Really great story Kes, sorry I haven't got to read all of it yet but Im still captivated and will finish the rest soon.:fuzwink:
Great job Kes, keep it up!!!:fuzsmile: |
*yawn* are you gonna write more Kes? Sorry if I sound rude, it's just that you haven't wrote anything in forever! Hmm... speaking of stories that haven't been writen in forever.......*runs over and styarts typing new chap for her own fan fic*
Oddling l:c l |
I'm getting there I'm getting there......as soon as I remember what I was writing about........*reads topic* Quest for the Can opener? What the? Musta been drunk then....which is Odd cause I don't drink....
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Argh! This whole time I pass this fan fic not even knowing Kes wrote it! *Slaps self on head* I never really look these days. Well after reading this over and over....I came to one conclusion.....lol!:lol: This is just hella funny!!! Kes my girl, amazing I like this fan fic alot. Hmmmm.....yeah, anyway this is good.....so write more!:lol: Thats when you have the time eh? Good job Kes:D
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This is the 3rd fanfic i ever read and i have cum to the conclusion that it is REALLY REALLY FUNNY!!! *Falls off chair and rolls on floor laughing like idiot on e-numbers*
:fuzgrin: _____________________________________ A pet rock is for life, not just for Christmas I lost my head in a history lesson and when i found it it was empty! |
Chapter 10: Double oh-Abe!!
That's right, I finally got my act together and wrote some more, now I can go back to sleep..... Edit: This part dedicated to Oddling and Kai!!
------- Munch hopped from shadow to shadow, as fast as a Gabbit can, which isn't actually that fast. Finally he could just see the huge golden Glukkon heads of the McGlukies main branch. *At last! You had better be there Abe, or I'm gonna......do something bad....I don't know what it is, but man it's gonna hurt!* Munch thought. There were several Slig guards around the entrance, but Munch got rid of them easily enough by throwing fistfuls of Moolah in the air and hopping through while they were trying to catch them. When he was inside, he realized that he had no idea where Abe would be held. With a sigh, he turned and hopped in the direction of a nearby Slig guard. Munch grabbed out a double handful of Moolah and shoved them into the hands of the Slig. "Where's Abe being held?" He asked while the Slig was staring at the Moolah. "Over there. Second corridor on the right, five doors down..." The Slig said, still mesmerized by the glinting Moolah. Munch quickly hopped off in that direction, before the Slig thought to check who he was. The second corridor on the right, five doors turned out to be a pretty basic cell to be holding Abe in, there weren't even any guards. Munch got rid of the lock quickly enough by zapping it, pushed open the door and hopped into the semi-darkness inside. There, chained against the wall was......Abe? "Wait a minute....Something's not quite right about this..." Munch said. ------------------------------------- Abe looked nervously at Queenie. "What do ya want me to do?" He asked the strange Slig. To Abe's surprise, Queenie blushed suddenly. "I.....uhhh.....vell....." Queenie fidgeted with her gun, making Abe very nervous. "iorderedsomethingfromvykkerslabsandivantyoutogetit!" She said in a rush. Abe frowned... "uhhh....What did you say?" Queenie took a deep breath, then repeated herself. "I ordered something from Vykker's Labs, and I vant you to get it for me." She said, blushing furiously. Abe's eyes widened. "You vant...I mean want....me to get something from Vykker's Labs?! Are you crazy?" Queenie flashed a Sliggy smile. "No, but if you don't, I'll call the guards and tell them vho you are..." Abe sighed, it seemed like he had no other choice. "What is it you need anyway?" If anything, Queenie turned even redder, Abe didn't think it was possible for a Slig to blush, but she was anyway. "Vell...It's something to...uhhh...improve my performance....they called it a....Bra? I think thats right." Abe turned red to, he didn't know what she meant, but had a fair idea after she explained with hand-gestures.... *How am I gonna be able to get that, with out dying from laughter?* He thought. *If the Vykkers don't kill me first..* "I'll do it." He said with a sigh. "Where do I get it from?" Queenie smiled sexily at Abe. "Thank you so much, just ask one of the head Vykkers for Queenie's parcel... Plus you can look for your Moolah vhile you are there. I sav some Interns take it." Abe rolled his eyes, this whole can opener thing was turning out to be more complicated then he thought. ------------------------------------------ Munch stared at the strange Mudokon chained against the wall. "Who are you and what have you done with Abe?" He said. The Mud looked up at him, and somehow managed to be imploring and terrified at the same time. "I was put here by the Glukkons. They decided to make me look like Abe, then execute me so that everyone would think that Abe was dead." The Mud said listlessly. Munch was surprised, a plan like that might actually have worked. The Mudokon slaves would have thought Abe was dead, and gone back to being depressed, instead of hoping