THERE'S NO SANTA!?

*Sigh.*

We all must grow up at some point.

The following is an excerpt from, "The Machine."*

Is Santa real?

Yah…he owns and apartment in NY. It’s a real dump…kinda like your place, only nicer. He’s fat, thinks beer is a food group, and watched reruns of movies about robots (So, not to different from the rest of the human race)…

But, does he deliver toys?

That’s what the government wants you think!

Santa only spoils good kids. America is populated by materialistic morons. Put two and two together people. What better way to keep the less-than-fully-evolved population in check, then by promising stuff in return for mindless obedience. It's brilliant! The government is more intelligent than you think...wait…you do think, right? Does it take concentration? Does it hurt? Can you walk and think at the same time? Can you breathe and think at the…sorry…got off track there…

The aforementioned slacker only gets off his fat hind-quarters twice a year, and that’s to do a photo-op and ride the Macys Thanksgiving parade.





*The machine is a feature of my site, in which an (imaginary) device provides sarcastic answers and commentary relating with the, "Unanswerable Questions of the Universe," as provided by the populous.

Yes i do, im just saying that i choose to not believe in things like Gods/myths since that day that i found out about santa not being real.

shame on people who protest christmas... what is wrong with putting a baby who is supposedly the son of god on your lawn?

and then theres Santa! I love him! for these reasons:

He's a fat bastard, he eats cookies nonstop on his job, he looks like a friggin red balloon, he works one day out of the year, he spends all his life savings on toys and then gives them to the less fortunate, AND HE'S THE JOLLIEST MAN IN THE WORLD! I know if I worked only one day out of the year, and had to spend the rest of the year in a frozen hell, I'd be pretty bummed out!

THERE IS NO DISAPPOINTMENT FOR THIS MAN!

god bless him...

...... just wanted to put that out there....

Yeah, isn't it absolutely f*ckin awesome? :D

Kiddy shit is so inane.

I stopped believing when I found "presents" in my parents room that were what I wanted to get that year. I think I was around 7 or 8, I can't really remmeber.

But I never told them that I found the presents, I just let them believe that I believed in Santa as I had two younger brothers. And then when I was a bit older and finally told them, I actually used to help them put out the christmas stockings when my brothers still believed in Santa [or maybe they didn't, they might have been pretending like I was].

Summoner Yuna...

Now THAT really is interesting. And a bit fishy.

Why did you end your post with Summoner Yunas' name and not yours?

I was wondering that too.

Because Summoner Yuna has learnt Abe Babe's password or AB just feels like doing it or Summoner Yuna has learnt the art of Mind Control . Anyway my nephew is right next to me right and he beleives in Santa . He's nearly 6 but hey I could tell he is'nt real right now but I'm a sad bastard . When hes 7 I'll give Hobo a phone call . But me . But I can remember my parents exact words .

Me(6 years old) : Yay santa is gonna bring ma presents !

Parents : Thomas .

Me : Yes ?

Parent : Santa is'nt real

Me : Okay *next day*

other kid : Can't wait till Santa comes

Me : Santa is'nt real !

*

I remember on Christmas Eve several years ago I was at my cousins house and he'd gone to bed. My Aunt got me to help put his presents from "Santa" under the X-mas tree.

His time shall soon come.
It seems where I live now, Christmas has been sucked dry of any Religious meaning.

Also a quick question:

In countries where Christianity is not the majority, do people get time off around 25th December to New Year?

HA! That's great. :bow:

Indeed. Santa is a god, though.
Children believe in him. He is magic, they pray/send letters to him to get things, they give offerings to him on Xmas eve. He is a god. And about as real as Odin.

Funny but true. As children pray to Santa at Crimbo rather than Jesus or God it shows how Christmas stands for very little in Christianity today.

Joke's on them. Christians are all celebrating a pagan festival at christmas.

And there are children on this forum, that are younger than ten! I hope your happy, you may have just spoilt some poor childs Christmas!

No, because Christians celebrating Christmas tend to celebrate Christmas for it's true meaning- the birth of Jesus. But I get what your saying if you know what I mean ;)

The true meaning is NOT christian.

But whatever makes you happy.

Of course it is you silly bugger. "CHRIST"mas.

No it's not. Christmas is a PAGAN festival, which has been assimilated by the Christian faith, by means of creating a new festival on the same day as the Pagan one.

Easter is another Pagan festival which has been assimilated by the Christians/borgs.

Ah well, whatever flicks your switch

Factual information which isn't buggered up the curry hole is what flicks my switch.

Anyway, stop arguing with me, you're causing us to go off topic. Talk rubbish about santa so I can argue with you on topic. :D

or take it to private message to stay on topic and not ruin a decent thread :D

Fuzzle guy what 6 year old would be allowed to join a forum or even know how ? Oh and noone is younger than 10

That was so offtopic!

I hope santa gives you a wad of coal. NO, wait... wet wood. Yeah.

I'd like a bunch of sticks

My aunt who is now Jewish wasn't that religous when she was a kid

when her sister was like in high school, she was invited to a Christmas party and when she came back she said this

"did you guys know that Christmas is the birthday of someone called...Christ?"

Yeah, They were Santa believers all the way


Christmas was actulley King Nimrod's Birthday
One of the most evil kings in the Bible

Yes they are, I know for a fact they are, but they've made they're age older or not fileld it in because they don't want people to know, cos I know people who are younger than ten!

That would certainly explain some of the childish stupidity around here. :dodgy:

i've just edit my post so I don't get a warning for bad language or offending users! But I suppose that's childish isn't it!

I wasn't talking about you. But yes I am a creep, a VERY sexy creep, thankyou for noticing.