Don't stop writing :eek:
Good chapter, exciting and such. I'd say you wanna be careful about dragging scenes like this on too much as it can get a bit dull, but it's ok so far!

If you don't continue I swear i'll have to freaking kidnap you and force you to write more chapters. >:C
DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YA~

(Sighs and bows head until it hits the ground where it starts to crush anything underneath it just to bow lower.) Why? Why must the great fan fiction always be cancelled? Why must the great writer give up on things to move up? Why must the story be abandoned? Why? WHY!? (Slams the keyboard a couple of times before calming down.) But seriously just becuase something is longer doesn't make it better. I prefer this fan fic over some other long books I've read before. I like the shorter ones. Because they can easily keep the excitment going. Unlike the long ones that have to take breaks. The thing that happens to everyone is they think of a new plot and give up on the old one. Then the same thing happens again, and again, and again. This fan fic on the other hand has this thing that gives it that spark that only certain books have. I can never put my finger on this but please don't give this up! Or else I'll... I'll... I'll... Send you a huge block of PMs reminding you of this fan fic. Besides if you don't continue after that then I'll let Moosh do the kidnappy thing.:fuzvamp:

Although I risk kidnap by Moosh and tonnes of PMs from Oddey, I would still like to say that I'm going to abandon this thing. My honest opinion is that it's a bit rubbish, the only interesting bit being when Shrown meets Skillya. So I give you chapter 10, the last chapter I'll be writing :fuzsad:.

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... Oh yes... Now your going to get it... Really bad... That was such a good chapter and you give up? How could you? Leaving us here. Stranded with nobody to take up the story. You sick little evil monkey. (I'm not trying to offend you I just really want you to continue.)

Those PMs are on their way if I don't see the next chapter. And so is Moosh.

:fuzsad: Don't leave us here! It's easy to be critical of your own writing ut this is really good! I mean I hardly read any fanfics at all here, but this one really grabbed me from the moment I read it. I really want to know what happens. How does he get away from there? Will he meet the other escapees? will he get help from mudokons?

Keep writing chapters or I'll keep sending you annoying links!

YOU'LL PAY DEARLY FOR YOUR INSOLENCE. I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE.

Erm, sorry for bringing back this two month-old thread and all. But I have a surprise for those of you who miss this story.

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I’m reluctantly woken from sleep by a Rat sniffing around. After I crawled out of the air vent I somehow managed to haul myself over to a clearing in a patch of trees with the hope that they would conceal me. Looks like it’s worked so far, because when I open my eyes I find I’m still here. It’s night time and a faint breeze blows through the trees above me.
I shoo the rat away, angry at being disturbed. My arm begins to throb again. When I look at it I can see that it’s swollen. I can’t believe this is happening to me.
A rustle to my right. I look around, my senses alert. There’s a small pond between me and where the sound came from. Trying to be quiet, I pull myself under a low-lying tree, its branches hiding me. There’s another rustle, and I stiffen when I hear voices coming this way. Oh God, I hope I’m not found.
A Slig steps out from the vegetation. He looks around slowly, before walking around the edge of the pond and coming to a halt right in front of me. If he sees me, he’s hiding it. I hear more voices following, and the Slig calls out, “What are you lot doing back there? I said it’s safe. The only ones around are us.”
Hang on. I recognise that voice.
“Blege?” I venture, emerging from my hiding place. “How on Oddworld did you escape?” Blege almost jumps a metre off the ground when he sees me crawling out from under the tree. He quickly reaches for his gun, just to find he doesn’t have one. Only then does he actually look at me and realises who I am.
“How on Oddworld did you escape?” I ask again. My voice is remarkably loud in the night air.
“I should be asking you that question.” Blege says, sounding more than a little confused. “Where are your legs?”
Before I can answer, more figures emerge from the vegetation. Creck and Zevenk both step out and approach Blege. Creck has a bruise appearing over his right eye, and Zevenk seems to have something wrong with his mechanical legs because he’s limping slightly. None of them have seen me yet.
“Who are you talking to? You’re not going crazy, I hope?” Zevenk jokes. He glances in my direction, and stops in his tracks. Then Creck sees me, but as I expected he doesn’t say anything.
I’ve never been more relieved to see other Sligs.


