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I'm also thinking for a vasectomy, I think I've already discussed this with you Dix outside the forums? But yeah, I would like one of those.

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On the topic, has anyone considered using/uses two+ forms of contraception to be extra sure or simply by coincidence?

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I've already said to my girlfriend that she should consider going on the pill or something

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Well, I took DarkHoodness' (I think) advice and bumped uglies without a condom

...

He was right, using a condom is like putting cling-film around your tongue before eating a tasty meal.

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I'm not using condoms at the moment. In a long-term relationship I don't think it matters too much when you know the rules; she's on the pill, and we stopped using condoms because it's better without and it's cheaper. I suppose I'll start going on the man-pill when that becomes widely distributed, but having been doing it without a condom and with her on the pill for over a year and a half now and having no scares, I trust in the success rate of the pill.

On an unrelated note, how do I talk my girlfriend into a threesome with another girl? Discuss.

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I'm not using condoms at the moment. In a long-term relationship I don't think it matters too much when you know the rules; she's on the pill, and we stopped using condoms because it's better without and it's cheaper. I suppose I'll start going on the man-pill when that becomes widely distributed, but having been doing it without a condom and with her on the pill for over a year and a half now and having no scares, I trust in the success rate of the pill.

On an unrelated note, how do I talk my girlfriend into a threesome with another girl? Discuss.

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But if a relationship has enough openness and trust and good communication it can work.

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I suggest that if you do ask, try it when shes horny or a situation like that (I did) Doesn't seem like a good idea just to walk up to her when shes watching tv and saying "Would you like a threesome?"

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But goresplatter, what kind of threesome would you be willing to have?
What if you ask her for a threesome and she says: YES! Sounds like a GREAT idea! Who will the other guy be??

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Threesomes + long term relationship = problematic. The fact that you want to have sex with another girl is already a sign that you're not totally committed to your partner, and she'll take note of that.

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How do you have a sort of kind of threesome? Details, woman!

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How do you have a sort of kind of threesome? Details, woman!

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Also no details for YOU mistah.... Some things are better left for imagination!... wait.. no. Dont.

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In my opinion humans have never been and never will be monogamous, no matter how much people try to pretend that they are. Every person, male or female, looks at the sex they are attracted to no matter if they are in relationship. And especially a lot of males would jump at the opportunity to have sex with a woman they have been eyeing for a while, if their partner gave them sincere permission.

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@DI

Actually I think that to say that threesomes and relationships are problematic is unfair. Maybe for the majority it's problematic because most people don't know what on earth they are doing, or they are strictly monogamous. But if a relationship has enough openness and trust and good communication it can work. Different kinks for different people, right?
What about those swingers? They seem to be enjoying themselves a lot. In fact I've heard about many relationships where it seems to work.
I think me and Chris had a sort of kind of threesome once, but I dunno if it counts. It was a bit weird. But we never felt bad about it. I enjoyed it.

So to say that there's one truth and one truth only regarding relationships(Im not saying you said this) is wrong. But some people are strictly monogamous, while others feel good and able to play with more partners. And there's absolutely nothing wrong with either scenario as long as people enjoy themselves and aren't having problems out of it.

But maybe Im not one to talk considering im quite unconventional x_x


Edit: Yet again, I said too much, didn't I? :D

My original comment was meant to state that threesomes and committed relationships, which in my mind are monogamous, don't mix. No matter how hard you try to explain it to me I'll never understand how committed you can be to someone if you're cool with them having sex with another person. A casual relationship? Fine, been there, done that. But to say you love a person, and pat them on the back as they're on the way out the door to go have sex with another person? Utterly foreign to me.

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This sort of attitude is exactly why so many men have had to fight to assure their partners that they're dedicated to them. Do I find other women attractive or aesthetically pleasing? Sure, human nature. Would I 'jump at the opportunity to have sex with a woman' if Dorian gave me permission? Fuck no. Why? Because it defeats the purpose of being in a committed relationship, and more importantly, being married to her. I guess this is just where my old fashioned morals come into play, but the idea of 'open relationships' just seem fucking stupid and selfish to me. I mean it's basically one person settling for less so that they can go out and chase tail to their hearts content and maybe bag someone who's way out of their league [but would never date them in the first place], but it's okay, because you have your 'open relationship' to go back to, so you're never really alone. Meh. If it works for you guys, awesome, be happy. But I've had friends who have done and are doing the same thing, and they always seem inherently lonely to me, even when they're in a relationship with someone else.



My original comment was meant to state that threesomes and committed relationships, which in my mind are monogamous, don't mix. No matter how hard you try to explain it to me I'll never understand how committed you can be to someone if you're cool with them having sex with another person. A casual relationship? Fine, been there, done that. But to say you love a person, and pat them on the back as they're on the way out the door to go have sex with another person? Utterly foreign to me.

Swingers are a breed of their own. I think boredom is a huge factor there, but that's my own personal opinion.

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If my missus suggested (during a period we're apart) that it's okay to see other people, I would go ape-shit insane with her. I would automatically think that she's been doing the dirty on me and feeling so guilty about it she suggests that I could go and defile someone else. I think for someone to suggest that to you they're already thinking about hooking up with someone else in the first place and just looking for your say so by saying that you're allowed to sleep with other people as well.

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I think there's something to be said for suddenly turning round to your partner and saying 'How about threesomes then?'

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How else do you do it then?

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Well I can tell you in my case, this wasn't true, and that wasn't the reason I suggested it to Chris. :)

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Threesomes + long term relationship = problematic. The fact that you want to have sex with another girl is already a sign that you're not totally committed to your partner, and she'll take note of that. Anyway, threesomes and relationships are just bad. Eventually feelings wind up getting involved, and someone gets hurt. Then there are trust and jealousy issues, as well as major intimacy boundaries that are being broken. If it was something she was into, or something you really wanted, it seems like one of you should have mentioned it early on, not a year and a half after the fact.

Also, put yourself in her shoes. If she asked you to have a threesome with another man, would you be okay with it? I'm sure you're going to spout off about how it would be 'gay', or how it's different because there would be another penis involved, but the principles are exactly the same.

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I think there's something to be said for suddenly turning round to your partner and saying 'How about threesomes then?'

It's subverting the premises a commited relationship is built on. If you want an open relationship then anything less than letting your partner know about it before or as soon as you get into a relationship is like changing the rules of a game halfway through.

AKA: Cheating.

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Well I'm currently in an open relationship and the subject of the openess of said relationship was brought up by my boyfriend and I whilst we were both coming together.

There's very little you can do to not make a request for a threesome sound like 'I'm growing disinterested in you' and girls take that very very badly.

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But just because you don't understand something doesn't make it true. It's true that for you, such a dynamic would never work, and people should respect that. But in return you should also be open to the fact that other people have a completely different mindset.
So that means that for YOU threesomes wouldn't work. But for others it adds great pleasure and excitement to their life. Maybe it is boredom, but different people have different likes and dislike. And some people like experimenting sexually. Meaning, if they dont get the sexual exploration they so desire, they might actually get bored.
Nothing wrong with monogamous, or poly people in my opinion. none at all.

And, telling you this is probably going to lower your opinion of me and my relationship. But I was the one who initially encouraged Chris to experiment with other people if he desired. Personally I find it quite hot, and despite everything, I know we have a deep bond that is impenetrable. I know this from the bottom of my heart.

So there you have an example of how people can be totally different, and still function.

I just ask that you be open minded and realize that people get happiness and pleasure from different things. And what might not work for one person, might be gold for the other.