granted. You become so popular that you are murdered in your sleep by your jealous parents.

I wish anti-semites would sit down for a moment and think about how Jesus was a jew.

:pYou just repeated what you said but added fire powers.

...Uhhhh...Jews become the master race on Earth and all gentiles are exterminated!

I wish I could blow up the things I looked at.

Granted. A year from now you become too emo for own good and blow yourself up while looking in a mirror after reading your own pathetic fanfictions.

I wish flowers were as horny as I am.

:pWow, you really want me to die in pain....Boom.

Flowers overpopulate the world and...Uhh, we all die because we can't move from the amount of plants! Well, that sucked.

I wish I could blow up something that wasn't myself.

Granted. A year from now you become too emo for your own good and blow up your own pathetic fanfictions. You die in the resulting explosion.


I wish that I could do what i do without ever going poo.

:pHow tragic...

You explode because your poo is never disposed of and it builds up inside of you...Or you butt swells to the size of Sams egg sack.

I wish I could turn into a dog.

Granted. However, you can't become human again.


I wish that I could leap tall buildings in a single bound. Or, at least small picnic tables.

You leap into an airoplane and die.

I wish I could blow up oanst instead of destroying myself in a freak accident.

Your wish is denied.

Awww...

I wish I could draw properly with a tablet.

Granted, but then your drawing skillz become too great for the Tablet while drawing illistrations for your own pathetic fanfictions...and it explodes...killing you

I wish the world was a bit more friendly

:pWhy does everyone hate my fanfictions? Did you see the unedited versions?

Everyone becomes too nice, animals are not killed for food, and the world becomes over-populated.

I wish I could blow up Abeguy.

Granted, but he gets to close and you blow up in the process.

I wish I could implode people over the internet.

Granted. You accidently miss Zozo, but implode his gas heater, thus killing him in the resulting explosion.

I wish I didn't have to chores.

Granted, but no more pocket money for you.

I wish i had a silver coin.

Granted. I punch you in the face and take it.


I wish that Daxter King's penis was bigger.

Granted but it becomes so large that your ego shrinks... and too much blood doesn't flow right to his head when he gets a you-know and he dies.


I wish I had the ability to make my drawings come to life.

Granted. They come too life, kill you then rape your corpse afterwards.

I wish everything never existed. That way, nothing would ever happen. Uh yeah...wtf i said.

You dont exist, your wish doesn't happen, so everything does exist.

I wish OANST would get a life.

Granted, but he ceases to exist due to his fundamental atomic nature.
I wish I could play music.

You play music, but inevitably... you suck.




I wish I wasn't bored.

You die and goto hell, where you're never bored!

I wish that I was ruler of my own country.

Granted, but your country is invaded by Muslims, and you are beheaded in the name of peace.
I wish homophobes would be sterilized.

Granted. As an addendum to the bill disliking oanst becomes a crime worthy of death. You are beheaded.


I wish God and Jesus could just sit down and figure out what philosophy they will collectively espouse.

(You people post too fast...)

Inevitably, they pick one you don't go with. Hence, you die.

I wish I had my kitties back.

They come back and scratch you till you bleed to death.
I wish I didn't have my period.

OT: Then get a hysterectomy when you are 18, sista.
On Topic:
Granted, but you die of blood overflow.
I wish abortion supporters were babies.

I am a she! That's the second time I've ben called a he! Why does everyoine think I'm male!?

Al of the babies die.

I wish I could go into the internet.

You get infected with a virus.
I wish I could change my appearance at will.

Granted! But your face gets stuck like that.

I wish I really was raised by cats (not just partially, like I am for real.)

You act like a cat and kill whatever is furry and smaller than you.

I wish I could use the internet to go to someones house and see what they look like.

And that's a bad thing how?

On topic:

Granted! But you end up coming to my place, see me, and die from cardiac arrest.

I wish all Junebugs would die.

Granted, but then you turn into a Junebug for no apparent reason, and die.
I wish I was eating chicken right now, not pork.

Granted! You get bird flu.

I wish I could read an entire dictionary and remember it all.

Granted, but your level of intellect grows so much that the people around you can no longer understand you, so you are shunned and live your life alone.
I wish for world peace.

Everyone turns all uuber-nice and there are no more wars or stuff...And we all die because we don't eat plants or animals because we're too nice.

I wish I could see into peoples minds.

OT: Nooo! D: My carnivourous and murderous insticts would nenver allow such a thing!
On Topic:You can see everyone's emotions, thoughts, wishes and dreams all at once, and you can't block any of it out, and you are driven insane by the unstoppable onslaught of empathy and understanding so you kill youself.

I wish my parents didn't force me to bed so early, resulting in me staying up all night using the laptop.

:DWhat is this, the Zozo suicide jokes thread?

You die of lack of sleep.

I wish I could go into one of my fanfictions.

Shiz you post way too quickly!!!

Granted, but your fanfictions suck and you want to go out cause they suck soo bad. Muahahahaha.

I wish for dominance. Yeah. MUHAHAHA!

:pYou're just all copying Oanst, aren't you?

You can't handle the responsibility of caring for 257 pimplets, and so sell them to Tony Blair, thus losing your dominance.

I wish I could blow up everyojne who has made a Zozo suicide/pathetic fanfiction joke so far.