Well, I took DarkHoodness' (I think) advice and bumped uglies without a condom, all I can say is that I hate those fucking slippy willy socks, now. Oh, so does she, but still even though we hate them so there's always that last minute rush for the 'dom.

He was right, using a condom is like putting cling-film around your tongue before eating a tasty meal.

Except a meal won't give you indigestion that lasts for the rest of your life. Or costs you money. Or gives you a disease.

Not that I'm one to talk. I think I've worn maybe three condoms in my life.

Condoms are a bitch. I really hate them, it defintely feels better without but when I'm working away without, I have this worry at the back of my mind that I could end up with a disease afterwards.

Of course it's better without a condom, but in my book the risk of getting some decease or worse, getting her pregnant, do not outweigh the downsides.

Yeah, I advise using your white matter in such considerations. That grey matter is a bad influence.

We're talking about poultry now?

I know that I won't get a disease so that's one worry out the window and as I mentioned, I still use one before climaxing. Either way, I'm sure my pulling out reactions are a lot quicker than my ejaculatory ones.

But then, I don't like babies so maybe I should play it really safe, grit my teeth and slap on some rubber?

I've never 'bumped uglies' without a condom.

It's either 'you have one, or fuck off'. I'm not shooting seed in you or catching a filthy disease.

I've rarely seen so much ignorance in two sentences.

I should probably explain, so this poor kid can learn a thing or two so here it goes.

1. You can never know 100% sure you won't get a decease. Even if you trust the girl, you can't trust the 10 guys that did her before you.

2. Using a condom just when you climax is just as good as not using one at all. Your semen valves are not suddenly opened when you ejaculate, you know. There's seed in your precum as well and you wouldn't be the first idiot to get a girl pregnant that way.

3. And no, your pulling out reaction is not quicker than your ejaculation reaction. Besides, even if it is, it completely ruins the moment if you ask me.

Condescending twat.

I trust the hymen that popped whenever I put my dick in her... so I think I'm okay on that part and I'll admit, I didn't know about pre-cum or anything so there we go. Lesson learned. Once again rubbers will be used from now on.

People can get all kinds of STD's from all kinds of stuff. Kissing, blowjobs, just rubbing, blood transfer, misuse of medical equipment, you name it.

Or to use a very appropriate quote: Assumption is the mother of all mistakes.

So... I should get cling film for my tongue? I agree with what you're saying and appreciate you telling me. I think I should mention, even though I know it only takes the once, that we only ever did that once just to see what the experience was like. After that one time we went back to the condoms and we'll continue to use them.

On the topic, has anyone considered using/uses two+ forms of contraception to be extra sure or simply by coincidence?

Coincidence, yes.

She was on the pill, but I still wore a condom. I wasn't taking any chances.

I've already said to my girlfriend that she should consider going on the pill or something, and I would still use condoms if she decides to do so. Although, I'm quite looking forward to these bad boys: Contraceptive pill for men.

I'm also thinking for a vasectomy, I think I've already discussed this with you Dix outside the forums? But yeah, I would like one of those.

Me too.
There is a risk of loss of desire though. Though I can't recall if this was a purely mental issue.

I've done my research on it and apparently there is no effect on your sex drive. I may actually go to my GP sometime next week and ask about it. I don't think I'll put any sperm on ice either... if I want a kid, I'll adopt one that needs a family.

My GF absolutely refuses to use any kind of contraceptive that uses hormones, because she doesn't like the idea of that stuff messing with her body. I can respect that, but that also means the inconvenience of a condom.

I've been pondering a vasectomy as well, even though the sheer idea of a needle going anywhere down that area is completely horrifying. It would solve a lot of problems though. Just one snip and you never have to worry about pregnancy again.

Well, it could reverse itself but that's pretty damn rare and I'm uncomfortable as well about the whole needle/scissor/scalpel thing but I would still go for it, no questions asked. I'd probably ask for it to be done scalpel free style.

As for the pill, I wouldn't force my girlfriend to take them, I just asked her to consider it and I'd understand if she doesn't want to go on it. Speaking of my girlfriend, I might not even tell her what I've got planned for my vas deferens.

Yep. I'm thinking of throwing my lot in with you also.

And Sekto, I think the loss of desire thing varies from person to person. My dad had a vasectomy not long after I was born, and he has the sex drive of a 16 year old. So, I don't think there's any long-term complications as far as I'm aware.

It's not uncommon for a couple to use both condoms and spermicidal gel. Condoms only have a 98% reliability rate*, after all.

Wait... you had unprotected sex with her without her being on the pill? What on earth were you thinking?









*Approximately. Varies by brand.

It wasn't advice, I was just complaining about how uncomfortable they are. Yeah of course I'm right with that but it doesn't mean you should do the deed without any contraception at all unless you really do mean to have children. :S Think I'm just repeating what everyone else is saying with that, though.

