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-   -   I Have Just Seen... VI (http://www.oddworldforums.net/showthread.php?t=21092)

Sekto Springs 03-04-2013 12:43 PM

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I have to agree there. I think kids movies suffer from this the most. Things like Tangled, Brave, Up. Logically showing all the best bits of the movie should be exciting and draw people to see the film, but for some reason it doesn't work.

Bear in mind that these trailers are aimed at the kids, not the adults. Kids laugh at fart jokes, slapstick, and bad puns, so they use those gags that usually take up less than 1/10th of the movie to advertise it. Kids don't have money, but adults do, and adults will only pay to see it if their kid wants to.

I remember sitting through several such trailers before Frankenweenie. The ratio of kids giggling and shouting "Let's see that!" to parents groaning and rolling their eyes was 1:1.

That's not to say all kids are rubes with bad taste. A trailer is only as good as the movie itself, and kids can still spot mediocrity even if you isolate all the best scenes.

Example:


MA 03-04-2013 03:06 PM

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So, I watched Twilight: Breaking Dawn The Deuce last night. You know how everyone hates on a thing so hard that you think it must be at least somewhat exaggeration, and a lot of just joining a band wagon because it's fun to hate things sometimes? Well, this movie isn't like that. This was by far the worst movie I have ever seen in my life. The fact that the director got paid actual money for turning in this boring piece of crap depresses me more than almost anything I can think of. This was the slowest paced film in the history of film. Literally nothing happens for ninety percent of the movie, and then when something does finally happen it was all a dream sequence. There was no reason for the "bad guys" to act in the way they did, and their choice of waiting months so that the "good guys" could amass an army before attacking them was so goddamn stupid that they couldn't possibly be a threat to begin with. No one that dumb is scary.

The acting was atrocious, but what could you expect? These people were clearly hired for their looks, and not for their acting ability. Or maybe I take that back. The script was so bad that it's impossible to say whether or not the people saying the lines were doing a good or bad job. There was no way that anyone could have made that dialogue sound interesting.

There were a few redeeming qualities to the film. The one bad guy had the most amazing laugh I have ever heard. Also, the creepy pedophile werewolf's looks of longing at the baby were fucking hilarious.

my god you're fucking tainted.

that shit is like an infectious disease. stay away from me.

OANST 03-05-2013 05:04 AM

Watched it for my girlfriend. I kept my mouth shut through the entire film, but thought it would be safe to talk about how bad it was once it was over. Nooooooo. Bad idea. Holy shit did she get mad at me. She is still barely talking to me.

Varrok 03-05-2013 05:15 AM

Lesson one: You just can't criticize a Twilight movie while talking to a girl, until she starts.

Vyrien 03-05-2013 07:37 AM

Twilight is an abomination

MeechMunchie 03-05-2013 08:17 AM

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You just can't [criticize a Twilight movie] while talking to a girl, until she starts.

Just like masturbation!

OANST 03-05-2013 09:48 AM

To be fair, once I get going on something I can be brutal about it, and she began to feel like I was belittling her for liking it. Which wasn't my intention, but still, I can see why she would feel that way.

It is a really bad fucking movie, though.

Mr. Bungle 03-05-2013 11:15 AM

Your girlfriend is a Twilight fangirl?

Damn.

OANST 03-05-2013 11:37 AM

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Your girlfriend is a Twilight fangirl?

Damn.

It's weird because she is so not girly, but what do I care if she likes a crappy movie? I probably like tons of stuff that other people hate.

Besides, she is obsessed with Dark Shadows. That trumps everything.

MA 03-05-2013 04:26 PM

it's vampires at the end of the day. there's something about cold, dead guys sucking out your blood through pointy straws that turns the ladies on.

maybe i should be a dead guy

Bullet Magnet 03-06-2013 03:20 AM

Hold your cattle there, sport. The science isn't quite there yet. Death is not yet something science can do.

