The medical term obese is used for people who really aren't very fat at all. It's the morbidly obese that we associate it with.

I would like the ability to stop time. Think of all the pranks....

Obesity as defined by the body mass index is total bullshit, but it's semantics. When I say 'obese', I really mean 'morbidly obese', but I'm not going to be pedantic about it.

Or we can go by the Iglesias scale;
1. Big
2. Healthy
3. Husky
4. Fluffy
5. Daaayum
6. Oh HELL no

It's not a disease!

Live and let live, I say. Just don't put a strain on the NHS if you eat yourself into a food coma. I wouldn't expect a hospital to help me if I fed myself into immobility.

They annoy me though when they get operations on it. You could die, you silly cunt, get up and go for a run, fatty.

If you are so fat that walking puts you in as much danger of a heart attack than sitting there stuffing your face, how do you suggest they get up and go for a run?

Also, do you have to swear every other line? I swear all the time and it even grates on me, you sound like a tit, to be frank.

Nep swore only once in the last five posts. Stop being a pussy.

I do swear a lot, to be fair. I know that I do it, but I don't see it as a big issue because I try not to do it around people who may get offended by it. I use it for emphasis.

It loses its power if you use it too much. Which you do.

Cunt.

i came here to defend my honour against OANST, but i see that's already been done for me. awww, thanks guys.

that would make you my enemy. anyone who has the ability to stop time becomes too dangerous and could disrupt the progress of my own motives. i would have to find you, and perhaps preserve you in a state of permanent comatose whilst under constant surveillance.

i completely agree.

also Nate how the fuck do you post those instant button things, man? i used to be able to, but i've tried and tried and i just can't do it, man. i just can't do it. i don't know how, man. i don't know how. man.

unless you're pulling that Old Testament God shit again and doing things us mere mortals can't.

Do you mean:

YES

how the fuck? TELL ME

Quote Vyrien's post and copy-past the code, numbnuts.

I really have no desire to suck my own cock either. It's like tickling yourself; it'll never work as well as when someone else is doing it.

but i don't want to use the rimshot one.

do i have to pre-order them?

I didn't create the rimshot button. I stole it from a website.

Awesome.

Also fat people, because we wouldn't want this topic getting off...topic, would we?

e: @Sekto - It's like in his blogs though stuff like that. I'm the last person to get offended by swearing, sometimes it's every other word for me...but just throwing in 'cunt' for little reason on a forum just makes you look a bit dull in the old brains department. I don't know why, because I've argued against my own point a hundred times to other people.

You know what, fuck it, who cares?

Infinite immortality with selective ability to erase your memories would be OK by me.

That's two superpowers.

Can I have superpower of attorney?

No. I'm filling in for the fun police while Nepsotic isn't here.

It's not the memories that are the problem. It's the getting bored after humanity dies out or evolves in to something different to what you are.

I changed my mind. I want an ability to give people superpowers.

No. You're stuck with what you wanted first. No changing.

Personally I don't find the idea of being surrounded by evolutionary change boring. Lonely, definitely, but not boring. Unless of course a nuclear holocaust or an event on such a scale wipes out all sentient life. Then I'd just have to wait an absurd amount years until humans, or another sentient lifeform evolve again or, um, explore the galaxy.
Of course I could potentially clone myself, (and then clone the clones) which would, given enough time, produce sufficient mutations for genetic diversity to exist.
In any case, I'd say the benefits of absolute immortality outweigh the costs given it is literally eternal.
But closer to the topic at hand, I'd like Abe's possessing powers. :P

You'd possess one person and then you've never stop cleaning yourself.

I'd quite like Taskmaster's powers, actually.

Let's see now, I guess an ability to charge any type of batteries through the sheer force of will would be cool.

Only if you could overcharge them too.

Then you go to sleep until you get picked up by an alien starship or hit a planet, Duh.

So now you're requesting selective hibernation powers as well?

She's an anime nerd, sleeping for absurd amounts of time probably comes naturally.