Of course, I am sweet.

Anyway, I'm afraid I dun have an idea to carry on with that part of your story. I'm not a good writer.

Thanks. ^^ Didn't know I was sweet. As fer ideas..I got a few...but none you'll probably be interested in...

Great job with the story, Maiden! :D:D:D

Surely you are because you've spent your time just for reading my story. :)

I didn't mean you. :p


Just kidding, you're also included.


Why? Maybe your ideas inspire me anyway. :) Can you PM me these? I need help of everyone and everywhere.


Thank you! :happy: I'm really glad that you read my story. You're sweet too! :)

Hey! Can't you make a cool guy out if he stands in front of your eyes?



(Yes, you could...)

Alright, this is what I got so far:



--------


Frowning, Stranger watched how the clakker gave Jennadelle her reward by cash before he could take care for the prey of the actual master of this business.
The look of Stranger's gloomy, green eyes was at her so long that it gave a embarrassment to Jennadelle. But she didn't say a thing and didn't look at him. Maybe this wouldn't provoke him.
Even he has told her everything important about the bounty hunter job, his accent also told her that he would not tolerate a business competition for a long time. Probably, he just was forgiving because Jennadelle was a girl? Even this wouldn't take long so, Jennadelle knew it.
Now she put her moolah in her side pocket and cleared a space for Stranger on the counter.
Compared to Jennadelle which has just put her can trap on the counter, Stranger banged his used one in front of the clerk loudly without saying a word.
The clakker seemed to notice his bad mood, took his can trap shakely and hesitatingly and went fastly to the back room. Thereby, he was that afraid that he could not say anything.
In this moment Jennadelle dared to get a glimpse of Stranger and saw that he still leant his entangled, gorilla-like arms on the counter and still has a look right in Jennadelle's eyes too. Deterred by his forbidding appearance, Jennadelle looked away from him again and waited for the return of the clerk. Because he didn't give her the next brief yet.
Although this seemed to be hard to get the next brief with the attendance of another bounty hunter which hates business competition...
Jennadelle stood anyway. Stranger too.
The clakker came back, gave Stranger his can trap and his reward. Then the clerk stamped on Floyd's wanted poster's face a big, red "Jail". So now this case was done. And the clakker put the next wanted poster on the counter.
Jennadelle also had an inconspicuously look at it:



http://www.oddworldforums.net/attach...1&d=1160659060



"The name is The Looten Duke.", the Clakker said, "He's hiding down at the old Water Facility, stealing our water. He's forcing us to buy it from him, but we ain't buying."
The clerk looked at the two bounty hunters curiousely.
Jennadelle sensed his question just before he said it.
"Uuh, who of you is going to accept this?"
Before Jennadelle could do a thing, Stranger grabed the poster and put it under his bleached poncho.
A quite clear answer.
"Alright then, Stranger.", the clerk said, "You must go out the gate to the Water Facility. Head on down there, and he'll be down there."
And Stranger stept out the bounty store.
Jennadelle watched him untill he disappeared from her sight in the light of the glaring sun outside.
The clakker looked at her and even could read her mind while Jennadelle's eyes became smaller and smaller to an intractable look.
"Jennadelle", the clerk said stringently , "don't do it! You will just live to rue it."
But Jennadelle was not to appeal to now.
She kept track immediately to get Duke. By hook or by crook!

Oooooooooh....J, don't get in too much trouble...ah, who am I kidding? Get in all the trouble ya want! Stranger'll bail ya out...right?

That's a really good story. I can't belive that I didn't come across this thread before. Keep postin' more great chapters! :D

Yer story gets more n' more intense keep going, please! :D:D:D

Awww thank you :happy: yer sweet to ;)


~DS~

This story becomes more exciting with every new part in it.


First I wanted to say something like this too. :D Oh, well...
I guess, Jennadelle gets enough trouble in this whole story.
Else it's not interesting, isn't it...?

I really, really appreciate your comments, guys! :)

Stranger's Girl was a great help for my next part in this story. I'm really close to it but I only have to brood about it now. So thanks again, Stranger's Girl! :)

*Blushes* Aw, I only gave a few suggestions, I didn't do much, Maid. Yer the one that's actually havin' ta write all this stuff. Yer the one that's doin' all the work. ^^

Whoah, you really tantalize me, Maid! That mysterious idea sounds exciting!


