MAN CUTS OFF OWN PENIS IN LONDON RESTAURANT
 

Breaking News! From Tuesday.

Man walks into a swanky, suspected Italian-named restaurant whereby he rushes to the kitchens, gains possession of a knife and cuts off his own schlong. Doctors were unfortunately unable to re-attach the stabbed-out member, but are left with the moral decision of what to do with the man's giggle stick. Presumably he no longer wants it... but is he really in any state to make such a choice?

Full story here: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/london/6586879.stm

I think there are a lot of important issues bubbling under the surface of this apparently hilarious story which need to be discussed, with as many different terms for a ram-rod utilised as possible.

Oh, yeah, sorry. I just felt that I didn't really want it anymore.

ROFL!

That is seriously screwed up..

...

Oh... kay?

Left to his own devices, he would have had a fry-up afterwards, and the issue of what to do with the "item" would go away.

Well, if we take this act to be a furious, incandescent expression of the modern emasculation and erosion of the Male Figure, which I think we all do, consuming one's own purple helmeted junket plunger would also consume the issue itself. Then what would be the point to the Man Victim or the world at large?

No, better to have it dangle literally and figuratively in people's faces. Let THEM eat at the Table of Tallywhacker. Bet it don't taste so sweet.

But you raise an interesting point, nonetheless.

Sounds like an excellent punishment for sex offenders, Free Republic members, and mullahs.

Haha! I was going to mention the whole paedo-thang, but I couldn't be bothered to dig up that old piece of idiocy.

Good on ya, Pat.

I read in an article a few years back that the best penis-reattachment surgeons are in Thailand, where it is common for jilted wives to dewang their husbands.

Thank you, Nate. I will cherish this information to the grave.

Ugg, that must of hurt quite a bit...bet the other costumers couldnt get out fast enough.

I thought it was that age old link with the guy providing stepbystep instructions on how to cut off your own penis, complete with pictorial instructions.

Anyone else remember this?

Don't remind me.



I've only just gotten over the nightmares.

Unfortunately? No I'd say we're all quite fortune this idiot can no longer breed.

Havoc

No SHIT!
 

This from the article,

"This happened in a matter of seconds and was obviously extremely frightening and distressing for the many customers and staff in the restaurant at the time."

"distressing for the many customers"

This would have to be the understatment of a lifetime .

Could be that the nut case came back because he wanted to leave A TIP :p

Crazy guy. Who hates their manhood enough to chop it off? Oh well, no masturbation for him.

Most of your posts have been most amusing. Teh lulz.

So what's happening to the man? He's stable, but is he going to be charged, or what?

And I think we'd all like an actual logical reason why he may have done this. Which there isn't one. Well, I can't think of one, can you?

You have to be joking! My uncle's got a girlfriend in Thailand!

What a Moron. No sex for him.

He can still get shafted fine, though. If he wanted to.

hmm,interessting
thank christ it wasn't a macdonalds or they'd be fishing out a deep fried penis

McDonalds would probably chop the thing up and serve it on a burger, knowing them. I've heard so many rumours of them spitting in the food.

http://www.funnyjunk.com/funny_pictu...s+New+Nuggets/

Sorry for going off topic. -.-

Lulz at the deep fried penis. But that news story sounded really random, I mean is it every day a guy walks into an Italian-named restaurant and finds a knife, to only cut of his own penis?

That reminds me of this joke about a leper and a prostitute.

Hmm what a strange man. (First post btw)

Or the one about how you pay a mohel.

Look, if this guy's stupid enough to hack off his own lower horn, he deserves any non-sexual or painful results. I mean, who with a sane mind takes a knife to their own schlong? If you do it to somebody else, then maybe there's some snaity behind your violent unhinged wang-chopping behaviour, but still...

And first person to get the reference in there wins something.

"Spanish Fry", semifinal episode of Futurama's fourth season.

MAN FINDS CAPS LOCK KEY. PRESSes it. That's better now isn't it?

[QUOTE=Mutual Friend;300356]Breaking News! From Tuesday.

Man walks into a swanky, suspected Italian-named restaurant whereby he rushes to the kitchens, gains possession of a knife and cuts off his own schlong. QUOTE]

I only had to give him 5 dollars too.

By any chance was this guy drunk?

EDIT:
Wait a second I think he was emo....

n00b. What a n00b. I accualy think he was drunk, lol

Please excuse me, this is off topic, but being 36, I'm not up on internet slang. What's a n00b?

Ouch. What was his point of doing this? If he wasn't drunk, did he do this for...ATTENTION?!
EDIT: @oddjobabe, n00b is either a new person (newb) or an idiot that makes no sense, is as thick as wood, and is a complete loser. For example, almost everyone is a n00b when they first register in a forum. They try to be like everyone else, and for example: that matthew guy.

I hope you get it, and I apologize to matthew for using him as a n00b.

I assume he did it because he's emo....

Someone who spams, uses inccorect grammar, and generally doesn't follow the rules. But since i like that word i use when the occasion arises.

EDIT: wow, alot of people post while i type!

But c'mon, i want to know if he was drunk or not. If he wasn't, *cries*

Oh. My. God.

...Seriously?

A noob is someone who is new to something. It isn't spelled n00b.
Also word of the same meaning are: Newb and Nooby though I may of spelt that last one wrong.
Also are there adult emos?

Incorrect. A newb is someone new to something. A noob is a stupid person, regardless of experience. For a real life example, Barack Obama is a newb to presidency. Noam Chomsky is a noob to politics.