for freedom. Munch studied the Mud, the blue paint was rubbing off in places, and the tattoos looked more like scribbles, but the effect from afar was good enough. "They didn't do a very good job." He muttered, before hopping over to the chains. "Come-on, lets get you out of here." Munch said, his head port sparking. ---------------------------------- "Are you sure this is the right way? What if the Sligs catch us? What are you exactly? Why do you have that thing on your head?" "Shut up." "Don't you like me? Are you and Abe really good buds? How come you only got one leg? Do you have anything to eat? What do you eat?" "Will you please shut up?" "Do you think the Glukkons know we're gone? Are we gonna rescue the other Muds? Is Abe here too? How do you get this blue paint off? What does Abe really look like? Why is your head so big? Can I get a glass of water? Why's it so hot in here? Do you like coconuts?" "Look," Munch said after a while. "If you don't SHUT UP I am going to drag you back to that cell and chain you back up again!! No wonder the Glukkons chose you to execute." The Mud blinked at Munch, then tears welled up in his eyes. "You hate me!! It's not fair! Everyone hates me!! The only person who likes me is my brother and I haven't seen him in ages!! I wanna go home!!" The Mud yelled. "Shut up!" Munch hissed. "Do you want us to get caught? Look....uhhh...what's your name?" "You don't even know my name!!" The Mud howled. "That is why I'm asking....." Munch said. The Mud stopped and looked at him. "Oh. My name is Ben." "I'm Munch. Now lets get out of here ok? Maybe Abe can find your brother later." *It's not like he's doing anything else...* Munch thought. ---------------------------------- *I hate Vykkers* Abe thought as he forced a smile that could just be seen under his disguise. Queenie had thought it best if the Vykkers thought one of her close friends came to get the 'bra' for her, so she had given Abe a new disguise..... The Vykker paused to stare Abe up and down again, taking in the Mudokon sized bright pink stiletto heels, the lacy pink dress, with its huge pink bows and ribbons and Odd knew what else attached to it, and to top it off, a large pink bonnet, with more bows, that hid Abe's face. Abe rolled his eyes when he saw the Vykker staring. "Tee hee hee! I just hope Queenie likes it, you know what she's like." He said, trying to pitch his voice higher. The Vykker grinned suddenly, and stretched out one of his arms to brush Abe's arm, on which he was wearing some pick gloves to hide the tattoos. "I'm sure she will my dear. I could even slip you one, if you're interested. We'll need to have a fitting though...." The Vykker said, almost visibly drooling. "uhhh...No thanks! Tee hee *gulp* hee..." Abe stammered, then ran for it. *You are one dead Gabbit, Munch!! Now I just gotta find those Interns, before they find Munch....* --------------------------------- Ok everyone! All together now! point and laugh at Abe!! *points and laughs* :lol: :lol: :lol: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! |
Aw, thats sweet Kes! *hugs Kes until she blows up* Uh oh.......*gets broom and brushes remains of Kes under rug * ladeedadeeda..............
Oddling l:c l |
ow.....medic....
*voice from under the carpet* Hmmmm......I know the drought down here is pretty bad...but I didn't figure it would effect replies too!!! *grabs a cup and waves out of the carpet edge* Replies? Replies for the poor? |
*SFO walks over waving a cup*
Dedications? Dedications for the poor? But good story Kes. You have a good sense of humor. |
Poor Abe! LOL.
Great work, Kesiah. :fuzgrin: |
Will Abe ever find Munch?
Will they ever find that can opener? Will this story ever come to an end (I hope not) And I have a remedy for being hugged so hard that you blow up: Wheres that PVA glue?! :fuzgrin: _____________________________________ A pet rock is for life, not just for Christmas I lost my head in a history lesson and when i found it it was empty! |
*Kai walks into fan corner and reads the newest addition to "Quest for the....Can opener?"*
....heh:fuzsmile: .....hehe:fuzgrin: .....lol:D.....lol!:lol:...LMAO!:| ...hmm. Kes, it's good to sit down and actually, for once in my life, read a story:rolleyes: And this one in particular, is a good fan fic. The comedy is there:smokin: And just everything...everything that makes a Oddworld fan fic odd...is here;) So on behalf of you're comedic genious, I would like to say this story is an awsome one:) |
Sorry K but i dont know about everyone else but i cant reply if you dont write. The story has been great so far, funny, scary, sick, sad, exiting, dramatic, blah blah
Ok, lets cut to the chase, *Splat chases author (i refuse to use your name un til this story gets longer) around the room untill (s)he gets really tired and collapses in a heap on the floor, then he sits on him/her shouting "WRITE MORE, WRITE MORE, WRITE MORE..." |
I oughtta check out fanfics more often! :D Kes, this is absolutely amazing! I love it. You are a very good writer. I feel bad when I come and read a story like this, and find out it has been here all this time and I have not done my part to support the author! My appologies Kesiah. Please accept my make-up praises for your previous posts.
