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-   -   Penis explodes (http://www.oddworldforums.net/showthread.php?t=9994)

oddguy 05-04-2004 07:42 PM

I hope it wasn't the guy's first time. That'd suck.

Dr Angela Domocos, head of the accident and emergency department at Cluj General Hospital, said: "I don't know what this couple were playing at, but there must have been tremendous pressure inside the penis to make this happen."

That leads me to believe that this couple was doing something uber kinky.

-oddguy

Havoc 05-04-2004 09:57 PM

Maybe they where doing Extreme SM, using explosives :D.

*Reaches 200 post count :fuzsmile:*

Sekto Springs 05-05-2004 09:12 AM

Hmmm, I don't know how I could feel his pain, I've never had any pain down there before, I don't often use by penis as a punching bag.

Havoc 05-05-2004 09:38 AM

Don't often? So you do it some times? :P

Sekto Springs 05-05-2004 09:49 AM

:

Don't often? So you do it some times? :p

Gimme an L!
Gimme an I!
Gimme a T!
Gimme an E!
Gimme an R!
Gimme an A!
Gimme an L!

LITERAL!

And no, I heard that once you do it you can't stop. Besides, I have Girlfriend and I don't need your pitiful "rituals" :p

Nate 05-05-2004 12:48 PM

People do strange thing for self-gratification.

This could be a myth but apparently a few people are killed/injured every year because they tried to test the (untrue) rumour that it is really great to masturbate whilst standing on a chair with a tight noose around your neck. Don't do this at home kids.

Another one I heard that may possibly be true (I havent tested it) is to grab ahold of the top of a door frame, pull yourself up so that your feet are off the floor, press your penis against the side of the doorframe and flap your legs in and out. Personally I don't get the physics of that, let alone the biology of why it would be great but as I said, people do strange thing for self-gratification.

Sekto Springs 05-05-2004 01:55 PM

:

People do strange thing for self-gratification.

This could be a myth but apparently a few people are killed/injured every year because they tried to test the (untrue) rumour that it is really great to masturbate whilst standing on a chair with a tight noose around your neck. Don't do this at home kids.

Another one I heard that may possibly be true (I havent tested it) is to grab ahold of the top of a door frame, pull yourself up so that your feet are off the floor, press your penis against the side of the doorframe and flap your legs in and out. Personally I don't get the physics of that, let alone the biology of why it would be great but as I said, people do strange thing for self-gratification.

My ex-friend, Hoover (who's slowly becoming my friend again for some reason), would actually count the times he masturbated, I think he lost count a few months ago because he announced it like he had just lost his favourite pet. I think that, since his first "session" he's masturbated about 127,349 times, by now it's probly increased by about a thousand.

None of my other friends masturbate, they think it's just wrong to undergo premature ejaculation unnaturally.

Mac the Janitor 05-05-2004 06:03 PM

Every single guy at my school masturbates.

Personally, I couldn't live w/ myself if I masturbated as much as they do...I mean, honestly, I have better things to do with my time then pretend to have sex with my hand.

oddguy 05-05-2004 07:15 PM

:

Every single guy at my school masturbates.

Personally, I couldn't live w/ myself if I masturbated as much as they do...I mean, honestly, I have better things to do with my time then pretend to have sex with my hand.

Sums up my feelings perfectly.

:

My ex-friend, Hoover (who's slowly becoming my friend again for some reason), would actually count the times he masturbated, I think he lost count a few months ago because he announced it like he had just lost his favourite pet. I think that, since his first "session" he's masturbated about 127,349 times, by now it's probly increased by about a thousand.

It's even more lame to count all the times you pretend to have sex with your hand! :p Really, masturbating that much can't be healthy.

-oddguy :fuzzle:

Mac the Janitor 05-05-2004 07:21 PM

I've even heard of a guy masturbating so much that his cum was dark brown, cos it was mixing with blood.

Now THAT's a lot of masturbation.

oddguy 05-05-2004 07:34 PM

Gah! That is just...YUCK! Whoever that dude is...he needs some serious help. I don't know why somebody would do that to themselves.

