It's funny because you weren't. Don't lie, we always sniff them out.

Damn it!

Take the advice given or she'll be dry as an Arabian's sandle.

Remember to rape.

Turn around to her and say, 'My love for you is like the wind, you can feel it but you can't see it.'

So you're suggesting they only have sex in the dark?

I hate sex in the dark.

Sex in the dark: for when there's no paper bags on hand.

I've only gone and developed a crush/become infatuated/started 'like' liking (I don't like any of those terms) on a girl I know again, so now I'm overflowing with soppy feelings. I'm going to send her a rose on St. Valentine's Day, just because I'm awesome like that. I won't tell her it's me, that would ruin the magic, but I'm hoping she works it out.

Ah, good old Valentine. I owe you one mate. Thanks to your martyrdom I get one day where I can be openly romantic without looking like an idiot.

Nah, that's why we got beer bro.

Fuck Valentines Day to hell and back.

Fuck it I say.

I think Valentines day is kinda dumb <.<

Fuck it!

Happy Love Day, everyone!

No it's not, it's a day of morbid love and horrid intention. A day for fucktards and shitheads to scare girls with pages of anonymous wank.

Way to not get pop culture references.

I hate pop, pop is a genre of morbid love and horrid intention. A genre for fucktards and shitheads to swoon girls with pages of utter wank.

I hate Pop too.

Snap and Crackle were always better.

I have a first date two days before Valentines Day. This might be awesome or it might be shite.

It's neither Nate. It's fate.

that was actually an incredible post.

this year i will be doing the same as last year. hanging myself, whilst masturbating and wearing women's lingerie. with a bag over my head. its my annual treat.

I would like to wear women's lingerie on valentines day, just once.

David Carradine posts here?

You do realise you have just collectively crushed my teenage aspirations of romance?

This Valentine's will be the first in four years that I haven't shared with a significant other.

This means I can ride other people and not feel bad.

Valentine's Day is a day which capitalises on the lust that we all naturally feel. It is to me what cancer* is to somebody who's just won the lottery - irritating.

Although these are the words of a senile old cynic. Pay no attention.

*If you're awkward, replace this with "a person who is definitely going to die prematurely". That should convey the message just as, if not more efficiently.

Actually, Id be more than happy to win the lottery if I had cancer. I'd spend it on the best medical treatment available.

If you're seriously asking this lot how to score some cootch, your chances are probably slim and none.

My advice? Go for the fatties and/or low self esteem-y broads. Probably the best bet for someone like you. That or grow a fucking pair and start talking to women in real life and quit asking for fucking advice on a god damned video game forum.

Woo, real advice.

That post would be more effective if DI hadn't given advice last time someone asked for help getting girls here.

I can only be genuine every so often.

Ok, so I'm guessing in the end you did jack shit with her? SO go hit her with a spade and put her in your boot / trunk. Remember, its not rape if you surprise!

I think you have that backwards.

Sorry, should be it's not rape if you shout surprise.

Make sure you don't havbe hairy shoulders like me

No means Yes and Yes means Anal.

The very words I live by.

Oh for the FUCK!

I met this girl some weeks ago at work and we talked much. she was great. really funny and wow she even laughed about my jokes, FOR REAL! than she was gone I've never seen her again. until tonight. I was working again and suddenly this beautiful girl was smiling at me. but I was just looking at her with this dumb expression, no reaction, because I didn't recognize her instantly. wth? I don't know what happened, she looked totally different, she wore makeup and an evening dress.
so her smile turned into a kinda disappointed expression and she wandered off to her friends; she even kept them waiting to say hello.
OMG the moment I remembered her. And I instantly went NOOOOOOOOOOOO



I tried to catch her, but couldn't find her again. well, she's in a music school and that's why she was there tonight, listening to her classmates. so I grabbed one and asked him, if he got her number. he hasn't got her number. so I told him to apologize for me.
but that looks weak, dunno what else to do...

HA! Wow, been there. Yeah learn to smile more often, people nowadays seem to think they have to go through life scowling to avoid lawsuits but the truth is you just look like a douche.

Also women will never like you if you reference the Star Wars prequels.

No-one will like you if you reference the Star Wars prequels. Just go up to her and say you didn't recognize her THEN compliment her on how stunning she looked hence why you couldn't recognize her. She will be flattered and you will be forgiven.

"So you're saying I don't normally look stunning?"