Good! Great! Wow! Awesome! More! C'mon! What's gonna happen?! Hahaha! Noo! Eeek! What? Wow! Cool! GOOD JOB!!! :D :D :D :D :D |
Chapter 11: The story goes ever on...
Well, the public has spoken, or in some cases chased me round and round and then sat on me....
But the latest serving of fine Kesiah Humor has been created, using the freshest punch lines, the sweetest irony. Kesiah Humor '02 has a rich, fruity taste, gently caressing the senses, and a delightful tangy after taste. We let our Humor spend more time ripening, so it is grown to perfection. Kesiah Humor: Have another glass. Dedication: Primarily, this dedication goes to Zeus, Oddling's dog, who was taken in unfortunate circumstances. May he guard Oddling forever. Thanks also go to SFO, who's Shrink stories inspired part of this chapter, tybie_odd, who gave me some really helpful feedback, and inspired the entire Glukkon section. And Khanzumer, who gets a thankyou, mainly because I mention Zero from his fic, "Marching Mudokons" in this chapter, and I don't want anyone to hit me with anything.... Also thanks to everyone who writes comments to this fic, as I would probably have given up on it long since if they did not. ----------------------------------------- *I must of been here for hours.....* Abe thought, scratching at the frills of the dress. He felt as though he'd been walking for most of the day, and he must have covered most of the Labs by now. *Who'd have thought there'd be so many Fuzzles in one lab?* Abe looked back and considered the large group of Fuzzles behind him. He understood what they were saying about one time in six, but at least they had stopped biting him for now. The Fuzzles watched Abe with the air of waiting to see what kind of trick he would do next. "Funny kind of dress it's wearing." One commented, confident that Abe would have difficulty understanding. "What's it taste like?" Another asked. The first Fuzzle considered this. "Uhh...what's the best thing you've ever tasted? Now, he tastes three times as good!" It said happily. The Fuzzles had been talking about Abe's flavor for a while, and still enjoyed the memory of it. Some of them were drooling, causing Abe to worry a little. *Damn it Munch! I need you to stop these things from deciding to eat me some more! Where are you?!* With a sigh, Abe turned into the next Lab, maybe this time he could stop the Fuzzles long enough to get some answers from the Interns. --------------------------- ".....What's it like to be so short? How come you can zap stuff? Why have you gotta drink that stuff first? Do you think this paint will ever come off? What's Abe really look like? Are you guys friends? What kind of tea does Abe like best?" Munch was actually amazed. Ben seemed to be able to continually ask questions, without pause for food, water, air, or anything else. The most surprising thing was that the Sligs would hear them coming, turn tail and run! But then, Munch reasoned, news like Ben's mouth would get around. "I'm surprised you never got sent to the Shrink..." Munch muttered. Ben blinked. "I got sent to the Shrink once! He started trying to talk to me, so I wanted to ask him some questions, then he got upset and tried to get out of the room. Why do you think that is?" *Figures. He's gotta be the only Mud that could talk a Shrink into submission.* Munch thought. "Are we gonna rescue the other Muds here? How are you gonna do that? Will you use your head zappy thingy again? Who gave it to you? Do you like Scrab Burgers? I think they're bad, 'cause the Glukkons don't eat them. Are you gonna fry the Glukkons like Abe does? You think Abe will like me?" Ben continued. "Don't you ever shut up?" Munch growled. "My brother always liked me to ask questions, do you know my brother? Do you think I'll get to see him again? I wonder if he likes me still, does he like you? Why do you think Slogs are so mean? Do you think they're hungry all the time? Do you think Scrabs are hungry a lot too? Do you know Zero? He used to work in Rupture Farms, I heard that he got away with Abe. Do you think Abe likes rescuing Muds?" "After talking to you, I wouldn't bet on it! SHUT UP!!!" Munch screamed. He could feel a head ache coming on, and with a head like his, that was pretty bad. To his surprise, Ben stopped suddenly, tears welling up in his eyes. *Oh Odd, here we go again...* Munch thought. "You hate me!! Everyone hates me! Even the other Muds hate me!" Ben cried, and sat down to begin bawling his eyes out. Munch rolled his eyes. "I don't hate you," He muttered. " I said I don't hate you! I just think maybe you should ask less questions." Ben stopped, and looked up at Munch. "Why didn't you say so?" He said, sounding surprised. "I can be quiet, and we can rescue the other Muds!! Is that ok?" It was Munch's turn to be surprised. *It was that easy? Why didn't I ask sooner?* "No one ever tried to ask me to be quiet! You're my best friend Munch!! It's so nice to have someone that doesn't yell at me all the time, and who doesn't get mad when I ask questions! Did you know that the Muds are through this door? I bet they'll be happy to see you! Gee, why do you look so mad Munch? Is something wrong? I said I'd be quiet! Aren't I doing a good job?!" *I knew it was too good to be true...