Jacob would be assassinated within months of being in office. :|

Now... on topic...

Lets meet up and set the world record record for the biggest mutual masturbation chain. :D

Oh, me and Rich corrently have the world record for longest mutual masterbation, although any masterbation with other people would be fun. ;)

I doubt Jacob would be assasinated, I think that if he was "usurped" his own balls may be cut off. :p Although he'd make a good and sexy overlord. ;)

*Creeps away to find Rich

Oh yeah, lets get it on then... the OWF wankathon.

*I put on my cloak and wizard hat.*

eh mastrubation got nothin else to do right? haha, and yes girls do it not one myself but I know plenty who do, every single one of my many friends is female but how often it depends on the girl just like it does with any guy. the guys who don't have as much testosterone right.

Have any of you heard of a "foot job?" It has got to be the stupidest thing I've ever heard of, the woman takes her fetter and does, well, a handjob only with her feet.

Oh yes, apparantly, 13% of all girls/women have a foot fettish. Weird, but true.

But a foot job... *looks at Rich* Thank god for that, my arm was getting tired. *Takes off sock*

But there's also a boob-job. Where the guy puts his... Thingy... In between the girl's breasts and then he moves up and down till he cums, so he cums in the girls face...

Quick Rich! We HAVE to try this one. ;)

- Rexy

Heck, you've got the easy job, at least mine is easily accessible. And no, I'm NOT putting my foot in there. :p

Excuse me everyone, if you need anything, ask Searex. I'm going to heaven for the next few minutes. I'll bring you all back something nice. :p

What do you prefer, missionary or doggie style? I know where this is going...

For the next few minutes? 3 minutes of heaven for you, but what do I get? Really?

Rich, come here. I think we must try out the whole Karma Sutra before even passing judgement. ;)

- Rexy

this is a very depressing thread..... everybody is so lonely so they resort to talking about what they want on the internet in hopes there not alone.... haha........heh..... I'm alone..... :fuzemb:

Although I personally don't masturbate, I certainly wouldn't considerate (lol, considerate... I genuinely typed that, no joke... I'm slightly drunk) it the act of the lonely man.

What's everyone elses thoughts on this? Wanking; Lonely?

Not really. It's just a nice feeling, y'know. It's better if it's mutual. *looks at Rexy* ;) But solitary has its pleasures if you are that horny. *phones Rexy using hands-free set* :p

I need a beer and a cig....

So logically, you're jacking right now?

Kinky. :lick:

Nah, I just think wanking = in HEET. You could be in a relantionship going nowhere, so you got to say hi to Jack.

But if no relationship, you're lonely or in HEET.

no wasn't jacking off, I'm at my brother's house I save that for my own bed........ still rather have a beer and a cig. and I do have a relationship.

(10 chars ^_^)

Here's a controversial one; have you ever masturbated over a photograph of someone here at the forums?

(LOL I KNOEZ!)

You're such a bitch. :p

Yes, I have. I don't feel guilty about it or consider myself shallow because the person knew about it, was flattered with me and encouraged me to do it.

Isn't that right Dino, my good friend. ;)

Such naughty, kinky lies. :lick:

They're not lies. You're fully aware of the fact that I jack off to Super Munch. I was just asking you as a good friend to back up this fact. :p

Bah, I was being serious. But I don't wank over Dino or Super Munch, as much as you may plead and beg. ;)

You can hide nothing from us... ;)

And Dino, was this topic brought up on the memory of photo-boi? :D

That depends on which photo-boi you're talking about, but yeah, probably.

never had a pic of anyone here to wank off too, anybody got one haha.... heh

BWAHAHA! :lol: Somebody has secret admirererers.

Well, for me, no. You're all too ugly. :)

but youve never seen me how do you know if I'm ugly?

No aggresion was origionally intended, but you must be some kind of idiot. O.o Joke? Hello? :nonono:

no not at all.... and I'm not ugly. :P

Has anyone here used a dominatrix? Oh yeah, tell me I've been bad...

I don't get the appeal. But what does that have to do with masturbation?

Completely missing the point of the joke. Jesus Christ. You're a smart one.

Ooh, I have a good question: Has/would anyone call one of those hot lines where you pay for ladies (I'm not sure if there's any men) to talk dirty to you?

No, I wouldn't. But I know a certain someone who would! Super Munch?

Jesus, ten pages already? This is alomst as good as the "And I bet we won't even ban him" thread.

Why would I know? I don't get phone sex lines, they seem so pointless.

Mabye this thread title shoudl be changed to 'the sex thread', because we seem to be wandering off topic...

I find it scary that phone sex exists, I can't imagine even in my most despairing/horny moments I would ever call (and pay!) for something like that

*Loves the reference*

Oddfan, you know you don't have to reply to every single thing said? Especially if you don't have anything to say.

Wanked over a picture of a forum member, what a hilarious question. I've only seen like two pictures of forum members and I think they were both guys. That thread is horrible on a 56k.

I don't think wanking = loneliness. There was a programme on TV about it around a year ago. There were married guys talking about how they do it three times a day.
I don't do it anywhere near that much and I've never even had a girlfriend.

how can a thread about jacking off get some many reply's, most likely oddworld inhabitants uses this forum to learn about it's fans..... and uh well..... we have almost 300 reply's for jacking off and it prbly will continue.... so in oddworld not only will we have burping and farting on command next there will be jacking off haha so everyone keep up the good work. :D

Virginity isn't that big a deal. I didn't really notice it's loss of mine, but i suppose it was because i lost it to someone who i am in love with and felt very comfortable with it all.

I'm up for the wank fest.

And Woman on top pwns.

I agree with Hobo. I am a virgin and I'm proud of it. Besides, you expet ME to get a chick?

I'm a virgin and unfortunately not proud of it. But life goes on...

People, people, you are straying from the wank.
Get back to the wank!

Meh, as you get older people become more open about it. My girlfriend does it all the time. Only problem is she has to use a vibro. She goes through a lot of batteries...

I do it to. I tend to take advantage of myself. Gets hard to look at myself in the mirror when we wake up in the morning. I feel so ashamed...