I'm not using condoms at the moment. In a long-term relationship I don't think it matters too much when you know the rules; she's on the pill, and we stopped using condoms because it's better without and it's cheaper. I suppose I'll start going on the man-pill when that becomes widely distributed, but having been doing it without a condom and with her on the pill for over a year and a half now and having no scares, I trust in the success rate of the pill.

On an unrelated note, how do I talk my girlfriend into a threesome with another girl? Discuss.

Threesomes + long term relationship = problematic. The fact that you want to have sex with another girl is already a sign that you're not totally committed to your partner, and she'll take note of that. Anyway, threesomes and relationships are just bad. Eventually feelings wind up getting involved, and someone gets hurt. Then there are trust and jealousy issues, as well as major intimacy boundaries that are being broken. If it was something she was into, or something you really wanted, it seems like one of you should have mentioned it early on, not a year and a half after the fact.

Also, put yourself in her shoes. If she asked you to have a threesome with another man, would you be okay with it? I'm sure you're going to spout off about how it would be 'gay', or how it's different because there would be another penis involved, but the principles are exactly the same.

In my experience (just the one time, not with a girl obviously) they are very easy to do in a relationship. Just ask, though I will be honest. I did already arange things with the other guy before I actually asked "Would you like a threesome?" Lucky for me the answer was yes.

@DI

Actually I think that to say that threesomes and relationships are problematic is unfair. Maybe for the majority it's problematic because most people don't know what on earth they are doing, or they are strictly monogamous. But if a relationship has enough openness and trust and good communication it can work. Different kinks for different people, right?
What about those swingers? They seem to be enjoying themselves a lot. In fact I've heard about many relationships where it seems to work.
I think me and Chris had a sort of kind of threesome once, but I dunno if it counts. It was a bit weird. But we never felt bad about it. I enjoyed it.

So to say that there's one truth and one truth only regarding relationships(Im not saying you said this) is wrong. But some people are strictly monogamous, while others feel good and able to play with more partners. And there's absolutely nothing wrong with either scenario as long as people enjoy themselves and aren't having problems out of it.

But maybe Im not one to talk considering im quite unconventional x_x


Edit: Yet again, I said too much, didn't I? :D

Good points all.

To clarify a few things, if she asked me for a threesome, honestly I wouldn't be offended, but perhaps a little curious as to why. I've mentioned to her since we started going out that a threesome would be ace, and that's almost three years ago now. She agreed that it would be better with an extra girl rather than a guy, and assured me that I could probably handle two women (which was LOL, by the way :p). Main question here is, how would you go about asking?

By the way, there are no trust issues. It's purely curiosity which drives this desire.

EDIT: That's what I mean, our relationship is very trusting and open, I think it would be under wraps.

However, T-nex, I'm curious as to what a 'sort of kind of threesome' encompasses. It's an incredibly vague summary. :p

I suggest that if you do ask, try it when shes horny or a situation like that (I did) Doesn't seem like a good idea just to walk up to her when shes watching tv and saying "Would you like a threesome?"

But goresplatter, what kind of threesome would you be willing to have?
What if you ask her for a threesome and she says: YES! Sounds like a GREAT idea! Who will the other guy be??

The image of that last scenario amuses me so much that I might have to do it. Look at what you've done now! :D

But yes you do have a very good point. I may perhaps try it soon...

Obvious preference is a second girl, but honestly, I think she shares that preference. She occasionally tells me of girls she finds sexy, which I often agree to. Most often celebrities, but still. :p

If a two guy threesome was suggested, I have no idea. No question about it if it was someone like Johnny Depp, heheh. Probably depends on why and how, and whether I'd get my preference as sexual payment (we all know this exists, don't deny it). I do, however, refer you to this song;

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pi7gwX7rjOw

In my opinion humans have never been and never will be monogamous, no matter how much people try to pretend that they are. Every person, male or female, looks at the sex they are attracted to no matter if they are in relationship. And especially a lot of males would jump at the opportunity to have sex with a woman they have been eyeing for a while, if their partner gave them sincere permission.

Luckily I'm in a relationship where we both realize that we simply like looking at other people as well. So she's allowed to look, flirt and have sex with others and at the same time so am I. That doesn't mean we don't love each other. We love each other immensely and our sex live is much above average. We're not lacking anything except the 'thrill of the hunt' as it were.

So for us a threesome would work (in fact, we're looking for a female participant but for some reason those are surprisingly hard to find). But a relationship like that does require an open mindset that not a lot of people (want to) have. And if it's not for you, it's not for you. Like T-nex said; different kinks, different people.

How do you have a sort of kind of threesome? Details, woman!