* Munch thought, then opened the door to where the Muds were kept. --------------------------------- "Are you sure this will work?" Dropik said nervously. Krenak looked down at the smaller Glukkon with contempt, "Of course it will! The Muds will think that we have the real Abe, and when we publicly execute him, then they will think that he's dead, so this stupid 'rebellion' will no longer be a problem." It was a brilliant plan, he had to admit, one of his best. Pure Genius, like him. Pure. Genius. "So, like, what's gonna happen if the real Abe turns up?" The third member of the group said. The other two Glukkons looked around nervously, checking the large room for anything that could be a spying device. They didn't want to show it, but the other Glukkon scared them. To begin with, it could have been the clothes. Perfectly good cut in the suit, no problem there; nice, wide shoulder pads, showing his reasonably high status, but then.....The suit was black. Not respectable black. Not professional black. This was... Krenak didn't think you could have shades of black, but this was black black. There were silver chains in interesting places, often linked together, and they chinked when the owner moved. Then the shoes...five inches high, black again, except with flames around them. But the suit was actually less scary then the owner. He was, hopefully, once a normal Glukkon, though he deigned it. Rumor had his name being Rikno, now he called himself Antichrist666, or something like it. It changed more often then anyone could remember. Most Gluks just referred to him as "That one". Some Gluks even believed that looking at his face caused blindness. Krenak didn't think that could possibly be true, but then, it was a scary sight. He had piercings. Not the little things some of the younger Gluks were doing nowadays, but bars, threaded through his ears. Or chains, looping in and out of the skin and with things hanging off them. The dark glasses he wore hide his eyes all the time, it was said it was because his gaze could kill, Krenak thought it was because he liked the looks people gave him. Some said he had tattoos, like a Mudokon, except in strange places.... Altogether, he was truly frightening. Krenak cleared his throat, hoping his slight touch of fear did not show as badly as it did in Dropik. If it wasn't for That One's gift, he would have been dead of 'accidental' reasons long since. But his gift....ask him any question involving numbers, no matter how difficult, how distracted he was at the time, and he would give you the answer. Within seconds. Krenak needed someone like that. Especially now, with that Abe character around. "If Abe dares to show his face in this factory, then we will have him captured, and quietly disposed of." Krenak said around his fat cigar. He had tried thin cigars, but the fat ones were much better. "But I thought you said we already had Abe!!" Dropik whined. Krenak signed. Odd knew how Dropik had survived this long. He was as thick as a retarded Meep. Krenak decided to put disposing of him on his 'To do' list. "Dropik, we've gone over this already. We got the worst employee the factory has ever seen, and we've set him up to look like Abe. Then we kill him and say it's Abe. Got it?" Krenak said. *Dropik really does need to be disposed of. I'm glad I thought of it.* That One deftly flicked some ash from his small, sickly sweet smelling cigarette. "So, what's this guy like? The one you got set up to take the fall. He really that bad?" He croaked hoarsely. Krenak smiled. "His file says he is called Ben. The one involved with the incident with the Shrink." Krenak allowed himself a moment of pleasure when he thought he saw That One's eyes widen slightly behind the glasses. "Wasn't that when the Shrink broke down? It was, like, laughing maniacally to itself, and nearly broke itself to bits trying to get out of the room from the Mud. We had to, like, melt the thing down. It kept trying to get away, and it was, like, scared of Muds. Crying all the time. Trippy stuff." "You are absolutely right, Antichrist666." Krenak said, favoring him with a smile. "It's DaRk_EvIl_BeTrAyEr." The other replied, gloomily. No one ever seemed to listen to what he called himself. "Exactly." Krenak said, giving him another smile. He thought he was quite good at them, he been practicing in front of a mirror and the book had some very good diagrams. With a laugh, Krenak got back to laying out what plans he had that he thought the others should know. ----------------------------- To purchase one bottle of genuine Kesiah Humor, please reply to this topic. We are not fussy with replies, we accept Worship, Praise, Neutral, Bad and Flame. Offer for a limited time only. Offer subject to avalibility. All rights reserved. Want to hear more about your favourite character? Want to hear a different point of view? Want to just Worship and bask in my glory?? Then PM me with you suggestions!!! I mean, do I look scary? Really? *big innocent smile* ........ Why did everyone run away? |
*runs from Kes in horrid fear* AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!! *grabs bottle of this new Kesiah humor stuff, and keeps running* Hey, this stuff is pretty good! *looks on label and sees that its just made out of liquid bull poop* Eeeeewwww!!!!!!!1 Lol, well all I can say is great job Kes! And thanks for the dedication, I'm sure Zeus loved it.
