Velly nice.
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Oh shit man! I wanna know what will happen next!
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Your wish is my lunch. Cue upbeat, jazzy 70's superhero theme music. |
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http://i51.tinypic.com/28mit06.jpg Pages 5 and 6. 7 is drawn but isn't separated into panels yet. 8 and 9 are still in the script. |
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Haha, this was fantastic the humour in the first comic (6/7/11) was really good. You have got the speech down now which is good, also the drawing is getting even more consistent and well polished. Well done I really look forward to these being posted now!
Oh and in case you didn't realise: That's what you get for touching DICKS! ;) |
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POOT DISPENSER HERE. POOT DISPENSER HERE. POOT DISPENSER HERE. POOT DISPENSER HERE. POOT DISPENSER HERE. POOT DISPENSER HERE. POOT DISPENSER HERE. POOT DISPENSER HERE. POOT DISPENSER HERE. POOT DISPENSER HERE. POOT DISPENSER HERE. POOT DISPENSER HERE. POOT DISPENSER HERE. |
Even if I cannot follow it most of the time, I still find the illustrations captivating, and not only that, the humour is quite amusing.
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Wait, what can't you follow?
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Just generally what is going on in a lot of the scenes. The ones that involve large amounts of talking. Mostly because the order in which they talk seems pivotal to understanding it. It can be a little tricky to distinguish characters in my opinion, but that's probably just me. There's a bit where Kei seems to accuse the elder of something, but I have no clue what it is about. Perhaps because I have not been paying proper attention. I enjoy reading these though.
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"Elder" is the name of the series' main antagonist. I understand why this can be confusing- he hasn't shown up until now. I wanted to make reference to him and build him up for the final page.
Kei is pretty much just spouting exposition for the audience's benefit, explaining that she knows what Elder's plan is: if his goons succeed in capturing her, he plans to enslave the people of the island in her absence. It's also explaining to the audience why she didn't trade herself for the hostage, as I thought that might have been a little confusing. And in fact, speaking of our main antagonist... http://i56.tinypic.com/24l2cxz.jpg Last page. Gotta ink these and then start coloring it. |
I'll certainly enjoy the coloring of it. It'll probably make everything a little more distinguishible.
Not only that, a book form of this sounds pretty good indeed. |
The writing and drawing is superb!
I bow to you, sir. |
Thank you, friends.
Page 7 is inked and it looks ATROCIOUS. WHY did I draw the backgrounds thicker than the figures?! I think the only panels I really like are the bottom two. I'm probably going to re-ink those in my spare time. http://i53.tinypic.com/1qlfty.jpg EDIT: Fixed the issue by retracing the offending panels. |
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Page 8 looks much better. Less backgrounds to muddle around with, more focus on the characters. Except for the last panel in the third row, in which Makua's face seems to be mutating. WILL FIX. |
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Also, here is the sketch for the cover illustration. Mom says it's a little cluttered should be spread out a bit, and I pan to do some editing to it like I do with all of my inked sketches, but honestly, everything being cluttered around Kei and Mahi was kind of the point. These two are responsible for attending to the other subjects in this illustration, be they friend of foe. They've got to balance protecting a village full of people and protect one very important villager in a hostage situation. A clusterfuck of responsibility, and thus, a clusterfuck of a cover. http://i51.tinypic.com/oq9n2e.jpg ...And here's the part of the cover I have finished: King Malu and two soldiers standing in front of a crowd of villagers I have yet to draw. Man, I kind of regret not introducing King Malu until the very end. It would cast him in a better light had he been involved in the evacuation of the villagers and in helping rescue Makua. The way I have it now makes him seem more indifferent to the attacks. Like, he just shows up for damage control. I didn't want that. I had him show up so late because, traditionally, Hawaiian kings lived further away, so I figured news of the fight would take longer to get to him. Ah, well. |
Good work on the facial expressions, I swear you're getting better with every panel you make!
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I really should finally say something about this since I'm reading it as you post - I do have a little criticism (I sort of agree with Oddey about some panels being a little cluttered, though inking them obviously makes them a lot clearer, while maybe I also feel the transition between some scenes ought to be lengthened a little), but since it's a WIP and that you've put a lot of work into it, it doesn't really seem fair of me to do so.
I will say though that I do love the unusual setting and impressive character design, all of them seem to be deep and well-thought out, especially your protagonist, Kei. There needs to be more characters like her. :P But yes, keep going with this, I'm enjoying watching it slowly come together and gather momentum. |
Well, normally I would try and space it out to allow it to flow better, but I must confine these to ten pages- nine and a cover. It's going to eventually replace an older, uglier comic I did years ago that mom has on her wall.
I appreciate the critique, though! Thank you! |
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http://i51.tinypic.com/fxvzuc.jpg Just some doodles while I settle into my new apartment and try and reactivate Photoshop. 1. Designs for Bloodbeak and Nodak, who I redesigned a little more. 2. Idea: Nodak and Malu are captured and stranded somewhere and must work together to survive. |
^ Heh heh, the last screen is very good in particular. Well done as always.
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Wow, that looks much clearer now. Nicely done. :)
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It's actually a whole lot easier to tell what is going on now. I'm really starting to love it.:D
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Poor Overgrowth, Whisper be a bitch.
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Oh, they're both just as ruthless, and just as caring, it's just a matter of how thinly that caring is spread. Also, while they both want to become human again, Whisper has become desperate. Unlike her husband, she cannot interact with anything physically, and her husband cannot feel anything physically. It makes her feel guilty, asking him to be her hands, and you see her at her worst here. She'll take time to reflect on it later in the series.
She isn't a bitch, she's determined. She doesn't care if it was Kei or Elder who turned them into monsters, she just knows Kei is the one they need to capture to be turned back, and she isn't as concerned as Overgrowth about who she has to knock over to get to that goal. Unbeknownst to her, she's been internalizing Elder's own morality since the day they were created. Page 3. http://i55.tinypic.com/1zbyof9.jpg |
Looks good, from your earlier description, it makes it sound really deep story wise, like there is not good guys and bad guys, but subjective personalities instead. Well done.
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Oh, there are people who fall into those categories, but I try to keep my characters a cut above your average saturday morning cartoon. Elder's cruel, sadistic, apathetic, a crank, a eugenicist, a narcissistic control freak and a lunatic, but there are reasons he exhibits those traits, and those traits are part of his personality.
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