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-   -   Jacking Off. (And other sexual adventures.) (http://www.oddworldforums.net/showthread.php?t=12452)

Statikk HDM 07-10-2005 03:35 PM

Jacking Off. (And other sexual adventures.)
 
Don't you hate it when someone is asked if they masturbate and they say no? Isn't it infuriating? Why are these people so uptight that they just can cop to masturbating? Its ridiculous.
I bring this up because I actually got into a screaming argument with someone over this. He's 18, doesn't have a girlfriend, and spends 9 and a half months out of the year at a boarding school but he said he's never and I mean NEVER done it. I said he was full of shit. He was offended because I called him a liar, etcetera and so forth. Well, this got me to thinking. You know in American Pie 2 where they have the rule of 3. Here is my corollary to that rule
Statikk's Rule of Masturbation
When you ask someone how frequently they do it a week/month/year, have done it in their life time add 1 and multiply that result by 1.5

Rich 07-10-2005 03:41 PM

:

You jack off.
Well duh, who doesn't? :rolleyes:

Alcar 07-10-2005 03:42 PM

I don't like people who lie about it either, because you know it's so obviously true that they do it. However, most people don't have any problem talking about it, or admitting it, or at least, the people I hang with don't.

It's an interesting subject, simply because it leads onto sex. And sex is always interesting. So it makes for good discussions! :p

Alcar...

sligster 07-10-2005 04:28 PM

:

You jack off.
so?

>.>

PerfectKirbyJr 07-10-2005 04:31 PM

And? So what if I do? XD

Kimon 07-10-2005 05:06 PM

Holy moly! EVERYONE masturabates! Except girls... I'm not sure about them...

Any female forum members want to speak up, here? C'mon, I'm interested! :fuzzle:

MojoMan220 07-10-2005 05:08 PM

Girls do it to, I should know, I overheard a conversation.

AquaticAmbi 07-10-2005 05:20 PM

:

Holy moly! EVERYONE masturabates! Except girls... I'm not sure about them...

Any female forum members want to speak up, here? C'mon, I'm interested! :fuzzle:

*Takes a deep breath and raises hand* Gasporz!

Although it's pretty rare compared to guys. At least for me, anyway.

While I don't care for the lying, I think it's far worse when a random person asks someone they don't even know if they do it. I think it's acceptable to lie about it (but better not to answer at all) if you're offended by the person asking. Stupid guys at my school like to embarrass girls by asking about masturbationy habits.

Most girls will say, "No! Eww! That's gross!" I think the majority of them are just too shy to admit it, or if it's from said random boys, they're afraid of simply saying, "It's none of your business" because they fear being made fun of. Or something.

Bottom line: There's absolutely nothing wrong with self-exploration. I believe it's quite healthy.

Kimon 07-10-2005 05:26 PM

:

Girls do it to, I should know, I overheard a conversation.

OmG REELy!? U R tEH smrt!!

:

There's absolutely nothing wrong with self-exploration. I believe it's quite healthy.

*Nods knowingly*

I don't see why it's a must-do for guys, but a taboo for girls (at least girls among guys). Must be a testosterone thing. *shrugs*

Tee-hee! Girls do it too! :blush:

AquaticAmbi 07-10-2005 05:34 PM

Hah, more like a society-induced thing, I think. Guys are supposed to be obsessed with sex and girls are considered slutty if they like sexual pleasure just as much as a guy... or some kind of garbage along those lines.

I do know at least one female friend who never ever does it. I've never asked her why, but I'm sure she's being sincere as we share pretty deep secrety stuffs. I guess she just never feels like it. Plus, she has long nails, and that may not end well. >.O

Kimon 07-10-2005 05:37 PM

:

Hah, more like a society-induced thing, I think. Guys are supposed to be obsessed with sex and girls are considered slutty if they like sexual pleasure just as much as a guy... or some kind of garbage along those lines.

Same as every prejudice, I guess. Whatevah.

:

Plus, she has long nails, and that may not end well.

I can only imagine. Oww-ewww.

Nepharski 07-10-2005 08:00 PM

:

Don't you hate it when someone is asked if they masturbate and they say no? Isn't it infuriating? Why are these people so uptight that they just can cop to masturbating? Its ridiculous.

I'm going to take a, "Leap," here and, "Guess," that not everyone is comfortable with that subject of discussion. Just a hunch...and a fairly acurate one if I say so myself.

Dipstikk 07-10-2005 08:17 PM

*raises hand and waves wildly*

Ooh! Ooh! Pick me! I do it! I do it!

