Oddworld Forums - Bits and Pieces VI (Charlie sucks balls edition)

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Well excuuuuuuuuuse, princes!

Had to be done.

The Wild Stranger

The sun was high and the trees stirred lightly in the breeze. Joe strode along the path, making for Sweaty Castle with all speed. Hidden from the eyes of man and beast, he carried the Maddening Dock, which no other must touch until it could be delivered into the safekeeping of the Wizard Ass.

A rustling of the dried leaves beside the path gave him warning and he drew his beastial rapture just in time to face the numbing woman who flew at him with such grace that he was almost dazzled.

The woman struck roughly, and Joe barely raised his rapture to meet the attack. They fought long and angrily until all the air rang with the sound of their conflict.

At last, Joe found himself forced to one knee, the woman's rapture pressed to his huge pussy. "I am Brian of Sweaty Castle," she said. "You are an unworthy guardian for the Maddening Dock. Prepare yourself, for I am about to send you at the edge."

But Joe had been waiting for such a chance and, bringing up his rapture with a twist, overpowered Brian and pinned her to the ground. "What say you now?" Joe said, looking down upon her.

Brian's leg shimmered Like the rays of the sun at the beginning of time. "I have underestimated you, Joe. I was sent to test your fitness for this task. To you I pledge my loyalty...and more."

Joe's desire was enflamed. His pussy throbbed and all his thoughts were to thrust Brian like a lion. Joe caressed Brian's hot leg and she responded. They came together languidly, and their joining was as tasty as their battle, and also much louder.

"Ah, my sweet universe!" Joe groaned and climaxed Brian as powerfully as he could.

"Ouch!" she yelled. "What the hell is that?"

"Oh," Joe said. "That's where I put the Maddening Dock for safekeeping. Sorry."

When they had finished their romp, they drowsed condescendingly on the grass, forgetful of all but their sweet love. "We will stay together forever," Brian said, and they began all over again.

And so it was that the Wizard Ass never got the Maddening Dock and the forces of evil overwhelmed the land and nobody was happy ever again, at least until the sequel came out.

This is fun.

Philanthropic Love

Barry finished packing. Ever since Charlie, his own true love, had been lost at sea, Barry had been homophobic.

There was nothing left for him anymore, nothing crunched him, all was deathly. So today, Valentine's Day, he was going under the bridge to become a sticky earplug.

Just then, there was a stupid knock at the door. Barry opened it and stood there seductively for a moment, before falling to the floor in a swoon and bruising his penis.

When Barry came to, Charlie was holding his femur and looking stuffy. "My love," Charlie said suddenly, "I'm sorry for the arborial shock. I've been shipwrecked on a hairy island for the last ten years, living like the octopus that plays the drums. I was only rescued last week." She paused. "I lost my leg in the wreck. Can you still love me?"

Barry could hardly believe his Charlie had returned. "I will always love you, leg or no leg. Besides, you can cover it up with a shit."

They embraced bizarrely and vowed to never be parted again.

And all was purple.

An Earplug In Time

On a purple and sticky morning, Barry sat under the bridge. It was Valentine's Day and he was all alone. His penis ached in sorrow for the secret love that he could never share. How could he expect Charlie to love someone with a hairy femur?

Suddenly, he began to recite a poem he had composed. "Ah, my love is like a stuffy deathly hairbrush, all on a summer's day. I wish my Charlie would crunch me, in her own philanthropic way..."

"Do you?" Charlie sat down beside Barry and put her hand on Barry's leg. "I think that could be arranged."

Barry gasped randomly. "But what about my hairy femur?"

"I like it," Charlie said seductively. "I think it's homophobic."

They came together and their kiss was like the octopus that plays the drums.

"I love you," Barry said slowly.

"I love you too," Charlie replied and crunched him.

They bought a cuttlefish, moved in together, and lived bizarrely ever after.

...and then they crunched each other all night long.

It is.

The Adventure Of The Frog

Stan and Carl were out for a glistening Valentine's walk in the cave. As they went, Carl rested his hand on Stan's elbow. It was the most romantic walk ever. But even though the day was so stupid, Stan was filled with shimmering dread.

"Do you suppose it's thunderous here?" he asked creamily.

"You golden silly," Carl said, tickling Stan with his porthole. "It's completely short."

Just then, a stiff Frog leapt out from behind a sugar and porked Carl in the penis. "Aaargh!" Carl screamed.

Things looked flacid. But Stan, although he was jiggly, knew he had to save his love. He grabbed a critter and, like a testicle that has been drained of all it's love juice, beat the Frog jauntily until it ran off. "That will teach you to pork innocent people."

Then he clasped Carl close. Carl was bleeding pompously. "My darling," Stan said, and pressed his lips to Carl's bum.

"I love you," Carl said horrendously, and expired in Stan's arms.

Stan never loved again.

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I can't believe you didn't use Stranger and Master Chief.

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Doesn't show up.

Jeez, haven't you worked out what to do when that happens yet?

Quote the post, copy the URL, paste it in to the browser and view it.

Not that this one was really worth the effort.

Oh boy, I'm definitely going to do that because I really want to see that amazing picture of MM's!

Anyways, this is quite an interesting video:

Nickelodion brings you a classic in hip new digs!

Half-Life as you've never seen it before - Okay so the animations look a bit weird in places but still, awesome. :D

That's just horrible.

The image that didn't work before. Yes, it isn't amazing. It's just Bits 'n' Pieces standard. > http://www.cyriak.co.uk/gifs/darwin.gif

I remember this comic! It used to be in PC gamer! And you can read them all in about 20 minutes.

http://www.rockpapershotgun.com/tag/strafe-left/page/5/

Fucking epic. So going to watch this.

Four Men In A Car (embedding disabled)

i love The Trap Door, but Christ, this episode is easily the eeriest one.

Apologies if this has already been posted. I thought it was fairly impressive.

Speaking of fan work, INTERPRATIVE DANCE!

reminds me of this:

YES I'VE POSTED IT BEFORE WATCH IT AGAIN

Windows 8 being shown off at a developer's conference.