Also, if you masturbate all the time(like more than once a day regularly)...wouldn't it get boring after a while?

-oddguy

Havoc 05-06-2004 03:49 AM

Better question: Wouldn't it start to get realy sensitive after a while... I mean... try mastrubating like 4 times in a row...

Mac the Janitor 05-06-2004 04:28 AM

:

Better question: Wouldn't it start to get realy sensitive after a while... I mean... try mastrubating like 4 times in a row...

It depends on if he is circumcized or not...usually uncircumcized kids have the "upper hand" (heh) when it comes to masturbating.

Isn't this a lovely conversation we're having?

Sekto Springs 05-06-2004 09:52 AM

Yes, circumsize-ums (as we so cheerfully dubbed them) seem to be the excessive masturbaters in our humble society. I hear that masturbating regularly enlarges your penis, which is a load of utter bullshit, so people who are desperate to become "men" masturbate more than what's good for them (not that it's good for them at all). People like that one guy who bleeds aswell as cums will not have a healthy (or comfortable) sex-life, of course someone who masturbates as frequently as he probly has never had real sex. Circumsized and non-circumsized people are known to have a healthier and more comfortable sex life if they don't masturbate or masturbate very little, proven fact. I know the feeling, I've ejaculated, but not with my own hand, I don't want to get Mrs. Rosie Palm pregnant, that's just as bad as stereo-sex. and Oddguy, to answer question, it never gets boring...if you've ever felt the sensation then you'll know why these bastards do it so often.

oddguy 05-06-2004 10:31 AM

:

Isn't this a lovely conversation we're having?

:lol: Who started this anyway?
*looks*
Aha! 'Twas Nate_dog_woof!


I'm circumsized! Yay!

:

Oddguy, to answer question, it never gets boring...if you've ever felt the sensation then you'll know why these bastards do it so often.

Wow, you give me way to much credit. I'm not that innocent. :p I'm just saying, excesive masturbation is bound to get boring. You can fake sex with your hand only so much.

-oddguy

Sekto Springs 05-06-2004 10:43 AM

:

I'm circumsized! Yay!

I'm not, and I'm glad I'm different. Out here only the adults seem to be circumsized. None of us "young-ens" are. I heard that 70% of America prefers circumsized men, our area must be the other 30%. The girls out here are alot like the boys and they don't like unnatural things such as circumsition, so our girls prefer fore-skin...weird. Oh well, we've always been the oddball among other places. :D

Mac the Janitor 05-06-2004 12:03 PM

I am also uncircumcized.

I don't give a damn, either.

I'm too young to be whippin' out my big man anyways, so it doesn't matter.

I heard that only 60% of the population is circumcized.

Nate 05-06-2004 12:48 PM

:

:lol: Who started this anyway?
*looks*
Aha! 'Twas Nate_dog_woof!
-oddguy

hey, don't blame me. I was telling an anecdote, not my personal habits.

Oh, and 127,349 times. *pulls out calculator*

Okay, I'm assuming he is the same age as you have listed sligslinger (15)
let's say he's been doing it every day since he was 11.

now 4 years * 365 days is 1460 days.

divide 127,349 by 1460 is 87 times a day. Seems a bit unlikely.

Even if I got the age wrong and he is actually 51 (so for 40 years) that still means 8 times a day! ouch!



Oh, and some scientists put out a paper a few months ago saying that if you masturbate 5 times a week, you have a significantly decreased risk of prostate cancer. And that doesn't include sex apparently.

Majic 05-06-2004 01:28 PM

:

Wow, you give me way to much credit. I'm not that innocent. :p I'm just saying, excesive masturbation is bound to get boring. You can fake sex with your hand only so much.

I wouldn't really consider it a matter of desperation of people who can't get "laid" or purposefully faking sex. It's the feeling, chap, the feeling. Or, I may just be interpreting your statement wrong.

EDIT: Nor would I really consider it a lowly act, either. Something that feels good, like most everything else.

