I'll never forget the look of bafflement on my step-sister's face when she heard that licking one's own elbow is impossible. She then proceeded to lick her own elbow.

the super power ability to mould everything in existence to what i absolutely will it to be in my minds eye. probably if i wanted to go down the dark path of conquest and force, to make what i believe to be a utopian society. but like all power-drunk megalomaniac lunatics, i suppose i would believe i was doing the world good and advancing the human race when in fact i'd likely be an absolute fucking cunt to others. one mans utopia is another's dystopia, even though i would always prefer my own version of the world.

but fuck that BEND TO MY WILL

I don't want to lick any of My own body parts.

i'd like to become invulnerable to human action, like an invisible observer. then i could sit back and watch the fucking world destroy itself while i pull up a deck chair, roll a fag and piss myself laughing at humanity eating itself.

then i'd do whatever the fuck i'd like with what's left of the planet. or go insane and kill myself once the overwhelming loneliness kicked in. one of the two.

also the super power ability to suck my own cock

That last one's really more of a flexibility issue. You can improve that with training.

Which is what we will all assume you are doing whenever we notice your absence from the forum from now on.

and that assumption would be correct.

also anal enlargement via installments

Or you could take the easy route and remove your two lower ribs.

I really have no desire to suck my own cock. I'm pretty content with letting girls do it.

Oh whatever, like you never tried it...

If they can find it.

DOHOHOHO.

I keep it tucked in a fold of fat.

But what about everyone bar yourself being wiped out? You'll soon be wishing that you had never neglected your yoga.

OANST seems to have a cloaca. You might want to get that looked at.

That reminds me of the guy in the new(ish) JK Rowling book who was so fat he had lichen covered rotting flesh inside his folds.

I guess what I'm saying is I'd like the superpower to rid the world of obesity. Or obese people. I'm not really bothered which.

So you're not bothered whether you cure a disease or render it instantly fatal?

By a doctor or a biologist?

A Doctor of Biology?

As someone who finds chubby girls cute I resent this super power! :D

No, there's a clear difference between chubby and obese.

You wouldn't a Cloverfield.

I dunno, depends how you define 'obese', I've heard people call fucking Kim Kardashian obese before.

Well, those people are wrong. "Obese" is a medical term, it's not subjective.

Then again, so was "retarded".

The medical term obese is used for people who really aren't very fat at all. It's the morbidly obese that we associate it with.

I would like the ability to stop time. Think of all the pranks....

Obesity as defined by the body mass index is total bullshit, but it's semantics. When I say 'obese', I really mean 'morbidly obese', but I'm not going to be pedantic about it.

Or we can go by the Iglesias scale;
1. Big
2. Healthy
3. Husky
4. Fluffy
5. Daaayum
6. Oh HELL no

It's not a disease!

Live and let live, I say. Just don't put a strain on the NHS if you eat yourself into a food coma. I wouldn't expect a hospital to help me if I fed myself into immobility.

They annoy me though when they get operations on it. You could die, you silly cunt, get up and go for a run, fatty.

If you are so fat that walking puts you in as much danger of a heart attack than sitting there stuffing your face, how do you suggest they get up and go for a run?

Also, do you have to swear every other line? I swear all the time and it even grates on me, you sound like a tit, to be frank.

Nep swore only once in the last five posts. Stop being a pussy.

I do swear a lot, to be fair. I know that I do it, but I don't see it as a big issue because I try not to do it around people who may get offended by it. I use it for emphasis.

It loses its power if you use it too much. Which you do.

Cunt.