How do you deal with bigoted people?
 

Something that I have realized over the last few months - that is not to say I feel superior to them or anything - but I quite a few people I know, including my own father, have rather bigoted points of view.

A few of my friends are homophobic/sexist (or at least come off like that) thanks to all that "LAD culture".

My own Dad has said, and seems to believe, some pretty racist things.

I just don't know how I should deal with it. Should I argue with them, ignore it and laugh it off or something else altogether.

How do you deal with it, if you even do?

I'm not sure if this is even worth a thread and not a blog.

Out of curiosity, do you have any black friends? Or if you did, how would your father react?

It's their opinion, you should ignore it unless directly affects your life

That's the same as legitimating it.

A bigoted opinion is never legitimate.

My dad thinks people who get pierced are idiots... :-/ I considered getting one just to show him they arent, but then hed just do the: "Youre an idiot for getting it"...


Some people just wont budge in their stiff POV of the world. Its rather annoying.

Getting piercings is a choice, and everyone is entitled to an opinion about choices people make.

As the confrontational fellow I am, I would probably argue with someone about that sort of stuff. But sometimes I do realize that 4/5 times I won't change their minds. It's difficult because most people like that don't really listen to logic if they think their point of view is right.

You need to compile extensive arguments against the dimwitted bigots points and systematically destroy their negative inhibitions. Trust me, I'm an ex-racist and ex-homophobe. As I've said once before, It's nothing I'm proud of. Now I embrace all beliefs, ethnicities and loves. I think...if I shudder to think that if I hadn't engaged in debate with WoF and BM back in 2009~, I might still house some of those horrible thoughts.

I got into an argument with my father once over whether or not capital punishment was something that should be encouraged.

He was surprisingly level-headed over it, but we just ended up going in circles and no one changed their minds.

I think a lot of the time, arguing with a bigoted opinion is a fruitless endeavour. Somebody usually gets riled up, nobody comes away having learned something, and nobody seems to change their opinion.

But it's the trying that's important.

It's also the letting them know where you stand on the issue.

Yeah I know bigoted people. My Dad and my Uncles tell racist jokes now and again and do sometimes go on about foreigners and such. But I figured that's what a lot of men who grew up in the 1970s/1980s do.
I can't say it really offend me cause I know they aren't really against 'blacks' or 'foreigners'; It's just natural way to joke around each other.

And as for homophobia, I don't know really anyone who hates gays really; Though I can tell you that I found it's more a subject that's discussed between younger people like my age.
I've been told many times that they find it rather awkward being around someone who is gay or even talking about the subject in general. I once had a conversation with one of my mates and "he asked me do you think it's natural?" and I just responded "It obviously is" I don't see why it does bother people.

EDIT: I missed out how I deal with it. I usually join in the laughter if it's just harmless conversation but if it becomes too racest, sexist or ect. I usually end up trying to move the conversation in another direction. I can't debate seriously for the life of me.

I'm not a very confrontational person, but I'll usually turn what they said against them and make the rest of the group laugh at them to make them feel stupid. Unless someone is extremely bigoted, that's all I really do. I can get into rant mode, but that rarely happens.

In some cases it just isn’t worth it.

Like, I’d be happy to argue a point with a friend or family member that I knew well enough. But some random asshole on the street, or someone you don’t know well but need to tolerate on a daily basis? Fuck that.

The same here, most of my friends crack gay/racist jokes, that's just what happens at school, as far as I'm aware work too, last year on a building site black guys made racist jokes about us and we did the same, I'll put my hands up and say I've done it before, most people have. But I have no problems with anyone who wants to live here.

As for gays, one of my three best friends is gay.

I agree with Manco here. But even with friends, I would only argue with good friends.

I remember that shortly after I came out my grandfather was worried about me because of STD's. Which I can understand, but he went to explain that I couldn't catch disease through sex with a girl...

I thought that what he said was so stupid I didn't even bother to argue back...

Old people have sort of earned the right to be ignorant, as long as they don't attempt to be assholes about it.

I never told my nana I was bisexual and I never wanted to.

If I wasn't prepared to let people be wrong I don't think I'd still be alive.

What do you mean earned the right?

And yeah I didn't wanna come out to my grandparents either, but all is said and done now.

I mean people who have lived a long life tend to be set in their ways and too old to change. As long as they're not actively promoting hatred and intolerence, I think that's okay if they're family. It's not like my nana hated gay people or anything, she just didn't know how to react.

I see what you mean, but then again, you are never too old to learn something.