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So, erm, yeh. I guess Shrown leapt through dimensional boundries to my house and threatened to shoot me unless I continued his story. :D

And the PMs, and kidnapping was utterly useless. I spent so much time preparing it.

Cool! I can't wait for more.:D

I think it was the PMs and kidnapping that persuaded me to start writing again. I just can't believe it actualy worked. (Oddey, you're not the only one reading this are you? If you are you're the only one commenting *shakes fist at everyone else*.)

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Creck skilfully lights a fire, which casts a much-welcomed glow on everything. The night is painfully still. There aren’t even any nocturnal insects chirping away. We all sit around the fire and talk in low whispers, fearful of being heard by anyone looking for us. First they tell me how they escape. Blege does all the talking. It’s as if he’s become the leader in the short time we’ve all known each other.
“I know it’s hard to believe, but I actually used to work in that place,” How convenient, I say in my head, “and I know all the exits and everything. So we were all standing around waiting for the Queen to be finished with you, when she starts shouting something about Skeeters and Fleeches. I don’t know what she was on about. She’s mad if you ask me. She was always screaming and yelling when I worked there. I had the unfortunate job of checking her eggs so most of the time I was in the cave with her and–”
“Ahem.” Zevenk interrupts. “So sorry, but you’re going off subject.”
“Right, right. Where was I? Oh yeah; she started shouting and the Sligs guarding us just ran into her cave. We were left completely alone. So we had a quick vote and decided to escape before anything bad happened. We took the Ball Car back up to above-ground and from there I led everyone out of the place. You see the only real way to get in and out of the tower is the trains, but there are many emergency exits in case of fire or something like that. But on the way we bumped into a couple of guards. They only had batons so they weren’t much of a threat but they still managed to damage one of Zevenk’s legs and give Creck a black eye.”
He speaks like he’s the biggest Slig on Oddworld. I can see the others rolling their eyes. I feel a bit neglected. I mean, no one’s even bothered asking why my arm is puffing up and turning purple.
“So anyway, that’s how we escaped. What about you, huh?”
“Well,” I begin, not wanting to go into too much detail, “I kinda’ angered Skillya a bit. She shouted at me, I shouted at her, she shouted threats, I ran. That’s when the guards came after me. There was a conveyor belt taking her eggs and I jumped on that. From there I found an air vent, climbed out of my legs and somehow managed to crawl out of the tower.”
The others nod. “What about your arm?” Zevenk asks.
“I think it’s broken. It happened when I was trying to get out of the air vent. It took me ages to drag myself here. If you lot hadn’t have come along, I would have been caught. Well, either that or I would have died in a couple of days.” It’s amazing that we’ve even found each other again.
“If your arm is broken we need to put it in a sling. It’d also be a good idea to get you some new legs.” Creck advises. “We should get you some new ones as well, Zevenk. I don’t think the ones you have now are going to last much longer.”
“How are we going to do that exactly?” Blege asks sceptically, raising his voice. “I doubt they just leave that stuff lying around in the open.”
Creck remains silent. It’s pretty obvious Blege doesn’t like him.
Zevenk, who thinks the idea is a good one, comes up with a plan. “They’re sure to be patrolling for us, right? What if we lure a couple of Sligs away and beat ‘em up? Then we can take their legs and run.”
“What then? Where will we run to?” Blege argues. I don’t think he likes other people coming up with ideas when he can’t think of anything. I know I’m being judgmental, but I’m beginning to dislike him.
“That’s the question, isn’t it?” I say. “We’re criminals, and we’ve just made things worse by fleeing from interrogation. We can never show our faces to society again. What do we do now? What’s out there for us?”