Wow, a thank for giving inspirations. That is noble. :)

great work

Thanks!



(Ha! I made you guys read this even there's no story yet, LOL! :evil:)

Darn, you got me!

Ya got me too! xD

...oh my god. Four months. I'm feeling so terrible to keep friends waiting for the next parts of my story. :eek:
Uh... I hope, you know the important things of the told story yet.
If so, thank you very much for your patience (and loyalty). :)
Anyway, here's the next little part. (Perhaps there are some mistakes in writing... if so, please tell me. :))
Hope, you'll enjoy.


---



Meanwhile Stranger has hurried up with his bounty hunt. En route, he has baged about a handful of outlaws after a short time.
This strange girl that he has seen a little while ago has almost gave him the creeps, and he couldn't stand business competition anyway! There had to be nothing standing on Stranger's way to get enough moolah now. After all, it was for a vital surgery which Stranger hardly needed in any case before it could be too late. And the time worked against him. Everyone worked against that lonely bounty hunter. And this time there was also that strange girl, which actually never anybody has seen before, to stand on his way.
Stranger traversed a road close between high and precipitous rocks, which were high enough that you could hide behind the next corner easily. Like, in case if somebody goes after you. Stranger ran along that road. But suddenly, he stopped and turned around. Waiting.
When Jennadelle sneaked up around the corner to him she had to notice that Stranger perceived her as more calculable than she thought he could at last.
"I've told you to go away!", Stranger said angry.
Jennadelle was silent, frowning. Stranger just had not to tell her anything. Nobody had to tell her anything she had to do. At last, she was the one who has baged more outlaws than him before. Jennadelle plucked up courage and went past Stranger with a quite serious face. But she stopped immediately when she heard a familiar sound.
Clack-click-clack-clack-click.
Jennadelle turned around slowly and saw the crossbow aiming for her.
"Have I to be clearer?"
There was that brown, furry animal on his weapon again which growled and snarled. Nervously, Jennadelle grited her teeth.
Damn!,she thought, Those beasts again.
"You wouldn't dare...!", she said quietly with a menacing undertone.
Stranger still looked in her eyes very seriously. His glance said everything. There needn't to be any more answers now.
"Just... go back.", he said slowly and precisely, "That's my last warning to you."
In the meantime, the live ammo had a look at its next prey. The beast growled again... but this time, in a low voice.

oh, Cool! Atlast! a new part!:D I really waited for it! great job!:)

Heh, I almost doubt about the coming parts. :) Nice to see more of them.

That part is exciting, can't wait to see the next one as well!

absoulutely briliant please make more chapters

Thank you very much for your kind comments, guys! :) That motivates me.
Here's the next part of the chapter:

--

Abruptly, Bullets perforated the ground. Jennadelle and Stranger looked around and saw that they were surrounded by three outlaws.
"Dammit, Jack!", the first one yelled to his fellow, "You could not even hit a clakker if he'd stand one meter in front of you!"
Thereupon, Jack snarled angry.
"Now I'll show how to do this right!", the first outlaw said and load his gun.
But surprisedly, Stranger was not there anymore. Jennadelle didn't noticed his disappearance too. As the only aim for the outlaws, now she had different problems though.
"Yeah, make that lady dance, Sam!", the second outlaw laughed while the first one let out his whole ammo at Jennadelle loudly.
But Jennadelle was not to hit as easy as thought. Even you could not see it in her face, Jennadelle seemed to know where Sam was going to shot next, a second before and jumped away from these points just in time. Over and over again. And she cursed all the time.
"Oh.", Sam said a bit surprised, "That girl really is different from all persons, I shot before."
"Why?", Jack asked unimpressed while Sam kept shooting, "Is it because she doesn't sceam? Because she doesn't call for help? Or is it because she doesn't beg for mercy?"
"No.", Sam answered, still shooting, "She is just..."
"...a too hard aim for you, eh?", the third outlaw laughed sneeringly, "You could not even hit a clakker if he'd stand one meter in front of you, said someone who can't even shoot a girl!"
"Shut up, Tom!", Jack yelled seriously and nervous, "I mean, she's different because..."
And suddenly, in a unforeseen moment, Jennadelle stood next to him.
"...because nobody ever survived who tried to thwart me!"
Shocked and stunned, Tom and Sam saw their fellow got teared limb from limb by that beast in only a few seconds.
When Jennadelle turned to the other two outlaws, angry and with outstretched and bloodied claws, Jack was the first one who could recollected hiself and he aimed for Jennadelle with his weapon: "You're gonna rue this you filthy, little...!"
Right in that moment a spider wrapped him in a white net and then this outlaw wriggled on the ground totally helpless and captived.
Sam, who was the only one left now, paniced and fleed immediately. Jennadelle wanted to run after him but this was not needed anymore. A second spider was already shot and hit Sam.
Stranger was there again and meanwhile he let his can trap collect his preys. He got all three one. One dead, two alive. And the bounty hunter went ahead his way without a look back.
"Hey!", Jennadelle shouted, "One of them belongs to me!"
Stranger paused, unimpressed.
"So that means...", he turned around, "you truly won't stay out my way?!"
Very seriously, Jennadelle looked in his eyes. She has just killed an outlaw in a quite brutal way without feeling any remorseful. So why should she give up now?
Jennadelle kept staying, and saw Stranger deep in his frowning eyes.
And she answered: "You are staying in my way, Stranger!"
Immediately and unhesitatingly, Stranger aimed for Jennadelle with his crossbow again... and he shot.

