It's still missing your friendly neighborhood RPG moderator :(
Is Stingbee ever going to make an appearance? Maybe as a distraction for the angry mob. (No one will ever notice him if he makes a clever alias such as... Beesting! And I loved the Mutual Friend bit, keep it up! |
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something terrible has happened. I have lost ch 4. I had it, but it was accidentaly lost. I'll have it up soon, I have to rewrite it. |
Aw man, that's a shame.
I wish ya the best of luck, rewriting it though, mitsur :) |
Thanks Snuzi and anyone else who expresses condolences while I type this. Anyway, I'm throwing in a bunch of new people this time, and actually adding a plot.
Here we go! *** CHAPTER 4: INACTION-DISTRACTION "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Mitsur heard the scream from the other end of the Infinite Corridor. It seemed that abe16 had found what was ever at the end, and hadn't liked it. Mitsur felt a pang of pity for Abe. He must have gone mad. Then Mitsur spotted a quarter on the hall floor. He leaned over, all thoughts of Abe's insanity forgotten. "So...shiny..." He mumbled. He grabbed it, and put the quarter in his pocket. He kept walking down the hall, and reached the door. He went through, right back into the entrance hall. As he began his way to the cafeteria, he saw Splat step from the shadows on the other side, wearing a trench coat and fedora hat, along with a pair of dark sunglasses. He looked pointedly at Mitsur and the pay phone nearby him, and turned casually away. Sighing, Mitsur dug the quarter out of his pocket, looked at it one last time, and put it in. He dialed a few numbers, and Splat's cell phone rang. Mitsur put the phone to his ear. He tossed Al's towel onto the floor with some revolution. "Hello?" Mitsur heard Splat's voice twice, once from the splat down the hall, again from the voice in the phone. "Splat, you can stop being stupid." "Were you followed?" "Um, I don't think so. Unless Max has Sam Fisher-like stealth." "Fine. Did you sweep the room for bugs?" "You mean, like cockroaches?" "Never mind. I'm in-bound." Splat hung up, and sauntered down the hall, and made a huge show of bumping into Mitsur. "Oh, hey Mitsur! How's it goin?!" "Splat, you have to stop watching Casino Royale! It wasn't that good!" "I loved that movie!" Splat said in an elaborately casual voice. Then it lowered. "I've got the package. We should stay here; it's not safe. Let's go find a better place. Meet me in the cafeteria, stat." With that, Splat melted back into the shadows. Mitsur rolled his eyes, pretending not to hear the clunking noises coming from the vent above him. When he got to the door, a laser punched through the metal until it cut off a circle-like hole. Splat fell through and hit the ground with a crash, then jumped to his feet. "Let's move." Mitsur stood to one side and Splat gave the door a flying jump-kick and knocked it off its hinges. He landed neatly, and motioned Mitsur in. A deafening amount of conversation hit Mitsur in the ears as he walked in. The cafeteria was packed; all the tables were full of people chatting. At the end, the serving line was like a snake. The second's line was miniscule. (Mitsur noticed that the main dish was REXY'S OATMEAL FLAKES) At the left end, there was an impromptu bar. Seated at it was the once-angry mob. SeaRex was tossing ingredients willy-nilly into a blender; Havoc and Jordan_Boi were having a drinking contest with what appeared to be Listerine; Snuzi and Mutual Friend were playing Slapjack; Nemo and Skillya_glowi were passed out together in puddles of Sprite; and Patrick Vykkers was polishing a glass in a bartender outfit. Mitsur and Splat took two empty stools in the middle, and sat down. Splat took off the trench coat, hat, and glasses, revealing a tuxedo beneath. Splat cleared his throat, and leaned toward SeaRex. "Ahem...the rooster is in the hayloft. I repeat, the rooster is in the hayloft." he whispered. SeaRex groaned. "You just had to get him started, huh Mitsur? Now he'll never stop." "Hey Splat." Mitsur said. "Why are you wearing a tuxedo?" Splat pretended not to hear. "Excuse me, bartender? I'd like a martini-" "-shaken, not