told him his mom was cheating on Larry the lobster so he ran home crying to Patrick and they had a great time in bed. Then John the cow....
Oddling l:c l |
...said "Hey, can I join you guys?" So Spongebob and Patrick let him join, so then Squidword heard the noises and came over, wanting to join. But they didn't want him to, so Squidword decided that they were Squid Racist, so he started this huge thing saying that they were all Squid racist, and it was all over the news! So John the Cow got mad and...
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ate a McDonalds cheeseburger. No he was not a canable, they never use real meat at McDonalds, so here he was munching on this fake-o-burger in his little beat up Escort, when all of a sudden he saw Jennifer Lopez and Bob the Builder making out behind a bush, so he called Ben Affleck to tell him J Lo was cheating on him and....
Oddling l:c l |
that a burglar was ringing the door bell. They answered the door and the burglar in his English accent said "I am burglar! I like to burgle people, will you let me in?" And they said....
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..."OK, can you burgul my best friend's cousin's brother's uncle's land lord's arch enemy? He lives accross the street from Winnie the Pooh, so that should be easy to find." So the Burguler said "OK, I can do that!" So he ran to the Hundered acer wood where Winnie the Pooh lives and went accross the street, and he saw...
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Frodo making out with Hermione. So he burgled them while they weren't looking and ran away with all sorts of crap. Once the authors of LOTR and Harry Potter found out about Frodo and Hermione's making out, they decided to kill their characters out of their books and replace them with small time actors such as Leo Decaprio and Sylvester Stilone. Once the characters were replaced they....
Oddling l:c l |
...were tortured by an angry mob of LOTR and HP fans, hoping the authers would change it back! So then...
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...J.K. Rowling changed it back so she wouldn't die, but Tolkien was allready dead, but he changed it back anyway, so then...
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he went into a hallway where he found hundreds of burning cattle that surpriseingly were still alive. Suddenly a thrown out of the cieling came down and John the cow was sitting in it. He said...
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..."Owww,that fire is hot!" so he came out of the fire, just as 700000 slices of turkey ham came running at him! Then he...
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....made a big sandwich and fed a starving chinese fishing village that'd gone on strike. The citizens thanked John the Cow for his generosity and offered to give him the "sword of Owwthathurt" if he helped remove the smell of dead fish from there town. So.....
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...he ran around spraying something that smelled like green apples, but green apples and dead fish made a leathal scent that killed the entire fishing village. So, he took the "Sword of Owwthathurt" anyway! Why didn't he die you ask? Because he's a cow!! Then...
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.....He found out that the sword of Owwthathurt could make cheesecake, so he ate some topped with cherries, but at that moment, underwater sea-monkies burst into John the Cows humble abode and stole the.....
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...cheesecake! Then he ran after them with a fork and a glass of milk and grabbed them and ate them on top of the cheesecake!!!Then he...
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...shook his ass, slapped his nose and hailed Mary to save him from whispering sordid visions of....
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ducks with chronic...
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Dot Crotch. A horrible desease when a braty child points a laser pointer at your genital area, causing you to take off your pants, to find the dot is on your knob, and showing it to the hole world. These ducks needed John the Cow's help desperatly, but unfourtonatly he was in the hospital with a devestating desease caused by eating sea-monkeys, cheesecake, and cherries called.....
Oddling l:c l |
....evil cherries of Death! The only reson John the Cow bought them is because they were the cheapest ones at the store! Oh well, so as John lay on his hospital bed dying, he then realized that....
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... he just missed Jerry Springer on TV and never got to screw the horse next door. While he was frowning and pondering about his newfound possessions of sea-monkeys and cheesecakes, the doctor came up to him laughing and said....
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..."Have you seen Gigli?" And John said, "No, I heard that it's horrible!" So the Doc said "I liked it, DIE!!!" So he stabbed John the Cow with a surgical tool and...
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.... sold him off to McDonalds where he was relished as several big macs by all the happy meal kids. However, John still managed to get his own revenge after his death when...
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as a newly created demon of the underworld, John the satan cow crept through the ventilation shaft and started spewing forth noxious death juices and fumes. As the fumes started creeping down the doctors throat he
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sneezed and they both exploded into cherry blossoms swimming through the air. Meanwhile, I arrived in Disneyland to find...
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it was being destroyed by a huge, man-eating Saddam Hussain!
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Named MechStreisand. It however, was soon beaten by an infamous young Lupin warrior named Blabbershmutsassafrass. His title as infamous soon turned to outfamous and all over the world he...
Oddling l:c l |
...was known for eating small breed puppies! Then, who should come along, but Barbra Striesand, the cousin to the Saddam lookalike thing, she had come to blind Blabbershmutsassafrass with her horrible looks! But then...
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...she flipped by kon-da-kutri-basm. "What do you mean by 'flipped by kon-da-kutri-basm'?" I hear you ask. I mean....
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...she kicked him in the pants and threw him into a fryingpan and was flipping him like a pancake! When she was done cooking him she...
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....masturbated.....
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...??? Anyway, then she attacked 17 little children and was sent to the closest...
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