that was brilliant

Exciting part. Keep it up, can't wait to read more! :D

Thanks, guys! :D

I hope, the latest part was not too violent... but I'm afraid, that's what Jennadelle is. :)
But the story is surely gonna show more than just fights.

Anyway, next parts are coming soon... (the translating takes long. :fuzemb:)

You're welcome. I look forward to the next part.

I don't think there is gonna stay a "THE END". :laugh:

Snarling, the live ammo ricocheted. Keeping silent but also a bit surprised, Jennadelle noticed that this beast didn't attack her. Although it still looked at her madly. Stranger lowered his crossbow when he saw that his ammo didn't make any impact. It seemed to be the very first time this happened.
Silently, both watched the snarling, fury animal which however removed itself from Jennadelle, slowly.
"What is that animal?", Jennadelle asked when she saw the thing leaving.
Suddenly, three more of them got shot in front of Jennadelle's feet.
Usually, they have had attacked, like the outlaws which Jennadelle has seen before. But this time, they just did not. When Jennadelle looked in their eyes, they stopped snarling and left.
"These're fuzzles.", Jennadelle heard Stranger saying quietly.
And he let putting back his crossbow. Both bounty hunters looked at each other in silence. There was almost a hint of surprise to see in Stranger's face. His carnivorous ammo were really afraid of Jennadelle.
"Who are you?", Stranger asked seriously, "Except for me, you're the only one who gets not attacked by the fuzzles."
"I am Jennadelle.", Jennadelle answered, "But who are you?"
"I'm known as Stranger."
"I mean, what's your real name?"
"Tell me who you are really.", Stranger said even more serious, "I never saw you in these parts before."
Jennadelle didn't want to tell him about her loss of memory, that would have been to uncomfortable for her. But why didn't Stranger want to tell his name anyway?
"You've a secret.", Jennadelle said beeing sure, even she knew, this was a grea risk to say that. She just pressurized an experienced bounty hunter what could make him get angry. Actually, Jennadelle didn't want him to be her enemy.
"Just go back home and leave Duke to me if you don't want to get some trouble.", Stranger said strictly and turned around to go along his way.
But Jennadelle didn't give up yet: "What trouble? Your ammo doesn't attack me and I'm too fast for you, you couldn't catch me ever!"
Stranger paused. Jennadelle was right on this point.
Waiting behind Stranger, she sighed quitely. Actually, she really knew that he never would tolerate her for too long. But at least, long enough to find out why he aroused a strange interest in Jennadelle. She felt the harmonica in her pocket. Maybe this hunting, working together with Stranger, could tell her more about her lost memories than her instrument and the melodies which Jennadelle has played on it before.


--

What next? To be continued... :)

I just wonder, what do you guys think is gonna happen now?

Fuzzles are afraid of her? Interesting.

I've no idea about a good sequel to this. But I look forward to yours. :D

Later in this story, I'll let you know why. :D

No problem. Next part is coming soon.

Thats a Fanastic story, Strangers Maid, keep up the brillant work!