stirred." Mitsur finished for him. He rolled his eyes. Patrick nodded to Splat's order, and started getting ingredient together. Snuzi pushed the cards away from him in disgust. "I can't believe I lost again. I should've played against someone I know I can beat." Snuzi suddenly brightened. "Oy, Bullet Magnet! Get over here; I wanna show you something! Mutual, I'll see you later." Mutual nodded, and ambled over to a table with Ghost, Sapphire Diamond, Wired, and Spirrow sitting at it, deep in conversation. Bullet Magnet came up. "Tea please, in a green teacup." Patrick, apparently a man of few words, nodded. "Hey, Bullet. What's with the turban on Abe16 thing?' Mitsur asked. Bullet colored. "What turban?" "The one that made Abe think he was Oz." "Oh, that turban! I just got this crazy idea, see, that if I spray painted the hope diamond and-" Snuzi cut Bullet off in mid-sentence. "Will you deal already? I need to get my booze-money back!" Grateful for the interruption, Bullet turned toward Snuzi and started to deal. "Check please." Havoc mumbled as he took another sip of Listerine, and tipped backwards off the stool, a fake tiger tail sewn to the seat of his jeans. Jordan gave a victory cry, then toppled off the stool also, a bottle of mouthwash still clutched in his hands. Dripik immediately came up and took the stools. "Hey, have you guys seen Al or Rexy?" he asked. Mitsur decided now would not be the time to tell him about the towel-pulling incident. Or his suspision that Al and Rexy's abscene was not a coincidence. "Um, no." he said. "Oh well. Well, I need to go make sure Rupture Farms is ok without me. I'm gonna go. Thanks, guys." he walked off. Mitsur shrugged, and turned toward Patrick. "Hey, Pat. Can you make me a Bloody Mary? With just a slice of lemon." Mitsur asked. Patrick nodded again, and grabbed a glass. He tossed it into the air, and Mitsur almost felt the bullet time come on as time slowed down. Patrick grabbed down, pulled up two drink hoses, and fired at the glass. The liquids hit the glass, filling it up and spinning it, the centrifugal force keeping the drink in. It kept moving up. Pat grabbed a lemon, tossed it up, turned, and grabbed a knife. He lunged upwards, and, like an old samurai film, fell on the other side of it on one knee. The glass fell bottom down onto the table, not one drop spilled. The lemon divided into ten pieces, and a wedge landed directly on the edge of the glass and stuck there. Almost as an afterthought, Patrick put an umbrella in it and handed it to an awestruck Mitsur. The whole cafeteria was silent for a moment, and then it broke out into thunderous applause. "How the hell did you learn that, Patrick!?" SeaRex asked, as he methodically checked Havoc's pockets for a wallet. "You wouldn't believe how many times I’ve seen The Matrix and old samurai films. It seemed infinite." He said. Snuzi grabbed the lemon slices out of the air and popped them into his mouth. His face immediately scrunched into a fish face. SeaRex turned on the blender, and then poured the resulting glop into a cup. He tossed it to Snuzi. "Here, this'll take that sour-ness out of your mouth in a hurry." he said. Snuzi nodded thankfully, and drank it in one go. His eyes rolled back and he passed out again. Bullet leaned over, slapped Snuzi to make sure he was out, and checked his back pocket and pulled out a wallet. He pulled out two 100 bills, and was about to give a yell of triumph when he realized it was Monopoly money. He sighed, and put it back. "HIDEY-HO, EVERYBODY!!!!" A voice screamed from other side of the cafeteria. "Speaking of infinite..." Mitsur sighed. "Abe16 somehow got to the end of the Infinite Hall. I think it drove him crazy..." "How do you figure that, Mitsur? It is, after all, the Infinite Hall. Not the Slightly-long wide Hall." A voice behind everyone said. They all looked back, and then had to look away. An intense white light was shining. Somewhere, a duet of Angels started to sing. "Je-bus Alcar! Take off all that gold! And make Sapphire and Rexy stop singing!" Havoc yelled, who was now awake. He checked Jordan's wallet while shielding his eyes, then kicked him awake. "Wha..?" Jordan said, and then caught Alcar's bling full-force. "ARGHHH! MY EYES!