What do you mean by "modesty?" :D

Dino 07-10-2005 08:23 PM

Once upon a time there was a thread where some bright sparks worked out that we all wank, but not all of us admit it. And they all went home and masturbated happily ever after.

The end.

Or is it?

Has anyone considered the possibility that some people just don't wank? I mean, I don't... I find the thought of it to be really unattractive, and I find that sexual desires usually result in me having sex with a person as opposed to my paw, but I get the feeling that you people are just so hung up on the fact that wanking is bad that you feel like less of a decent person whenever you come across someone who says that they do not tenderise the crotch sausage, so you accuse them of lying. o_0 I don't really understand how you can say you accept that masturbating is normal if you feel guilty whenever you encounter someone who doesn't make love to his hand.

Munch's Master 07-11-2005 01:40 AM

Yeah, I do, not constantly, but now and then. So what? Most people do and I don't freak out when others say they don't. If they don't geniunely, that's fine, they might not like it. If they say they don't but do, that's their problem.

:

Stupid guys at my school like to embarrass girls by asking about masturbationy habits.

Exactly the same at my school. I don't ask the girls but a couple of d!ckheads do and, I won't say anymore.

Hobo 07-11-2005 01:45 AM

My girl claims she's never tried it, which i do find hard to believe , but again could well be true. Long nails again.

A stupidly large amount of men do it, and so i don't understand why it's deemed taboo (even if it is a lesser taboo than that of female masturbation) Bah. Society blows.

sligster 07-11-2005 01:48 AM

o noes!!!11

http://www.forumspile.com/You-Are-Masturbating-Pope.jpg

Munch's Master 07-11-2005 03:03 AM

Lol that's a classic joke pic. Heh, I still laugh each time I see it.

Leeum 07-11-2005 06:10 AM

Oh boy, I go AWOL for a while and come back to queer ass threads like this :p j/k
It's up to people what they want to do with their body, if someone doesn't do it then I don't jip them, they loose out ;)

AquaticAmbi 07-11-2005 08:23 AM

Well, while looking at my User CP, I noticed two things I've overlooked, one which is related to this.

Unrelated: I've left an S out of Tennessee for months in my location.
Related: I have long nails. (See avatar.) They haven't been this long until recently. So yeah, that should give you an idea of how uncommon it is for me. And stuff. Besides, when your significant other lives a couple minutes away, it's not a big deal. :D

Anywho, Stattik, I didn't ask this earlier, but I feel like doing it now: Why does it bother you so much whether people tell the truth or not about? Could Dino's theory be true? I mean, it's really nothing to get in a screaming argument about it.

Rex Tirano 07-11-2005 09:05 AM

My friends never egenerally talk about it, and if it's brought up everyone screams "eww god no!"... Okay so I over exaggerate. But most of my friends deny doing it [apart from my best friends, and we share everything together so... Yeah.]. Which is utter bull... But anyway...

I generally don't masterbate. But that doesn't mean I don't. I just don't really like it unless I'm super horny.

So... Yeah. Good thread. ;)

- Rexy

Statikk HDM 07-11-2005 10:09 AM

Dino: No, its not because I do it so much that I disbelieve people automatically. Hey, if you say you don't like it and you very seldomly do it, fine. But to out and out lie, to say that you've never even done it once is offensive to me. I don't like liars.
It reminds me of a parable that Jesus taught about money. And the end of it goes like this(paraphrase)
"Who can be trusted with small things can be trusted with great things. The converse is also true."
Basically, my stance is that if you lie about small things like speeding or wanking, you probably lie a lot about things that matter.

Rich 07-11-2005 10:16 AM

I wank because I don't have anyone to have sex with and I don't like waking up in a sticky bed. :D
I don't do it too much as that's rather perverted and wrong and it makes you have nasty veins. And it makes me feel guilty afterwards. :p

I don't care if other people wank or not or wether they lie about it. My best friend told me he wanks as he said he woke up after having a wet dream. Not nice.

Esus 07-11-2005 10:16 AM

Yeah, lying is plain offensive.

As I was saying, I've never masturbated ever in my life. I consider it vulgar, ugly and plain dirty, and I will never do it.
Oh yeah, I must be lying because you do it! Your logic is impeccable.

Coolmanbizkit 07-11-2005 10:33 AM

Masturbating is healthy for men because it flushes out the system which can sometimes cause cancer... Or something like that.

