Oddworld: Humanoid Havoc (Fanfiction)
I made up a story once that was supposed to happen right after Munch's Oddyssey.
A boy from Earth is abducted by Vykkers for research and development on new biological science. Can he, with the help of a renegade Slig, escape the Vykkers and Glukkons before he shares the fate of previous experiments? Can he destroy the existance of the technology that brought him there before more humans and animals become weird science? |
(Coming soon)
The story is still awaiting typing...
The outline of the story will be told soon. |
Then why make this topic if you have nothing to show for it?
And you should ask for Havoc's permission before writing about him in this way. Also, don't double post. There is an edit button. |
Havoc isn't a boy, he's a man, so it can't be about him.
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how is it about Havoc? Ahh well, would read da story when it comes...
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Humanoid Havoc
Think thats what the copying idea came from. Maybe it just means general havoc (chaos) or whatever....*Waits for story* |
:)Interesting, second or third human on Oddworld story I've seen.
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Boy why are you using my name in vein!!
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Well, I did and you didn't seem to mind.
I mean, c'mon, I put you in a bikini. |
Yes and if I ever meet you I'll kill you for that, obviously.
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!!!!
WELL EXCUUUUSE ME!
It was just a title! I didn't come here to get criticized because of a mere coincidence in name. Havoc is NOT a character name in this. |
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I just haven't typed it on here yet!
I am not writing about anyone called "Havok". |
Minch
...
Fine, I will give the ouline of the whole story tonight if I have time, if not, I might have it done by tomorrow evening. |
Let's see...
1. Triple posted after I told him the edit button did, despite rumors to the contrary, in fact exist. 2. Took offense at my pathetic attempts to make people giggle over words on the screen of their computer. 3. Started a completely useless topic and defended it as a needed one. You fail the internet, Minch. Please hand in your resignation by Tuesday. The only thing in your favor is that actually know how to spell and use proper grammar. |
!!!!
Fine...
You didn't have to hurt me like that you know. I want to talk to an administrator first. |
Minch
Ok, resignate me, I was just new to this and had no idea to edit nothing here.
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Minch
So my topic is useless...
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Minch
Well, are you going to kick me out and deprive me of my favorite forum?
Are you going to resign me? |
Minch
If you are going to kick me out, do it now ok.
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I suggest that you learn to edit your posts, and possibly edit the last three you just made with an apology and a request for deletion or something.
Mitsur, please try to be a little more gentle. A chance is only a chance if Minch feels welcome. It's just my belief that people should only be punished for intended offenses. Minch, no one is going to 'resignate' you. Relax, follow the rules, and try not to be offended so easily-- some of us have a strange sense of humor here that you might want to come to understand. We're not all out to get you. Try to fix the four-post thing and continue with your story. |
he was joking, Minchy poo, it's what he does
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Once again, and not for the last time, I realize sarcasm does not translate over the internet.
I apologize if I hurt your feelings minch, but I have gotten fed up with the rampant disregard for basic posting things like editing, spamming, spelling, and useless topic creation. I shouldn't take out my anger from real life on you guys. /me is sorry for all the cynicism coming from him lately. |
Minch...
Because I kinda over-reacted and lost the story, I better just type it now.
