Chapter Eight: Strange Company
 

Part Three:

Zero waited for the seven new visitors to get inside and then closed the door. The lively native who had guided them to the in was apparently good friends with the mudokon with the funny accent. They immediately began catching up over a couple of brews. Zero automatically began helping the mineworkers to take seats on the cushions around the fire. He noticed one of them had wandered off to the corner of the room.

The scrub walked over to the worker and inquired, “Don’t ya want to sit down?”

The mineworker turned to face him, it was amazing how well they could get around by hearing and touch, and said, “No thanks. I’ve been to near to the floor for to many years of my life. I sort of like the air standing up.”

The mineworker paused then said, “You don’t sound like the other natives. You must’ve been a slave too.”

Zero nodded then realized that he wouldn’t be able to sit it, “Yes, I was an employee at the RuptureFarms 1029 Scrab Kennels. Largest meat processing plant on oddworld.”

The blind mudokon suddenly spit on the ground and said, “Employee? Is that what they call ya? Those lousy sligs and glukkons think they can just push us around. Well wait ‘til my friend Abe gets to them. They’ll be sorry.”

“You were friends with Abe?” asked Zero.

“Not really. Only met him once, when he freed me. Suppose he freed you to. I don’t think any other mudokons would have the guts to do what he is doing.”

“But the Magog Cartel have been in charge for years. Isn’t what Abe is doing… wrong?”

It was amazing how much emotion could show through the minworkers mouth. Usually it was the eyes that conveyed a person’s feelings. But this mud did well without.

“You must’ve had it really good at the ‘Farms to not be appreciative of Abe. He is doing what’s right and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Not even yourself. By the way, my names Pik. Nice meeting you…”

“Zero. My name is Zero.”

i love the pic and the story is going very well

Wow! Talk about "culture clash"!
 

Or something like it. It just stands to reason that once you are used to a way of life...change (sudden at that) will take time to deal with. Hope Zero can blend in.
I know I'll have to do a lot of re-reading, but what happend to his little rat pet/buddy?

You can't stop the story now, you must write more!

Lorne
 

Don't worry, Zero's love of small defenseless animals will continue to play a role in the story.

And I promise I will update this story sometime, but sadly, due to school, I don't have as much time to work on it.

Great job Khanz, your doing a great job on your story. Hopefully I can follow your edvice and make my story alittle better (I guess I should also shorten the chapters too, so people can get into it easier?):fuzwink:

Chapter Nine: Celestial Guidance
 

No homework today so here is the beginning of the next chapter.


Part One:

A long black creature danced across the desert sands. As it drew nearer a smaller being could be seen following closely behind. As Amos strode down the dune he eventually caught up to his shadow until it was no longer than his height. The sun steadily slipped away on the horizon and with one last wink over the sands it made its grand departure.

The lone wanderer closed his eyes and continued at a fair pace. He had long since gone numb to the pain in his sides and the tightness in his stomach. His skin burned from the fury of daylight and his feet had blistered on the hot sand. Those where the thorns of the daytime in the vast Scrabanian desert region. The night was a completely different trial. With the dark came the biting cold. It was night when the poisonous creatures of the desert crawled out from under their rocks sanctuaries to hunt for easy prey.

When Amos opened his eyes he could see through the darkness. The celestial lights would give their gift of guidance on this night.

hmmmm.........
Homework......yes, I remember now. That's the stuff that I try to avoid and occasionally cram in between work, school and fun!
Another great chapter from Khanz!

Chapter Nine: Celestial Guidance
 

Here is the next installement of the Marching Mudokons. I was really pleased with this part and I hope you like it to. I just hope it isn't full of comfusing grammatical errors...


Part Two:

What reassuring things, the stars. They were one thing which Amos could always trust in. The Magog Cartel was pure evil, corrupting the land with their industrial jihad. Glukkons could hardly breathe without polluting the air. Literally. Sligs were even worse, the nasty creatures who once made their homes in the filthy swamps of Mudos. Although he had never seen either in person, he had heard that the other industrial races, such as vykkers and chroniclers, were just as bad, if not worse. Better where his own race, the mudokons. Those who lived in the wilderness strove to do right and worked for a better future, but they were unpredictable to. And there were also the detestable mudokons living in the cities.

If there was one thing Amos had learned in his years of life, it was the fact that sentient life forms had a way of changing. Changing themselves and their surroundings. Even the mightiest of mudokons could let their brothers down.

