!!!

Oddling

Statikk HDM 05-28-2002 08:17 PM

Things I wouldn't do for a billion dollars
Eat human excrement
Screw someone really famous that is either ugly, think James earl Jones or someone really obese, or crazy people, like h ross perot or pauly shore
Not mutilate, but amputate any part of my body, especially the you know what
Otherwise, I would do just about anything. Who knows, I might even do something totally nutzo because money is really tempting. Mainly I would buy all the gold in the world until the price was high, simultaneously highjacking the worlds economy. Next, IO would sell and loan the gold back at a ridiculously high price and repeat this process indefinitely. Under a code name like Bob of course.

Steve 05-28-2002 09:04 PM

with a billion on the line I wouldn't trust the person who was asking nomatter what it is their asking me to do. besides, what the heck would you do with a billion dollars? unless you have your own company then most of what you would use it for would just be usless.

oddling 05-28-2002 11:27 PM

What would I wan't with 1 billion smackaroos.Hmmm this is a veeeeeryyyyy hard one(Notice this post is filled to da brim with sarcasm)errrrrrrrr EVERYTHING!!!!!!An X-box with Munchs Oddysee,a pet alligator,(tamed)get rid of pokemon,renaim the world Curuscant,renaim my math teacher Mrs.mother !@@#$%%# @## hole $&^&#(!!!,and have my annoying little sister blasted to Oddworld with a tag that says "TO SOULSTORM BREWERY".I would go with her but with my friends and not to Soulstorm Brewery either.Thats whatb I would do with all that Mulla.And anybody know any kings or presidents?I need ta take over the world the happy way with them(after I make them think they will be happy I will pull the curtain off of what was supposed ta be a new grocery store to reviel a factory and us them all as slaves!MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!BWAHAHA BWAAAAAHAHAHA AAAAAAHAHAHAH!!!! AHHHHHA AHA AHAAAAAAHAHA(starts choking)*caugh caugh*gahhhh AHAHAHA MUHAAAAAAHAHA * gag sputter caugh*(falls to ground dead of suffication)Hey!I can feel my body rising!Wait now it's falling WHAT THE HELL!!!!!:devil:

MUHAHAH BWAAAAHAHA*caugh sputter*Oddling

Cloverfield 05-29-2002 03:47 AM

I actually wouldn't do anything like that. There are more important things in life than money, and if you have all that much money you never really have true happiness. I really don't want that much money even if I didn't have to do anything like that for it.

*Expects some responses telling me I'm crazy, but that is simply my view*

Abe Babe...