Now my life has been crapped up even more... One of my best friends is being sent to RTC which is an alternative education center basicly for people with depression problems. And really shes getting better on her own, she has medication and a counsler. As far as me and my friends know thats fine, but a few thought it was necessary to take her away form what she loved by a warped sense of reality. My other friend needs it though, but sehs not there. She tried to kill herself like a month ago and has like 6 2 inch scabs across various places on her left hand, but shes not the one getting the super help. And now by something I knew nothing about I've basicly broken up a relationship for good which I would personaly not like to explain...

I've done that twice to my best friend. Also i have stopped him from seeing this other lass (She was a bitch th0) Its like i said in the topic Morphius created...Jealousy and Love are the worst problems of human society...but he still likes me...YEY!

Personally, I've come pretty close to giving up. I think that their are two things that drive people to these problems. Chemical and Surcumstantial. Mine is surcumstantial. My mom's is chemical. Most people with homocydal tendencies are either mentally ****ed up (chemical), truly have a need to kill someone (surcumstantial), or just completely normal. Until you actually have the weapon and a target, everthing's just words. I don't really like talking about personal experiences (which I'm told IS my problem), so I guess I'm of little use to this topic.

So you blame drugs, then...?

[btw, it's spelt "circumstantial"...]

Did you know, if you kill someone and dont bother to conceal the murder you can be classed as insane and get a shorter life sentence and/or possibly go in a institution instead of prison.

Well. Won't that be fun? Makes it all seem worthwhile, doesn't it...?

lol. Well...yes. Would you rather be in prison with big hairy men called 'Bob' or 'Mr Big' and being molested (Stereotype i know) or be in a mental home with insane peeps called 'Cleetus' and 'Hilary-May Johnson' being drooled on...eh...wich!?

Meh... They both have their ups and downs... It depends. Would Mr Big be gentle...?

I know, I know, I'm spamming *don't hurt me* but I think it's justified.

Attention, Jacob's ranking is now "Vykker Scientist". Explains a lot, don't it?

I think what Matt meant was chemical problems in the brain. Like messed up chemical reactions...

Like theres some unbalance of some vitamin or something that can be solved supposidly by medication. And today I found out why my friend happens to really be going away. Lets say her name is Sue. Shes a year older. But her tendancies rub off on my friend my age called, lets say Kelly. And Kelly is relatively infuential upon my peers, 3 of them actualy. Lets call them Sarah, Jenny and Alex. So Sue -> Kelly -> Sarah, Jenny and Alex. And even through situations in life Sarah and Kelly made a pact, one of them (namely Kelly) cuts, so does the other one. And its all ****ed, and I have another friend wearing a band aid around her wrist from a "papercut". My friends are pretty much faliing over under influence. I really feel like throwing up right now, it just is stupid. Well the point is, the teachers think getting rid of "Sue" will make it all right and prevent future influences. And I don't believe it, besides blades hurt like hell against your wrist...

um..and for the record, you wouldn't go to a normal "mental institution"..you'd go to a mental institution for the criminally insane, and possibly be kept in solitary confinment..which would probably be best, considering the other people that would be there....and, you would most likely have to go through some very harsh "treatments"..as far as I know, electro shock "therapy"
isn't as commonly practiced as it used to be, but is still used on extreme cases. Oh, and lets not forget the medications...dulling your senses...

Dull you senses? Trust me, they highten them; just because the outside observer sees it one way doesn't me it is another.

do you have any relatives in mental institutions? I sure do, and trust me, their senses are anything but sharp.
I'm sure different medications have different effects, but if what you said was true...don't you think they wouldn't be using those particular seditives any more?

Daves right, the sense that aren't used would probably go down. Not get higher... Bah...

It would be so easy just to live in a Institution wunt it really? Free food, not a care in the world. You just sit there and drool...Hmmmm

I don't think they allow internet connections.

All together now: NOOOOOOOO! *grin* Yes, folks, that's the real hell. *laughs*


- TyA

My theory is sort of like this, when it comes to medication:

Perhaps retarded people aren't actually stupider then everyone else, but are actually more intelligent, merely losing touch with their more earthly functions; or, if they're really so intelligent, realizing they can have a free ride if they only speak in broken english and walk funny.

Perhaps it's the same for medication? Just because the docter's equipment can't detect it, does that mean it's not there? Western medicine is complete nonsense... I'll stick to that until I need a bypass. ETA: maybe 30 years.