OANST 03-06-2013 06:59 AM

We watched it Sunday night. It took until about an hour ago for us to normalize. In the future I am going to ask Varrok's opinion before I open my mouth because that boy was very right. Very, very right.

Varrok 03-06-2013 07:01 AM

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We watched it Sunday night. It took until about an hour ago for us to normalize. In the future I am going to ask Varrok's opinion before I open my mouth because that boy was very right. Very, very right.

As always, I'm happy to help

Sekto Springs 03-07-2013 07:44 AM

I'm so happy my fiancee hates all the same things I hate.

Manco 03-07-2013 09:53 AM

You?

OANST 03-07-2013 12:13 PM

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I'm so happy my fiancee hates all the same things I hate.

I'm sure that's nice, but to be honest it doesn't feel all that terribly important to me. Besides, I just don't have the energy to hate things with the kind of ferocity that I used to. I'm more mildly amused by how bad things are now than actually hating them.

Mr. Bungle 03-07-2013 12:15 PM

Amusement is always much healthier than hate, anyways. I like your new stance on terrible.

Crashpunk 03-09-2013 04:17 AM

I watched that Taskshi's Castle reboot last night. To be honest, Dick and Dom didn't do an amazing job narrating it. It was funny but it didn't suit Dick and Dom at all, most of the time they were trying to think of whitty puns to go with the clips, struggling to think of something funny to say.

...I really missed Craig Charles, he made that show even better.

OANST 03-09-2013 09:25 AM

Went to the theater with Stephanie, and saw John Dies at the End last night. We smoked some really good pot before going in, and had a really good time. I'm not sure that it was an extremely good movie, but it was an extremely fun movie. Especially stoned.

Dynamithix 03-12-2013 09:01 AM

Watched City of God today. It was great, very good acting and interesting plot.

Steamer_KING 03-12-2013 09:17 AM

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Watched City of God today. It was great, very good acting and interesting plot.

Dude, you really are getting in to the "favela" thing. Have you seen "Elite Squad"? It's a really good movie and one of the most real you'll get. Also, see "Bus 174", to witness the hard reality of Brazil.

Dynamithix 03-12-2013 09:39 AM

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Dude, you really are getting in to the "favela" thing.

Haha, yeah, after playing the favela chapters in Max Payne 3 I remembered I hadn't watched City of God yet even though it had been sitting on my shelf for almost a month already. I have heard about Tropa de Elite, might watch that some day.

Steamer_KING 03-12-2013 09:49 AM

I haven't seen the second one, but the first is really great.

Sekto Springs 03-12-2013 11:33 AM

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You?

That's the one thing we don't mutually hate. I hate me. She loves me. I keep telling her to hate me but she just doesn't get it.

So I showed my somewhat sheltered friend the entire Alien series (he hadn't seen it). He hated 'Aliens', which I was happy about, because I often feel like I'm the only person who thinks that one is a pile of dick.

Nepsotic 03-12-2013 11:04 PM

Aliens is the best film ever made you are a terrible person.


I'll tell you what's shit. The 4th one. The third one was alright, the first is really really good, but Alien: Ressurection is a huge pile of jizzcock.

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I keep telling her to hate me but she just doesn't get it.
You should tell her you hate Aliens.

Josh 03-13-2013 02:08 AM

At least the Aliens in the 4th film didn't look like they did in the 3rd. bleck

Wings of Fire 03-13-2013 07:37 AM

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The third one was alright

I was with you until this.

It's not quite Terminator 3, but it's pretty fucking bad.

Sekto Springs 03-13-2013 08:45 AM

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Aliens is the best film ever made you are a terrible person.
Aliens is a perfect demonstration of how James Cameron was the Michael Bay of the 80's (besides Michael Bay). I think I've already gone over why it's a terrible movie earlier in this thread. In a nutshell, it's a badly written cartoon that shat on everything that made the first one so memorable and provocative.

From there I'll segue into why Alien 3 is actually the best sequel, because it tried to restore the atmosphere of the first movie, plus it has outstanding characterization, subtle cinematography, and it's just downright well-scripted. Say what you will about the visual FX, they were pretty eye-opening for their time. My buddy actually mistook some of the Alien shots for CG, and was impressed when I told him it was actually a complex rod puppet shot on blue screen.