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" "Sorry." Alcar said, and stowed it away in his jacket pocket. "You can stop now, ladies!" Sapphire nodded, and went back to her lunch as though nothing had happened. Rexy, however, took off in a direction that was suspiciously toward Al's room. Jordan continued to flail around for a few seconds, and then collapsed to the floor. "I'll have a grape soda." Alcar said, and Patrick nodded. "And none of the cool flipping stuff. I'm thirsty" Just then, Max ran in, and spotted Abe. Swearing, he went up to the bar. "Geez, Abe's gone nuts...I found him stumbling away from some kinda black orb at the end of the hall. Now he won't stop quoting South Park." he said. "Here," SeaRex said, "Give him this." he tossed Max what was left of Snuzi knockout punch. Max grabbed it, and took off for Abe. "Well," Mitsur said, standing up and stretching, "Thanks for not beating me to a pul-" "You guys gave up, too?" Arxryl said, as he walked up. He was holding a little red button, which he handed to Havoc. "What's that?" Bullet asked curiously. "Um, nothing." Havoc said. He stowed it in his back pocket and idly started attaching straws to his face like whiskers. "Yeah, I’m too hungry to open up a can of whoop-ass on Mitsur right now." SeaRex said, tossing an M&M that had spontaneously appeared in his hands into his mouth. "Me, too." Jordan said. "I'm starting to feel all that old fondness for him I had before he Chuck-Norris'd me into the ceiling." "Hey, thanks guys. Well, I'm gonna go take a sh-" Mitsur began, but alarms cut him off. AWOOGA. AWOOGA. AWOOGA. AWOOGA. "WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!?" Havoc yelled over the alarm. Alcar had paled. "IT'S THE n00b ALARM! EVERYONE, GET TO YOUR STATIONS!!!!" The cafeteria exploded into movement. Sapphire jumped from her table and her back exploded into wings, and she flew off. Mutual, seemingly unconcerned about this defiance of rational thought, dashed toward the urinal that was for some reason on the nearby wall. He jammed his foot in, grasped the flusher, and pushed. He whirled around multiple times, and disappeared down the drain. Ghost slowly faded away, until he was invisible. The door opened, and then closed apparently by itself. Wired spontaneously combusted, but when the smoke cleared, he was gone. Spirrow hurdled a table and turned into a Sparrow in mid-air, and flew off. Bullet Magnet and SeaRex vaulted over the bar counter, and disappeared a trap door that was hidden beneath a rug behind it. Patrick doused Snuzi's face in cold water to wake him up, and they went to the drink rack. Patrick grasped a vodka bottle, Snuzi grabbed a Coor's, and they both pulled their drink like a lever. The wall spun around blindingly fast, and they were gone when it stopped. Nemo and skillya finally woke up and dashed at the wall. They went through it without leaving a mark. Havoc and Jordan snapped their fingers. They turned into a tiger and scrab, respectively. They roared and ran off. Arxryl grabbed the potted plant on the counter, spoke something to it, and touched the leaf. They both melted into the floor and disappeared. Splat, who had dove behind an over-turned table when the alarms went off, was holding a pistol with a long-shafted silencer on it. He looked around, and dashed out the door, pistol raised. Mitsur sat dumbstruck. In two minutes, the whole cafeteria had emptied, the people going to their stations in either strange or hilarious ways. Then he snapped out of it. He leaped onto the over-turned table, grasped the lamp above it, and pulled once. The chain lowered, and Mitsur put his foot on the glass. He tugged thrice, and he was pulled into the darkness above. *** Ah man, I hate having to write stuff twice. I kept getting things mixed up. Still, this is my favorite chapter to write, yet! If any of you have read the Dark Tower series, you might notice that the black orb Abe ran away in the Infinite Hall was in fact Black 13. Thanks for reading. Not chapter tommorow unless I'm really eager to do it. Snowboarding all day. Let the comments commence! |
:lol: Real good chapter there Mitsur, keep'em coming.
