We do a lot if it, yes.

I am sad and lonely. Hold me.

Say that to a cute girl and all your problems will go away.

Come on, I always said that before having sex the first time! I am an ugly, stupid, rude and poor jinxed guy, but I've had sex! You surely can do it.

This a moderator notice: Just because Havoc says he's had sex ever doesn't actually make it true. Infact, all the more unlikely it is, given his eagerness to boast about it on the internet.

So we can all sleep easy.

Actually I was just trying to spark conversation. I sense jealousy.

Oh come on! That's an old one! Make a new one!

Oh, boy. I'll have to give it some thought.

Havoc stop bragging about banging some under-age girl. makes me feel fucking nauseous.

jesus you're a cunt.

Well.. At least she wasn't 11....

Or a feline.

I'm being unecessarily mean.

*waits for the voraphiles, zoophiles, and enchilados to spice up this thread*

You know who would've made this thread great? Jacob. Or maybe AFOS.

With a vigorous circular motion hitherto unkown to the people in this area, but destined to take the place of THE MUD SHARK. In your mythology, here it goes now...THE CIRCULAR MOTION...(rub it)...(Here Fido...Here Fido). And then, in a fit of anger, I pounced again the GREAT GOOGLY-MOOGLY I jumped up 'n down on the chest of the...

That's a pretty accurate account of my original experience.

What in god's name was that? An excerpt from a Seussian monologue?

You lost your virginity while watching Maggie and the Ferocious Beast?

Ultimately, I think Teletubbies is a much more appropriate show to have sex to.

Stop writng in your accent! You know we can't understand what the fuck you're saying.

a dunt no what yer on abaat, a want talkin in me accent. excerpt from a frank zappa song that wha.

She was seventeen. She stood there, the rippling waters of the lagoon reflecting of her perfect skin. Slowly we moved toward one another, whispering to each other...
"Sweet love," she murmured poetically.
"Sex," I replied, with vigour.

WARNING: THE BELOW TEXT CONTAINS MATURE ACTIONS AND EXPLICIT APPENDAGES

You sick pervert.









She cost a lot though.

In wich sense?

In the sense that I'm now bankrupt and living in an abandoned semi-trailer with leaks in the roof.

But they make a nice stew, so I'm not complaining.

As if you could afford a decent prostitute with your pocket-money, Dennis.

Why would I be jealous you slept with a 15 year old? (S)He was probably desperate to lose their virginity due to peer pressure, and seeing you as the only lonely guy at the party, (s)he realised that this was their chance, they didn't care if it was the bottom of the barrel, they were going to do it, to finally lose their virginity. They approached you, got straight to the point. You checked if your friends dad was using the computer. He wasn't. You got straight to business. 15 awkward sweaty seconds later, you gave a poor 15 year old the most disappointment they will ever feel.

Shame on you.

Man that's an awful lot of detail for an event you (thank god) weren't even present for.

Actually, he probably was.

STARING THROUGH THE BLINDS

Notice how Havoc didn't say "No, that's not how it happened"

First times, always hilarious.

No... sadly not.