I challenge anyone here to actually watch both movies back to back (as I just did), ignoring what the internet tells you to think about them, and tell me definitively why Aliens is good and Aliens 3 isn't.

If we're talking from a strictly "movie magic" standpoint, Aliens has all the others beat by a mile. It has the most going on and the coolest special FX, but at the cost of the writing and atmosphere.

Wings of Fire 03-13-2013 08:59 AM

Alien was a good well written and crafted horror movie.

Aliens was a very good memorable and charming action movie. I'm pretty sure James Cameron even said he made Aliens as an action movie because he believed just doing Alien again would be shitty and derivative, obviously he was right because...

Alien 3 was a stupid contrived horror movie that went out of its way to shit on Aliens.

Your criticisms basically rest on the fact that Alien was horror and Aliens is action. That accounts for the difference in writing and atmosphere. And Cameron being the Bay of the 80s? Really now? On what grounds else from Aliens? Terminator maybe? I've not seen The Abyss so I can't comment on that, but Bay's movies are soulless charmless special effects showcases. Certainly you could make the argument for Titanic and Avatar being that, but not Aliens and Terminator/2.

Mac Sirloin 03-13-2013 09:03 AM

All of you are stupid-wrong. The correct answer is that all media is disgusting poisonous drek and James Cameron is a financially irresponsible manbaby.

Sekto Springs 03-13-2013 09:21 AM

The Abyss is actually a great movie for what it is, and it's probably the only Cameron movie I'll defend to the end. That and True Lies. Neither of which were actually from Cameron's own brain, which might explain why I like them more than his original works.

When I compare Cameron to Bay, it's not so much the quality of the overall movie, as it is his mentality when making it. The first Alien was all the beats of a haunted house movie, but in space, with the benefit of some Kubrickian ambiance and a troupe of acting greats who took a hastily written beatsheet and made it shine. Aliens is the same movie, but with lots of guns, explosions, space marines who don't act anything like marines facing off against a bajillion aliens that have been nerfed to disposable cannon fodder, the inclusion of a little girl for ham-fisted pathos, and a final showdown that feels like it's right out of a video game.

So yeah, arguably all of these things are perfectly acceptable in an action movie, but I don't like action movies. While Alien 3 is essentially just the first movie in a different setting, I was happy to see it return to the haunted house shtick, and the writing and characters didn't make me nauseous.

Nepsotic 03-13-2013 10:07 AM

How come nobody has mentioned the hellspawn that is Alien 4?

Dynamithix 03-13-2013 11:26 AM

Alien: Resurrection isn't that bad, I enjoyed it for what it was. I'm not saying it's a good movie either but I didn't hate it.

Manco 03-13-2013 12:29 PM

For the record, I didn’t like Alien when I saw it.

Sekto Springs 03-13-2013 12:40 PM

Resurrection is okay. I'm biased because I love Juenet as a director and I love the fucking circus of a cast. You can tell none of the people working on the movie took it seriously, and were only barely trying to make an Alien movie.

OANST 03-13-2013 12:52 PM

I think of that movie the way I think of AIDS. I really don't want to get AIDS.

Bullet Magnet 03-14-2013 03:53 AM

The screenplay was good. I don't know who fucked it up.

OANST 03-14-2013 05:50 AM

Winona Ryder.

Dynamithix 03-14-2013 06:27 AM

I'm actually looking forward to watching this. I don't really care if it's bad or dumb, if it's anywhere near as entertaining as the first one was for me, I'll probably like it.


Nepsotic 03-14-2013 07:37 AM

Kick-Ass is the only spoof film done right. If you don't know what I mean by that then let me jog your memory.
Vampires Suck
Disaster Movie
Teen Movie
Scary Movie
Every film with Movie on the end.

Suddenly Kick-Ass doesn't seem as bad.