It's long so I'll just put the major details in... Ugh, how do I delete posts... |
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Oddworld: Humanoid Havoc Part 1
EARTH-
NEW YORK- 5:55 PM (Teenager Narrating while walking) "Have you ever wondered if there was really life out there? Have you ever felt lonely in the universe?...I don't" (Earth zooms away, fixes on Oddworld far away) "My name is Kenny, I know is sounds odd, but most names are if you think about em. I was abandoned when I was eleven, I lived on the streets stealing food and getting money whenever I could. Now I am sixteen and...that's when everything got strange... (Beam touches Kenny and froze, started dotting away like pixel) (End narration) Kenny woke up, strapped to a stretcher and surrounder by surgical tools. Obviously he panicked and tried to get out of the chair yelling "What is this?" "Where am I?" He layed there for another five minuted when a Vykker walked through the door and pushed a button which pushed the stretcher upwards. Kenny froze again, but in shock really, looking at the foreign figure with four arms and three legs, and a big head. Kenny repeatedly asked his questions and got no answers, except a few "shut ups". The Vykker scientist picked up a big needle and put in in Ken's neck. A few screams later it is pulled out with a shot of blood. "What are you going to do to me?" "You are going to make us rich when we find new discoveries with these "human" tests!" "Is that illigal?" (Laughing) "No, there are no humans round here." *Kenny puzzled* "Interns, get the human to the holding cells, make sure he is strapped to the stretcher at all times!" Kenny was rolled to a holding cell where he layed for several hours trying to ignore the stench from other prisoners. (Voice in cell) "Are you the human?" (Groaning) "Yes. What are you?" "A Slig..." "What is a Slig?" (Crawls in the light) For the next few hours, the Slig told Ken all about their world and why he was in the holding cell instead of working for any Glukkons. (The Slig's name is Slag) He goofed off too much, got caught and ran off. Eventually he got caught and imprisoned to be taken to the Queen. The Vykkers took his pants (Legs) and threw him in the cell. "How did I get here?" "Like I know!" (An Intern walks in to take Kenny away) "Oh, great, more needles and-" (Muffled talking from Intern) The Intern rolled Ken to an automatic door, it wasn't opening. The Intern was cursing under his muffled talk as he walked to the emergency open button for the door, Kenny smacked him upside the head and knocked him out. (Walks to Slag's cell with key) "How in the hell did you get out of that stretcher?" "I reached my hand over to the table while I was in that lab and grabbed a scalpel, when pill-head walked in I tucked it in my sleeve and I started cutting when I got here." "Smart." "Now, how do we get out of here?" Worry about that after I get my pants. Can't get out of here alive without legs." "Ok, where are they?" "In the locker room in the hall. Oh, and, you need something besides those robes for protection." "It is called clothing!" -To be continued- I kinda ran out of time for now. |
Oddworld: Humanoid Havoc Part 2
Sneaking past Vykkers and Interns, Ken and Slag move to the locker room which stored Slag's legs and some protective gear for Ken. Afterwards, they crawl through the ventilation.
"This outfit is tight damn it!" "Stop whining. There are no types of clothes for humans here!" "Well, is there a quicker way out of here besides ventilation shafts?" "Just keep crawling." "Tut, easy for you to say..." (Vykkers) "Raise the alarm, the human has escaped!" "Were tracking him, he and the slacker are in the ventilation system." "Hmmmm, hey, you, start the grinders on level B!" (Return to ventilation) Within a few minuted, rushes of air start blowing in the tunnels. "What's going on?" "Crawl, crawl!" (Grinder whirring) "Is that what I think it is?" Slag and Ken crawl faster and faster trying to escape the grinder pursueing them through the long, narrow tunnel. "Hurry, we are almost there." (Back to Vykkers) "Is it a good idea to turn them into mulch?" "It saves time just to pick the tissue out of the tunnel." (Ventilation) "It's getting closer!" Ken and Slag turn a corner and find a dead end "*Gasp* Dead end." "What, are we trapped, what now?" "I wish I brough a Blitz Blaster with me." (Vykkers) "Crank up the grinder's speed." "Whatever." "No, wrong button you moron!" (Grinder slows down and comes to a stop) "Phew, that was close..." "If you thought that was bad, you should see the recycling grinders in industrial Slog Huts." "What's a Slog?" "Later, let's just get out of here." Ken and Slag crawl out of the vents and into a big lab filled with caged Fuzzles, Paramites and Scrabs. "Ignore the animals, they will tear you apart." "What, these round things don't look dangerous." (Sticks finger in and Fuzzle bites) "Ah!" "Slag rolls head." "It bit me." "What do you expect Fuzzles to do?" Ken walked away from the cage to look at the Scrabs "What are these?" "Something to stay away from. Hey, i found some guns!" "Cool, give me one." (Hands Ken a pistol) "What's A Slig without his gun or Stick, Nothing." (Finds what appears to be an escape hatch) "Is this a way out?" "Only one way to find out." "Whoa, are we still in the air?" (Opens floor hatch) -To be continued- More tomorrow. |
Oddworld: Humanoid Havoc Part 3
Slag opened the hatch and before they knew it, they were falling from a newly constructed Vykers Labs, landing in the ocean. By morning they had drifted to the beach.
