Weird experiences.
 

This thread should be called "Crazy shit" but I thought I'd be polite.

Just...post strange things that've happened to you. Probably in the vein of my hamburger story. Which actually happened.

I'll ask me friend to email his interpretation of my "Taxi Adventure" to me, it's a grim bloody fable.

Are you trying to con me into believing that hamburgers are clogging my arteries? Again?

That actually reminds me of a strange tale where I

Well, I've seen a couple of UFOs, though I've probably recycled those stories before here.

Ghost, stay off that damn LSD.

This isn't the strangest of experiences, but a few years ago down at the bar, another fellow tried to 'pick me up', even seeing that my wife was over at the table. It's funny looking back on it, but at the same time, it makes my stomach churn thinking of what he may have had in mind.

I don't do drugs. They're baaaaad.

Three years ago I ejaculated in my face... I was terrified and I cryed all the day... It's the worst thing it happened to me :(

Best.

Post.

EVAR!


Also, I've done it tonnes of times. Don't see what's so scary about it.

I was attacked by an autistic girl at Wendys the other day.

Me and my buddy had just gotten done Christmas shopping and decided to head to Wendys for a quick bit to eat. After I had ordered my food I went and stood at the back of where the line would start *it was empty at the time* and went into a daydream state, while waiting for my buddy to finish his order.

As I stood there I was suddenly stirred back to reality by the feeling of someone kicking me in the back of my leg. I immediately thought that it must be someone I know just joking around and trying to get my attention. So I began to turn around and see who it could possibly be when in mid turn a hand grabbed my shirt and yanked my forward. At this point I was really confused and began thinking that I doubt a friend of mine would take it this far, and if they did I would have to kick their ass.

So I yanked my self back upright to see a girl holding onto my shirt with one hand and with her other arm and legs flailing about. I realized that I didn't quite recognize her so I yelled "hey!". Still holding onto my tray I managed to push her back at which point she slapped me in my side. I was now debating whether or not I was gonna have to beat her down with my tray when a women came up and pushed here away saying she was so sorry and that her daughter was autistic. I kinda found if funny and started to say it was ok when the girl came back and karate kicked my in my side.

After that the mother pushed her even further away. In the end I escaped with my life and the mother had to take her out of Wendys; it was horriffic...

Happens quite often when pulling out at the last second. No big deal.

Whoa, you lot have had some pretty weird experiences. Mine don't even compare. I feel sorry for you Oddsville too. I would be terrified if I got attacked by someone I didn't know, whether they were autistic or not.

A woman who was running a sausage stall...was a vegetarian. That's not something you see everyday.

I was at a Market Day at Trellissick (I think that's how you spell it) Gardens with all of this Cornish Produce in food and crafts and stuff like that. We started passing a sausage stall and my friend sampled a piece of sausage. Now, I am a vegetarian (Note: I am not one of those that's a vegetarian for Animal Rights, I just don't like the taste or texture of meat.) When my friend tried one, she looked at me and said 'I don't suppose you'll be trying it' and I thought I'd apologise to the woman running the stall and say why I wouldn't try a sausage to be polite. I said 'No, sorry, I'm a vegetarian' and the woman running the stall said 'It's okay, so am I. I married the wrong man.' It turned that her husband runs a sausage business and she has to help out. It just struck me as a bit odd that a vegetarian is running a stall with sausages on. She said she was fine as long as she didn't have to touch the meat.

My little blunder when trying to kick someone up the ass.

It was my second day of my new school in the Sixth Form. I had made friends with a group of people and we were sitting on the sofas in the common room. One of them was being a pain in the ass and stepping on everyone's feet. I got up to stamp on his foot back and he lifted his legs high in air so I couldn't get to his feet. But his ass was in my sight. So I did a stomp kick to where I thought it would be appropiate (sp?) on his ass. So I did the kick and suddenly he made a really painful noise and it was suddenly obvious that instead of doing a stomp kick on his ass, I had stomp kicked him in the nuts. I'm just wondering 'His ass is huge, how could I have missed his ass?!'

If you want it off, there's no need to wash it away with tears, just dab it off with a tissue.

Apparantly, I punched Emily in my sleep. I remember nothing about this.

Pay attention. There's a professional talking.

That is the worst thing that has ever happened to you? You really are a hardcore punk!

This post was gonna say "No goddammit post paranormal shit." But Oddsville's experience was downright batshit insane.

GET IT

Anyway, for the first time in as long as I can remember, Trenton was empty. If you don't know where that is, it's 10KM from Belleville, a city 45 Minutes from Kingston, Which is about half of a quarter of a day from Ottawa, which is roughly 240 Miles from Toronto, which is about an hour from Peterborough, which is two hours from Trenton.

Anyway, my friend and I decided to ride our bikes into Wal-Mart because we're total losers. It was windy out, and thus, the whole town had apparently seeped inside itself. This wind was strong enough to send HUGE panes of ice gliding over the water, albeit briefly. My first inkling that this ride was a bad idea was when I saw a shadow dog. Or Shadow Cat. I think Shadow Cat is copyrighted, whatever. Predominantly referred to as "Shadow People", what I saw was roughly the size of a bulldog, and it just cruised between a pair of parking stops. I assumed it was a garbage bag or a cat, but nope, in the alley beyond (The only place it could've been), there was nothing. Coincidentally, I'd estimate it was roughly the size of the Grey lump that Jordan saw, but I'm getting WAY ahead of myself.
Later on, across a bridge under which the ice was taking to the air, I saw another one, this time about the size of a man, slip behind a lamppost. I didn't comment on it.

