Hey, DS! We missed ya, too-I'm glad you enjoyed your time. :) You didn't get to go to the carnival? :( I'm sorry that happened. Well, we'll be waiting for more of the story. ;)
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Hi! And as I promised, here's a fresh part of my story... it includes two chapters this time so enjoy! Hope ya like it! :)
Chapter five: Backstory - part three Carak, Noka and Vivay were planing on how to make their brother Alca leave his leadership to them. Carak said: - We've tried to talk to him 'bout the voting contest and who's gonna be the leader, but he said no to both. How in the name of Odd are we going to take over now? Do anyone of you have any ideas? - Hmmm... Alca's weak point is fighting. He's strong but he doesn't like fighting, he rather stands outside a fight than joining it, said Noka. - Good thinking, brother... but the problem is if we're going to fight him then we have to do it when we're alone with him and that's pretty difficult, said Vivay. - I've got it! Look, we deceive him by saying that... You know Chryl? The female Steef who's sterile? I've seen that Alca's in love with her or maybe he likes her alot, anyway... If we tell him that Chryl's waiting for him in the forest, then he'll go there to see her. But instead we're there and will be waiting for him and then...Carak grined and laughed with evilness... we knock him down. - A great idea Carak I like it so... how are we going to set up the plan, asked Noka. - Don't you worry my brother, I know exactly how, said Carak and layed his hand on his brother's shoulder. At the same time in Alca's hut... - You're doing a great job, being a good leader to your people. I'm so proud of you son, said Alca's Mother proudly. - Mom... I'm glad and lucky to have this opportunity, said Alca as he gave the Mother a hug. - Your Father would be proud of you to... If he lived... but I know that he's stil living. His spirit lives in you now... - Mom, I don't know if I'm the chosen one to be the leader... my brothers are quite jealous at me and wants to have a voting contest about who's going to be the leader... it's making me confused. - You're the right one don't you understand? The people loves you very much and they don't want none of your brothers to take your place, you just have to get used to it. Look at me... there are no other leader than you who's in charge over this tribe and that's the way it is, do you understand? Alca nodded and smiled gently back to his Mother. - Thanks, I'll always remember those words I promise said Alca with joy. After some hours of talking and planing the evil brothers went through the plan again, to be sure that it should go well. - Okay, first Noka will go and tell Alca that Chryl's waiting for him in the forest. Second, while you're doing that I and Vivay will walk to the forest and wait for him. And, last Noka will sneak in to the woods to meet us, said Carak with an evil look in his eyes. The other two nodded and laughed a bit. - Noka it's your move... do what you're going to do... see you in the woods, said Carak and went away with Vivay to their destination. Noka went away to see Alca. Chapter five: Backstory- part four - Alca! Alca, shouted Noka. - I'm here Noka, in the hut, shouted Alca back. - Alca... Good I found you. I've important information to tell you. Chryl wants to see you, she's in the forest and she told me that it was pretty important. - Well...thanks Noka err... can you go tell her that I'm just going to change clothes then I'll come over. - Sure I can, brother I'll do that, said Noka and went away, as planed to the woods. But what Noka didn't recognize was that Alca's ten years older friend, who's known as Kontey, had heard everything and decided to sneak after the leader to see what was going on. While in the forest... - Noka should be back here any minute now... Hmmm are you ready to get your revenge on that fool, Vivay, asked Carak. - Errr... I guess so but... do we really have to knock him down, I mean he'd been nice to us all the time and now we're going to fight against him? It doesn't feel right to me, answered Vivay with a quite disappointed voice. - Ahh, C'mon Vivay it'll be fun... don't come and say you don't want to join us anymore. You see, Alca is too selfish and well he got a nice attitude, but it has to be more polished... and please be honest to me... I can keep a secret, said Carak with a sly voice. Vivay turned around and said desperate: - Alca's my best friend I can't...knock him down I would feel so terrible afterwards... and by the way we'll soon be leaders after him. I'm not sure 'bout this... Suddenly Noka came running and said with haste: - We've to hide Alca will soon be arriving here and we'd to get prepared for fighting, c'mon let's hide! They hide themselves behind some of the trees and the bushes. Alca came and called on Chryl, but she didn't appear. Instead the brothers came out from their hideouts and Carak laughed with evilness. Alca asked with supricement: - Carak, Noka and Vivay what are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be in the village? Have anyone of you guys seen Chryl? - You're feeling quite confused right know am I correct? Oh dear big brother... Chryl isn't here, she's stil in the village at her place. But while you're stil here then we can have a little chat, about this leadership, hmm? Carak cleared his throat and