Oddling l:c l |
Hey! I'll have you know that that is a bottle of the finest, purest, liquid Humor you will ever taste! Plus it comes in alcaholic and non-alcaholic versions!!
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Once again Kes, an amazing job. I wont say much as I am short on time here, but I did find the time to read it!:p Good job.
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Antichrist666.... Heh:D
This fic is actually funny... why did it take so long?! Oh, and I'll take a glass of alcoholic+++ Kesiah Humor. |
*gives her a bottle, marked "Warning: Do not inhale, do not operate heavy machinery after drinking, in fact, try not to do anything after drinking." And a list of rehab numbers.*
I takes me a while, cause I'm a lazy bum...I mean, cause I need time to develop my humor to it's full potential...or something like that..... |
Somewhere in the jungles of Mudos...
-- a brown-robed monk with a hood enters the ancient temple of Kesiah, goddess of devine fanfics. Slowly she [can monks be girls?] approaches the alter, and humbly lays a reply on it. Then she prays....--
"Oh Blessed Kesiah, grant your humble reader a bottle of genuine Kesiah Humor, the only humor made of 100% natural liquidized guffaws, with no added colors or preservatives. Thank you. Power-ups to the people, amen." -- the monk rises and leaves, knowing that good faith will be reawarded in time....with the best-selling genuine Kesiah Humor! Now avaiable in Jumbo size! -- |
I like it. Good story, really funny stuff. Can't wait for more!
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Hazzar! A new chapter! Splat pics Kes up. Runs out of room and reurns with large, floppy crown. I present you with the crown of comedy! You are Master of madness, ruler of ridicule, lord of laughter. I also present you with two great gifts, My lucky toothbrush, and the original desighns for an Abe game i created after Abes Exoddus came out. Splat hands Kes a red toothbrush and a very delapidated Abes Exoddus game box full of sheets of A3 paper. Then he bows down in worship at Keses feet...
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Sweet! Crown!!! :cool:
umm...but could I change that to, "Mistress of Madness and lady of laughter"? ;) :p *hands out more bottles of Kesiah Humor.* And I even have my own temple?! cool...I wonder if Kai's jealous... :devil: BTW, if you wanna give me an idea of characters you like, or things you would like to see, then PM me, and I can try to fit them in for you :fuzwink: |
Sorry,
dont take it personaly, and look after that toothbrush:flames: :lol:, is that humour stuff free? i could use it in my story, hey can i hav 300,000,000 bottles, ill make millions sellin it in the street:dodgy: |
I wish I could get these kind of responses to my fan fics, like I used to. Well It seems people like to choose one story that they can follow and forget the rest. a
Anyways before I take any more away from Kes's story, just like to say its still doing great. -Al the Vykker FC Mod And P.S. please no one make up some cheesy excuse why you dont reply;). Just come on and read some other fan fics.:) |
This is the truth Al, the reason i dont read your fics is caus most of em are seaquals to your past fics which are reALLY LONG. its kind of offputting. Oh, and Al, you only seem to reply to experienced members stories so could you pleaseread some stories by newer members, it would be a real confidence boost and i bet a veteran could offer really useful advise.
Oh, and lady of laughter, is that toothbrush safe?:flames: |
Christmas special!!
Hey peoples!!
Cause It's close to that wonderful time of year, no, not my birthday, but you can give me presents anyway! :D But Chirstmas time!! Well, for me that means some of our reletives come around, so I won't be able to get a new chapter out to you until after I get all my presents.... Never fear! Do not sink into the depths of oblivion for lack of Humor! Instead, I bring you this humble offering, even though it's got absolutly nothing to do with the plot. Note: XXXXL stands for extra, extra, extra, extra large. -------------- Munch looked around the supermarket. *Why in Odd's name did I agree to this?* He wondered, ushering the next kid into the grotto, while trying desperatly to avoid tripping over the point on his huge, XXXXL elf shoe. *Still, at least I'm not Abe...* The kid ran inside stood staring at Abe. Abe was wearing a Santa suit...white beard, red coat, pillow shoved down the front and everything...with his loin cloth still on, not to mention his bare feet sticking out. The Glukkon kid freaked out and ran away before Abe could give a half-hearted 'Ho ho ho' and hand him a sticky candy cane. Munch watched him go. "That's the third one that's done that so far.... I'm not sure if this is working out right." He said. Abe shrugged. "It could be your Elf suit." Munch glared at him. "Oh yeah, Santa?" Abe sighed. "Why did we do this again?" "Because Kes said she'd do something horrible to us in the next chapter if we didn't." Munch said. "Worse than the dress?" Ane said, wide eyed. Munch nodded. The door opened again, and the girl they were talking about stuck her head in. "Come-on guys! we're supposed to be making people merry! Plus there's still thousands of kids who want to meet Santa!" Kesiah said. "Do we have to?" Abe muttered. "Yes, you do. Now smile, and remember to be jolly this time!" Kes said, opening the door again to admit the next person. It seemed like a fast moving blur rushed through the doorway and launched itself into Abe's lap, before slowing down into Ben. "Wow!! You never said you were Santa, Abe! Can I see the reindeer? Is Munch really an elf? How come you can fight all the Glukkons and still get presents around the world at the same time? Is that beard real? Can I have a candy cane too? What's the North Pole like?" Abe looked strickened at Kesiah. "You did this on purpose!!" Kesiah grinned, raising a camera. "Aww, give us a big smile Abe! And you stand with them Munch. Now all together, CHEESE!" CLICK! ------------------ Merry Christmas everyone!! *waves toothbrush around* |
I know I sometimes dont get a chance to read the other stories. But Failure to Comply and Campaign Tour are two orginal stories.