Omg! You're continuing it! That means I won't have to track you down and whip you! =D
Awesome stuff. I wonder what Shrowns' gonna do now that he's escaped Skilly. I can't imagine she'll just let them get away.
UPDATESPLZ

Ooh, you're back! *deletes relevant computer hacking files*

Another couple of great chapters too! Sorry I wasn't around to say so before :p Plot moves on; where will they run to? will they get pants? Can they trust Blege?

Oh my god Blege is a traitor. I know it.

But that chapter was awesome so you better wirte another one.:D

Thanks. I missed writing this too much to just forget about it.

Thank you! And, erm, computer hacking files?? :eek:

What makes you think Blege is a trator? Another chapter is on it's way!

The way he seems to have gone into complete control is an easy sign saying that he's definately got something behind his back, and since he used to work there maybe he still does work there. He might have been ordered to turn them in. Then there's also the fact that he didn't agree too much with anything everyone else said. I don't know what that has to do with being a traitor but it doesn't sound sliggy.:D

Did the kidnapping ever take place? Because I seem to remember you were hiding in a cave.:D

Ooh, good thinking! But Blege definately doesn't work there anymore. He's one of those guys who thinks he's the best at everything and he doesn't like being told what to do. Also I think he was hit on the head a couple of times as a young Slig which has caused him to have mood swings every now and then :D.

No I didn't get kidnapped. But the threat scared me so much that I ran off to a cave for a month :p. All I had with me was my computer (which somehow worked without any power) and a neverending supply of food and drinks.

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But sligs are lazy and incompetent. Zevenk's aturning baddish. I want more!:D

How handy!

Good chapter. Zevenk is sliggish, we hae pants and a plan; I guess it's time to head off (or is it?...)

Yeh, that's one of the reasons I put that bit of speech in there. And Zevenk might seem nice and friendly but if he needs to protect himself he can be evil.

Maybe...

Ok, when I decided to carry on writing this I changed the storyline quite a bit (notice in the first post it says it would be a bit like AO). Hopefully the new storyline will be more interesting. Also on chapter 8 it says "The day before Shrown escaped Queen Skillya…" (as Splat pointed out, he hadn't yet escaped). For a couple of reasons I changed this to "The day Shrown was taken to Queen Skillya…". Sorry for the confusion and everything.