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What a fool I am. As I was reading this, I actually though, "Hey, maybe mitsur will make me conscious for an entire chapter this time and actually give my character some importance!". Damn you for being so gullible, five-minutes-ago-snuzi. Damn you.
Besides that, I really liked it :). You know, once you're done with this, you and I should collaborate along with a few other people and create another one that has to do with OWF. Each person can do a chapter. It'll be fun :D P.S. Please...just please make me conscious from now on? I realize you're probably going to just disregard that and have me knocked out again in some unexpected manner, but it was worth a shot nonetheless. |
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You would be correct, sir! Although you will have an awesome action part, as will everyone else. Someone's gotta fight off those incoherent n00bs. |
Well, that sounds promising. I can't wait to read it :p
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this sounds too cool. Especially that part about me and the plant sinking into the fllor. this thing is turning out to be awesome!
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I can honestly say I laughed until I began to cry. Fantastic. I loved all the secret agent randomness!
So will this n00b burn our ears with its incoherent-ness, or will it be a troll and smash everything? |
Or maybe he'll hack the entire system and scream "All your posts are belong to me!"
This n00btacular twist to the story sounds very interesting. |
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Mitsur this story is amazing, it's a wicked idea, well done ;) It's really funny, and I can't wait for chapter 3, ROCK ON! |
Heh, another great chapter. I wonder why was I looking for Al and Rexy?... Or why did I take the stools?... These might have importance some other time, eh? But you got my current W@RF-attitude perfectly, I'm just checking but not posting anything there.
I'm seriously thinking about making illustrations about this story. What do you think, mitsur? Most 'characters' have pictures in WDYLL. |
:lol: marvelous.
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Well I don't like the sound of that. Thank the Odd for *hopeful* bullet-proof trap doors. |
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Dripik, that sounds like an awesome idea. If you can do them, or find someone who can, that'd be great. I'd prefer the pictures to be the best possible, so it will make the fan fic that much more popular. Please, when you get some done, PM me them, don't post them here in the open. I'll put them all in one big piece as the cover. It'll be great. Thanks a bunch! And sorry guys, but like I said, no chapter until tommorow. |
Haha love it! At least I'm being kept busy. ;)
- Rexy |
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*opens up media player instead* |
Mitsur this is hilarious! Thank you so much for including me in it, the bits you put about me made me laugh like mad!!
I wonder who that noob is... Lord Vulcher perhaps? |
Perhaps it's someone who hasn't yet registered, but will cause trouble in the future :p.
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Hahaha, this is fantastic :D Most of the stories I've read on here, while they often have a nice humourous touch, have a serious backstory, (and don't get me wrong, that's usually a good thing) so this is just seriously funny (now isn't that an oxymoron for you :p) stuff that seems totally random! Good job :D
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You know I had a very strange dream about this before it was written, I dreamt that the OWFs was a huge building, and a thread had it's own room!
It was very weird... This story shows how we get along together, and it's just amazingly random! I can't wait for the next chapter! |
Maybe you should just let everyone post pictures of their characters or of scenes, I can imagine it being cool to see the mix of talents, and some of the silly things people might come up with. Just let people do fanart as they wish, it'd be more inline with the thread to post anything and everything.
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You created a great story, Mitsur, let the fans post their stuff. :D |
Great comedy story this Mitsur. I'm intrigued as to who you'll be making the noob squad- Stingbee, Vulcher, 'Wired'? I also love how you're portraying some of the characters, such as the snuzi-knockout running joke, or Splat being a James Bond obsessed type of guy. I'm interested to see where it'll go next, and I wonder, will I ever appear again apart from briefly grabbing your arm at the start?