Not the stars. Sure they moved across the sky in the night, but it was in constant patterns. They moved along set paths which would not, could not, be disturbed. At least there was one thing Amos could depend on.

The famished nomad watched the sky as he continued home. Suddenly a star burst twice its size with dazzling light and vanished from view. It simply disappeared. In the corner of his vision a comet left a tail of brilliance as it traveled through the atmosphere.

So there was nothing Amos could depend on. So be it.

Oooooo!
 

can't wait to find out more about this Amos guy!
Was he betrayed? Something happen to his
friends / fellow slaves? Did HE betray someone?

Hope to hear more soon, good stuff!

hmmmmm.....
 

Interesting. Amos is becoming a very intense character, I will follow his journey with interest.
BTW, I'm not sure about this, but isn't jihad a holy war? :fuzconf:
If it is, why do the Cartel have it?

Yes jihad is a holywar and what I think Khanz was trying to get to was the competition between rival industrys and companys to become the top retailer in their area of products... or I could just be completly wrong?:fuzsmile:

stuff
 

Firstly, I'm sorry I haven't had time to write more, I might get to it sometime this week.

Secondly, the reason Amos is so... ticked off right now is basically because the feels that he would do a better job in the "savior" position than Abe and because Big Face could not give him the same powers he gave Abe. Sorry if that wasn't clear. Amos will continue to be a very interesting character, especially when he meets up with Zero, Pikk and... Lamuel. I don't want to give away anymore but it should be obvious that those four characters will really have some interesting interactions.

Thirdly, yes a jihad is a holy war and I believe it was a very appropriate term to describe the early Magog Cartel. I meant in in the way that all members of a jihad are zealots who firmly believe in their cause and selves. Just as the glukkons believed that they should be the dominant race of Mudos.

Chapter Ten: Among the Mosaic
 

Part One:

Zero gazed from his sitting place towards the green hills outside of the mudokon haven. A herd of scrab ambled across the grass, occasionally cawing or bending over to peck an insect off of the ground. White birds flew overhead careful not to fly to close to the scrabs sharp beaks.

“The scrabs must be an amazing sight.”

Zero jumped slightly and turned to look up at the speaker. It was Pik, who else could have sneaked up on him like that?

“I’ve heard they are one of the most wonderful creatures of oddworld. I’ve only seen a picture of one once in an issue of the Dailey Deception. That was before I lost my sight.”

Zero nodded, “They aren’t pretty when they are angry. I have a scar, you can’t see it but it’s on my face. I got it from a scrab. I used to work at the Kennels you know.”

“The native who talks funny, Mike I think, he wants you to come help him with some chores… you don’t have to do them you know.”

Zero smiled, Pik was constantly trying to convince him to shrug off his duties. Pik couldn’t understand the fact that he enjoyed doing the chores. It made him feel good to do the menial tasks that nobody else wanted.

As Zero stood up he said, “You know I don’t mind, Mike probably has more important things to do than clean up all day.”

Pik shook his head, a habit he had learned while he could see. “Zero, you are hopeless.”

“Why would I need to hope? I know my place in life and it wouldn’t be right to ask for more.”

“That is where you are wrong!” A new voice said behind them.

write some more i like your aveator.

better thread name
 

Just letting everyone know that this thread is now called "The Marching Mudokons".

But if you are reading this you have already figured it out.

Chapter Ten: Among the Mosaic
 

It's been a while since I worked on this story but I figured I should write a little so that you all know I haven't forgotten about it. It isn't much but... oh well.


Part Two:

Zero and Pik turned to look at the newcomer. Neither recognized the scarred warrior who stood before them.
“Sorry to butt in on your conversation, but I wanted to introduce myself. I’m Amos. I live here at the Monsaic Lines but I’ve been off on a trip the last couple of weeks. It’s good to finally see some new faces around here.”
Pik smiled and said, “It’s good to meet you too. Sadly I don’t have the pleasure of being able to see you. But you smell terrible. Where have you been?”
Zero shook his head slowly and said, “That’s Pik. What he lacks in manners he makes up for in determination. I’m Zero, we both used to be workers for the glukkons until we were rescued by…”
Amos cut in, “I’m sort of hungry. Do you want to come with me back to the village? We can talk on the way.”
Pik and Zero both nodded and followed the returned traveler.

Yay!! Zero and the others are back!! Hope to see some more in this story Khanz, and hope that I write some more too...before Oddling does something drastic.......