Oddworld Forums

Oddworld Forums (http://www.oddworldforums.net/index.php)
-   Off-Topic Discussion (http://www.oddworldforums.net/forumdisplay.php?f=9)
-   -   Hey baby (http://www.oddworldforums.net/showthread.php?t=20036)

scrabface 01-31-2011 03:05 PM

Hey baby
 
Can you guys give me some serious tips on how I could score with a girl? I am single and I desperately try to impress every girl I meet. But as a matter of fact, when I try to think, my brain blocks and I start talking shit.
Once I saw this gorgeous blond girl at a party and I kinda stared at her. she realized it and smiled at me and said, what's wrong? and I said
if you'd be a guy, you'd have a blond beard.

also I never tried this one out


Ridg3 01-31-2011 03:37 PM

http://www.oddworldforums.net/showthread.php?t=19559

Enjoy the helpful tips.

Daxter King 01-31-2011 03:56 PM

hazel is the authority on this matter, ask him.

T-nex 01-31-2011 05:05 PM

Just be an asshole, and things will be fine :D Girls love assholes....


Or is that guys? hms...

Bullet Magnet 01-31-2011 05:14 PM

Offer to show her your homunculus.

scrabface 01-31-2011 08:14 PM

you guys are no help...

Leto 01-31-2011 10:50 PM

every forum needs a thread like this, i submit that we sticky it for future reference to avoid future single "what makes you jizz?" threads.

my only advice is to accept this state of being:

http://i.imgur.com/AXKZk.jpg

and then wait for it to be taken away from you.

Mr. Bungle 01-31-2011 10:51 PM

We need a thread like "whinging in a sleeping bag" thread here, too.

Phylum 01-31-2011 10:54 PM

Stare at her with your mouth open.

Ridg3 02-01-2011 08:44 AM

:

()
Just be an asshole, and things will be fine :D Girls love assholes....


Or is that guys? hms...

Only the admin team of OWF.

Beat her continuously until she realizes that that's about the most/best attention she's gonna get from anyone.

Dixanadu 02-01-2011 09:16 AM

Rape her violently.

Mac Sirloin 02-01-2011 09:17 AM

Beavis and Butthead are excellent references. Go and watch them and then go and be acting the same way as them.

Go go go.

STM 02-01-2011 10:07 AM

You should be nice, girls like nice but only if your cute, girls like me mainly because of my hair apparently, seriously, grade four on top, three back and sides and girls will swarm simply to feel your hair. For four years I was a socially awkward little prat but now I'm a socially acceptable (just) prat with nice hair which, and I quote:
:

Fit girl who sits next to me in maths: Feels so spikey, I love it, it's like if hedgehogs shaved and their prickles didn't hurt much, just a little bit.
Ooh, if that doesn't work...piss on her tits.

MeechMunchie 02-01-2011 01:44 PM

This is the best advice you'll get. I watched it happen last time.

Just be yourself. Alternatively, be someone better.

So far as I know, girls do appreciate the time you take to try and make them like you, so seem interested in her.

Be smooth. Become her friend, then spend progressively more time with her until a date is pretty much the only option. Then ask her.

I'm not great with women, but I am a nice person, so that's the best I can do.

Wings of Fire 02-01-2011 01:58 PM

I always fuck on first dates. Once I fucked and it wasn't even a date.

MA 02-01-2011 02:10 PM

:

()
You should be nice, girls like nice but only if your cute, girls like me mainly because of my hair apparently, seriously, grade four on top, three back and sides and girls will swarm simply to feel your hair.

hello Barry White.

i don't have any advice, although i find it odd you're asking here of all places. my ex was the one that made all the moves, because i was absolutely terrible with talking to girls i fancied. i still am, but now i have legal beer.

metroixer 02-01-2011 05:19 PM

Don't stick it in her pooper

that's the wisest thing i can share with you

enchilado 02-01-2011 07:28 PM

Walk straight up to her face and say, "Hey baby."


Never fails.

T-nex 02-01-2011 08:42 PM

:

()
Don't stick it in her pooper

that's the wisest thing i can share with you

What? Have you been living under a rock?

Sticking it in the pooper is the absolute number one turn on for any female :D Specially if you did it 'by accident' ;) She'll love you.

Wings of Fire 02-01-2011 09:18 PM

I accidently stuck it into my girlfriend's pooper once, she was quite good about it. Even redirected me.

Phylum 02-01-2011 10:42 PM

Take her into the woods.

Ridg3 02-02-2011 01:26 AM

Put your finger where the pee-pee comes out.

Dixanadu 02-02-2011 08:21 AM

If you can even get your finger up there.

scrabface 02-02-2011 08:24 AM

up? where does your pee come out?

Dixanadu 02-02-2011 08:27 AM

Pull back your foreskin for more information.

STM 02-02-2011 08:51 AM

Eww, I couldn't do that, it would kill all the fungus that is light sensitive isn't it.

Wings of Fire 02-02-2011 10:06 AM

What the fuck?

STM 02-02-2011 10:27 AM

years of cultivation baby!

Sekto Springs 02-02-2011 11:54 AM

Smegtrapman.

ziggy 02-02-2011 12:50 PM

Urethral stimulation mmmmmmmmmm.

Make sure to not get adhesion. I didn't pull back my foreskin for a long time when I was young and I temporarily got it stuck on my weener.

metroixer 02-02-2011 01:19 PM

I never pulled back my foreskin cause it hurt

e: this is a good conversation

MeechMunchie 02-02-2011 01:23 PM

Anywhooo...

Get an umbrella. Animals have been using shelter to coerce females into sex for millions of years, and it still works. Most girls would rather walk next to you and make small talk than get wet.

Manco 02-02-2011 01:23 PM

I hear taxis are better.

Wings of Fire 02-02-2011 01:31 PM

Oh, look at her feet. If her feet aren't pointing at you then she's not interested in you.

Dynamithix 02-02-2011 01:46 PM

I love this thread.

Wings of Fire 02-02-2011 02:09 PM

Taking down notes are we?

Dynamithix 02-02-2011 02:10 PM

Hey, advice is advice. Of course.

scrabface 02-02-2011 02:12 PM

:

()
Anywhooo...

Get an umbrella. Animals have been using shelter to coerce females into sex for millions of years, and it still works. Most girls would rather walk next to you and make small talk than get wet.

But I do want her to get wet!

~Badum Tsh!~

Wings of Fire 02-02-2011 02:12 PM

:

()
Hey, advice is advice. Of course.

You probably shouldn't try to get in her pants at the first date. That was almost certainly a fluke on my part.

Dynamithix 02-02-2011 02:25 PM

I was joking. ...?