Everyone reads it, but doesn't care.

I wish I didn't get period pains so badly.

You have no periods, your pregnant with fathers baby, thats why you have no periods.

I wish I was on vacation.

Granted but when on vacation a hurricane hits and you get sucked up and hit by a cow.

I wish I had chocolate

Granted, but you then get fat and break out in pimples.

I wish I knew what to draw.

You know what to draw, then your hands pop off and you cant draw it.

I wish I was raised by a cup of coffee!

Granted, but then you smell so nice, people break into your house and put you in a smelling Zoo.

I wish I had a pet dog

It goes on the run after attacking a girl in a swimming pool...Like in that dream I had...

I wish the trolls would get therapy.

Granted but they send the bill to you

I wish I was jack black

yes you are but then all your films bomb then some druggys kidnap you and do coke off your scrotum

Damn... ;)

And Laser... you seem to be wishing for a wish? Granted. But I won't give you a wish since I am to corrupt it.... yeah. That made sense...


I wish I had what I wanted.

You have all the money and women in the world....And yet, it is not enough....You want to become God, but since you can't do that, you get sad instead.

I wish I didn't have to get off soon.

Why I like to get off.

Ok, you can stay till your 95, maybe Oddworld will have a new game by then.




I wish Oddworld had a new game......................NOW. :D

Well, they rush to make the game in accordance to your request, and well... in the rush, the disk isn't properly created, and destroys your xbox/Playstation/Wii or whatever console it is on...sorry.



I wish I had Deadric armor.

Granted, your speeling arror makes your Deadric Armour appear. You put it on and die, as it had an enchantment that does 1000000000 damage to your health, muahahahahahahaaa whatever...

I wish I had Daedric Armour with no damn suprises, like a goblin popping out of no where and killing me.

Granted, you get entirely predictable Daedric Armour, but you get bored with it and throw it away, causeing the two universes to collide and destroy each other.

I wish I could drink as much alchohol as I wanted and still pass the breathalyser.

Granted, you drink all the alcohol you can too test it, but it seems they have upgraded the Breathalyser so it has magic corrupting capabilities, calling it the Corruptalyser, and you are sent to jail for 10 decades.

I wish for a way to kill people and dispose of their corpses, but without touching them or hiring someone to do the job.

Granted, you can tear people to shreds just by thinking it, and make their bodies dissapear. However, a genius detective with a single letter codename finds out and sends you to your execution. Yay for Elfen Lied/ Death Note crossovers. Yay.

I wish I didn't have OCD. I wish I didn't.

Wish granted.
Now you don't have ocd but then they find out thatocd is the key to long life so everyone gets it and lives forever but you die at the age of 40 alone and uncared...

I wish i wasn't so weak

Granted. Your now even weaker.

I wish for moar chocolate.

Granted but you choke on it

I wish for a skeleton key

Granted, you finally open that door you have always wanted to open. You open it and inside you find a...a...a...black hole and you get sucked in and teleported to Oddworld, and everyone says you look different. You meet Abe, but he is evil, and he possesses you then blows you up. Then a scrab eats your remains and you are dead. YOU ARE DEAD.

I wish for a cheesy scrab head!

The cheesy head is on a cheesy scrab. That eats you.

I wish I had more music on my mp3 player.

Granted. It has so much music it implodes upon playing a song and you are killed.

I wish I had some BOILER!

You are shot for randomness

I wish I worked in a gun shop.

You drop a gun and are shot in a freak accident.

I wish the sound on my speaker worked.....It just stopped making sound for no reason...

Granted, It works but its on full volume and you were listening too some loud rock music and you became deaf forever!

I wish I had an iRack which had 10 different colour settings and a cup of boiler.

Wish granted!
Unfortuantly bill gates notices this and in a matrix spin off microsoft and apple have a war with loads of computers and reality warping abuilities wihich is so cool that your eyes burn up in coolness.Then Bill gates finds you with your iRack and you are exicuted by Bill himself for being a heretic.

I wish that this thread got too 1000 posts

The thread gets locked a 999 posts

I wish for nothing.

Granted, but you wished for nothing, and the whole universe is now nothing. You have effectively destroyed the universe, thus life never existing and nothing is ever there and nothing ever exists.

I wish for a hot shower.

Granted but the shower is too hot and you suffer serious 3rd degree burns

I wish for a nintendo wii.

You get a Nintendo Puu instead, and the place starts to smell like a toilet.

I wish I didn't have to go to school. *is looking forward to graduation in 2 years time*

Granted, but you got feral and attack people, you grow fangs and claws and get shipped off to a zoo.

I wish my children werent born dead.

What a dreadfully morbid child you are... Your family and friends are stricken with grief, and shun you for making such a wish.

I wish I had beef jerkey.

You choke on it.

I wish I knew who made Nate gay....Hmm, I probably already posted this before...Oh well...

You find out it was you!

I wish for a guitar.

But....I am a female!

It gets smashed when Chubfish sits on it.

I wish I had more free time.

Granted, but you may only spend it in a room with no oxygen in it. And then the guitar I sat on falls on your head and breaks your spine (I actually own a guitar...). Then I uh...throw your corspe into a volcano then spread your ashes into another volcano and spread the dust from that volcano onto a carpet, then hoover it up through a vacuum cleaner. After that, I toss the vacuum cleaner in the volcano and my job is done. For now.

I wish for a better guitar (my one is sorta wrecked in many ways by someone who I don't know of, guess who!).

Granted, but some hippies mugg you and nick your guitar and clothes, and shave your hair off.

I wish I had a guard dog called Fluffy.

Granted, but Fluffy is too fluffy, and when trying at attack someone it rams into you and you fall into a sewer.

I wish I could go out at day time.

Granted, but now you can't go out at night.

I wish... for... an Intern. Right here. So I can hug him.