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Chapter 14

The day Shrown escaped Queen Skillya…
Vechk made his way to the lunch room on his own, his feet making soft echoes on the floor. He took the long way round so he didn’t bump into anyone. The last thing he needed was more criticism.
After he had showed Crelet his experiment things had gone terribly wrong. Firstly, Crelet had ‘accidently’ let slip about all he had seen. The news spread like wild fire through the underground lab, and within a few hours every Vykker knew about it. Now whenever Vechk walked past someone he would be shot with mocking glances. Everyone thought he was an idiot for even trying.
Tiredly, Vechk pushed the doors of the lunch room open and ambled inside. To his relief the place was completely deserted except for the three lunch Mudokons and an Intern in the corner who was finishing a late meal. Vechk had timed his lunch so he would be the only one there, not wanting to be in the company of others. The Intern barely glanced up from his food as the Vykker walked past.
Not wanting to stay too long, Vechk had a bowl of slightly cold soup for lunch and a couple of Paramite Pies for dessert. The room was relaxingly quiet, the only sounds being the Intern nibbling his food through his mouth-stitching and the soft buzz of the overhead lights. The lunch Mudokons were taking naps, forgetting the fact that Vechk could report them for sleeping on the job.
Soon the Intern got up and left, leaving Vechk on his own. He put his head in his hands, trying to think of something that would sort the situation out. Again he thought about using the Flying Scrab to capture that Mudokon terrorist, but he dismissed the idea. He didn’t want anything bad happening to his experiment.
He soon left the lunch room and crept back to his own lab. He approached the door and reached for the handle, but stopped at the last second. He could hear very faint sounds coming from within. Carefully, he lent against the door, listening. The experiment was in there, but it wasn’t what was making the noise. Someone was in his lab going through his things.
Rage building, Vechk pushed the door open and charged inside. An Intern spun round to face him, eyes wide, a bunch of folders and papers in his spidery fingers. Vechk gave the Intern a deadly stare and folded his arms.
The Intern gazed at the folders with a confused expression, as if he didn’t know where they had come from or how they got into his grasp. He glanced at the open draws he had been going through seconds ago, again with the same perplexed look on his face. Turning back to Vechk, he shrugged his bony shoulders.
“So,” Vechk said casually, “who sent you to steal my research? Was it Crelet? Or someone else?”
The Intern rearranged his headphones and once again gazed at the folders in his hands. He no-longer looked confused, just bored. He gave Vechk a look that said can I go now?
Vechk narrowed his eyes. Quietly, he shut the door behind him. He found the key and locked it. The Intern had seen too much. Vechk couldn’t let him leave, even without the folders.
“Would you like to see what I’ve been working on?” Vechk asked merrily. The Intern, who had obviously been sent to collect information, put down the folders and nodded his head enthusiastically. Vechk motioned for him to follow and strode into the room with the caged Scrab.
The two stopped by the bars, and Vechk feigned surprise. “Oh, a shame. It’s hiding in the shadows. Well I suppose I can open the cage and lure it out. Then you will be able to see it.” He calmly unlocked the cage door and gestured for the Intern to come closer. The Intern stood next to him, staring transfixed into the darkness.
Vechk suddenly shoved the Intern forward and slammed the door shut, quickly locking it and standing out of the way. The Intern, angered, kicked the bars. He said something Vechk didn’t understand; it sounded like an insult.
“I’ve got you a meal,” Vechk announced in a sing-song voice. The Intern looked around slowly as he sensed something at the back of the cage move. His eyes widened as the Flying Scrab silently appeared. Franticly, the Intern began to pound against the bars. The experiment darted forward, impaling the Intern through the chest with its sharp beak. Vechk ignored the blood that spurted onto him.
The Scrab threw the Intern to the ground, grabbed him with its mechanical arms and threw him across the cage. The Intern, barely alive, weakly dragged himself across the floor to the bars. He looked up at Vechk with large, helpless eyes before the Scrab dragged him struggling into the shadows, leaving a trail of blood in its wake. Vechk smiled.

Nice chapter.:D I like the way the Intern was confused. It reminds me a bit of a cartoon.

Boo hoo, only one comment.

Thank you! I feel sorry for the Intern. At least the experiment won't be hungry.

Sorry for the short and boring chapter.

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I started reading this a while ago and I really like it so far. :fuzgrin: The first person narrator style is unique.
I'm going to read the rest of it asap ^^

:DI just read the last chapter which despite it's shortness is quite good. More soon.

AHAHAHAHAHAH! I guess i'm not the only one who enjoys hurting interns. xD

Awesome chapters, sorry I didn't say anything before, I didn't notice you update. ^^ More please!

Yay, thank you!

Thanks!

Thank you! Yeh, I couldn't resist the bit with the Intern.

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... Who could it be? The Scrab? A worker? Or a patrol?

I'll have to wait and see. Next chapter please.

Thanks Oddey!

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Nice chapter but I would have enjoyed it a little more if my brother hadn't been whining about something.:D

More soon please! If only for me.:D

That was a close one. I actually thought Shrown would've been captured or something there. But then there'd be no story. =)
More please.

Thank you. But when you said "I would have enjoyed it a little more if..." I thought you were going to point out something that was wrong with that chapter.

Thanks!

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So without any farther hesitation we begin to head back outside. Blege is in a stress, but everyone just ignores him. No one’s bothered to mention anything, but he’s beginning to get on our nerves. The way he automatically became our leaded (though not a good one) has irritated all of us.

At first things go smoothly. We run into no trouble, which worries me more than it should. I just hope that Vykker stays unconscious long enough for us to escape. If he wakes up before then, well, we have a problem.