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So go ahead and post all your art on OWFTOL here, guys. I don't mind. Anyways, here comes ch 5! *** CHAPTER FIVE: INVASION It was dark. A claustrophobic dark. The dark that haunts nightmares. It was all around him. It was eating at his very soul. And the worst of it was, He was enjoying every bite. But so much, so much darkness, it was driving him mad HE COULDN'T THINK, COULDN'T EVEN BREA- Mitsur was snapped out his daymare. He was still being pulled upwards, his hands was still grasped firmly onto the lamp chain. He shook, unprovoked. Something had found him in his dreams, but whatever It was definitely did not mean to help him. Rich, dying light from the sunset spilled onto Mitsur's arms as he past openingings in the wood as he was pulled higher and higher up into his tower position. Finally, he was pulled into a more modern steel area. The lamp stopped at a dark landing, and Mitsur stepped off, snapping his fingers as he did. The lights slowly glowed on, fluorescence giving the tower an unused air. All around were crates, with weapons and ammunition resting on them. A small hallway stretched in front of him, with similar lamp-elevators at random intervals along the way. As Mitsur checked to make sure everything was in place, the chains of two other lamps rose, and soon Munch's Master and Gretin had risen. Both of them looked grim over the approaching event. Mitsur nodded curtly, which they returned, and outfitted himself. He grabbed a sniper rifle, and a handful of clips. Munch and Gretin did the same. Striding along the hall to their Sniping position, Munch spoke. "What do you guys wanna bet this time? Pansies or pissed-off wannabe hackers?" he asked. "I'm gonna go with incoherency." Gretin said. "Big alarms like this usually mean-" "You're both being stupid." Mitsur said, frowning. Then his stern face broke into a smile. "I'm going on the smart money." "What's that?" Munch said, curious. "Wanna-be 1337s." "What's that?" Gretin asked. "OMG WTF!?!one!!11! U /)0/\/'7 no \/\/h47 7h/-\7 15!?11!!!oneonelolololol!!!" "What the hell did that mean?!" Munch said, horrified by the atrociousness of Mitsur's 1337. "That's exactly what I'm going for." Mitsur said, smiling a bit. The three snipers had reached the end of the hall. A pair of elevator doors waited for them. Mitsur pressed the button, and it opened with a soft ding. They all stepped inside, ready to do murder, as a pleasant piano version of 'When the Saints go Marching In' played from a hidden speaker. "Trust Abe Babe to make everything pleasant before she gave the job to Alcar..." Mitsur muttered, and Munch nodded agreeably. "We could've at least gotten 'Tribute'. That's at least funny and cool." Gretin rolled his eyes, and banged the wall of the elevator. The music changed instantly to Jimmy Hendrix, and the three were air guitaring madly in seconds. The elevator doors opened with another ding, and the three inside showed no sign of their previous mad air-guitaring skillz. They stood stock still. The top room was simple enough, with three firing slots in the wall, which gave them a commanding view of the battle field. One slot was on the left, another in the middle, and one more on the right. A simple air-conditioning system was in place on the ceiling, as was a small crate of water and food. Munch took the left one, and Gretin took the right. Mitsur settled himself in the middle, and set up his rifle. The view Mitsur had was astounding. He looked through his scope, and saw nothing but an intense, endless desert known to many of the forum members as The Desert of Ignorance, per the endless part. The dying sun still shone on some of it, thought, revealing a trackless, dry, and crumbled wasteland. Worse than even the Wasteland Blaine the Mono had crossed all that time ago with the Line of Eld in his compartment. The desert stopped suddenly at the edge of the OWF building outskirts. Even though he was high above, and could only see the bottom portions, Mitsur though that the building itself looked majestic, a castle built and still building in honor of intelligence and rational thought. A huge trench stretched from one side of the forum building to the other, and set up in it were at least one hundred forum members, too small to seen who they were. All of them were bustling about, waiting and preparing for the inevitable attack. A huge dust cloud was behind the n00b army. They numbered three hundred at