I have no black friends. In fact here in Devon, there was one black person in my entire school of about 1200 people. Let alone in the town.

It drives me mad, I am not a naturally confrontational person, but I feel I have to bite my tongue sometimes at the inane shit which gets said about women, other races and homosexuals.

That is an idealized perspective. Not saying your opinion is wrong, just that it's not always viable in reality.

Sadly i'm not in good enough mental health to stand up for what I believe in when ppl are homophobic. If the subject of gays comes up, especially at work, my face goes red and I panick and, yeah.. A couple of my friends use the word 'faggot' and it really pisses me off, it makes me angry, but I can't voice my anger unless I'm prepared to be accused of being gay, which I am not because I think I'd have a mental breakdown or something :S and i dont think my friends would be too accepting...

You can usually tell when someone means what they say. Most of the time when somebody I know says racist comments, theyre usually just 'joking', but when it's someone saying something sincere, that pisses me off and I have very little respect for them. Usually these kind of people are just losers, failures of life, themselves

Friends not accepting of a mental breakdown,

Really? They sound like nice people, unless I have read that post wrong.

I've yet to be in a position where I get in an argument with an extremely bigoted person, so I don't know what my opinion is on this matter. I guess the best advice would be to state your opinion and accept the fact that someone can be so stuck in their ways and that they have their own opinion. However, I'd see myself questioning the things they say and forming some sort of argument.

Like choosing to have an abortion? Or choosing to be in a polygamous relationship? People are entitled to their own bodies. People are not entitled to judge other people for what they do with their bodies (provided all other participants are consenting, obviously).

You know that's not the issue with abortion. What if someone chooses to kill their 2 week old baby?

I am absolutely entitled to have an opinion on abortion, polygamous relationships and body piercings and it doesn't make me bigoted in the slightest.

Abortion is the killing of potential life, if it's necessary then it's necessary but it's a necessary evil and not something to be covered up with bullshit arguments about 'But it's not alive yet, it doesn't feel pain yet.'

Polygamous relationships are absolutely fine. There is nothing at all wrong with them. Further, being in love with two people is not a choice in the same way that homosexuality is not a choice.

Any piercings past an ear piercing looks gross. I'm not going to stop you doing it, but I personally find it aesthetically repulsive.

These are my opinions. None of them are bigoted opinions. Deal with it.

I would say that the easiest solution would be the set them on fire.

But that's just me.

Then once they'd cooked a bit you'd eat them, right?

^ Here we go again. (@ WoF)

You need better friends, mate. Also it sounds like you need to build on your confidence and discover yourself. Being accused of being something your not, or even if it turns out that you are what they accuse you of, shouldn't be a problem if you are sure of yourself.

On topic: Some people just want to be right and win arguments even though their beliefs and perceptions are warped. People like that aren't worth dealing with since it's not as if you can change their opinions unless you feel they'll be open enough to both listen to you and take onboard what you tell them... Being confrontational with them and blaming them for all the problems in the world isn't likely to make them listen to you either (I speak from experience), so be careful.

If you're involved with them, then there isn't a lot you can do about it apart from trying to find out why they think that way and trying your best to understand and come to a compromise. Good luck to you. :S

Absolutely. They'd make for a delicious meal. ;)

Oops. I thought you were Abe619.

Never mind.

wtffffff.

There is a difference between judging people and actually interfering with their decisions.

It is okay to disagree with people in favor of abortion. It is not okay to meddle with the law to prevent people from having an abortion.

There's a difference between having your own sense of attraction and having a negative opinion of a person sporting that property. It's the latter kind that I'm talking about because that's the topic.

People’s opposition to abortion is an ethical one; they have good reasons for wanting to prohibit it. On the other hand, opposition to black people or facial piercings is unfounded and although personally disliking them can’t be helped, political action against them would be a real dick move.

EDIT: What I'm trying to say is that with the anti-abortion crowd the motivation isn't "I don't like it" but "I think it's wrong".

I'm a bigot.

my grandmother married another guy after my grandpa. I am just pointing this out because my grandpa was super cool.
well this other 'grandpa' was always ranting about jews and gypsies and the whole family let him talk because he was old and crazy. and when I grew old enough to understand what he was talking about, I was shocked and tried to confront him and the rest of the family. but they just said, oh he went through a lot of things and he's a 'bit' crazy.
well what happened is that he disformed the minds of his grandchildren, my cousins, and now a great part of my family in hungary are actively right-winged and support some extreme ideas.

@ Laser

:( I always thought you meant with Devon the geological period