Beekeeping
 

Hey people.
I have been keeping bees for 1/2 a year now and just wondered if anyone else did? Well?

I can implant my mind and soul in a swarm of bees at will, it's pretty nifty and good for keeping the elves out of my garden.

I used to, until they mounted a workers' revolt and established a communist monarchy.

I have never been so proud. Or confused.

I keep leeches.
Think I'm joking?

MY FATHER WAS A BEEKEEPER AND HIS FATHER BEFORE HIM

Nope.

I keep socks. They generally behave well, but sometimes they do a runner, or develop a hole as a ploy to get out, so they're a bit of a nuisance. One of them developed brucellosis, and another species developed myxomatosis, but disease is minimal in my drawer it is quite easy to interpret that as innuendo.

Nope.

Although I do have a small society of Smurfs. My herd of giant bats formed a union, one thing led to another and now I have a court order so I don't own them anymore.

i manage my own herd of cuss words. they can be very aggressive, so you need to develop a thick skin. the rewarding part is when you breed them and introduce new cuss words. the little shit-faced darlings.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHH! I'M COVERED IN BEES!

That's how I like my women.


P.S. that is the most obscure hobby in the universe

No.
This is.

Yes, that's the joke. Well done.

Heh heh heh, it's not weird, what's weird is when i spray bee pheromone on myself and let local bees swarm over me allowing me to act as a queen, I have to stay away from people because I can literally command the bees to attack by walking near someone and changing my body temperature by a minimal amount (this is done by thinking about someone who annoys me ever heard of blood boils)

They assume i'm under threat and bobs ure uncle! A screaming civilian

Nah, bees always get high and mighty and start a fucking union. Ingrates.

I should introduce you to my brother, you'd get along.

difference is Scrabtrapman's method actually works.

and he doesn't have to go home and chant for 3 days.

That sounds like a hell of a lot of fun Scrabtrapman. Bees are quite cute actually. If you forget the stinger, they look very sweet for an insect.

My grandad did but they died because of some parasites; now it's hard to find some bees in Italy (there was a very big bees' disease a few years ago) and not many people do a serious job with bees.

My bees are selectively breaded over the period of 6 gens to decrease swarming and stinging, yeyyyy. Also I like bees coz there fuzzy and like to sting people that aren't me. Can you imagine walking into a shopping centre (mall) with a bee beard, I tell you funny at first then they get the cops and quarantine guys in. oops

And at AIN: Your Italian bees killed of our natives ahhhhhh no but seriously Italian bees are extra fuzzy =)

Okay, this is pretty fucking cool.

I would post the SYBLAT? cartoon with bees in it, but I can't find it.

http://pbfcomics.com/archive_b/PBF246-Bee.gif

That sounds delicious.

I'm going to ask for a bee sub the next time I get a Subway, I'll make sure I get served by somebody who can't speak very good English too.

I fixed that so it would be good English.

Except it would be someONE, cunt.

Third time I've been corrected on my grammar by an American in the last fortnight fuck sakes.

I've heard the way that you people speak. It's awful.

Offal?

Exactly.

My grandmother used to keep bees. she has this really nice nice little house or like a type of summer house, only smaller, and lots of land around it. Like it a huge garden with fruit trees, bushes veggies :) ... and she had bees. Every time we'd go to Romania, wed get tons of fresh honey from her. I even ate it as she was extracting it. So much fun. But she's gotten older, and keeping bees is hard, so she sold them :( ...

I miss Romania.

Roam an' ya might find some more bees.

Hehe yea, just like we have bad teeth and drink tea and eat scones and have tea time oh wait, I do all of this, except the teeth which I don't have (bad teeth) confuzzled?

What the fuck are you raving on about?

he's had one bee-sting too many.

use your incredibly crooked teeth to pin him down, lads, while i inject him with more tea.

I can't, my top hat might fall off. I'll have to pelt him with scones instead.

Urgh tea.

Everyone likes Tea.

I hate tea.

I drink coffee, black and bitter, it's possibly the most manly thing I do.