the most, but most of them looked tired, hungry, and burnt-out. Behind them was presumably a leader, but he was hidden in the dust cloud. Not that Mitsur, Munch, or Gretin would fire at him. The etiquette of war still stood, and anyway, the army was out of range. The n00b army stopped their march a football field's distance from OWF. The defenders stopped, and raised their weapons. The burning sky lit the scene of the attackers and the defenders for a moment, and ended it's long, slow travel to the horizon. It slowly traveled down, the burning sun waiting to be replaced by a burning moon. There were only minutes of light left. Mitsur, Gretin, and Munch did not hear the following, although they were told later about the words. However, they saw everything from their sniper position. A lone n00b walked forward, and called out in a reasonably coherent voice. "Can the leder of oWf cum and met are leder so they can negocicate?" he asked. Alcar, who had been dressed in regular clothes so as not to make himself noticeable, stepped clearly into the desert. "I would prefer to see your leader himself, first. And none of this childish nonsense talk." A stir went up from the n00b army. Voice called out faintly, like "OMG wut a jerk!!111lolone!!1", "Wuts rong wit me gramar?!1!1!!!1", and "WTF JeRk!!11one!!" Alcar ignored it, and the lone n00b tittered. He spoke again, but it was shockingly in the voice of an untamable evil, ancient beyond thought. "YOU FOOL," It/he bellowed. "I AM THE LEADER! AND I SHALL DESTROY YOU ALL!" It/he snapped his fingers, and instantly began to morph into some kind of Beast. Mitsur's scope shattered, as did Gretin's and Munch's. As the sun finished it's descent, darkness fell, obscuring the figure before it could fully become It. Although no one but Alcar saw The Faceless N00b in His/It true form that night, all sensed it. Mitsur felt a mind-numbing amount of terror and fear invade his mind, and had to resist the urge to break and run. Gretin and Munched were unmoving, although they must have felt the same fear. Alcar strode from the darkness a few minutes later, a mixture of anger and disbelief on his face. He shouted loud enough that even all three of them heard it in the tower. "ALL OF YOU GET INSIDE. WE HAVE MUCH TO DISCUSS; THAT I AM SURE OF. THE FACELESS ONE HAS AGREED TO GIVE US THE NIGHT." Mitsur nodded unthinkingly to Alcar, and the three snipers went back into the elevator and down to the lamp room. They all looked at each other nervously for moment, and then backed onto their lamps, contemplating the events that had just unfolded. Mitsur absent-mindedly tugged his chain, and his mind whirled as he descended back into the soul-eating blackness. *** Not much comedy or length to that chapter, but I thought you should stew on the nature of The Faceless N00b. You'd forget it all if I launched into a huge battle scene. Anyways, thanks for reading. Put a few Dark Tower refrences (Blain the moo) but that's all the subletly I can manage for now. So, guys, go ahead and post your artwork here, if you want. On to ch 6! |
OHNOEZ! NOOBZ! Hehe excellent, this story is actually getting quite involved - I feel a Helm's Deep kind of scene coming up! :P
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The way you are doing this, with different types of n00b soldier and everything, is hilarious. It is reminding me as well of Helm's Deep, and seems like a funny chapter's coming. Perhaps you could have one of the members get 'hacked' by the n00bs and infected to seem like a noob soldier himself? This is real entertaining reading, and I'm intrigued by this Faceless One stuff. Pity I've never read Dark Tower, I'd probably get more of these in-jokes.
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If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. That option is always available.
What about the noobs who genuinely wish to become good members? Or do they come wandering in from the desert, and invasions like this only occur when a game is released? |
Joining the noobs is not an option! This day we FIGHT!! :P
If it becomes a big siege, it would be fun if we could get every active forumer shown - I was gonna say every forum member, but that's like, 2000 including inactive ones XD P.S. Don't forget bots on the noob side, they're kinda similar >_< |
I liked it, but it's not as good as some of the past chapters. Remember the point of this story if for comedy above all else! Remember your prologue!
