User Kastere has passed away.
 

My name is Leslie. I was a close friend of Kastere's best friend Jordan. I suppose I've come with a chunk of bad news.

I don't know how many of you knew of the user Kastere, or knew him on any sort of personal level, but I feel it's probably best to inform everyone that he has passed away. He was taken by a brain aneurysm while on a sailing trip with Jordan. Although the funeral home doing the bookings hasn't posted an e-bituary as of yet, I took it upon myself to make a tribute video for him. If you're wondering why it's a little off, Simon (Kastere) had a wild sense of humour, and always had a great laugh poking fun at cheesy tribute videos. Not the deaths of the person mind you--just the ridiculous editing and awful song choices. With Jordan working in a funeral home, it's always sort of just come up. With that in mind, Jordan and I grabbed up some photos of him from a "photo shoot" we had done one night and made a video which we thought would work as an appropriate send off. He wouldn't want to be remembered in any depressing way; rather, "I'd like to be remembered as the joke that I am."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b6LXQmnYES4

P.S. For those wondering, Kastere's birthday wasn't actually in 1994. The video is purposefully misleading.

Maybe this is going a bit too far?
I so don't want him to come back and be all "HAHA FOOLED YOU", but damn.

This still isn't funny.

I, too, am dead.

=( For real?

could we have more clarity?

If true: I am sorry to hear that and wish his family all the best.

If not: That is not funny and quite offensive to those who have had friends die.

I feel bad because I negrep'd him and sent him a really angry PM as the last thing I, apparently, ever said to him.


Either Ghost was right and I'm now a Psionic God that will pass over these planes like a great wind, or it's a horrible coincidence.

Well, if by the slight chance that he really died, I hope Chris is eating his own words :-/


Anyway .... If he comes back, I just wanna let him know I found this in no way funny, and it's slightly disturbing to fake one own's death.

I still don't believe it.

I will if he's not back and posting in about a month at most

If this is a big joke, I've lost a lot of respect for Kas.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand... you guys have just given him several good reasons to never tell us the truth.

People aren't that focused on the fact he really could be dead!

No I agree though, if this is a joke, it's horrible, especially after I've been hit by death recently.

Shit, seriously?

Shit.

shit.

Does anyone know him in person, or is anyone close enough to him to confirm that this has actually happened? If it's true, I offer my deepest condolences to Kastere's family and friends.

I didn't/don't really know him, but this seems like too far to take a simple joke. I don't think he'd go to the trouble of making the blog, a new user account and a youtube video.

Pics or it didn't happen. Like seriously.

I don't know. He is/was a mental case. I wouldn't put it past him to pull off some sort of elaborate joke.

*Groan*

You guys.

1:14 of that video made me laugh so much...

i'd say the exact same thing as josh.

That's stupid. If he is actually dead you shouldn't receive any kind of satisfaction out of knowing those who wanted to think otherwise were wrong. I will gladly chow down if he is in fact dead, but this is certainly one of those things I hope I'm not wrong about.

Considering how little information we've been given by both Jillian and Leslie, parts of their stories don't correlate with his Facebook page. Joe also went through the trouble of checking Ontario's obituaries, though maybe he should check again. Is there perhaps some lag on information input?

That's the part that gets me. Parts of the video seem too goofy/amateurish for it to be a legitimate memorial video, which they claim to have done on purpose to honor that goofiness about him in life. The other thing is, that Youtube channel has been up for about a year (which appears to belong to family-owned funeral service). I don't think Simon made it, and if he did, it certainly wasn't for this charade.

Yes, he's most likely not dead, but you using someone's potential death for some fun/drama really doesn't sit well in my eyes, and I'm actually kinda icked out by that.

The video was funnier than the blog. Well done. Change your custom title to 'Dead' and I'll accept this as a joke.

Like I said, if he is in fact dead then I'll resent taking this lightly. I said those things at the time because, based on the situation, I was 100% sure Simon was alive and just jerking us around. Now I'm not sure, and I don't think this is funny anymore.

I see "Leslie" constantly eying this page, but never seems to post anything else. Give us something concrete, please.

Cue Leslie's switch to invisible mode.

To the guy saying I've been eyeing the thread, I posted this and went to bed, actually, so I guess I never left the thread. It's glorious 2:30 PM here, which means it's time to get up. For those wondering, here are a couple of facts that might clear the air a bit:

A) Most funeral homes don't put up e-bituaries. It's entirely at the discretion of not only the home, but the presiding director. Some are just too lazy, or don't feel it'll be worth it. An obituary (not even an e-bituary) is a part of a funeral package, and is not a regulated service.

