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-   -   Jacking Off. (And other sexual adventures.) (http://www.oddworldforums.net/showthread.php?t=12452)

Dipstikk 07-11-2005 11:05 AM

I'm very open about it.

WITH MY FRIENDS.

Mom knows, but I just don't bring it up.

TheRaisin 07-11-2005 01:48 PM

:

Mom knows, but I just don't bring it up.

There must be a great story behind that.

I find it funny when people are horribly offended by the suggestion that they masturbate, or even the question of whether they do or not. Granted, it does seem to carry more of a negative or taboo stigma for women than for men, but still... "OMG I don't masturbate how dare you accuse me of that you don't know me man!!11111". I assume that people who freak out about it that much either A) do it and are embarassed about it or B) are one of those (sorry about this) highly religious freaks, you know the type, "God has his eye on you every single second and he's recording all your sins and you're gunna go to HELL". Strange.

But I can completely accept that some people don't do it.

Rich 07-11-2005 01:56 PM

Lol, I've never been discovered. :p

Just emotionally blackmail 'em with tales of cancer and washing bed sheets!

Coolmanbizkit 07-11-2005 02:02 PM

If its against your religion to masturbate, The god of that religion must want it to be a possiblilty of getting Prostate cancer. Or whatever cancer it could cause

Esus 07-11-2005 02:34 PM

Yay, more bullshit.

big bro boogie 07-11-2005 03:22 PM

:

Lol, I've never been discovered.

Damn, YOU ARE ME!
That's why I have these err... Deja Vu's all the time... you're 1 year older than me.

Rich 07-11-2005 03:31 PM

:

Damn, YOU ARE ME!
That's why I have these err... Deja Vu's all the time... you're 1 year older than me.

Lol. 2 years actually, I'm nearly 16.

And if you are me, you can look forward to not getting any action off hot girls. Or any girls for that matter. God damn, life sucks. :p

Dino 07-11-2005 03:32 PM

:

Dino: No, its not because I do it so much that I disbelieve people automatically. Hey, if you say you don't like it and you very seldomly do it, fine. But to out and out lie, to say that you've never even done it once is offensive to me. I don't like liars.

I never said I've never experienced it. I said that I don't masturbate. I've had boyfriends/girlfriends do it to me but I've NEVER done it to myself - I never found out about it, it never occured to me on my own, and instead learned about sex first through my friends - I associated sexual urges with screwing people, and that is admittedly what I did. Not too often of course, but I've probably gotten laid more times during my teenage years than most as a result.

It got to a stage where one day I said to someone "what does 'wank' mean?" and when he took me to a quiet spot and explained it, I was kinda weirded out that anyone would be lonely enough to actually do that to themselves. As it turns out, I was the only one of the kids I spoke to who actually had sex as much as I said I did, and the rest of them had a wank instead. :p So now that I understand it as being normal and me being a bit strange for just bonking whoever I'm attracted to whenever I get horny it doesn't bother me that people do it, I just don't ever do it to myself.

big bro boogie 07-11-2005 03:40 PM

:

Lol. 2 years actually, I'm nearly 16.

And if you are me, you can look forward to not getting any action off hot girls. Or any girls for that matter. God damn, life sucks.

*Sniffs*
Oh, Jesus. Why does your life has to be soo damn bad?
If I ever meet you at OWF's first member-meeting, remind me to try and kill you.
And if I'll do it, I'll do it... With a plastic spoon. *Laughs evily and hard* :p

Ok, so I really wont. (As It affects my Karma for both killing and suicide, you lucky bastad.) :p

Dino 07-11-2005 03:44 PM

Wow now there's a good idea... OWF UK member's meetup. That'd be awesome.

Esus 07-11-2005 03:45 PM

...in London.
Now that would be awesome, purely because it's London.

Rich 07-11-2005 03:50 PM

:

Wow now there's a good idea... OWF UK member's meetup. That'd be awesome.
Yeah. It'd be like, 10 people. What a convention. :p

:

Now that would be awesome, purely because it's London.
Yeah. We could go to soulstices and sleep in his bed...

big bro boogie 07-11-2005 03:58 PM

:

Yeah. We could go to soulstices and sleep in his bed...

As in, kick him out? I'm in!:)

And I'd be there anyhow, Rich=I... *sniff*

Dino 07-11-2005 04:45 PM

:

As in, kick him out? I'm in!:)

And I'd be there anyhow, Rich=I... *sniff*

You're not Rich. You're big bro boogie, from Holland.

You'd have to be from the UK to take part in the UK members meetup.

Facsimile 07-11-2005 08:21 PM

It creeps me out when chicks ask me about it, but my friends and I talk about it all the time. Heh, that sounds weird, but we don't talk about it like 'How often do you wank?' kind of thing, it's more like something we joke about like "Why did you take so long to get here?" - "Sorry guys, I was at home havin' a wank."
Good times, good times.

But I try and do it as little as possible.

Dino 07-11-2005 08:27 PM

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But I try and do it as little as possible.

Wank or make lame jokes?

Leto 07-11-2005 08:31 PM

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from Holland.
ISNT TAHT VIERD?

:

You'd have to be from the UK to take part in the UK members meetup.
BAH. Not just a UK one... Or a UK one open to the non-UK descent peoples.