(Groaning) "Where are we now?" "Slag, Slag!" "He's gone..." "I'm over here you idiot!" (Slag crawls out of tall grass) "Now that we're out of the labs, we should go to Flubco." Odd...name. What is Flubco?" "One of the largest industrial factories around, although, it's still recovering cash from a hostile takeover a few months ago." "Sounds good to me. Will I be safe?" "Sure, the regional managers will keep you safe...if..." "If what?" "If you agree to do work." "But I have to get back to earth, I gotta find out who brought me here." "If you work, the managers will keep you safe, they will find the ones who brought you here." "Ok..." Kenny used to think the Vykkers were the ones that brought him to Oddworld, as time went by, he began to think that there must be some competition between Vykkers and something else in their world. Their journey to Flubco was difficult. Industrial checkpoints, polluted water, plains and a brewery were passed before they finally arrived at the colossal campany. (Walk through front door) "This is Flubco?" "'C'mon, it's still recovering from bankruptcy. Now come with me, all visitors must see the manager." (Kenny thinking) *Keep pushing me shorty* Ken followed Slag to the Senior CEO's office, on the way, he passed about twelve Sligs and some Mudokon Scrubs. "Do you all look alike or something?" "Yeah, we all look pretty much alike." "What are they. The skinny guys scrubbing the floors?" "Don't mind them, they are the Scrubs, they do their job." "Is this slavery or-" (Office door opens) "Uh, welcome to the CEO office Kenny." "Slag, what are you doing here, I fired you you useless piece of..." "Is that the human?" "Yes." "Slag, you just got your job back!" "Thanks boss, but-" "Get out of my office and get to a patrol, I want to talk with the human!" "...Yes sir." (Office door shuts) "Can you help me get back to earth?" "No kid, that kind of technology doesn't exist out here...yet. Even a glockstar like me can't afford to make something that can bring things from that far away!" "The how did I get here!?" "Beats me kid, you best forget about your home and think about here! Tell you what, if you agree to work for us and get Flubco back on the line, I will make sure those Vykkers never pick you up. *Hehehe, unless they make a good offer* *I will get out of here someday, I just gotta cooperate for now* "Ok, what do I have to do?" "First, I want you to clean the floor with those Scrubs, then tonight you can clean the vents all over the facility, by tomorrow morning I want the reservoir tank serial numbers repainted." "What do you think I am, some kind of-" "I can call the Vykkers and ask them to pick you up if you want that instead!" For the next few hours, Ken had to mop the floor with the Mudokon Scrubs, the work was absolutely exhausting. "Are you the human?" *How does everyone know about me* "Yes, I am." "Please, help us get out of here." "Don't you love your job, scrubbing the floor? The manager told me that you know." "And you believed him?" "Should I have?" "Glukkons and their lackeys are the worst fellas in all of Oddworld, the make us scrub their floors and wipe their sewers for nothing." "So you ARE slaves." "Yes, and you are no better than one now." "I work, and Mr. No Arms keeps me alive." "You have to get out of here, sneak out and run as far as you can, travel to the East and find the Big Well, find the Raisin's Cave." "I don't even know what the Big Well looks like." "Just go east, find a cave in Spooceshrub forest." "What is a spoo-" (Slig Shouting) "Shut up over there!" Ken worked all day, by the next da of work he was ready to drop from exhaustion. He still meets with Slag from time to time. He has been thinking about what that Mudokon Scrub said but he knew the Manager would send the Vykkers after him, he couldn't take the risk of becoming a slave, he started forming a plan with the Scrubs every once in a while, if he will be safe at the Rainsin's Cave the scrubs will know where to find it. -To be continued- |
:PSeems interesting I guess....My main critique is most of it is in script, which is a little off putting, you don't really describe the places and how the characters say things, or who is talkking sometimes. :DHope I helped.
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Minch
Thanks...I think that really helps...
I know the story is poorly written but, if you played Munch's Oddyssey, you should know what Flubco looks like. The new Vykkers Labs is a bit different than the other. The beach they washed up on is like the one Munch was hopping on before he stepped on the trap. Understanding who is talking is kinda hard, a new line usually means a new talker. It's getting more interesting...I hope. |
Minch
How is it off a little?
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Minch
Ok, i'll subtitle who is talking.
Phew, I thought I got something mislead. |
Oddworld: Humanoid Havoc Part 4
Kenny visit the Scrubs whenever he had the chance, carefully planning their big escape. If the alarm was tripped, Slogs will be everywhere and Big Bros will go berserk. The exits were guarded and cameras were everywhere.