Failure to Comply, is a prequel to the Fallen Temple(my first Fan Fic) so Either one of my current ones you can read before you read the Fallen temple. And your suggestion is well noted thanks for bringing it to my attention. I also would like to apoligize to Kes for having to read through my babbling on in her story topic so dont mind me. Note please PM me with any questions or concerns you may have I am off from highschool for two and a half weeks. -Al the Vykker FC Mod |
Kes, nice mini story and when do i get my shipment of humor? Can you deliver it to my house, 12, midnight, January 27th, remember, 300,000,001 bottles and you can have 50% of the profits. And Al, I'll try and read your fics.
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*Mistoffelees walks in. For those who don't know him, he is a big black cat-person with a white face and a white 'bib', he also has a white tail tip, and white 'socks' on his back legs and one white 'sock' on his left arm.*
Misto: *cough* I'm here to inform the readers tha Kesiah's next chapter of 'Quest for the Can Opener' has been delayed, because she's sulking. *gets a ball thrown at him.* Ow! *checks cue cards* Sorry. She is having "creative difficulties", whatever that means.... *mutters* Who writes this garbage... Also, Splat, we will deliver the bottles, and we will also include some spiffy little bottle openers and cups. *throws cue cards over shoulder* I'm out of here! *dissapears* |
OMG!! Super!
"A modern Endeavour!" ~Canned Gabbiar (or whoever said it before)
Boy your fan fic kicks the crap out of mine! |
Aw.....poor distraught wittle Kesy...........*barks at Misto and chases him up tree* Why are you sad? Or was it just Misto screwing around with the que cards? *growls at Misto as he hisses* *hands Kesy a bottle of Kesiah humor* Now don't worry, you'll have a good chapter up and running soon, so in the meen time, LET HER ALONE YAH FREAKS!!! There, did Oddling make it all better? Aw. *hugs Kesy and reads her bedtime story*
Oddling l:c l |
I love your story Kes *crumples up my fanfic and throws it to Misto to play with* I didn't know you wrote this, I just noticed it! I love this, its so funny! I'm gonna start a Kesiah fan club! *mumbles under breath 'yea right I'm too lazy'* COUGH COUGH!! yea, anyways, keep it up!
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To cheer you up Kes, i will give you a small taster of my fic, Splat!(remember folks, you saw it here first!)
I watched as 2 sligs got out of the lorry’s cabin. One went and leaned against the front of the lorry and the other leant on the side, just below where I was leaning over to watch. I suddenly had an idea. I took my backpack off and began to dig through it till I found the food product I wanted. FIRE FLUMPS Goodness gracious, burp balls of fire! I pulled one of the red marshmallows out of the packet and looked over the side of the lorry. The slig below me had an unlighted cigarette in its mouth and was now digging through its pants for something. I spoke in a low voice: “Wan a light?” To avoid confusion I’ll call them slig A and slig B. A: “Yeah, that’d be great.” B: “What’d be great?” A: “You offered me a light.” B: “No I didn’t.” A: “Yes you did.” B: “No I didn’t.” A: “Yes you did.” B: “Did not.” A: “Did too.” B: “Did not.” A: “Did too.” B: “Did not.” A: “Did too.” B: ”Did not” I intervened in, my low commanding voice. “You didn’t!” B: “Thank you.” A: “What?” B: “You agreed and said I didn’t A: “No I didn’t.” B: “Yes you did.” I swallowed the fire flump. A: “No I didn’t.” B: “Yes you did.” “I DID!” I screamed, angrily. “AND I OFFERED YOU THE LIGHT. TAKE IT!” I burped and a bright red fireball flew out of my mouth and over the edge of the lorry. Judging by the scream I’d managed to hit slig A and he’d burst into flames! A side affect of fire flumps is that you can walk through fire without getting burned or over-heated. I slid down off the lorry behind the fire. I then walked into the fire, called up shred power and walked out the other side where slig B could see me. “YOU HAVE ANGERED ME!” I roared. “AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH, IT’S THE DEVIL, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” The slig was now running around in circles so I stepped a little way into the fire - enough so I could see him but he couldn’t see me. The slig stopped and stood about a metre in front of the fire, whimpering like an injured sloggie. I backed away into the fire, paused, then quickly charged forward, leapt out of the fire, then just before I landed, set off shred attack. Pieces of slig went flying everywhere. I stopped shred attack and looked around. “And that,” I flicked a piece of slig off one of my scrab feet, “is that.” I hope it cheered you up. Cause if it dont i give up! Throws Misto a ball of wool and exits stage right. |
Kewl....