Havoc 05-07-2004 03:04 AM

Wow... this topic could get interesting... oh wait... it already is :).

Well 8 times aday is totaly a lot! DAMN! I don't even do it every day. Every day is boring to me, let alone 8 f*cking times per day!!!

Alcar 05-08-2004 01:51 AM

I must congratulate you all on your hightened sense of maturity. Really, I mean it. I would have expected a lot less maturity in something like this. Although I usually keep such things to close friends, in the name of experimentation. Though it's fairly obvious some of you here are lying.

I'm feeling particularly evil at the moment, so allow me to humiliate Kevin.

:

Peter: "Hey Kevin, you know what I heard?"

Kevin: "What?"

Peter: "Well, apparently, studies have shown that masturbating more than five times a week reduces prostate cancer significantly."

-- However, Kevin misheard me, instead thinking I said "increases" instead of "reduces". At this point, Kevin's face contorts and he lets out a whimperish "Oh my God".
Oh, and stop masturbating. It's against the Christian religion, you blasphemous people. You're all going to Hell! *evil laughter*

Alcar...

Havoc 05-08-2004 03:24 AM

Im not religeius anyway! WHAHA NANANA! Oh...

I agree with Alcar, after the first few posts about this I realy thougt: OMG, this is going bad... geuse it isnt. Good going guys... actualy some ppl who can talk normaly about it.

About most time I keep those kind of stuff to my self, but hey. Everyone els is sharing. And its not like im sharing eveything that happands in my bedroom (or anywhere els for that matter ;)).

Mac the Janitor 05-08-2004 06:26 AM

:

I wouldn't really consider it a matter of desperation of people who can't get "laid" or purposefully faking sex. It's the feeling, chap, the feeling. Or, I may just be interpreting your statement wrong.

EDIT: Nor would I really consider it a lowly act, either. Something that feels good, like most everything else.


I'd actually have to agree with you there. When done in moderation, it's ok...every single teenager, guy or girl masturbates even once in a while, no matter how much they deny it. It's perfectly normal. However, when done in excession the person is usually sexually unsatisfied.

oddguy 05-08-2004 07:46 AM

:

Oh, and stop masturbating. It's against the Christian religion, you blasphemous people. You're all going to Hell! *evil laughter*

Ouch! Guilty.

:

When done in moderation, it's ok...every single teenager, guy or girl masturbates even once in a while, no matter how much they deny it. It's perfectly normal. However, when done in excession the person is usually sexually unsatisfied.

Yeah, it's normal...but I try not to do it. Like Alcar said, it's against my beliefs. :)

-oddguy

Mac the Janitor 05-08-2004 01:09 PM

I forget why exactly it is against the Christian religion...is it labeled as cheating on your future spouse?

Codek 05-08-2004 03:24 PM

God gave us the gift of masturbation so that we could remain virgins until we have found a wife to be faithful to. At least, that's my understanding of it.

I really don't see why it would be so bad once in a while to have that sexual release - most biologists studying the human anatomy would tell you that you need to do it at least once a month for you to remain sexually productive.

Alcar 05-09-2004 12:15 AM

I do not know the exact reason. Though I've always believed it to be the temptation to pleasure yourself, and whether you can resist or not. Sort of like how Adam and Eve were tempted to eat the apple.

Though, here's a good one. Do fundamentalist Christians abstain from the art of pleasuring oneself?

Alcar...

Fez 05-09-2004 12:24 AM

I'm just waiting for the "Quim Implodes" thread.....

Hobo 05-09-2004 01:16 AM

:

I'd actually have to agree with you there. When done in moderation, it's ok...every single teenager, guy or girl masturbates even once in a while, no matter how much they deny it. It's perfectly normal. However, when done in excession the person is usually sexually unsatisfied.

Here's a fact for you 95% of teenage Males in England masturbate at least twice a week. And yet the word wanker is still an insult.

The Red Muse 05-09-2004 04:06 AM

My, my... How... interesting conversation you're having...
Very deep, I might say.

:p