continued, You see this leadership doesn't fit you it isn't your style... what I mean is; you don't have the right qualities for a leader and now we wish, as your brothers, to take your place just for a short time... what do you say? Alca got angry and said with a mad voice: - This discussion is over and you three knows it... and I'm stil not leting you taking over. Just accept it as it is... Alca turned around, but before he should walk home Carak said with an evil and sly voice: - You're wrong Alca, completly wrong... Get him boys! The brothers attacked Alca and kicked him in his side with thier hooves and with thier fists. Alca tried to fight them, but they were too strong. After some beating and fighting, Alca fell unconsious to the ground. Carak said with an evil grin while he put one of his hooves right over Alca's head: - Say hello to our Father from us, will you? So long, sucker! Just as he should tread down his hoof, Kontey came and shouted with anger in his eyes: - Stop right there! What the hell are you doing? Are you three insane? Can't you see what you're doing, huh? You... you're trying to kill our leader! It's so low, what are you thinking about? Carak walked to him and said with a cheeky style: - We're kicking the shit out of our brother to loser...you got a problem with that or what? Now, move it you're standing in the way! - I'll not move, answered Kontey back. - Move it! Move it and do it now, your stupid varmint! - Over my dead body...now you and your brothers will help me bringing the leader to the Steef docs office or do you rather want to stay here and let Alca's bodyguards taking care of you and put you in the jail? Carak got mad and attacked Kontey, but as fast as snake Kontey smashed him with his horns and Carak landed on the ground with a thud. - I'm gonna get you for this you... you punk, yelled Carak with pain. Kontey said: - Get me for what? You and your brothers almost killed Alca, that's what I'm calling blaming on an innocent person like him... and by the way what has he done to you guys? Nothing! I'll return back to the village with Alca... you three suit yourselves. Kontey lifted up Alca on his reeling legs and went carefully with him back to the village. Vivay, Noka and Carak stayed in the forest and saw them walk away. See Ya! DS |
OOh! Those three sneaky bastards get wut they deserve.
Nice chapters DS. I can't wait to read what's gonna happen!;) |
Yeah, that chapter was awesome! :D I'm glad they got what they deserved, too! Those greedy scum-bags! :D
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Thanx guys! I'll soon send some more in... Glad ya liked it!
Well I gotta go now I've some work to do...:|:eek::flames: See Ya guys! DS |
Hi guys! here's a new part of my story! enjoy!
Chapter five: Backstory - part five The Grubb leader looked on the Oracle with a chocking look in her eyes. " Carak", she thought, "Why did you do this to your brother? Carak... it can't be you or?" Frey continued the story. When Kontey got back to the village, he met one of the Steef docs. The Steef doctor gloated with an chocked look in his eyes and said with a stressed voice: - Kontey what has hapend to Alca? Oh dear Odd... C'mon help me bringing him to my office, quick! They went away quickly to the docs place and put Alca on the bed. The Doctor took his stethoscope and listend to the leader's heart and lungs. The heart pounded a bit slower than usual and the lungs sounded hoarse when he was breathing in air. The Doctor said with a desperate and scared voice: - I'm afraid our leader is heavy injured... The hoarse sound from the lungs shows me that he must at least broke a couple of ribs or... that's only my guess... - Guess? What guess? What do you mean by that Doc, asked Kontey worried. - Well err... I'm not supposed to tell, you know as a Doctor I've professional secrecy...but you brought him here so, I guess I've to do it anyhow. I don't know if Alca has some broken ribs... I'm just not sure about that, but I also got another theory... It may has hapend that some of the ribs can have punctured the lungs. I know it's sounds bad, but that's only a theory though... - Punctured lungs? It's so bad...? - It's only a theory Kontey, I've never said that Alca here has any punctured lungs. If Alca of some reason has it, then we may worry, but not until I have made a research on him. And Kontey... I don't want nothing of this information to be mentioned to the people about this is that understood? - Understood, Doc. - Good. By the way who did this terrible thing to him? Have you seen any involved? - ...Yes... Alca's brothers did this to him, I saw it with my own eyes when they maltreated him... - How terrible! Kontey nodded and asked the doc: - If Alca should have punctured lungs, then what are you going to do? - I guess I don't have any more alternative than to operate, I'm afraid... but we have to make sure that everything's going fine till Alca's standing on his legs again so... as The leader's personal Doctor I give you, the responsiblity of the tribe while Alca is here at our small hospital. - I'll do what I can...Oh Alca why? I know it isn't much, but I've been busy doing other thing on the garden and so on... anyhow I'll send some more in soon! Ps I know it's wrong to dubblepost but It's the only thing I have to do if I'm going to update this thread:) See Ya! DS |
Poor, poor Alca. That doesn't sound good...