Zevenk (who is leading us) abruptly stops, allowing us to all trip over each other. I clench my teeth as Blege bumps into my broken arm. He gives me a quick, unapologetic glance before moving out of my way.

Zevenk franticly motions for us to move backwards. We do so, not questioning his motive. Soon we’re hiding behind the door we just came through.

“What’s this –”

“Shhh!” Zevenk cuts Blege off before he can finish his sentence. I open the door slightly and peak through. A Slig guard trudges down the corridor, the mechanic whirring of his legs echoing off the walls. In one hand he has a gun, the other a beer bottle. By his staggering I guess he’s drunk.

“It’s ok,” I whisper. “Looks like he’s been drinking on the job. Blege, what’s wrong?”

Blege, who stands motionless, is staring blankly up at the ceiling. I follow, trying to determine what he’s looking at. And then I see it. In our haste to get away from the guard, we completely forgot about the security camera we had to dodge not minutes ago.

Just as the others realise what’s going on, a high-pitched alarm starts to scream at us. The sudden sound is painfully loud and we al put our hands to our ears.

They know where we are.

“We have to get out of here now!” Creck yells over the alarm.

“You think?” Blege sarcastically replies.

Taking charge, I push the door open and run at the guard. He turns to me, wobbling. He doesn’t raise his weapon so I don’t think he knows who I am, but that doesn’t stop me from punching him in the face. He falls, his beer smashing on the floor. I pick up his gun.

I glance at the others, who aren’t even doing anything. “Well, come on then!” I shout. They run after me as I disappear down another corridor.

On the way in I made sure to memorise which doors we came through, which directions we went, just in case Blege let us down. This time I don’t bother to hide from every security camera we come across. They already know we’re here so it doesn’t matter. When we finally reach the door to the outside world I let Blege take over.

He hastily punches in the code, but the door doesn’t open. He tries again, thinking he got it wrong, and still the door remains shut.

“Oh no,” he whispers.

“What? What’s going on?” I say angrily.

“I forgot all about it. Just in case something like this happens, all emergency exits automatically lock. The only way to open them is to use a special authorisation pass, which most of the guards are equipped with.”

“Let’s just go back to that guy you knocked out and steal his pass,” Creck suggests.

“No, it’s too late. We have to get out now,” I interrupt. Pushing past Blege, I smash the key lock with the butt of my gun. Electricity crackles and the door awkwardly slides open half way. It’s still raining outside, even more heavily than before.

“Or we can just do that,” Creck mumbles.

I was kind of aiming for that in my last comment.

Very awesome chapter. More... But how are you going to continue two fanfics at the same time?

It shouldn't be too difficult. If you want my honesty I was going to cancel this one (again) but then I realised I'd like to see it finished. Also I thought if I stopped writing bad things would happen :eek:

we all would love to see this continuing :fuzgrin:,
gee... you already wanted to chancel this awesome fanfiction! :nonono: I still can't believe that this story nearly died! And yes, really bad things would happen if you stop writing again!... :p

please write more :) I really enjoy reading this. :D

I'll send Voldemort to your house if you stop writing... Again.:D

this is the best thing ive ever read whens the next chapter
9718

Thanks J_dude320! Next chapter should be here in a few days. And Oddey, you know Voldemort?

Very distant releative. He's my great great granmother's boyfreind's other girfreind's great great grandson's girlfreind's brother. As you can see: very distant. Now where's my next chapter?:D

Well that confused me at first but I think I managed to get a mental image of the family tree.

Sorry for not posting this sooner but I've had huge writer's block. And I'm back to school now so I've got loads of GCSE rubbish to look forward to. Oh joy.

(A quick note; the part with Vechk happens at the same time as the part with Shrown. Hopefully there won't be any more of 'The day Shrown did this, that and the other...')

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great! :fuzgrin: The Flying Scrab is a real interresting character. So Vechk wants to use it for chasing Shrown and the others? I'm verry curious about what happens next :D

I bet I know what's gonna happen here.:D But I don't want to tell anyone.