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that was funny. especially the bad grammar of the n00bs. I see a huge war goin' on here... well duh, but...
I can't wait to see what'll happen next. maybe their attacks could be called spam grenades and they paralyze the opponents with rnadom nonsense. this would be one of the things I look forward to when I get home from school. :) |
You should make some cameos of some more crazy old members that caused trouble here etc in the past. Regardless another fine chapter my friend!
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Yes, guys, I have remembered the prolouge. Remember the saying, 'looks are deceiving'. You'll all probably be disappointed by how this all resolves itself, but you'll get your action scene.
Well, let's get goin with the new chapta! *** CHAPTER SIX: THE MEETING Mitsur was lost in his thoughts when the lamp stopped its descent. So lost, that he forgot to jump off the lamp. It started its descent back up, because of the pressure. He gave a startled yelp, and jumped off, smacking his head on the ceiling, and landed on the upturned end of the table, sliding off, and landing hard. He turned it into a roll, and then got up, then almost immediately bent over from the pain. Gathering himself together, Mitsur summoned up what was left of his dignity. He flung out his arms, and with great aplomb, yelled out, "TA-DA!" Nobody clapped. Mitsur shrugged, rubbed his head, and went into the entrance area. A huge crowd had already gathered. Alcar was standing in the front of the room, trying to get everyone to calm down. "Guys, just be quiet. You should all know this." Alcar was saying, but everyone was babbling on, regardless. Alcar spotted Mitsur in the crowd, and waved him over. "Mitsur, glad to see you. Now, I want you to tell me something. Did you see anything wrong with the n00bs?" Alcar asked, whispering. "Besides the fact that that one guy could turn into something that wanted me to run back to my bed and pull the covers over my face? Nope. Just that they all look pissed-off, hungry, and ready to drop from exhaustion." Mitsur said, then paused, and whispered. "And why are we whispering?" "No reason. Ok, go tell Majic to start herding everyone into the Cafeteria, so I can address everyone easier." "Wait, I can do that myself." Mitsur said, putting an arm on Alcar's shoulder, wincing at bit at the sudden awkwardness. "How?" he asked, puzzled. Mitsur took a deep breath, and yelled out, "YO!" Instantly, the talking went down. "FREE PIE IN THE CAFETERIA!" Almost as fast, every eye turned hungrily toward the cafeteria door. Then Splat shouted out, "YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!" He pulled back his trench coat, and shot out a grappling hook from his belt buckle, which latched onto the air vent and pulled him up. He was cutting through the grate and had crawled in when everyone stampeded for the door. Mitsur grabbed Alcar and started dashing for the door himself. "How are we going to make pie in sixty seconds?!" Alcar yelled over the din. "Don't worry about that! Snuzi showed me his secret stash last week!" Mitsur yelled back, and they dashed into the cafeteria. Mitsur fought his way to the bar, smacking faces and butts as he ran. More than once someone said, "Who touched my nether regions?", "Whoa Mitsur, I'm not that kind of guy!", and even once, "Hey, look guys! Another nickel!" Mitsur positioned himself behind the bar, and pulled the Coor's and Vodka bottles Pat and Snuzi had pulled earlier, themselves. The wall spun back, and then stopped in the middle. Mitsur stood, dazed from disbelief, at the amount of pie. Stacks upon stacks upon stacks upon stacks of the pie were almost chocking the secret room. Snuzi had once called it "The Grand Pie-nyon" Mitsur understood why, now. He turned back, and jumped. Everyone had a glassy-eyed look as they gazed upon what was surely Heaven on Earth. Mitsur slowly grabbed a box, and moved it left, then right. Their eyes followed unthinkingly. He raised it, and the eyes rose. Sweat broke out on his brow. Jesus Christ Mitsur thought. If I crush this thing they'll tear me apart. He hurled it into the crowd, and all hell broke loose as pie went everywhere. *** 