Nice chapter DS, it wasn't THAT short... but just a bit tiny.;) And doubleposting is allowed in FC, as long as it features something new. So don't worry;) |
Thanx BBB for the note, pal! I was kinda worried that I would get a warning if I'd dubble-post... but I guess I don't have to be that now. Anyway thanx for reading my story;)
See Ya! DS |
New part of me story! Hope ya like it:)
Kontey went out form the hospital to see his wife and his two children. While he was on his way to his hut, he met Chryl who was sitting outside her home. She saw Kontey and asked him: - Kontey, what's wrong? You're looking so... Kontey said with a depressed voice: - It's nothing Chryl, I'm fine... I, just... errr... I just need some sleep that's all so don't you worry 'bout me. - It has to be something... Kontey please... I know you're hiding something for me aren't you? - ...Err... Oh, I can't lie to you Chryl... Alca's heavy injured. - Alca? What has hapend to him, asked Chryl nervously. And then Kontey tells her about the horrible thing Alca had been out for. Chryl gets sad and asks him: - May I see him? Kontey... I beg you, I have to see him! - Come with me... But don't tell anybody else, ok? Chryl nodded and followed him to Alca. While at the hospital... The Doctor had just finnished laying bandage around Alca's chest and was about to take an sample of the leader's blood. He put his squirt out of his working suit pocket and just when he should take a sample, he saw Alca open his eyes and tried to move. - Alca? Are you alright, asked the Doc with supricement. - Doc? Errr... how did I get here? Ouch, said Alca and put his hand on his chest. - Kontey brought you here. He saved you from your evil brothers in the very last second... If he hadn't been there then we would have lost a great leader, answered the Doctor. - Kontey? Saved me? Where are my brothers? I have to talk to them now. - My friend your not in a good shape for that. I'm afraid that you have a couple of broken ribs and they have to heal before you can do anything. Your brothers may wait. - But who's going to take care of the tribe? I'm the only one who's in charge and no one else. And by the way the people needs me... - I let Kontey take care of the tribe, only while you're injured though so you don't have to worry about anything. At the same time Kontey went in to the Doc's hut together with Chryl. They got supriced when they saw that Alca sat up and was talking to the Doctor. - Alca, shouted Kontey and walked towards the leader and layed his hand on Alca's shoulder. - Kontey... I'm so greatful of what you've done, I'm proud of you...Alca paused and saw Chryl, who stil was standing in the entrance of the hut. - Chryl... come, said Alca as he reached out his hand. Chryl came, grabbed his hand and said with tears in her eyes: - Oh, Alca I'm... I was so worried... She layed her head in his arms and cried. Alca said with solace while he layed his arms around her: - Schh... it's alright... I'm fine. The Doc says that I only have a couple of broken ribs and that's not too bad... It could have been worse. You don't have to worry about me I'll be okay. Chryl stoped crying, looked at Alca and smiled. The leader wiped away the tears from her face and said: - You know while I was sleeping I dreamed about you and the tribe, how lucky all the inhabitants were. The flowers were blooming and the birds were singing. And... My Father was there. He welcomed me and guided me around the village. It was so beautiful. - That's sounds very nice Alca... really nice, said Chryl. - Kontey... I heard from the Doc, you're taking care of the tribe now... I'll give you the whole responibility of the tribe now while I'm here and if there is something you're wondering just come here and tell me. I will give you support and some tips... by the way take care of the tribe wisely, said Alca and laughed. - You can count on me Alca, said Kontey and went away to his hut. - Doc, can you leave us for a moment, asked Alca. - Of course... if you need something just call on me, answered the doctor and walked out. - Chryl... I know you're pretty chocked over this accident, but there is something I want you to do for me, can you do it? - Of course I can, answered Chryl. - I want you to inform the inhabitants about everything that has hapend to me and tell my guards to arrest my brothers, they're in the forest. And Chryl... - Yes, Alca? - You're so beautiful... It has been hard for me to tell... you tha... said Alca as he slowly lower his head and kisses her. She looked at him with a calm look in her eyes and said: - I will... I will inform the inhabitants and tell your guards to arrest your brothers, I promise. She embraced him and wispered in his ear: - I love you, Alca with all of my heart. - You do? - Yes I do. Chryl left Alca and went to her hut. This part is larger than the other one and I'll send in more as fast as I can. I'm already writing on the Sixth part of chapter five;):p See Ya! DS |
Fantastic chapter, DS! It was very heart-warming in certain spots! :) Keep up the good work-I can't wait to see what else happens! ;)
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Exactly how I feel about it. A really nice chapter.;)
I really want to know what the Sixth part has in store.:) |
And you'll know don't ya worry bout that...:) I've been busy doing things and stuff in the garden so that's why I haven't updated this thread for a while sorry:( anyway I'm still working on the sixth part and soon I'll send it in to ya guys!
See Ya! Ds |
Cuteness!
