What's funnier than a dead baby?
A dead baby in a clown costume.

you should see the 'Bio Technology' thread. puns go on for about 2 pages.

Sherlock Ohms and the Case of the Broken Capacitor.

That was the best I could come up with.

Baby's Revenge, by Nora Nippelof.
Cliff Suicide, by Yugo First.

shit.

Exploring Egypt by Rhoda Camel.

Harry come quickly, Dumbledore has been in some sort of accident!

OH MY GOD! Was it serious?

No, it was Snape!


Nerdy, yes I know!

When people ask me what I do, I tell them I test rape alarms.

It sounds better than saying I'm a rapist.

EDIT: already posted

Necrophilia:

Putting the fun in funeral

I'm sure the used that joke in the very first episode of Six Feet Under. Minus the necrophilia part.

Q: What did Katie Price's legs say to each other?
A: Nothing - they've never met before.

WHAT DID KATIE PRICE SAY TO KATIE PRICE?

NOTHING BECAUSE KATIE PRICE!!!

LOLOLO

lolwut

actually a mini lirl

mini, but still existent

more of a slight chuckle

yes

What did Deadpool say to the joker?

"You're funny."

What did the joker say to Deadpool?

"You're crazy."


This is like 'HIT OR MISS: THE JOKE!'

They're bringing out a new Barbie doll called "Internet Barbie", which is really a fat guy claiming to be a hot blonde.

please stop

how did the tightrope-walker die?

a massive brain haemorrhage, 6 broken ribs and a snapped spine. David Franks and a few other workers at the circus were meant to properly secure the safety net underneath James (the tightrope-walker), but they failed to do so competently and James fell to his unexpected death when he slipped during practice. one of the ribs pierced his left lung and the brain haemorrhage killed him instantly.

isn't that hilarious Josh?

So the survivor of a world shattering cataclysm is murdered for the money in her purse...

MA, if you want me to stop telling sick jokes, either say it or stop acting like a total idiot.

it's not that they're sick, it's just that we've all grown out of explosm

Yeah, it's comparable to Cream telling us about happy tree friends.

exactly the same.

loool its so funny an cute >:3

Have you guys heard about Pulp Fiction?


I don't know where that was going. I just wanted to belong.

I'm not getting them from there.

Rickroll

nice defense!

it doesn't matter at all where they're from, it's the style of humor they are.

*yawn* god how can a thread be so unfunny yet so popular at the same time. Seriously, let's get this party started.

You're saying you haven't found anything funny in this thread so far?

I agree though, it's starting to sink. Stop being unfunny people!

Here's a joke you'll only get if you know Spanish:

Hay dos peces en el mar. Que dijo la primera a la otra?

Nada.

^Probably wrong

I'm just waiting for Mat to liven up this thread. His jokes aren't clever, they're just on par with my sick sense of humor.

News headline: Madonna " Remarry? I'd rather be hit by a train "

Madonna will you marry me?

My job is insane. I'll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with.

First, there is this supermodel wannabe chick. Yeah okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brainpower to continue to breathe.

The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career opportunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of one to ten. I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her womanly parts. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store, she moans like a cat in heat.

But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the hugging stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead. In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I'm sure after work. He probably hasn't been sober anytime in the last ten years, and he's only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 60's, and to make things worse, he brings this big fucking dog to work. Every fucking day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the secondhand smoke. Hell, sometimes I think it's even trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonald's and Burger King, every single hugging day.

Anyways, I drive these fucktards around in my van and we solve mysteries and shit.

What do you do when you've touched your daughter one too many times?
Stow her in a drain pipe and see how much other people's time and resources you can use up before they find her

Might be a bit obscure for most of the forum's population. On the other hand, the first moment that Australian media mentioned that there was a little girl missing in your country was when she was found dead. Not even sure yet why that made the news over here.


And only because your post reminded me of it: I read an article today about a father who hadn't seen his daughter since she was three, ten years ago, tracking her down over facebook. All of which was fluffy happiness, until he tried to seduce her via facebook messages.

She told her mother, who called the police and they lured him to a public place and arrested him. Which means a happy ending for everyone but the attempted incestuous paedophile.

I posted this joke three weeks ago.

Fucking Royal Mail.

Knock Knock?
Who's there?
Not Madeline McCann.

Also, a joke advert from Monty Python's Big Red Book (It's blue).

Do YOU suffer from spots, blackheads, scabs, acne, ulcers, boils and pustles?
Eurgh.

I read this on one of my occasional visits to Encyclopædia Dramatica. Some were horrible, so horrible that they were pretty funny. Some were juts boring.

Have I told my shih-tzu joke yet?

Zoo with no animals?

Or "What do you get when you get when you cross a Bull with a shih-tzu? Bull Shit."

I take it that I have (or was that a good estimate?).

Sorry, could you rephrase that?