Except for the fact the for some reason the writing wasweird on my browser, I have to move the horizontal bar thingy back and forth and back and forth and back and forth and back and forth....
*gets dizzy* It was pretty kewl, I'll have to drop by and read your fic at some point in time... *makes a note in diary* Much better. Will hopefully get next chapter finished tonight, post it tomorrow. *watches Mistoffelees play with the paper and wool* To Oddling: Come-on, deals a deal, I don't pick on your dogs and stuff, and you leave Misto alone.....Also, read the next chapter carefully....you will hopefully find one part familiar. ;) *begins next chapter, throwing scrunched up paper from bad ideas to Misto* |
The same left write thing happened on my PC when i put that there. But why? is there something wrong with me *starts dancing around the room like an agitated monkey*
Can't wait for the next chapter! Im on the edge of my seat! And may i introduce my pet, CHARLIE! The pet rock that came flying through my window last Friday! :fuzsmile: <-Charlie with styicker eyes and pencil mouth |
Chapter 12: Of lacy underware and other such things...
*Drags Misto out from where he was hiding*
Kes: Come-on! You promised you would help me with this! Misto: No, I promised I would help you on the CATS forum! Kes: Same thing! Misto: I'm not going to and you can't make me!! Kes: Fine! Next time I'm gonna do a CATS/Monty Python crossover! See how you like that! Misto: You wouldn't....I take it back...you would. Ok, ok, I'll help... Kes: Wooot! *hugs Misto* You guys read on....and please take the complimentary bottles of humor while your here! ---------------------- *Stupid Fuzzles.* Abe thought, glaring back at the critters behind him. *Odd knows why Munch likes them.* Abe still hadn't been able to find Munch in this stupid place, but the amount of Fuzzles were building up steadily, as well as the amount of Intern bodies. *So much for stopping the Fuzzles. Munch had so better not be dead! Or I'll kill him!* Rounding a corner, Abe found himself face to face with the Vykker he had met earlier. *If he sees the Fuzzles, I'm dead!* Abe thought, trying not to panic. "Hiya, big guy." Abe squeaked in his best 'I'm-pretending-to-be-a-girl' voice, and fluttered his eyelashes for good measure. The Vykker's reaction was instantaneous. "Hello, little...... lady, what are you looking for on this fine day?" Abe swallowed, he needed to keep the Vykker distracted, while the Fuzzles made a break for a hiding place. "Why, I'd thought I'd take you up on that 'fitting', handsome." Abe said, desperately trying to remember how Queenie had acted around him. You had to turn your body like this, put your arms here, then smile and hope you didn't fall over. The Vykker grinned, took Abe's arm and lead him towards a nearby doorway. "Don't worry, my dear. I know exactly what I'm doing..." ----------------------------- "Munch?" "What is it now, Ben?" Munch said irritably. "Have you noticed how quiet I'm being? Did you think maybe I'd disappeared I was so quiet? I think that the Sligs are scared of us, they keep running away! How come your bashing your head against the wall? Doesn't it hurt?" *Not as much as listening to you does...* Munch thought, around beatings. "It *thud* helps *thud* me *thud* to *thud* stop *thud* from *thud* doing *thud* bad *thud* things!" He said, then stopped hitting the wall. "What kind of bad things? Is it like when you zapped that guard? What about when you got those Slogs? I don't think those are bad, Munch. If you didn't do it, then the Slogs would have killed us! So how come you think you're gonna do something bad? I know! Are you gonna try and steal some cookies?" Munch looked back hopefully at the other Mudokons, but they seemed to be ignoring both Ben and himself, and quiet happy that Ben was leaving them alone. The sound of running feet interrupted Munch's thoughts of horrible things happening to Ben, and quickly revealed a running Slig, carrying something. "Here we go again..." Munch muttered, preparing to zap the Slig. The Slig raced up to the group, before screeching to a halt in front of Munch, and presenting him with......a coconut? "Goo goo gajoob!" The Slig yelled in Munch's face, threw a few sticks at him, grabbed the coconut, and ran off. Munch rubbed his head from where the sticks had connected. "That was weird. Lets keep going, and hope that that Slig doesn't come back." He said to the Mudokons, leading the way to another corridor. --------------------------- *I wonder if you can die of embarresment.