Awww, that bit was beyond cuteness! Lovin' yer fic Dancin' Steef, you got a good idea goin'. Keep it up and update soon!
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Thanx LoboDiabloLoneWolf! Well I'd plan this story for a couple or maybee three moths bfor I began to send it in and I didn't expect it to be so long... but that's doesn't bother me though I really love to write stories and especially when it's bout Oddworld:p:D anyhow I got to go know cuz I have to write the next part of the story so ya readers can have something to read;)
See Ya! DS |
Yay, another part! I've been wanting to work on an Oddfic myself, but I can't think of how to write it. :lol:
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That's sound like a great idea to me.;) Well here's the sixth part of chapter five hope ya like it!:)
Chapter five: Backstory - part six - It seemed like Alca had a good time after all, hehe, said the Grubb Leader and smiled. - Yeah... but what hapend to Alca's brothers anyway? Did they get arrested as Alca had commanded or did they escape, asked Stranger. - Well not exactly... One night the brothers returned to the village and decided to stay there and wait for their big brother to get well again... - But why didn't they just go to the hospital to crush Alca as they wanted, asked Stranger. - Kontey had told Alca's guards to guard outside the hospital and they were alot more stronger than Alca's younger brothers. Anyhow... jawn... It's getting late, do you need some rest? I myself can be awaken the whole nights so I don't bother if you want to sleep or if you want to hear the rest of the story... It's up to you. Stranger and the Leader looked at each other and nodded. Stranger said: - We do really want to hear the rest of the story it's very important to us. - It's settle then... Alright here goes: Chryl woke up early the next morning to tell the inhabitants of Alca's accident caused by his brothers, and to do that she'd told Kontey to gather all Steefs in the tribe. Kontey did what she told him to do and gathered all them Steefs in the center of the village. Kontey said: - I've gathered all of you here because, Chryl has some important and terrible news she wants to tell you... Okay Chryl go on and tell them. - I've spoken with Alca and he has told me to give you his message... and the Chryl tells the people about the accident and the inhabitants wispered to each other with a chock of frightendness. - Please, please calm down for a minute...Alca's well now, but he has to rest before he can return to his place as the Leader, said Kontey as he raised his hands in the air. The inhabitants calmed down and suddenly Carak came out from his hut and shouted with eagerness and evilness: - Well as I've noticed... If Alca's at the hospital and isn't well enough to be out here and do his job, then someone else has to do it... and by the way I'm Alca's brother so I would have the whole responsibility of the tribe, at least we're relatives right? - It's too late for that you know. Alca has given me the responsibility over the tribe till he'll come back. And by the way you were one of them who almost killed Alca and I will not tolerate anyone who has the eyes of a traitor to take the leader's place. Alca is very important to all off us and if he died then we would have to choose one of you and your brothers, but now when Alca's doing well, except the little wound he'd got, then I'm not going to leave this place to you... Is that understood Carak? Carak growled and said: - Understood... - Good. Now go, I don't want you to be here. And tell your two brothers about this, so they'll now the new rules. - New rules? What kind of rules? - First rule; you and your brothers stays away from Alca. Second rule; you've to stay in the village the whole time, and last; to be sure that you'll stay in the village I send Alca's guards to lock you guys in... in our prison. And nobody, then I mean nobody will open the doors to the jail except I or the guards. After the meeting the Steefs went back to their huts and continued with their daily work. As Kontey had ordered, the guards locked in the brothers and guarded outside the prison to be sure that no one of them tried to escape. |
Ha-ha! Kontey just killed Carak with facts. How I love it when that happens.:)
Nice chapter DS, keep 'em coming.;) |
Thanx BBB!:lol: N here's some more on my story hope ya like it!