30 minutes later "Okay guys, let's get down to business. You should all know one thing: Those n00bs will most likely kill us all. And slowly." Alcar said, grimly. "I suggest you all do whatever you want. And make it fast; sunrise is only in a few hours." A collective gasp went up. Havoc fell out of his chair. SeaRex looked green. Then Mutual Friend spoke up. "Really?" "Noooooo. I just wanted to see the look on your guy's faces." Alcar said, and burst out laughing. An angry growl went up among the room, but it eventually settled. "Ok, ok, I was out of line. Let's get to the serious stuff." Alcar said, sheepishly. Then he turned serious. "Now, I've seen him in his real form. Nothing short of terror filled me; then I remembered one fact: The n00bs are exactly that. N00bs. They most likely have no idea really what they're doing. That kept me calm. All of you here are true-blue members. You're smart, calm, and most importantly, know how to handle yourselves. These n00bs most likely are going to flail around, knowing nothing. The Faceless One is the only one who is relativity smart. And looks are deceiving. He is not as strong as you all think. We have a very good chance to win this. All we need to do is act intelligently." Throat dry from the long speech, Alcar stepped down. For a moment, there was no sound, and then the whole cafeteria burst into huge applause. Then, when it faded off, no one went up to the stage, and an uncomfortable silence. Then, Splat stood. Oh my god Mitsur thought He's going to drive us all mad. Splat walked up to the stage, and adjusted his trench coat. He put on a commanding air, and spoke like Q. "You are all my finest agents. I have been proud to serve with you all. Now we will all go out, dodge the bad-guys bullets without even trying, kill them in one shot, all while looking extremely fashionable!!!" Splat yelled it out, and they all yelled a victory cry and stampeded out the door to the armory. Mitsur got to the door first, and opened the door, and gave a scream of terror. All the guns and ammo had been melted. Smeared in melted plastic on the wall was NO CHEAP HAXOR WEAPONS THIS TIME LOLOLOLOLOLOL. "That bastard destroyed all the guns..." SeaRex muttered behind him. "Don't we have anything else that's potentially deadly?!" Jordan asked desperately. "All I can think of are those swords we all used during that D&D craze all those years ago..." Alcar muttered. "That's good enough." Mitsur said. "Where are they?" "I think in the room marked GEEK CRAP." Max said, always the archivist. "Figures..." Mitsur muttered, and they all headed that way. ...Outside, the Faceless One watched, and grinned. *** No notes today, guys. |
Ha, I loved that one, Mitsur. I thought it would be cool if someone
had the skills and time to actually make movie episodes using life-like movie graphics software. But then again, it would be difficult to figure out what someone sounds like in real life and then mimick it. Thanks for including me, though I might add I would have become a human-sized blue eagle instead of a sparrow. No matter though. Great job. |
Brilliant Mitsur, better chapter than last time! I still hope that this 'faceless oe' is a well known torublemaker ex-member, and this chapteer definitely reverted to the more humourous style. Great work.
I could give it a shot at making a movie of it in Paint and Movie Maker, but I'd need to know exactly how Mitsur envisions all the characers first, down to little details. |
Ace! ROFLs!
I have crowd control! The old n00b I know of was called batteryclock. When I joined Necrum Burialgrounds were full of his threads. One was saying 'How many legs have you got?' The seconds post said 'Two, why haven't you?' to which he replied 'I don't want to talk about it.' What's the point of making the flipping thread dude? |
LOL Splat... hmm...
*starts 'How many faces have you got?' thread...* |
Wow, a hilarious chapter as usual Mitsur! I loved the effect of the n00bs, I want to see cameo noobs too! Let's think... Lord Vulcher, ELEMENTOFLOVE...
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that was an awesome chapter! Less Arxryl than usuall, but maybe that's a good thing... ;)
Kidding aside, that was an awesome chapter! |