Point being? I dont really need the net, its like a luxury. I only use my comp for homework, watching DVD's, watching music vids and talking to friends. Oh and research for my ambitions.

I have now decided i am gonna kill someone. It is gonna be the next person that piss' me off at skool, i am gonna beat them to death with something hard and watch as their brain fluid trickles out via their nose before i stamp their skull and listen to it shatter, penetrating the brain and killing them or comatosing them. Or i'll commit suicide...lol

I take it you have a very dark sense of humor, no? And if your really going to, make it some bitchy guy who thinks hes all cool and puts others down;)

Suggestion, if you can only choose between those two things: commit suicide. Landing in jail is stupid. *grin*

Or, even better yet: Do neither! Um. Just. Chew on someone. :D


- TyA

" And if your really going to, make it some bitchy guy who thinks hes all cool and puts others down "

Thats the suicide option then.

" Suggestion, if you can only choose between those two things: commit suicide. Landing in jail is stupid. *grin* "

I would commit suicide just out of curiosity really. To see what would happen/see the 'Other side' as it were. My funeral is all planned aswell. Im gona have 'YMCA' played and 'Always look on the bright side of life' The life of Brian version. And im gonna have a party afterwards. But if i murder someone, the people in England will finally know what i look like and i will have people saying 'We shouldn't of pushed him so far' etc. etc. And on my resume i could have 'Murderer, able to use domestic appliences/everyday objects to advantage.'

*blinks* You'd throw away your life without knowing whether there is something after death or not for sure?

You probably won't like to hear this, but I don't believe in things such as "But I can't help it, they made me do it!" or the equivalent of "But I can't help it, I'm psychologically damaged because of them!" or likewise.

In the end it is you picking the choice you do, it is you who interprets life as what it is (optimistically or pessimistically). If you have a shitty life, I feel for you, I really do, but it's no excuse. You don't go blame something you did on other people Ã* la "You pushed me so far!", which is what you are indirectly implying.

Unless I am mistaken and misunderstood you completely.


- TyA

Hm, suicide is actualy quite intruiging to me also. I'm not going to though, to many risks;) Its like a game to yourself... You want to try it to see what its like, but you never do it. Like beating the shit out of a person that pisses you off (Yea Chris...).

Life and Death is a game basically. Everyday is like moving a counter, i play life as a game...makes it more fun. I dont know what point i was trying to make there...im listening to music and its distracitng me, so blahness.

I aint really psychologically damaged. Merely mislead and dont know how to deal with certain things, plus, i dont have no-one to share my feelings with. I have one good friend who i can really trust but i dont tell her most things cos i think i sound pathetic. In the end it all builds up and i go into this psycho rage thing were i either cut myself or plan a murder or spread rumors. I get in awful moods though when i get like that, im totally out of character. The thing that gets me in one of those moods quicker is the lust thing...cos that gets to the heart.

True, i hear that people who had suicidal tendencies go through quite abit of research before they finally attempt it to find the most efficient and painless way of ending their life. I have done this loads of time but never get round to executing it or i fall asleep or sumat.

Exactly... All the people I know of use blades. The morons. Blades like seriously hurt when pressed hard and like, you bleed alot and leave a mess and dont always suceed:sick: I would personaly choose carbon monoxide poisoning or soemthing. Or like chlorine sniffin' One that doesnt involve *shudders* lots of blood. And seriously, if you pres a blade to your wrist especialy, it like leaves a line there for a few days which really sucks. Cause if you decide not to or your goofing aorund people go "Ack you need help!" Sheesh.

I would use the Carbon Monoxide poisoning too, so long as i was positive i was going to die and not be left in a comatosed/veggie state. Cos that would be embarassing!!

Hell yea it would. And it would suck to be living and thinking and hearing but not talking, moving, or anything for that matter to show others what your feeling. But you would die, I mean you'd like pass out and die during that. I find this funny contemplating the best way to commit suicide....

Mixing Alkohol with some anthesetic type drugs, then slashing your wrists and holding them in a tub of warm water while being in a car that is filling with Carbon Monoxide. That cant go wrong can it?

Hm, that can be after you overdoes yourself on Advil or soemthing, and you can have severely beaten your head with a jagged rock, and be try and swallowing a yarn ball. Now that would be one heck of a death.