Chapter five: Backstory - part seven It has gone six weeks after the accident and Alca stood on his stable legs again. He had just left the Doc's office and were about to meet Chryl at their secret place; a wonderful grove. Under this weeks of aches and pains, Alca had thought about some things for the tribe and also about some of his future. Like to get married as Kontey and Alca's Father had told him, and that was not the easiest thing to do. Alca were dressing up in his hut and thought "How do I look?... Awww fine I guess" "What am I going to tell her oh... I'm not going to make it. She's probably not interested in me errr... I'll give it a try what can get worse anyhow?" With those thoughts on his mind he went away to the grove. Chryl who had get there before Alca said to herself: - I wonder what Alca wanted to tell me... hehe I'm so curious! Perhaps he wanted to tell me something about the tribe or oh... who knows what he has on his mind... At the same time Alca arrived and saw her. He looked at her with proud and smiled. - So... You got here before me huh? Well I guess you were alot faster than me, weren't you? - Hehe... very funny Alca, I'm not taking that much time on dressing up, I need more time to get here. And beside, it's better to arrive a little late than not arrive at all, am I right? - I guess you are Chryl, I guess you are... - Now tell me what's on your mind. - Well errr... I'd been thinking and... - Yes Alca, go on. - I've decided to, this might sound terrible to you but... I've decided to divide the tribe in to four peices. - Divide the tribe? Why? - I don't have much choice. My brothers has prooved that they're strong but, if they're strong and wants to be leaders then... they are going to be the new leaders of the three tribes which are left for them. It's about 200 Steefs in the whole tribe and it means that each of us will have 50 inhabitants. I'll first choose fifty inhabitants, whom I love the most... I love all the inhabitants but... anyway then I together with my tribe will move to the north and my brothers will choose thier direction to move to. The south, the west and the east are the other directions which are left. - Alca... You can't do this! I mean you'll betray the people while they need you the most and well I'm one of them... You can't just divide the tribe it's not fair. - Chryl, look... If I don't do this my brothers could betray me one more time and if they get the chance to do that, then I'm good as dead. And if I'm right you and the inhabitants wanted me to stay as the leader for a while but... my brothers doesn't give me any other choise. Anyway I came to ask you something else. - What is it then? Please ask me! - Alright I'll ask, but first you've to close your eyes. Chryl closed her eyes. Alca picked out a pretty necklace from one of his pockets; it was made of beautiful stones which glittered like diamonds and had diffrent colours. One of the stones was whole white and the biggest of them and it was shaped like a heart. Alca tied the necklace around Chryl's neck and said to her to open her eyes. She opened them and looked at the necköace with supricement and happyness. - Oh Alca it's so cute! - I've made this just for you, said Alca and took her hands. - For me? - Chryl? - Yes Alca? Alca kneeled and asked: - Chryl, will you marry me? - Oh Alca... I thought you'd never ask... Of course I want to marry you! Chryl threw herself in his arms and laughed with luckyness. Hehe... See Ya soon! DS |
GUSH!
Excuse me while I gush over the cuteness. Awwwwwwwwww! How cute! I think Alca did the right thing, splittin' the tribe an' all, at least his brothers'll leave him alone now.
Keep writing DS dude! :D |
thanx guys! and sorry I haven't been on the forum for a while, but when i was going to this site then it didn't work so that's why... and I've also been busy doing homeworks and so on... anyway I've written little part of the story and i hope you'll like it:)
***** - What hapend next, asked the Leader. - Jawn... well Alca and Chryl decided to get married, once after they'd moved to the north. A little later when they had return back to the village Alca was about to tell his brothers about his plans... - Kontey I'm glad I found you... you see I want to talk to my brothers can you help me open the jail for me, please, Alca beged. - Of course I can! There's no problem at all... Do you want me to follow you in to the jail to or, asked Kontey. - No there is no need for that, jus' open the prison and it'll be fine. - All right, friend as you wish, said Kontey as he took the key to the doors of the jail. When they reached the prison, then one guard who stood outside it greeted on them, especially to the leader. - Howdy Alca! It was a long time since I saw you, how's it going, said one of the guards while shaking hand with him. - I'm fine, just fine! He everything is just doing great, how bout you, Alca greeted back. - It's all right, just a bit boring stand outside a prison that's all I guess... - Alca wanted to see his brothers, if it's all right with you, asked Kontey. - Sure, it's fine with me... but if there's any problem, then call on me, you never know what these crazy varmints can do. Kontey gave the key to the guard and the guard unlocked the doors. Alca went in and the first he heard was his brothers talking to each other. The jail was pretty dark inside and it had four cells, one which Alca's brothers were locked in. One of them was sleeping in the corner of the cell and the other two were whispering to each other. Suddenly they stoped whisper and listened. Listened to the sounds of the door, which opened. First the guard went in and after him came Alca. He looked at his brothers with disappointment and said with a deep and serious voice: - Brothers… I’m very frustrated on how you could do this to me. But you guys don’t give me any other choice… Carak looked at Alca with supricement grabbed the bars and said: - W… what do you mean, dear brother? Please tell us we really want to know! - I’m afraid I have to, said Alca with a sigh. - Well, go on Alca! - It’s hard to tell, but I’ll give it a try…then Alca tells his brothers about his plans. See ya soon! DS |
Nooooooo! Not The Dreaded Cliffhanger!