* Abe thought, scratching his butt for the fourth time in two minutes. The 'fitting' had involved one of those bra things, except made of lacy stuff, that itched like hell, which was filled with something that made Abe's chest look like someone had stuck a couple of melons there, though, and Abe shuddered at this, the Vykker had seemed pleased. But the worse one, the thing that was causing Abe to scratch a lot was some thing the Vykker had given him, Abe had insisted that he put it on by himself, called a......what was it? A Gee-string? That sounded about right. The continuous laughter of the Fuzzles wasn't helping either. Abe paused to scratch his butt again. At least he'd learned one thing, Munch wasn't on board the Labs. He'd let slip about hearing that there was a Gabbit on board, and the Vykker had been so preoccupied with the 'bra' that he'd told Abe that they didn't have any Gabbits anywhere. *I'm taking these stupid Fuzzles and getting out of here, stuff Munch and his stupid can opener!* Abe thought angrily. He would have taken off the dress and other things by now, except that he had the feeling that he would need to be cut out of them. *I really hope you're alive Munch, because I want to kill you when I see you!* ------------------------- "Munch?" "What!!" "There's a scary Glukkon ahead. Do you think he's after us? What if he's the devil!!" Ben said, his fear actually causing him to say less than normal. Munch peeked around the corner and had to admit that the Glukkon ahead of them could easily be the devil, with the dark suit and shoes with red flames and bits of, was that metal?, through his anatomy. But before Munch could suggest that they find a safer route, the Glukkon turned and saw him. "Dude...." The Glukkon muttered, and Munch noticed a sweet smelling cigarette in the Glukkon's mouth, the smell alone made Munch's head spin. "A Gabbit...." The Glukkon said. "Hello mister Gabbit, my name is....is....." Munch blinked as the Glukkon thought for a moment. "Errrr.....I've forgotten. Got too many names you know. The others call me 'That One' behind my back." That One muttered, then coughed hoarsely. "Uhhh...Don't worry about me..." Munch said, wondering if he should attack or run away. This Glukkon was too freaky to be normal, maybe it was sick or something, but it scared the @&#$ out of him! "Don't worry Gabbit, you're just a figment of my imagination....cause of this stuff." That One waggled the cigarette in his mouth. "No body understands...they think I'm weird on purpose...but it's these numbers in my head...they don't leave me alone! Numbers, numbers everywhere, but not a drop to drink..." Munch stared some more, obviously the Glukkon was a raving lunatic. "Do. You. Know. Where. Abe. Is?" Munch said, slowly and clearly, so that the lunatic would understand. "He's not here..." That One said, and had another coughing fit. "He was never here....Just some other Mud dressed up to look like him... Stupid plan if you ask me..." Munch scowled and hopped off, leaving the Glukkon to explain his plans for world domination to the empty room. *If Abe's not here, then I'm not looking anymore! I'm taking this lot to the nearest bird portal and leaving! The villagers can deal with them, and Ben!!* Munch thought angrily, and headed in the direction that would hopefully lead to a bird portal. ----------------------- Misto: Can you let go now....I can't breath.... Kes: awwwww...... Ben: What are you two doing? What is he? How come you don't look like me? What are you two? Why do you have those on your chest? Kes: .........Why did I invent him? Misto: Don't look at me.... |
Is it possible to die of laughter? Cause if it is, i should be in hospital right now!
Im running out of presents! How about this? *hands Misto a peice of paper.* Now take that to the misstress of madness and don't read it on the way. *Misto runs round corner and unfolds the paper* Hey I hear the sound of unfolding paper! Dont make me get my shotgun! *Misto shrugs and runs off with the paper.* And dont ask me whats on it cause i haven't decided yet! Edit: I got the humour! Its great stuff, *Glugs down a bottle of Kesiah humour then starts rolling about the floor in total histerics!* but Kes why aren't you writin? Ive got Mist for ransom! 1 chapter for 1 magic cat! Hey, whered he go? I hate it when he does his vanishing act! Here, misto misto misto, ive got some flavour enhanced fish for you! And you Kesiahs fans, you ought to be ashamed of yourself, a whole new chapter and im the only one to reply! You call yourselves fans! |
keep up thee good work
wanna know the end (if any) |