What?

Wha?

Here. Her name is 'Abacus'.

http://www.esquire.com/cm/esquire/im...ar-1108-lg.jpg

What the heck is that?

Hands up who just assigned their penis a letter.

I couldn't find a measuring tape long enough.

To get around your waist, fatty?

LOOK WHO'S TALKING

don't listen to him, babes.

You wanna fight, bitch? How many men did you get through today?

Seven.

Whore.

Even I'm impressed.

It's nothing compared with how many rolls of toilet paper he gets through a day. That's impressive.

And he still has a brown streak down his finger.

I don't use toilet paper. Too expensive.

A glass table is cheaper?

You only have to buy one if you're careful.

I swear the Japanese have invented the animated actor, and then employed the same ones in every show. I'm sure I've seen those guys half a dozen times already.

How many lolisquids have you seen?

Yes, but you're fascinated by boring shit. I wouldn't expect you to understand.

Want to prove the possibility of evolution and, to a lesser extent, the Infinite Monkeys theory in a few seconds?

http://files.nice.s3.amazonaws.com/weasel.html

Put in a word, and every generation, every letter has a percentage chance of 'mutating' to another one. The 'fittest' of these words (the one closest to the one you want) is used as the parent for the next generation. How long will it take your 10 clumps of genetic material to evolve into a weasel?

Very impressive, but I use Genetic Algorithms for actually useful tasks.

Selection is not Infinite Monkey Theorum. On account of the selection. A genuine attempt at infinite monkey was a Java Applet a few years ago, which, after 2,737,850 million billion billion billion monkey-years it managed to produce 24 consecutive characters from a Shakespeare play, namely Henry IV, Part II.

RUMOUR. Open your ears; 9r"5j5&?OWTY Z0d...

I know, that's about random chances building up a string of 'correct' occurences. That's why I put 'to a lesser extent'. It's not the same as Infinite Monkeys, but it's similar enough to demonstrate the principle. I did look for an IMT app that I saw on TV, but I couldn't find it and found Weasel in the process.

That's the best infinitely-looped Morgan Freeman nod I've ever seen.