Dun dun DUH! How are Alca's bro's gonna take this??? (Actually I'll bet they'll be darn happy about it) More importantly, how is Alca gonna choose which Steef goes where? That could cause problems... *insert very ominous, doom-esque music here*
Lookin' forward to more. :D |
thanx for reading me story LW! and yes Alca's bros' will get really happy when thier big bro let's em have the or a part of the leadership... but the bro's going to choose their own direction to move to, and then I mean to the south, the east and the west. (Alca choosed to move to the north)
anyway I'm going to write the next part today cuz I've got plenty of time left after school so :):):);):p See Ya! DS |
No no, what I mean is, how is he going to split up the actually tribe? What if the whole tribe itself doesn't want to be split up? :D :evil:
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1) if Alca doesn't split the tribe then his bro´s will knock him out again but in a diffrent way (and the people LOVES Alca and they don't want their leader to get killed). 2) if he rather had stayed as the leader and didn't care bout his bothers threat, then he'd risk not only his life but the tribe itself, cuz the brothers is more of a threat to the tribe than to Alca. to sum up these ones... 3) Alca doesn't want his tribe to get destroyed by his bro´s and he doesnt want to get killed himself so, he comprimises by doing this spliting of the tribe and letting each one of his fellows get thier share and then move to diffrent directions. why they're moving to other directions is; if all of the leaders are going to stay at their place then it could be more problems. well I hope yer pleased with my answer LW. I gotta go now See Ya! DS |
Ahhhhh
Ah, I see, well, that makes sense. Still look forward to the tribe's reaction and lookin' forward to what Stranger's gonna do next! Great so far Dancin' Steef, :D oh, and love your Steef art bt the way.
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OOh, nice chapters, DS. ;) Sorry it took me so long to reply, but I've been quite busy lately. ;) So Alca's splitting the tribe into four sections, huh? Interesting.....it's also cool that he got married as well. Nice work on those chapters. :)
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See Ya! DS |
No problem-it's a great story. ;) I'll be waiting for the next chapter.......DON'T KEEP ME WAITING FOREVER OR I'LL BECOME VERY ANGRY!!!!!!!!! Kidding! :p :D
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:eek:...hehe:lol:! no I won't keep ya waitin' Odd Chick and by the way I'm just finnished a new part of the story here it is, enjoy!
After Alca had told them everything the brother’s stared at each other with astonishment. Then Noka asked: - So… you mean we’re going to choose 50 Steefs and then move to our new destination? Hmmm… sounds great to me. What do think brothers? - It sounds like a great idea to me, Vivay said as he got up from his lying position. - Well Alca he he… I guess we’re agreed then. I choose to move to the south with my tribe, how ´bout you guys, asked Carak. - Alright Carak… then I choose to move to the west with my share, said Noka with a cocky voice - … I guess I’ll have to move to the east then with the rest of them Steefs, said Vivay with a quite dejected voice. Alca nodded and said to them: - It’s settled then. Guard unlock the prison and let my brothers go out and pick their part of the tribe… but before they’ll doing it, then I’ll inform the people ‘bout this so they are aware ‘bout what’s going to happen next. Kontey will you help me gather them Steefs for the meeting, please? - Of course I can Alca, there’s no problem at all, answered Kontey as he went out from the prison. Carak, Noka and Vivay went out from their cell and followed Alca to the gathering place. The guard who stood beside the door to the cell thought desperately: “ I hope you’re doing the right thing Alca…hope you’re doing the right thing”. He sighed and went out from the jail to the centre of the village, to the meeting. Chapter five: Backstory - part eight Alca let the people gather around him and his brothers. When everybody had gathered around them, Alca raised his voice and said: - My dearest people… I’m glad to see you all again after a long time of pains and aches. But I’m afraid that some troubles has got in the way… you see, my brother’s jealousy and hatred took over their minds and somehow they changed my opinion as well, but in a different sort of way… err… I’ve decided to split the tribe in to four sections. I know it’s sounds awful, but my brothers don’t give me any other choice. Anyhow we’ll choose fifty Steefs each and then will move to the general points of the compass. I’ve already chosen my share so it’s up to my brothers to choose who’s going to follow them. Personally I’ll move to the north with mine, Carak will move to the south, Noka to the west and last Vivay to the east. Am I correct, brothers? - You’re completely right big bro… commented Carak while the other two nodded. - Well then… I guess the meeting’s over. Go to your respective homes now and continue with your work. I’ll be picking up the ones who are coming with me a little later and when we’re all set we move to the north immediately, said Alca with a dejected voice as he left the meeting place. |
Depressing...
Aw, man, how depressing... :fuzsad: Alca's Steef tribe are splittin' up...that's real sad... Lookin' forward to the next bit, now I'm curious about what Stranger's gonna do next...
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I wonder how the Steefs'd react on this...
Great chapters there, DS.;) Keep 'em coming.:) |
Yay! Another chapter! Nice work, DS-it was an interesting chapter.....it sounds like there are going to be some changes around the tribe. ;)
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Thanx Odd Chick:p! yes yer right about them changes... and well i'm working on the next part of the story, but it aint finnished yet. :
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Thanx BBB! They're pretty cunfused and depressed right now, cuz they really wanted to stay as one tribe and be together. and a lots of these Steefs will have problems to see their relatives and friends cuz of the splitting:( and the leaders will not tolerate ' em to see each other because of the arguing between the bro's... thanx again for reading me story everyone! See Ya soon! DS |
UPDATE!
here's some more!