B) Clark Family Funeral is not a funeral home's page. We felt it would be the best place to throw up the video, seeing as it has "funeral" right in the name, but we can assure you that there's no Clark Family Funeral Home.

Still ignoring the most glaring evidence, Facebook.

This is shaping up to be quite elaborate. I really hope he's okay... I'm going to miss our brief, off-beat MSN chats and the clever photos he would post of his awesome toy collection.

Speaking of MSN, he hasn't been online since this started. So yeah...

Probably blocked you, the blog said he was dead since last week.

Does anyone else have his MSN? Can you confirm how long he's been offline? His name kind of blends in with the others and I can't say exactly how long ago it was since he stopped coming online.

Oh god I killed him didn't I


Oh fuck oh fuck I'm a murderer

Hey Leslie, what is the exact date of Simon's death?
As Daxter King pointed out, he posted to his facebook two days ago, the blog being made no more than an hour after said post claiming he died a week prior.

Fill in this gap.

Guys what am I going to do


I'm not made out for prison

Don't drop your soap, would be my advice.

Also I'm still waiting on pictures of Simon's rotting corpse. Or at least a picture of his funeral. That too much to ask for, come on.

At least I now stand a better chance of overtaking him in rep points.

Wow I'm really easily tricked lol that startled the hell out of me O.o bastard...

Oh, hey guys, what's goin' on here? I've got tops pro news: Leslie doesn't exist, and I'm Jordan. In fact, your friend Leslie's dead. The posts before mine? Those were from my Semi-Sister. I guess she didn't think I'd notice the random ass "Oddworld Forums" tab in my browser when I sat down to take my daily dump all over the internet. Having read through this topic, I'd say Semi-Sis has done a double dece job of creating an ace in the hole hold up of a miserable mystery. Too bad she's a girl.

It's true that Simon and I do have a distaste for tributes; this we won't try to mute or refute. We're kind of normal, occasionally, sometimes. The only real difference is that we're deliberately indifferent and down right diffident about anything that isn't deviant. Out of that disrespect, we decided to make the most inadequately accurate tribute we possibly couldn't. Again, this isn't out of disrespect for the misery of families who have lost the luminary of their life. Rather, it's a way to make fun of the sloppy and styleless editing of the childless. It's no more directed, dishonorable or vile than any movie with the guile to defile itself with a funeral joke. Basically, we did it because we care (about tribute videos). As a joke, Simon and Semi-Sis (Semslie?) and I thought it would be fun to post it somewhere--maybe even here--but it was never something we actually planned on posing as a plausible plan. We aren't ready to undertake faking the undertaker. Or, at least, it's not something Simon or I planned on doing. It was a brief conversation that's now the source of chief confusion from a delusional animal with a notably similar sense of humour to her brother and his other. After all, a good idea is just a bad idea with the rough edges hacked off or blacked out. Not so much like a diamond--more like an oddly shaped window. My sister, the drug-addled 13-year-old prostitot, basically copied from my funeral menu-scripts and made deranged changes to my journal pages as necessary in order to spark the unclear fear that we're seeing here. She's that uncreative. She actually has no soul. As with every guy she's ever met, she's found it impossible to abstain, and again (and again, and again) irreparably stained the reputation of her impatient brother.

Let me get down with the straight up facts so we can solve this crooked mess:

1. Simon is not dead, and will never die. If there's a reason he hasn't logged on in days it's because his computer is both an ass and a mule.

2. The Clark Family Funeral Home is a fictional funeral home from my novel, 'House of Clark.' The book follows a crass and angry funeral director with a morbid sense of humour, so the video more than fit the channel name. And yes, the book is about me if I had turned out cool.

3. The name Leslie was taken from Bridge to Terabithia, a story about the value of friendship and some other stuff. I don't really remember. I also thought it was a cool name because the video has you taking at face value what Simon's best friend Leslie said, a reference to the song "See You Again" by Ms. Avis Cyrus. My best friend Leslie's red-faced now.

4. What blog post are you guys talking about?

5. This is a longer post than it needs to be.

6. We're sorry to have Kastered you wrong.

Zing.
But seriously, this wasn't funny.

So no pics of his rotting corpse then?

Well.. A sincere apology would have been better than all those meaningless words.