(Flubco cargo room) Ken: "Ok, the Sligs are asleep but the ones at the exit are not." Mudokon 1: "I think this is suicide, that's what." Mudokon 2: "How will we pull this off, we have no Tomahawks or Spoocebows." Ken: "Ok, let me go over it again;" "Ok, when the Sligs go to doze off for the night more go the entrances and exits to cover their patrol. Now, when the new patrols are coming down the hall, I'll hide behind those boxes, sneak up behind them and knock em out. You will scrub the floors and hit them with these sticks. Then, we'll move them out of sight and knock out the power so the cameras at the entrance can't catch us. We open the front door and creep around the mines in the courtyard." Mudokon 3: "What about the bridge?" Ken: "Oh, the bridge;" "There are always three Sligs guarding the bridge at night. I have to clean the outdoor generator at the third observation tower that night, before I move to the tower I will try to start a conversation with them. When I am talking, sneak up to em and hit them on the head with the sticks. We run out of here and I'll follow you to this "Raisin's Cave." All seven Mudokons: "And you really think we can do this?" Ken: "We are going to do this." (Fifteen minutes till escape attempt) Ken: "Before we get ready, I have to get Slag." Mudokon 2: "What makes you think he will follow us?" Mudokon 5: "What makes you think we will let him follow us?" Ken: "Because...he's..." Mudokon 7: "Never make friends with a Slig!" Mudokon: "Shut up, they'll hear you!" Big Bro: "What is going on here?" Ken: "Group joke." Big Bro: Get back to work before I Blitz Blast you all!" (Stomps away) Mudokon 1: "The charm never stops around here." Ken: "I'll be back." (Slag's quarters) Ken Whispering: "Slag, wake up." Slag: "Ugh, what are you doing here?" Ken: "Were getting out of here." (Picks up pistol) Slag: "Can't let you do that Kenny...you escape and I lose my job, I ain't going to no Mudokon hideout, yeah, I knew you were planning something." Ken: "I helped you out of your cell." Slag: "Never trust a Slig when there is a reward on your head, now, hands up!" (Puts hands up) Slag: "Turn around and get on your knees." Slag: "It's going to be kicks when I get the reward." Ken: "Yeah, kicks, great idea." Slag: "What?" (Ken lifts his leg up and kicks Slag in the head) Ken: "Ohhh, knocked unconscious, just let me have that pistol." (Takes pistol) Ken: "Time to leave..." -To be continued- |
Alex
There is still plenty of parts left.
If anyone has noticed a few weaknessed please let me know, I want to make sure you all understand the story. |
This might not apply to everyone, but I'm not really interested in reading what basically amounts to a script. Try to write it in story form, like so. I took a passage and re-wrote for an example.
Before: Ken: "Ok, the Sligs are asleep but the ones at the exit are not." Mudokon 1: "I think this is suicide, that's what." Mudokon 2: "How will we pull this off, we have no Tomahawks or Spoocebows." Ken: "Ok, let me go over it again;" After: Ken cracked open the door to the loud sound of snoring coming from outside the dirty storage room. He slowly moved his head to get a better view of the sligs guarding the door outside. To his relief, they were all leaning against each other or the walls, eyes closed. Ken pushed himself up on one arm and managed to get a better look. To his dismay, the sligs on the other side of the heavily-reinforced steel door on the other side of the hall were still at attention. It was a miracle they hadn't seen the snoozing sligs who were guarding Ken's door. Ken sighed, but turned towards his new mudokon friends. He spoke quickly, in a low whisper. "Okay, the sligs are asleep, but the ones near the exit are not," "This is suicide, Ken. We can't do it while the door guards are still awake." One of the mudokons replied, frightened at the situation. "How're we gonna pull this off without any spooce bows or tomahawks?" Ken sighed. An unwilling comrade was the last thing he needed. He took a deep breath. "Just wait a second. Lemme go over the plan one more time." ___________ Spelling, grammar, and punctuation also need a lot of work. I suggest running your stories through a spell checker before posting them. And for the last time, just edit your posts with the new parts insteading of triple-posting. If someone replies, then you can post a new part instead of editing. 3/10 |
I have 2 questions;
1.How can the Oddworldians speak English? 2.How would Oddworldians know what a human is? Is there a Glukkon called Gninnal Enrol who made a series of games called Terra? |
Minch
If you played Munch's Oddyssey, they sure seem to speak english to me.
The part how they know what a human is is still to be revealed, later. There is some spelling errors because I have to type hard on my keyboard. |
Minch
Thanks for the creative correction Mistur, I just rush a bit too much.
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Minch
Look, sorry about the post thing, I'm just not used to it.
There is going to be many more parts to the story if I am going to write it properly. Please wait a bit. |
Minch! FFS. Stop bloody double/triple/etc. posting! It's against the rules and as several members have already told you not to do this and have told you about the edit button I feel that I have to give you an infraction. Please don't do it, there is an edit button for a reason!
- Rexy |