The people got very confused and depressed began to whisper to each other. One said to another: - What’s Alca doing? Has he become nuts or what? Split the tribe in to four sections? What a mess, what a mess! - I agree how could Alca do this to us? I mean he’s our great leader and now he’s gonna split the tribe… oh Alca what are you doing, the other joined in. - Alca couldn’t have decided this alone… it must be his bro’s who persuaded him. Alca can’t have done this. He loves his people and the only thing his brothers want to is; to rule and doesn’t care anything ‘bout the tribe itself. - Yeah you’re right. How in the name of Odd are we going to do? * * * * * Later at noon Alca had picked up his part of the tribe. Many of these Steefs cried and in their minds thoughts spinned around. Both sad and aggressive. Thoughts like; “ oh no I’ll never see my relatives again” or “ damn Steef leaders! Why in this hour are we going to split up, when everything are doing great?” At the same time at the bro’s place… - You see guys, now we’re the leaders of the tribe… hehe is it good or what, asked Carak them with a pleased voice. - It’s so good, said Noka as he stretched and yawned, how ‘bout you Vivay? - Well… it’s great no when we’re leaders but, began Vivay before Carak interrupted him. - Great? Great?! It’s more than great it’s marvellous! Vivay you got to think a little more about your… vocabulary. I’ve been thinking ‘bout something else… - What? What is it, asked Noka. Carak cleared his throat and explained. - Now when Alca has split the tribe then we’re able to what we want to do with our shares. If we could re-unite our tribes then ours will get stronger than Alca’s and then we might be able to stay here in the heart of Mongo Valley. While our brother will move away… - Well it sounds good but…if we re-unite ours then, who’s going to be the leader, asked Vivay. - Yeah who’s going to be the leader then? Now when we are the leaders, why are we going to choose a general one, asked Noka with a cocky style. - I’ll tell you my sweet brothers…said Carak and grinned, as your bro I’ll take place as the new leader of the tribe! - YOU? Why are you going to be the leader? Haven’t we got the qualities, asked Vivay. - …What you’re going to be the one?! Oh c’mon Carak you can’t be serious… I mean why you, asked Noka as he looked with an angry look in his eyes in Carak’s. - Haven’t you got that yet? Let me explain to you then: first I’m the strongest one of you, second I’m the most good-looking and last because… - …Because you’re an evil scumbag, Vivay joined in. - I agree. It’s not fair for you to do this to us… we wants to lead a crowd of Steefs to. And when you’re going to judge then you’ll get the best advantages, right Vivay, said Noka. - Yeah and by the way I like Alca more than you, at least he was fair against us. And the only thing you do is to rule wrong, agreed Vivay. Carak growled and said with anger: - You’re completely wrong, you know and I’m still going to be the leader… - …Of your own share ‘cause Noka and I are going to lead ours to the directions we’ve chosen and that’s it, answered Vivay while he turned around. Noka nodded and went out from the hut with Vivay. - You’ll regret this you suckers, shouted Carak as he saw them walk away. see ya! DS |
GASP!
Wow, that Carak is a nasty son of a slurg isn't he... Great bit DS! :D You gotta keep the good stuff flowin'. :D
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OOh, nice stuff DS! That Carak is just sUch an ego. I'd like to poke him sometime.:p
Anyway, keep it up!:D;) |
thanx guys! i'm in a hurry right so I'll jus send the new part in:S enjoy!
