actually that reminds me of something. when i was very young (under the age of 4) i almost burnt down the flat my mom and i were residing in. we had a pet rat, and as a child i was fascinated with fire and just worked out how to work a lighter. not thinking ahead, i lit some of the straw/bedding in the corner of the rat cage just to see it light up. of course it started blazing very quickly and i tried to blow it out but couldn't. panicking i ran back to bed and pretended to be asleep. my mom woke up soon after and put it out, saving our rat. she assumed it was an electrical fire or something for years until i told her it was actually me at a very young age. i felt so fucking guilty about that for ages.

when i confessed years later it was pretty much "you know when the flat almost burnt down? i think that was actually me. sorry." also for the record i love animals, especially rats, i wasn't trying to cook our pet. i was just too curious for my own good, especially when it came to fire. to be honest i didn't even know there was a rat in the cage, i just thought at the time it was a cage of straw.

OUR VERY OWN PET STRAW

Welp, I just laughed and snot went all over my face. THANKS.

That is awful STM. I hope you feel horrible for doing something so horrible you bad person, you. Gosh, stop being such a menace to society with your laugh-snot.

I'm sorry but, pet straw, I shit you now I read that just now and nearly snotted all over my face again. I need a tissue.

MA should tell about them cows with them tippings.

Cow Tipping with all the trimmings and a side of idiot (slimy, steaming, newborn calves).

I cheated. A kiss. Still.

Really the only thing I think I've ever felt bad about that didn't involve grieving my poor single mother with my adolescent shenanigans or catholic guilt.

I drank champagne once. I'm also the only person in my class to know how sex works, condoms, tampons, dildos and all that nastiness works. At least until I explained it to everyone. I also am not into girls my age, and have crushes on 16 year-olds. (What's cool is that I think they like me too!!!!!!)

EDIT: It's bad because I'm 11.

Champagne is gross.

I actually found myself sneaking into my parents liquor frequently when I was about 11. I just really enjoyed the flavour of a lot of what they bought. It wasn't until I was almost caught a couple years later when they noticed a few of the bottles were significantly lighter than they were previously and commented on it while I was in the living room doing homework that I stopped.

My brother tried to do the same some time later but he doesn't think shit through as thoroughly and as a result he was caught almost immediately.

E- Dude, you don't want those 16 year olds to be into you until you've reached THE PUBERTIES because otherwise there's something seriously wrong with those girls on a mental level.

I agree. It tastes like watered-down sprite. I hate sprite, and that kind of makes it a double-whammy. You know, drinking champagne is probably the reason for everything I said after that. What I DO like is DeKuyper Sour Apple Pucker. Stuff's gooooooood.

A little. You don't need to know yet. And I highly doubt 16 year old girls are into 11 year olds, they probably just find you cute or something.

Also Champagne gives me a fucking banging headache, I just can't drink alcohol.

Champagne is fantastic, but I' ma naturally anal gourmand and thereby obligated to like it.

Teenage girls like talking to ~11yo boys because they're at a really good, non-threatening age while still being able to have reasonable conversations and be entertaining.

11 year olds are interesting? Eleven year olds in the school below me are gobby pricks. But then...I really dislike kids.

Champagne definitely falls under the 'Bad Shit' theme.

killjoy.

EDIT: I live in Georgia, you know. It happens a lot here in the deep south.

it doesn't stop it being very creepy.

seriously girls shouldn't be your biggest concern at your age, as much as you may think they are.

Other people have said the same thing. They just like having me around....Like a human pet? I'm trying to think of a better analogy for this one.
EDIT: Like a common hamster? Like a toy? Like a chiuaua?

That is almost a good analogy.

I believe that in school it is impossible to have a real friendship with someone more than 3 years your senior, despite what you may think. There are always exceptions, like the seniors that go and date first year girls, but even the girls figure out soon enough that the kind of person that does that isn't worth their time. This is a really general statement, but it's really accurate in my observations and acquired stories over an entire schooling career.

16 year old girls that let anyone your age hang around are definitely doing it in a patronising way.

Can we just drop it now?

If you aren't prepared to discuss something then don't bring it up.

Nevermind then, Slog Bait.

Thank you, Slog Bait.

Every time I think of slog bait, I think of the fish tank from Nemo. Kind of like Shark Bait, I guess.

The female sex is predatory and enjoys having fools who are head-over-heels praise their name and bring them tribute. I've got some tribute due soon myself.

I did a bad today, I finally reactivated my Paypal account. Using junk mail as my proof of address. One less obstacle to stop me from spending money online frivolously.

Why the fuck did you accept that, Paypal what are you doing.

Oh speaking of frivolous money spending, I went to Texas for the entire length of a travel visa sans a single day to get out of the country. Wow I would've been in a lot of legal trouble if I missed that flight back. I was a moderately little shit and knew very little about what I was doing and wow that three months sucked for the most part.

^ That is a cautionary tale for people who think dating over the internet is a good idea, also. That's another bad thing I've done.

I'm a fucking gentleman, I don't do anything bad.

There was this one time I kicked someone in the face when I was 6. I don't even remember why I did it.

I taught my two-year old cousin to beat my brother's head in with a trowel.

When I was 16, I destroyed a balcony of a local court. Luckily, there was a bar just behind it, so me and some friends hide in there, but then the police showed up, so we got in a car, and get the fuck out of there. No, I wasn't drunk. The balcony was not in good shape, so I kicked it. No one get hurt. Other stuff that I do, which are considered "vandalism" is graffiti. We usually don't get the support from our local Municipal Chamber on these kind of things, so we do graffitis on everything that nobody uses, apart from churches, libraries and statues.

I stabbed My cousin in the eye with a screwdriver.

I find the holocaust funny.