Dino 07-11-2005 08:38 PM

In the non-virtual world, people visit this subject like they visit lepper colonies. Yet when it's on the internet everyone will just be totally open about it. We're so nonchalant about it that we even get bored and hyjack the thread for the purpose of talking about meeting in real life, so that we can go back to being closed-minded embarressed individuals who exchange pleasantries and say nothing controversial.

Maybe there's something subconscious going on here... but I'm finding this whole thing a little too humorous for me to say anything intelligent about it anymore, so I'll just sit back and laugh at my thoughts.

AquaticAmbi 07-11-2005 10:09 PM

:

I wank because I don't have anyone to have sex with and I don't like waking up in a sticky bed. :D
I don't do it too much as that's rather perverted and wrong and it makes you have nasty veins. And it makes me feel guilty afterwards. :p

Nasty veins? Explaino please. And why do you feel guilty? Long, long ago, I did too, but that's when I was what Raisin has so properly termed as a "religious freak."

Dipstikk's comment about his mom knowing has brought back a horrible and awkward memory. Once during an awkward conversation about sex with my mom, I think she... she... suggested masturbation. (I don't know if it was targeted at Luke or both of us, but still! Blegh!) She told me that if it was about "needs," there are other ways of taking care of them than sex. I forget if where the conversation went after that, and I'm glad I have.

Hobo 07-12-2005 02:08 AM

:

Yeah. It'd be Dino, Rich, Esus, Godlesswanderer, Coolmanbizkit and Soulstice. What a convention. :p

Yet you forget me and Max :'(

Anyway, don't worry Rich. I never thought i'd get any, but look at me now *Puts on pimpin' hat*

Munch's Master 07-12-2005 02:22 AM

:

Yeah. It'd be Dino, Rich, Esus, Godlesswanderer, Coolmanbizkit and Soulstice. What a convention. :p

You forgot me too Rich! I'm English, so I'll be there.

Facsimile 07-12-2005 02:57 AM

:

Wank or make lame jokes?

Wank.
But they aren't lame jokes in person, sure they seem so written down, but it's kind of one of those traditional things we do. And which people's girlfriends get creeped out by.

I wish I lived in England.

Abeguy 07-12-2005 06:26 AM

dis topik is ghitting vehy intewestin

hmmm

Rex Tirano 07-12-2005 06:54 AM

:

Yeah. It'd be Dino, Rich, Esus, Godlesswanderer, Coolmanbizkit and Soulstice. What a convention.
Oh fine. Just forget me why don't you!

:

Maybe there's something subconscious going on here...
It's a psycological thing. There's a barrier between the poster and other people, so they can say what they like without being hurt. And if they don't like people's reaction, instead of living with it, they just turn the 'pooter off. It's about inhibitions or something...

I laugh at people who say you can go blind from masturbating. They're silly. :)

- Rexy

Esus 07-12-2005 07:39 AM

Rich has made many enemies here today....

Anywho, can't stand talk or joking about masturbation. People seem to genuinely enjoy joking about it in that they genuinely find it funny. So ****ing lame, but thats my Common Room all over.

Rich 07-12-2005 07:48 AM

:

Yet you forget me and Max :'(

Anyway, don't worry Rich. I never thought i'd get any, but look at me now *Puts on pimpin' hat*

Sorry. It was late and I went to bed before I could edit it. Same goes for anyone else who wasn't included.
As for getting some, I hope so. I don't want to be PA when I grow up. :p

:

Nasty veins? Explaino please.

Ok. *shudders* Right, when someone gets an erection blood flows into their penis and fills up the blood vessels making it get large, ready to do its job. By wanking too much this process happens a lot more often. Veins in cocks get bigger over time due to the pressure invloved in this. So eventually you get large obtrusive veins that stand out all the time. It's quite revolting. Yet still perfectly natural. :p

:

Oh fine. Just forget me why don't you!

Lol! If you want to sleep with me, Hobo, Dino, Max, Soulstice, Munch's Master, Esus, Godless and Coolmanbizkit all at the same time in soulstice's bed, then you're welcome! :p

:

I laugh at people who say you can go blind from masturbating. They're silly.

Ah, so that's why Hobo and I have to wear glasses.

big bro boogie 07-12-2005 08:57 AM

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Ah, so that's why Hobo and I have to wear glasses.

Oh, come on, man. I finally stopped thinking you were me. Then all of the sudden you wear glasses... crap.(I've got minus 2, minus 1.5):p

Rich 07-12-2005 10:02 AM

:

And why do you feel guilty?

Sorry, forgot to answer this in my rush. :p

It's nothing to do with God, I'm an atheist.
Say you wank while having thoughts of someone you like, they don't like you and they don't know that you are doing it. That in my eyes in comes across as being vulgar and plain nasty. It doesn't stop me from doing it but it makes me feel guilty, fantasizing over people.

Ouch, that seems wrong looking at it now...

Dino 07-12-2005 07:39 PM

This whole conversation makes me want to go have a shower, just for reading it.

Yea, I think we're done here to be honest. Unless anyone has anything else to add?

Rex Tirano 07-13-2005 12:14 AM

:

Lol! If you want to sleep with me, Hobo, Dino, Max, Soulstice, Munch's Master, Esus, Godless and Coolmanbizkit all at the same time in soulstice's bed, then you're welcome!
Oh you tease! ;)

- Rexy