- The leaders moved to their new homes with their tribes and from that day they didn’t see each other, told the Oracle. - But what happened to the Grubbs, then? I mean the Steefs are their protectors and if they move to different places, then the Grubbs wouldn’t have any chance to survive, asked Stranger. - Well when you’re asking… the Grubbs knew that the Steefs would move away. The Grubb Oracle lived among them then so she told them all ‘bout the splitting. At the first moment they didn’t know what to do, but after a while they decided to do the same as their protectors. To split their tribe and move to other places in Mongo Valley. That reduced the chance to get killed by some terrorizing creatures. Like the Wolvarks for example. - They’d move because of us? That’s too bad… sighed Stranger. - No, that’s not bad Stranger! It was because of the splitting of the Steef tribe, the Grubbs survived. - What’s that supposed to mean? The Steefs jus’ moved away without any thoughts on them. And can’t imagine what would happened if they jus’ disappeared…or died. - Stranger the Oracle’s right, the Grubb Leader began to explain, I was there when it happened. When we were splitting our tribe. It was about twenty years ago when it happened. - What are you talking ‘bout? You mean you were there and decided with the other Grubbs ‘bout? The Leader nodded and finally said: - Yes. I was one of them who did it… anyway enough about the Grubbs and me. Go on Oracle we want to know what happened next! - I’ve already told you everything about the Steefs story. I suggest you get some sleep before you leave tomorrow to your new destination, answered the Oracle as he rose up from the chair and went to his book shelf, which stood in one of the four corners in the room. - Our new destination? Asked the Leader and Stranger at the same time. - A new destination, which can become very treacherous and dangerous,… said the Oracle as he took an old map out from the shelf and went back to his seat. - But what do you mean with this new destination, then, asked the Leader. - Well… you see when I look in to your friends future I see great things. Things that will mean a lot both to the Steefs and to the Grubbs. Stuff, which will have greater meanings… - In my future? What things then great one, asked Stranger with curiosity. The Oracle glanced at the Steef and said: - Well my friend I’ll tell you, I’ll tell you… your future or your destiny is a quite heavy, but at the same times a bit simple quest. What I’m trying to say is; the remaining Steef tribes can’t be apart from each other no more and they need a general leader, who knows how to lead a flock. And now when the Steef tribes has been away from each other for so long, they certainly wants one who’s wise, who has the compassion for his people and last shows his love to them. Under these years when they’d been apart from each other, the leaders of the tribes have gone too selfish and too mad to rule well. Carak is the worse of them brothers. He has decided rules that have reduced the inhabitant’s freedom. And that’s not all; he has also left his wife. They’d two children together. Two beautiful girls. But now when she has moved to Noka’s place, then they decided to have one kid each. The two girls who loved each other very much got very sad… anyway Noka and Vivay haven’t got that mad, jus’ a bit lazy or… well too lazy to take care of their tribes wisely and the people doesn’t like their leaders style by “taking care of”. My tip is; if you could talk to the leaders about this idea then… - What? You mean I’m supposed to talk to some greedy and old Steef leaders, whom I’ve never met before and tell them about to have a general leader to their people, Stranger bursted out with supricement. The Wolclark nodded. - Ok… this is nuts. Too nuts to do. - … Well it’s a part of your destiny Stranger and you can call it what ever you want. Anyhow, Noka and Vivay are against Carak, ‘cause he has been overdoing a little bit when it comes to the rules and other stuff. So they’re walking their own way. If you two could talk to Noka and to Vivay then there might be a chance to make them change their minds. That’s only a tip form me though, but I suggest you go to Vivay first. His place isn’t far from here jus’ ‘bout eight miles. Then after you’ve been chatting with him, then to Noka and last to Carak. If they agree, ‘bout your idea then you’ll not be alone. The Wolclark laid the map on the table and pointed out where the tribes were living. - Here’s Vivay’s place. And here’s Noka’s hangout and here’s Carak’s place. I’ll mark the places out and it’ll be easier to find them. There we go… said the Oracle as he marked the areas with a pencil he’d have in one of his jacket pockets and handle it over to the Grubb. - Gee… they sure are far away form each other, said the Grubb with amazement. Stranger ogled at the map and agreed. Then the Wolclark said: - You must be very tired by now, why don’t you rest a bit while I fix your provisions for tomorrow’s journey? It’ll be a pleasure to do that for you. - Well thanks that’s very nice of you, but haven’t you done enough for us yet? I mean you’d told us almost all about the Steefs story and now you want to get some rest in YOUR house while you do OUR provisions, asked the Leader. - Yes I guess you need somebody to do that for you, after all you can’t find anything eatable out here in the deep swamps, can you? By the way I may have some food you can have for your trip. Anyway in the next room there are two beds for you. Make yourselves at home and don’t think about me, I don’t usually get visitors and it’s so nice to have you guys here, answered the Oracle while started picking up the ingredients from a small store. See Ya! DS |
*bounces up and down* Oo oo oo! That was real good and now I'm really eager to get the next bit! :D So, is Stranger gonna lead the re-united Steef tribe? Am awaitin' the next bit matie! :D
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Yeah, interesting chapter, DS. ;) I feel kinda sad for the two steef sisters that are being separated. Well, keep the story goin'! :D
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Thanx LW! well you'll see, you'll see:lol: I'm about to write next chapter soon but it'll take it's time. n' don't ya worry:) btw I thought I could send larger pieces at once cuz if i'm sending in small parts then it'll take longer time to get finished... I'm getting more n more stuff to work with in school and I'll not miss anything. so sometimes I'll wait to post ' em chapters. I'm longing for yer new part of yer story it's SO exciting:D:p :
thanx Odd Chick! it's alright ya know. Them sisters will be okay someday so don't ya worry 'bout that;) anyway I'll update this thread soon as I can and when I've done that you could send in yer comments to me:) See Ya! DS |