More later.

I stole a blanket at a sleep over in my sleep once. In the morning I had ended up with someone else's blanket and someone else had mine. Apparently he had woken up from the cold and stolen my blanket for stealing his. I had no clue.

Shadow people scare me.

Nothing worth posting comes to mind. Other than the time I saw someone shoot someone else in the jaw. On accident. Thank god I wasn't a nurse at that point. The person that was shot looked dirty, and I doubt that there would have been any gloves within reach.

Presumably severely autistic, but even so, that's on an excuse. May be more difficult to treat/raise or whatever, but such behaviour should be entirely unavoidable, especially considering from the sound of your post I assume she's more than 5 years old. If you can't handle them yourself, get the appropriate help to teach them and control such behaviour (this in particular sounds quite extreme too, in either level of mental difference or lack of proper care). I'm autistic, only mildly but even so, I never even thought about doing such a thing, and I didn't/don't exactly have all that much outside help whatsoever (though getting to type out my exams with extra time is always useful :D)

I recall some years ago I woke up early in the morning, my cousin still asleep as they were sleeping over. I wanted a drink, and found my cup full, quite forgetting I had initially drunk it the night before. Finding it tasted absolutely vile, I spat it back in the cup and washed my mouth out with tap water in the bathroom, which is obviously something considering my extreme dislike for water's taste, tap water especially, and my age at the time reduced my tolerance. I figured I'd left the squash too long overnight and thus it had gone funny.
I was later told my aunt, the mother of my cousins, had apparently seen me sleepwalking (since I didn't remember doing it, obviously) and urinating in the aforementioned cup. Argh. It tasted as one would expect it to taste, I'm sure. Only occurence of sleep-doing-things that's happened to me too.

I was particularly early at the bus stop this morning, trying to leave the party house before having to clean any shit up.

I am somewhat surly as I'm sleep deprived and slightly hung over. I have this habit of jiggling my leg all the time, this morning to an extreme extent as it was early and there were very few people around. One angry middle aged woman comes and sits next to me and says:

"Stop moving your legs like a madman!"

to which I reply: "It's involuntary, I have spastic nerve endings in my knees."

To my surprise, she didn't quite catch the sarcasm. She suddenly became overly empathetic, and handed me a $10 note in a "Oh you poor thing" kind of fashion. at this point I humour her; My bus comes quite early, so I stand up and walk to it in a ridiculous fashion, walking like a gorilla with parkinsons.

You gotta really earn your bus money these days.

^HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH^

Fuck, it isn't letting me posrep you right now, but that's fucking hysterical. Literal lol

Woooooh. Umm, let's see. The past few months, nothing has really happened. THE END

I...

I just don't know what to say to that.

I haven't stopped laughing. Oh wow.

I had another weird experience today, rather I witnessed one.

I was running really late on the bus this morning, and halfway to town someone else gets on. After about 15 seconds of the bus standing stationary with one guy still talking to the bus driver, I take my headphones off to see what the fucks up.

At this point I notice that the new passenger is holding a 2 litre milk jug with what looks like his own urine.

The driver is getting pretty fed up with whatever this guy is saying, and asks him for the fare. The passenger then proceeds to slowly unbelt his pants, and pulls them down just above his knees, and reaches into his underpants looking for something (presumably money).

He does this for about 30 seconds before the bus driver tells him to sit down and pay later.

It's just really something you don't see everyday. He ended up not paying. He looked completely normal and sober, too.

I was walking my dog on a road that goes through the woods near my house one night, no lights around. At first I enjoyed moving through the pure darkness and eventually I came out of the woods and I decided to rest/stare at the stars for a little while before returning home. So, I walk back into the woods and I hear this weird sighing/growling sound and braches snaping on the ground. Worried that it was some evil woodland carnivore, I decided to take the long way home instead, avoiding any woods. On the way home I have to pass this house with really territorial dogs that bark at any intruder within a 50 ft. radius. They belong to a farming family. Well, I have a thing about farmers in the middle of no-where with really yappy dogs. Texas Chainsaw Massacre kind of phobia, so I decided to turn around. After several moments of trying to decide whether I should confront my fear of psychopathic hicks or getting mauled to death, I decided to sneak by whatever was in the woods even though deep down I knew trying to be silent wouldn't really give me any stealth. Halfway through, a car passed by and I ran like a maniac thinking it masked my presence for a bit.

I think I've shared this one before, but this is my most recent "weird" experience. Although there was the mingling with demented old people.

My first ever orgasm was in a wet dream of a starfish tentacle raping me.

Cool.

Was it a starfish Digimon? They're real, you know.

Yes that is the worst thing, because I hate the semen's odor and I hate the semen!!! I'm not a gay, I don't drink semen!!! Anyway my life is sXe.

Another terrible experience: I've been stung by a bee... on my upper lip!!!

By a bee? What on earth were you doing? Trying to kiss it?

No, I was walking near the beehive and I am jinxed.

Was your lip covered in semen at the time?