Rich 07-11-2005 10:39 AM

:

Masturbating is healthy for men because it flushes out the system which can sometimes cause cancer... Or something like that.
Thats a great way of justifying something vulgar that is done just for your own pleasure. :p

Coolmanbizkit 07-11-2005 10:42 AM

:

Thats a great way of justifying something vulgar that is done just for your own pleasure. :p

Eh? (sorry im a dumbass, I dont really know what vulgar means)

big bro boogie 07-11-2005 10:53 AM

:

I wank because I don't have anyone to have sex with and I don't like waking up in a sticky bed.
I don't do it too much as that's rather perverted and wrong and it makes you have nasty veins. And it makes me feel guilty afterwards.

Why are you me?
(Yeah, I do it too... you're not alone... :p )

:

Masturbating is healthy for men because it flushes out the system which can sometimes cause cancer... Or something like that.

That's true. Read this if you don't believe me.

Kimon 07-11-2005 11:00 AM

:

Eh? (sorry im a dumbass, I dont really know what vulgar means)

Rude or gross.

Coolmanbizkit 07-11-2005 11:01 AM

:

Rude or gross.

Oh right, Thanks

Dipstikk 07-11-2005 11:05 AM

I'm very open about it.

WITH MY FRIENDS.

Mom knows, but I just don't bring it up.

TheRaisin 07-11-2005 01:48 PM

:

Mom knows, but I just don't bring it up.

There must be a great story behind that.

I find it funny when people are horribly offended by the suggestion that they masturbate, or even the question of whether they do or not. Granted, it does seem to carry more of a negative or taboo stigma for women than for men, but still... "OMG I don't masturbate how dare you accuse me of that you don't know me man!!11111". I assume that people who freak out about it that much either A) do it and are embarassed about it or B) are one of those (sorry about this) highly religious freaks, you know the type, "God has his eye on you every single second and he's recording all your sins and you're gunna go to HELL". Strange.

But I can completely accept that some people don't do it.

Rich 07-11-2005 01:56 PM

Lol, I've never been discovered. :p

Just emotionally blackmail 'em with tales of cancer and washing bed sheets!

Coolmanbizkit 07-11-2005 02:02 PM

If its against your religion to masturbate, The god of that religion must want it to be a possiblilty of getting Prostate cancer. Or whatever cancer it could cause

Esus 07-11-2005 02:34 PM

Yay, more bullshit.

big bro boogie 07-11-2005 03:22 PM

:

Lol, I've never been discovered.

Damn, YOU ARE ME!
That's why I have these err... Deja Vu's all the time... you're 1 year older than me.

Rich 07-11-2005 03:31 PM

:

Damn, YOU ARE ME!
That's why I have these err... Deja Vu's all the time... you're 1 year older than me.

Lol. 2 years actually, I'm nearly 16.

And if you are me, you can look forward to not getting any action off hot girls. Or any girls for that matter. God damn, life sucks. :p

Dino 07-11-2005 03:32 PM

:

Dino: No, its not because I do it so much that I disbelieve people automatically. Hey, if you say you don't like it and you very seldomly do it, fine. But to out and out lie, to say that you've never even done it once is offensive to me. I don't like liars.

I never said I've never experienced it. I said that I don't masturbate. I've had boyfriends/girlfriends do it to me but I've NEVER done it to myself - I never found out about it, it never occured to me on my own, and instead learned about sex first through my friends - I associated sexual urges with screwing people, and that is admittedly what I did. Not too often of course, but I've probably gotten laid more times during my teenage years than most as a result.

It got to a stage where one day I said to someone "what does 'wank' mean?" and when he took me to a quiet spot and explained it, I was kinda weirded out that anyone would be lonely enough to actually do that to themselves. As it turns out, I was the only one of the kids I spoke to who actually had sex as much as I said I did, and the rest of them had a wank instead. :p So now that I understand it as being normal and me being a bit strange for just bonking whoever I'm attracted to whenever I get horny it doesn't bother me that people do it, I just don't ever do it to myself.

big bro boogie 07-11-2005 03:40 PM

:

Lol. 2 years actually, I'm nearly 16.

And if you are me, you can look forward to not getting any action off hot girls. Or any girls for that matter. God damn, life sucks.

*Sniffs*
Oh, Jesus. Why does your life has to be soo damn bad?
If I ever meet you at OWF's first member-meeting, remind me to try and kill you.
And if I'll do it, I'll do it... With a plastic spoon. *Laughs evily and hard* :p

Ok, so I really wont. (As It affects my Karma for both killing and suicide, you lucky bastad.) :p

Dino 07-11-2005 03:44 PM

Wow now there's a good idea... OWF UK member's meetup. That'd be awesome.