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Just like WWII.
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Michael Bay presents Jesus.
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"What are you going to do?"
*removes cigarette* ".....I'm going to visit that temple." |
Jesus enters Jerusalem at sunset.
Jesus hosts the Last Supper at sunset. Jesus starts carrying the cross at sunset. Jesus dies on the cross, at sunset. Jesus rises on the dawn of Easter Sunday...at sunset. |
"Jesus! What is the meaning of this?! why have you come here?"
*removes sunglasses* "I'm casting the first stone." *fires rocket launcher into temple* |
"Love and understand this, bitches."
Jesus swordfights a ninja to death. |
Starring Daniel Craig as Jesus, Angelina Jolie as Mary, and Javier Bardem as Judas.
*I know virtually nothing of the Bible. |
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Also, Jesus has a Cthuluesque tentacle penis that he uses for stealth kills. It's also prominently featured in the Mary Magdalene sex scene. |
Have you ever seen Goya's Ghosts? You should already know from No Country for Old Men that he can radiate ebilness.
Christopher Lee then. No, he's also too good. Ah, fuck it. Just put in that guy who played Cipher from The Matrix. |
I think watching that would generate about the same response as watching this.
No way am I embedding that, I have my limits. |
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Yeah, I know he's brill. But seriously, who could play a better Judas?
*This is where I shut up because I still don't know shit about the Bible. :tard: I'm so going to hell. |
iant. You forgot a iant.
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So how about Alan Rickman for Judas? Or would he be better as Pilate? Definitly a black wrestler to play Barrabas. |
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that's just as ignorant as labeling all Christians as stupid (but in this case, the athiests are winning, because for some reason you don't understand how to use apostrophes after nouns... stupid) |
But does evil really exist?
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Yes.
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"Can you smell what Barabas is cooking?"
The Rock'd be better. |
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Jesus needs a fast-talking, squeeky-voiced black sidekick.
Also the Romans need shoulder-mounted laser guns and beam sabers. Wow, this is already shaping up to be another Battlefield Earth. |
Romans? It's the Jews who are made of evil.
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Doom was a funny movie.
Never saw Race to Witch Mountain, is it anything like that other movie where he had that plank of wood and smashed stuff in some place? |
Watching Rock films is a guilty pleasure of mine. The Scorpion King is the very personification of So Bad It's Good.
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