Does anyone remember May last year? The supposed rapture?

December 21st is no different. I'll assume the Mayans ran out of space on their long count.

If something does happen, I hope it's beneficial, like a mental uplift.

They didn't run out of space, it's cyclical. It ticks over into the next.

I didn't hear anything about that. Explain.

I love how some people think they can take on a zombie apocalypse yet can't handle a spider.

I hope you mean May.

The last decade is full of people saying 'omg wrold mite endz in 2012 lol yolo'.

You mean May, right?

May 2011?

Such as Dix here, who is terrified of spiders because he has a vagina.

So what if I'm afraid of spiders?

Horrible fucking wall-skittering web-shitting arthropods!

Ants are far more terrifying.

Wind your neck in, boy.

Buy an Ant Farm. Watch those motherfuckers construct a tunnel.

Bored? Shake that fuckin' box and watch them rebuild it!

I actually love ants and find them fascinating, but have a severe phobia of them. Even seeing a picture of one will send me into a panic attack. It's pretty awful.

Perhaps you should get a spider and watch it build it's web.

Bored? Take a stick and destroy it's hard work. Watch it build a new one just as beautiful as the last.

Nah, I'd rather crush the fucker with a solid object before it has a chance to do anything.

Wow rude. It probably had hopes and dreams and you'd literally crush them all in an instant.

It's hopes and dreams were to crawl all over the fucking wall at incalculable speeds, and scare the shit out of me.

So in other words, the best hopes and dreams a living being could have.

Comparing a spider to a human being, are you? The only comparison I think of is...they're both alive. Differences now? Ah yes!

Spiders: shit webs, eat each other, look fucked up, have fucked up hair, can cling to walls, male spiders can't stand up to their bitches, shit out footballs, have stupid eyes, are scum, are stupid enough to get killed by wasps, get killed by me, are poisonous, likely came from Australia at some point, seriously...fucking wasps, did i mention they shit webs?

fuck spiders.

I don't know what you're talking about. I've been able to shit webs all my life.

You must obviously be dysfunctional if you're not able to shit webs.

That's likely where the extreme hate comes from.

Spiders aren't poisonous.

That's really the only flaw I see in your logic. They are terrible monstrosities that must be destroyed.

True, they're venomous. I never pegged you for that sort of pedant. I approve.

Could be worse, could be daddy long legs. Spiders with wings. Fuck.

They are the stupidest Arthropod on the planet, I mean, they have wings, but they don't even use them properly.

Crane flies are not spiders, venomous, or even carnivores. They have six legs, live for about a week, and can't fly for shit. They're about as threatening as... well I don't even need a simile. Crane flies are already the least threatening winged thing alive.

Same goes for Harvestman, the other thing everyone erroneously refers to as a spider. It is not capable of hurting humans, and they don't even have venom glands.

Okay, ignoring the stuff about taxonomy where I assumed it was obvious I was joking about the misclassification, I think you need to go away read up on the definition of irrational phobias.

People think Crane flies have venom, but no fangs to inject it with.

Those people are idiots, because of the simple fact that evolution isn't that stupid.

Oh I know you were joking. You're an apiarist, so barring some kind of bee purism, you would know these things. And I know phobias are irrational, that's why I stir the pot whenever possible. Anthony especially, since I'm his friend and I'm allowed to make fun of his stupid fear of tiny, harmless animals.

While the urban legend is false, your line of reasoning isn't necessarily true.

You can't easily 'evolve' out of superfluous traits if they're not a hindrance. It's possible that At one point crane flies had long fangs which they used to inject venom with, but the long fangs were evolved out of (For whatever reason it was economical to have shorter fangs) but the venom sacs themselves weren't necessarily harmful to the survival of the species. This never happened, and it's unlikely to have happened, but it is within the realm of possibility.

For the record I've heard the urban legend most commonly said about daddy long legs, which contrary to popular belief, can pierce human skin but carry sub-standard venom for an arachnid. So yeah.

No species of Opiliones (Daddy Long Legs) have venom glands, nor are their pedipalps hollow for venom distribution. They eat like we eat; biting chunks of food off and swallowing. They're also omnivores, preferring to eat dead plant matter and are only opportunist predators who will eat meat if it walks right passed them. The other species often referred to as Daddy Long Legs does have sub standard venom, but is not capable of breaking human skin.

My apologies, I should have specified Pholcidae. There was an episode of Mythbusters though, where the guy allowed himself to be bitten, so it can happen.

They must have gotten a pretty big one then, because most Pholcidae cannot. I assume they labeled it "busted".

Just to clarify:

Daddy Longlegs.
Daddy Longlegs.
Daddy Longlegs.